Spin-off… Thanking a Veteran

[bcla]

@DLgal Fair question. Both my daughter and I are both Army and based on our jobs have traveled in ACU's and needed to be in uniform. Certainly not for attention. LOL And, yes wearing uniforms "just because" is certainly frowned upon. Totally get what you're saying.

You mention harassment. Girl, please....a few words in the airport is nothing. My skin is a lot thicker than that. Was just giving an example as someone who is a Veteran and what my thoughts are on giving us the "thanks for your service" line, etc.

I've seen that quite a bit. Often it seems like there isn't much time. A couple of days ago I saw someone in a US Army uniform with her kids. It seemed a little bit odd, but it could have been for any number of reasons.

I used to spend a lot of time near the former Oakland Army Base near the Port of Oakland, and when they let out many of the nearby restaurants were packed with them in their camo uniforms. It was well over 150 at one time. I didn't quite get it, but it seemed that they were all allowed out at the same time and for one reason or another came out in uniform.

I had a bit of experience with classmates who were in the service in some capacity. One guy as an undergraduate was Air Force ROTC, and he always showed up in his ROTC uniform with cover. I asked about it and he said that he was required to wear his uniform one day a week, including to class. The next year he was no longer wearing his uniform at all and he said that he had withdrawn (I guess he had to pay for his education). Another grad school classmate was a commissioned officer working at Onizuka Air Base and he was taking classes to get a masters degree. He wore his uniform to class and he said he was required to as long as the Pentagon paid for it. But he was taking one class where he dressed in civilian clothes and when asked he said he was paying for that class on his own and he wouldn't even be allowed to wear his uniform at all.

 

[DLgal]

There are definitely some that feel that sense of entitlement, and I am meaning the family members, not the service people themselves.

They don't get paid a lot, but if you take into consideration all of the free and cheap stuff that they get that the rest of us have to pay for, they do just fine.

To your first point, absolutely true. There is even a nickname for spouses who behave like that. There are absolutely people who seek out servicemembers to marry and carry their rank as if THEY are the servicemenber. It's gross behavior.

To your second point, just a reminder that servicemembers pay taxes too.

 

[C&Jx2]

There are definitely some that feel that sense of entitlement, and I am meaning the family members, not the service people themselves. The last place that I worked, we had a mother and her military son come in and she asked if we give military discounts, we did not. She went off on a tirade about how we don't appreciate service members, yada yada yada. I just work here lady and I don't make the rules. That was not the first time someone asked about military discounts and when told "no", gave us a dirty look. I think that it happens more then you think it does. The military can be a great thing for many people. My BIL is a good example of that. He did OK in HS, but was a bit of a trouble maker and had no direction. He joined the marines and his experience and training got him a really good job when he got out. He and his wife have 3 kids. They lived for free on base, free medical and dental, and cheap groceries from the store on base. They don't get paid a lot, but if you take into consideration all of the free and cheap stuff that they get that the rest of us have to pay for, they do just fine.

K.

 

[C&Jx2]

To your first point, absolutely true. There is even a nickname for spouses who behave like that. There are absolutely people who seek out servicemembers to marry and carry their rank as if THEY are the servicemenber. It's gross behavior.

To your second point, just a reminder that servicemembers pay taxes too.

Tag chasers, dependas… Those are the friendly ones.

 

[John VN]

Every service member has their own feelings on this. My dh (who served for 29 years) would never be rude if you told him TYFYS, and will always respond "you're welcome," but honestly doesn't care for it. He doesn't want to get noticed. I remember years ago we were at Sea World and they asked military members to stand up, he looked at me with that "no way" look and he wouldn't stand. He just was doing his job..........................Don't forget, as PP's have mentioned, this wasn't always a custom. Vietnam Veterans were treated horribly and very large portion of those young soldiers didn't even chose to go, they were drafted.......................................

Son signed up while in H.S. Said it was his choice and it was a job and never felt that he served like those who years before were drafted.

