Splitting your time between 2 homes?

[shamrock30]

DH and I really love our current location. Previously, we spent 15 years in a different part of the state and it was okay, but it never felt like "home".

DH is in the running for a job about a half hour from our previous location, over the border in the neighboring state. We normally would not be considering a move, but the job market has been difficult for him for the past several years. This would be a good opportunity.

DH is a used to long commutes, but this would be two hours each way without taking traffic into account, so not practical. If this job comes to pass, we're considering renting an apartment or buying a small condo where his job would be, and keeping our current house so we return as much as possible, year round.

We don't have kids or pets, and I work part-time from home, so it seems feasible. Has anyone here ever split their time fairly evenly between two "homes", as opposed to a vacation home you live in a few times a year. Did it work out, or did you have to give up on it?

 

[mnrose]

We do this currently. We have a "main" home on a lake about an hour from our second home. We intended to only have one home when we moved here...the lake place. Fast forward a couple of years, and the school we were in just wasn't working for our twins. With open enrollment, we were able to find a much better school for them, but it was just beyond what was practical for driving (twice a day....once to take them, and once to get them). With the housing market being soft, we got a good deal on a single family home in an association maintained neighborhood (the association is responsible for lawn care and snow removal, which is a big help!)

It is definitely not ideal, as we forever are finding that something we want or need is at the "other" house. And, of course, we have utility bills and property taxes at both homes. But, we aren't going to do it forever (this is our 5th year, and we have 2-3 more to go). It's tolerable, and in fact, gets easier with experience.

 

[shamrock30]

Thanks! We don't think this will be forever either, but probably for several years. Our house is near the ocean, so we can't find the same type of feel in the (hypothetically) future town. I'm glad to hear "practice" helps. I feel like I got a small taste from a contract job DH had for a year, which took us five hours from home for two weeks out of the month.

 

[Mickeyrella]

DH and I really love our current location. Previously, we spent 15 years in a different part of the state and it was okay, but it never felt like "home".

DH is in the running for a job about a half hour from our previous location, over the border in the neighboring state. We normally would not be considering a move, but the job market has been difficult for him for the past several years. This would be a good opportunity.

DH is a used to long commutes, but this would be two hours each way without taking traffic into account, so not practical. If this job comes to pass, we're considering renting an apartment or buying a small condo where his job would be, and keeping our current house so we return as much as possible, year round.

We don't have kids or pets, and I work part-time from home, so it seems feasible. Has anyone here ever split their time fairly evenly between two "homes", as opposed to a vacation home you live in a few times a year. Did it work out, or did you have to give up on it?

I drive 1hr45m daily each way to go to uni without traffic... So I completely know how you feel! If you are able to afford both places and have a comfortable lifestyle or similar to your current lifestyle, then I'd say go for it... That's what I'm planning on doing anyways!

 

[SandrA9810]

When I was growing up, I used to live with my aunt in one city to go to better schools and in Miami with my mom and grandparents during the weekends/summer. Wednesday night was also church, so my grandparents would pick us up after school and my aunt would take us back to her house after church (since she worked further south in Miami).

It was stressful as a kid going to between houses (and who was in charge), but it got fairly regular after a few years and became normal. There really wasn't much that I carried back and forth, my stuff was pretty spaced out over the two houses.

 

[ilovepcot]

We currently have a home in FL and a home in NC. Our idea was to use the NC home in the summer and use the FL house in winter. Isn't working out that way. I like living here in NC soooo much better than FL that I just can't talk myself into returning, even for a week's visit. Not sure how we're going to handle this.

 

[Distinkt]

We had sort of a similar situation, but the distance was much further. My husband's job was split between two manufacturing plants 13 hours apart! We had our home in one state and an apartment in NJ. I had a part-time job that I did mainly from my home for many of the responsibilities. Had the commute between the two locations been shorter, it would probably have been more doable. As it was, the situation was exhausting and the logistics were horrible. We were constantly driving between the two locations because we had too much to haul on a flight and the cost was prohibitive. We were tired, it was expensive, even with some reimbursement, and I was never happy. The only ray of sunshine was that we were able to see our daughter who was attending college in NYC.

