Special Needs Adoption Shower

[jacobsmom]

A friend of mine is adopting a 7 year old with severe disabilities. He was taken from his birth parents and has been taken care of by nuns since he was a baby. I don't know what all his disabilities are or the technical terms for them. Until this past summer he was non verbal and in a wheel chair. Now he can walk wearing a helmet and someone lightly holding on to him for stability and control. This little boy's first word was "Mom"---to the woman who is adopting him. He's basically coming with the clothes on his back (which happen to be sweat pants, sweatshirt). My Mom and I will be throwing a shower for the two but I really need ideas--for wording, what to do, gifts, food everything! They won't have the basics and will need: Clothes, school supplies, care items (soap, diapers, wipes), emergency items (first aid, thermometer, bandages)., toys, bedroom stuff... I really need some suggestions here. I know he loves music toys and functions roughly at a toddler level. Please help!

 

[alizesmom]

If I were the new mom, I would want:
Lots of easy to put on clothes
Toddler type toys (appropriate to mental age)
A sturdy backpack for school
A bed that would prevent him from falling/crawling out at night
A video monitor
A cerificate offering mom some time off by herself with you babysitting
A good carseat for his size
Someone doing the research for me into what services my son qualifies for

How's that for starters?

 

[jacobsmom]

Great Start!!! I love those ideas! You are right, getting a babysitter is really difficult when you have a child with special needs. (DS8 had a stroke while I was pregnant that affected his cerebellum & was born blind. Due to surgery he has an artificial cornea and can see in one eye.) It takes someone special to be trusted to take care of my son so I'm sure that will be true with her too!

 

[Snoopymom]

I can't think of any more great gift ideas but depending on the type of person she is...you could throw her a kid themed shower like my mom and sis did for me when I adopted ds....

toy buckets for the pasta salad and "worm dirt" desert

a toy wagon for the rolls

little toy dump trucks for the condiments

a colorful airplane pinata for decoration over the table and everything was arranged on a racetrack table cloth

those little windmill things with a poem tied to it for favors. (You could try the Peas Soup section of twopeasinabucket.com)

there were m&m's, ants on a log, rice crispy squares

I absolutely loved it!

Oh, and my mom and sister registered for me at Target, towels (with ducks on them , sheets, and clothes are what I needed the most. Everyone appreciated having a registry to go by.

 

[zumbergc]

She may want to even register for any specialty items they may need to purchase. I don't know how you would register for medical equipment. Someone mentioned a bed, so the child can't escape at night, and someone mentioned him just starting to walk.

So, would they need any special equipment for the bathroom. Something to help w/ the toilet, or for showering/bathing. Does the house need any other modifying to help make it safe and easy for him to get around.
Would railings in the hallways, or extra safety bars in the shower. Do they need a ramp into the house? Being 7, depending on how big he is, could be starting to hit the age where its harder for mom to carry up the steps into the house.

Now thinking, while I'm writing this, anything special for helping mom get the child into/out of the car so mom doesn't hurt her back, and safety seat for boy.

Would any type of special stroller/wheel chair/ or walker be needed too?

Do they have a theme for the child's new room? Just by picking a theme, could help people pick out items, same if there is a theme for the bathroom.

Its wonderful your helping out.
Connie

 

[jkCT]

Gift cards/gift certificates are never a bad idea. (grocery store, Walmart or Target type stores, etc.) There are a lot of financial strains that come with welcoming a new child into your family.

 

[disneyobessed]

I have a child with is 8 and is just starting to walk... A huge thing for the bathroom is handrails in the tub and around the toilet.. you can get them at Home Depot... Alot of things insurance my cover.. .like the car seat.. my son has a special car seat that was $700 (darn companies raise the price on everything knowing some insrances cover them)that he can sit in until he reaches about 100lbs...

bed rails.. not sure if anyone mentioned them are essential.. and adaptive bike.. (my son has a tricycle one.. it runs about $200) from any adaptive PE stores..online. Good Luck.. congrats. to your friends.. that is awsome.

 

[jacobsmom]

Just talked with this Mom-to-be... she is so overwhelmed by how much "stuff" he'll need. We have scheduled the shower and plan on inviting people from church, family friends of theirs, as well as coworkers of hers from the school. The little boys favorite color is red so I want to tie that in and he LOVES music so I want to decorate with instruments etc. She is working on creating lists of things she needs (ex: bedding, towels, diapers, wipes, everything). My Mom will be helping me make cinnamon rolls, quiche, fruit salads, etc.

 

[Omma]

My sister does the following for anyone who is welcoming a new child into their family. I thought it was strange at first but have since decided it is a great idea!

She calls and asks when she can have their vehicle for a couple of hours. She takes it and has it completely cleaned - inside & out. Then she adds any organizational things (like a trash can, toy organizer for the kids, etc.) that she sees they could use. Then she returns it all clean & fancy for them to bring their new child home in.

 

[mechurchlady]

you know me and food, lol.

I have seen in the media how people make ahead meals for their family. I was wonder if it would be possible to make her some premade dinners frozen so that she could just nuke a meal when she is worn out. I eat out a lot because at times caring for my Mom takes up the last of my energy and I just cannot get to the cooking.

How about a ladies day in the store. The list is a good idea. I was thinking that some friends could take her to the store and get things and help with the shopping.

Don't forget the child proofing stuff like plug covers and door locks or maybe a locked place for cleaning supples. Make sure the home is kid proof like plants, cleaning supplies, rugs, and furniture that a toddler might accidently cause to hit the ground. In my house I would have to attach to the wall the bookcase as it is not toddler proof, televison used to be on a cart that could tip, and coffee table we had years ago had sharp corners. My house had a floor furnace which for a toddler might be dangerous.