Honest question, and I truly don't mean any disrespect, just wondering. Why do you/your daughter wear the uniform when traveling on orders? My husband has never, ever done this, even when he literally flew to the war in Afghanistan in 2013 via a commercial airline from D.C. (he caught a military connection later in the journey). It is not a requirement to wear the uniform when traveling on orders and my husband always side eyes people who do that, because it *seems* like attention seeking (to HIM). He is a Marine and they have always been told to be low key while in public. Identifying yourself as a US servicemember can be similar to having a target on your back in many countries. And as you experienced, it can open you up to harassment. Marines never wear their uniforms in public like that (not even to pump gas off base) and I wonder if maybe there are different guidelines for the other branches?

Son's Orders were that he had to travel in civies at ALL TIMES. He retired last year after 24 years from Private to WO4.

 

[DLgal]

Son signed up while in H.S. Said it was his choice and it was a job and never felt that he served like those who years before were drafted.



Son's Orders were that he had to travel in civies at ALL TIMES. He retired last year after 24 years from Private to WO4.

Yeah, my husband enlisted at age 17 right after HS graduation. His dad was a vietnam vet. He enlisted because he always felt a calling to serve, maybe as a son in a long line of family members who also served, all by choice, and to this day, he just says "it's just my job, I don't deserve thanks for it. I joined willingly."

I asked my husband about the uniform wearing for travel and his response was "the Joint Travel Regulations do not specify that uniforms need to be worn for any type of travel. There is no overarching rule, but some commands might require it, I guess. I've never been ordered to travel in uniform while using a civilian aircraft." He's a USMC 0-5 who has traveled on orders a LOT.

There is a USMC rule that prohibits the wearing of cammies off base, as of 2007. It was frowned upon prior to being made an actual rule.

 

[Lilsia]

You have a very skewed perspective of the benefits. 1. People who live on base give up their housing allowance. It’s not free. 2. They get free medical most of the time, but family members don’t get free dental. 3. Commissary shopping isn’t necessarily cheaper. Some things are, but on average, a trip to Walmart likely is about the same.
His training and experience got him a great job on the outside? Like those years of experience are a gift he got from Uncle Sam? He earned those skills. Geez. Let’s put it in another perspective. Military people move every few years. That means no chance to build equity in a home. That means the kids are uprooted from their friends and schools. That means most spouses cannot get/maintain traction in their own careers. That means friendships often are transitory or fractured. That means frequent separations as the service member is deployed or sent to a remote assignment where families can’t go. That means missing significant family milestones like birthdays, anniversaries , etc. A lot of junior enlisted soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines qualify for food stamps. You seem to think it’s an easy-peasy government-sponsored joyride. It’s not. Military service, while often rewarding in many ways, is also tough, often dangerous.
I’m not saying people owe servicemembers anything, but don’t demean what they do for you. It’s not a crime to ask for a discount, though people who act as you describe are despicable. And it’s not necessarily bad to thank a veteran or service member. Just know, like anyone else, each one has their own POV about it. I’m a veteran. I am really uncomfortable when strangers do that to me (which is incredibly rare as I don’t wear identifying clothing). I’m also an extreme introvert so there’s that. If someone does thank me, I’m polite but I just don’t care for it.

I was not demeaning anyone. And yes, plenty of people make the military life work for them just fine. It is not like they are destitute. For my BIL, and many others like him, he never would have amounted to much without what the military gave him and made him into. How is that demeaning? He would have went from crap job to crap job and they would have had a much harder life if he had not been in the military. You underestimate how big of a benefit housing and insurance really is. Many can not afford insurance on the "outside", let alone being able to buy a house for the equity. I don't know why you are upset. No one is drafted, they chose to go into it for whatever reason. Things are hard for a lot of people. With the military, at least you know that you will have a roof over your head and be taken care of if you get sick. And before you think that I have no idea about the military, besides my BIL, my uncle was in the Army/National guard. 2 cousins went to Westpoint, 2 of their children went to Westpoint, and my cousin is a major general. They all are doing great.