Speaking of disciplining other people's kids...WWYD?

[SDFgirl]

The other thread got me to remembering an incident that occured at Epcot last year.

I was at the Germany World Pavilion - in the miniature train section. To my shock, a boy had climbed OVER the railing and was prancing around in the train display. Then he picked up one of the miniature trains and held it over his head, laughing to some friends of his who were obviously nearby. He looked to be about 11 or 12. You could tell he thought he was a big shot.

I watched him for about a minute and it was clear no adults were going to stop him. So the TEACHER came out in me and I said (in my "teacher" voice)..."You get out of there THIS. VERY. INSTANT." He quickly climbed out and I asked him, "Do you think you're setting a good example for the little kids around here?"

To give this boy credit, he was very polite and said, "No, ma'am. I'm sorry." I said, "Think it over next time, please." and we parted ways.

I'm generally against disiplining other's kids, but in this case, nobody was around to do it. I didn't see any cast members nearby, either. What would you have done?

 

[jaminmd]

The other thread got me to remembering an incident that occured at Epcot last year.

I was at the Germany World Pavilion - in the miniature train section. To my shock, a boy had climbed OVER the railing and was prancing around in the train display. Then he picked up one of the miniature trains and held it over his head, laughing to some friends of his who were obviously nearby. He looked to be about 11 or 12. You could tell he thought he was a big shot.

I watched him for about a minute and it was clear no adults were going to stop him. So the TEACHER came out in me and I said (in my "teacher" voice)..."You get out of there THIS. VERY. INSTANT." He quickly climbed out and I asked him, "Do you think you're setting a good example for the little kids around here?"

To give this boy credit, he was very polite and said, "No, ma'am. I'm sorry." I said, "Think it over next time, please." and we parted ways.

I'm generally against disiplining other's kids, but in this case, nobody was around to do it. I didn't see any cast members nearby, either. What would you have done?

I would have spoken up too, probably with a "Are you SUPPOSED to be in there?" or something to that effect.

For those who don't like their kids being reprimanded by someone else, how do you justify/explain this type of behavior?

 

[ckay87]

If I feel I have to say something to another person's kid...and I rarely do...I tone it down a lot. I try to remember that being corrected by an adult he is not familiar with is usually pretty horrifying for a kid.

I am still livid from an incident at my house during a cookout last weekend where a first-time visitor to my home absolutely screamed at my best friend's children, making them cry. She is now a last-time visitor as well. She should have remembered her "place" in the social order of the occasion, you know? Can you tell I'm still mad?

Sounds like you handled it well, using grown up logic on him. Even children who appear to be badly behaved will usually have a conscience and respond to that kind of reasoning.

 

[Ember]

When I was in school I worked at a coffee cafe. Every now and then there would be parents who thought it was cute to have their little darlings come behind the counter to run around. That or they figured it was fine to let them run around the cafe itself, despite the fact that we were very busy and there were people carrying cups of very hot liquid everywhere.

To these kids I would say in my nicest sing-song voice, directly in front of their parents, "I'm sorry, you can't run around in here (or be behind the counter) because there are a lot of people with very hot drinks and your mummy will be very upset when someone trips over you and you need to be rushed to the hospital to treat the burns."

I'm willing to put up with a lot before I speak up, but this used to infuriate me. We had an incident that happened just like that, where a little one (two or three) was running loose and someone didn't see them and spilled VERY hot tea on them. The mother then yelled at the workers behind the counter for making such hot drinks and not watching her kid.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I only speak up if It's a safety issue. otherwise I just roll my eyes.

 

[Metsfan520]

I only speak up if It's a safety issue. otherwise I just roll my eyes.

Me too.

 

[pixiewings71]

I only speak up if It's a safety issue. otherwise I just roll my eyes.

Me three

 

[ChrizJen]

If a child is misbehaving and there is no adult in sight, you can bet your bootie I'll say something. Otherwise, I'll only step in if a child is in danger of being hurt and his/her parent doesn't seem to care.

 

[VAN]

You're my hero!!!

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

I wouldn't hesitate to start with a polite reprimand and see how the kid responds - "Son, you are not supposed to be in there." If he's blatantly disrespectful, I'll let someone in a position of authority deal with him and his attitude, like a CM in the OP's example.

If he's putting himself or others in danger, I'd speak to him just as I would one of my own boys... in that "Mommy means business now" tone.

And if my kids are around I'll also be sure to point it out to them as behavior that we don't do. Unless we want to get in trouble.