We are now living full time at our home (since May) and its its much better. You actually don't realize how much you let go, like home maintenance, etc. when you split your life between two locations. Even getting your grass mowed is an issue. Mail, bills, everything can be frustrating. But that being said two hours would be a piece of cake because you could go back and forth much easier. I am so much happier now that we are in one spot and together.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I used to spend the summers with my grandparents who split their time nearly equally between two homes about 2 and a half hours apart.

They did that for about 15 years and it seemed to go smoothly for them. They(and I) got into a routine of unplugging things, turning off water, taking all perishables along, etc whenever they changed (about every 2 weeks). The hardest thing for them was having mail held and making sure they did not miss a bill--which should be MUCH easier in this day of online bill pay.

 

[shamrock30]

Thanks for all the responses! Good point about the bills--as you said, I do pay them online these days.

 

[luvflorida]

Has anyone here ever split their time fairly evenly between two "homes", as opposed to a vacation home you live in a few times a year. Did it work out, or did you have to give up on it?

We are doing exactly what you describe, with about the same distance between the two places. We have a house in the Tucson area and an apartment in the Phoenix area. Travel distance is about 2 1/2 hours one way.

Our daughter and her family moved to the Phoenix area over the summer. Before they moved, they were only 40 minutes away from us, and we saw them several times a week. It was a hard decision for them to make, but it was the right one, career-wise. After a few trips back and forth, my husband and I decided the solution would be to rent an apartment near our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. We have a year's lease on the apartment and will see what the next year brings. We may decide to buy a house up there and sell the house in Tucson.

For now, we have been spending most weekdays in Tucson and weekends in Phoenix. Sometimes, I'll go up mid-week, and sometimes they come down here for a weekend. My husband and I are enjoying having two places, not only for the opportunity to spend more time with the grandkids, but also because both places are so different from one another. Our house in the Tucson area is out in the country and not really near much. It is peaceful and quiet. Our apartment in the Phoenix area is in a much busier, more populated area. Shopping and restaurants are all over the place. We can walk to many places if we so desire. Our apartment is situated so that we have no one over or under us, so we don't have to worry about noise, and the complex has a beautiful, resort-style pool that is open year-round. We are very much enjoying that with the grandkids!

The cons of two places, of course, are the added expenses (rent, utilities and gas traveling back and forth). We also have a cat that we don't like to leave more than a few days, so that limits the number of days we stay in Phoenix. He's good to leave for a long weekend, especially since he now has a companion. Our younger daughter's kitty is staying with us while she is out in Los Angeles. And there was the expense of furnishing the apartment, which actually wasn't too bad. We went on a shopping spree to IKEA and picked up just the basic furnishings, looking at it kind of like a hotel room and figuring what we needed just to be comfortable- bed, couch and chairs, dining set, tv etc.

The grandkids get a kick out of going to Gramma and Grampa's apartment as well as house in Tucson, and we love being able to spend time in both places, too. So, so far it is working out fine.

 

[yoopermom]

I have done this in the past, and probably will again in the future. DH stays at our house "in the country" with our dogs, and I rent the smallest apartment I can find in the town/city I have a teaching contract in. I go home on most weekends/vacations/summer, and he tries to come up and see me once during the week. It actually works out well for us, as long as I can find a second place cheap enough.

Terri

 

[shamrock30]

Glad to hear it's working out okay for many of you!

 

[scrapquitler]

We do. We own a vacation home about 2 hours away, in another state. I work very part time and homeschool one of our children. The other one is in high school. DH works a telecommute job that he can do anywhere as long as he has wifi and a phone. We spend very single weekend and school vacation week there. We spend almost all of the summer there. About one week a month our homeschooled child and I spend a full week there as well. Sometimes DH will go and spend part or all of the week there some can work without interruption. In all, I am probably there close to 50% of the time.

It's definitely different....most of my friends here at our "regular" home don't understand it, but our vacation home is in a resort area, so people there don't think it's that strange. We like it, and hope to sell our primary home within a few years and move to our vacation home permanently.

 

[Tinaphpc]

Good point about the bills.