 

[Camicar]

Last week I was at the DMV and a teenager was taking her learner's permit written test. She had a toddler with her, along with the grandmother, who was supposed to be watching the toddler. Her idea of watching the toddler was to allow him to run all over the place, climb on the mother (taking her test) and run behind the DMV counter multiple times.

I finally said to the woman next to me, "I think it's time for the toddler to run off that energy OUTSIDE."

My attitude is that if you have no sense of boundaries, then you cannot take umbrage if I tell you how to behave.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I expect I would also have pulled out my teacher look and reminded him that little kids were watching him.

 

[laurie31]

I thought you handled it perfectly. You didn't yell at the child or belittle him, just told him in no uncertain terms that what he was doing was wrong. It's clear he KNEW it was wrong from his response. Hopefully he learned that he needs to behave properly and follow the rules even if Mom and Dad aren't staring at him at the moment.

 

[NHdisneylover]

It sounds to me like you did a great job This was not a prent handlig it diferently, this was a parent not being around and a child who needed to be reminde of the rules (and from his respose to you it sounds like mo and dad would have not tolerated the behaviour had they been there). What you did is what I think the "it takes a village" concept can be patially about.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I would have done the same as you, and I generally don't believe in disciplining other people's kids, either.

I did use my teacher voice the other day, though. I was driving down the street and two little boys were standing at the side of the road throwing something at cars. They threw it at my car and I slowed down and stopped for a minute and they looked kind of scared, so I drove on thinking maybe they learned their lesson.

After I picked up my son, we drove back down the street and they were still there throwing things at cars (or they could have been acting like they were throwing something, as I never heard it hit any car, including mine). I slowed down, rolled down my window, looked at them and said, "STOP!" They looked terrified and took off running into their house. Serves the little boogers right.

 

[KAMKIM]

It really depends on the situation, if it doesn't directly affect me or my kids and no one is in danger I dont say anything....not my place. However, if I'm the only adult there to address it and someone will likely get hurt I will speak up in a nice way...."You really shouldn't be doing that..." I'd hate for another kid to get hurt because I was afraid to say anything. As a mom, if my kid was doing something dangerous and I didn't catch it I'd want someone to save them from themselves...ya know?

I do not cross boundaries if the parent is present though.

 

[yoopermom]

This thread makes me chuckle, because I'm a teacher who comes from a family of teachers, and we call each other on it all the time when we're together in public, "Ooooh, you just used your TEACHER voice on that kid!"

Feel free to use your teacher voice on MY kid if you ever see him misbehavin'

Terri

 

[Buckalew11]

I have a teacher voice and I'm not even a teacher.

It is always so awkward--I really wish parents would discipline their children (more, often, better).

I've had "mom" in my chair and their little darling tearing my shop down around us with her saying nothing. I often turn the chair around so she can see them and look at the child and say, "You know, I can let mommy out of this chair anytime she needs to get up." Often both mom and child get the message. Because if mom doesn't do something, I'm going to have to.
Often, if mom is in the hair chair or is on the phone, children think they have free roam and can do whatever. And sometimes I think mom think as soon as they sit in the hair chair they're off duty. lol That'd be fine if they'd say, "You take ove now, ok?" Gladly! haha

 

[Feralpeg]

Normally, I would not say anything. I would look for a CM to take care of the situation. I did, however, get involved a couple of years ago.

A little kid at DTD was trying to stomp on a little lizard. Of course, the lizards are fast and the kid missed. I told him, nicely, please don't do that. He just looked at me and went after it again. The poor lizard was a long way from cover. The second time, I wasn't as nice. I told him that he was not to do that and that the lizard had feelings too. He just kept staring at me, sort of looking for his opportunity. The third time he tried, I stepped into his space between him and the lizard and very loudly told him no. By this time, other people were looking. Other adults started telling the kid he shouldn't try to hurt it. One lady sort of started herding the lizard to safety while I had the kid cornered. The funny thing, the parents were sitting there the entire time. When the lizard had finally reached safety and I started to move on, the kid went running to a couple sitting a little way off. They had seen the entire thing and did nothing.

You can push me a long way, but DON"T MESS WITH THE LIZARDS!

 

[Inigo]

I use my teacher/probation officer voice a lot. If I see children misbehaving and they aren't being supervised, I will call them on it. I even do it if there are parents around if those parents are failing to supervise their children. (Want my opinion of parents who allow their children to use wheelies in public?)

I would expect others to call out my children if my children misbehaved in public. The kids are 18 and 22 now, so it's now a moot point.