Sons 13th bday this weekend- would this irritate you? (NOT rsvp related)

[The Mystery Machine]

No it would not annoy me however I would serve food. So I agree with your mom.

 

[golfgal]

I'm having it earlier for the sake of my still napping 2 year old niece.

I agree with all of you- it's not a big deal. I just hope I don't have to serve!

So, you accommodated the niece but not everyone else?

No it would not annoy me however I would serve food. So I agree with your mom.

I guess I am with you on this. I would have planned the party at noon vs 1:00 if I was serving food or at 2:00 if I did not want to serve lunch. 1:00 with travel time is just too close to lunch, then you get the "are we having lunch or not question" so some will eat, others won't. 1:00 is just a confusing time for a party, I think.

Now, since she is offering to bring food, I wouldn't think twice about it again. I would ALWAYS rather have too much food then not enough.

 

[C.Ann]

Well, yes, it would annoy me. But she has a point. It is borderline lunchtime for most people. I'd be fine because I'm an early bird and usually have lunch at 11:30, but most people don't. Then if there's any length of a drive to your home...

Christine brings up a very good point. While I would be annoyed that my mom superseded my decision, if the party is at 1pm, people would likely need to leave their homes around 12:30pm, get ready before then, etc. I don't know if anyone has any other commitments that morning or whatever, but it basically means eating lunch before noon to be there on time and a lot of people don't do that. I know if I had an invite for a 1pm party I would assume there would be something more than chips and dip.

I would probably be a bit annoyed, but I agree with the posts above..

If I had no plans of serving anything more substantial than what you have listed, I would have scheduled the party for 2 p.m..

Hope it all turns out well anyhow..

 

[a1tinkfans]

Well, yes, it would annoy me. But she has a point. It is borderline lunchtime for most people. I'd be fine because I'm an early bird and usually have lunch at 11:30, but most people don't. Then if there's any length of a drive to your home...

I happen to agree, its similar to having a party at 6pm and not serving food for dinner, but thats just me...I'd have food for sure.... sorry

 

[Mommy2cody]

I agree that it is rude of her to bring food. But 1 is lunch time still! Plus with people needing to drive to be there by 1, food should be served.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

To me--1pm is cutting it close.

My family eats lunch about 11/11:30, but many I know don't eat lunch until 12/12:30 cutting it awful close to your 1pm party start time.

JMHO.


If she wants to bring extra food, no harm no foul. Sometimes people no matter what you say, cannot come to a party empty handed. It's annoying regardless of what the menu is unless it is potluck.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Wow, I cannot believe the number of people offended by someone bringing food.

I could care less.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wow, I cannot believe the number of people offended by someone bringing food.

I could care less.

I guess it depends on the situation.

We should never refuse hospitality--but some people's actions have less to do with being hospitable and more to do with judgement that the host/hostess is an idiot.

Back story makes all the difference in the world.

I've had my dad and step-mom come in my home for a gathering, be displeased with something and then leave and later come back for the actual event with the "appropriate" thing-a-ma-bob dish/beverage/ingredient. It had nothign to do with them wanting to be nice and everything to do with them being hoity toity and "corrective". I would guess that OP feels this way about the sandwiches and I wouldn't blame her if that is the case.

 

[PixieTopaz]

Christine brings up a very good point. While I would be annoyed that my mom superseded my decision, if the party is at 1pm, people would likely need to leave their homes around 12:30pm, get ready before then, etc.

I don't know if anyone has any other commitments that morning or whatever, but it basically means eating lunch before noon to be there on time and a lot of people don't do that. I know if I had an invite for a 1pm party I would assume there would be something more than chips and dip.

I agree-who would want chips and munchies an hour after forced to eat a very early lunch?
You should have lunch-or push back the time of the party.

 

[OceanAnnie]

No, it wouldn't. I'd expect those closest to me to be able to set me straight if I'm off course.

She said it nicely, it seems. And she's got a point. At least she's bringing the sandwiches.

My mother would have said it in a much different tone. "What are you, NUTS? You HAVE to serve lunch!!" And then I would have had to make the sandwiches myself. (I'm sure she would have offered to do her infamous potato salad, but still.)

Yep. I agree with it all. Actually, I'd be pretty happy if my mom brought the sandwiches. I'd tell her to knock herself out!

 

[Ciao Mickey]

We are having a family party at 1pm on Saturday- just family. My sons Aunt and Uncle, 3 cousins- grandparents and my Aunts and Uncles (17 people including us). My Mom asked me what we were having for lunch- I told her I was not serving lunch- there would be chips/veggies with dip, my special cheese spread and crackers, sodas, juices- and of course cake and ice cream and coffee.

She told me that it was "too close" to lunch not to serve it so she is bringing sandwiches. I told everyone we would serve munchies and cake and ice cream. I'm annoyed. It's not a big deal and I'm not making it a big deal, but it just irritates me that what I planned was not sufficient for her and she's just going right ahead and doing what she wants. My husband is quite annoyed and said "Why can't she just keep her nose out of it." but he wont' say anything either.

Would it annoy you or not?

Why should it annoy you? Your mother is right.

If I was invited to a party at one o'clock, I would expect to be served lunch. (Lunch for most people falls between 11:30 a.m. and 2 p.m.)

How do you invite people over and expect not to have to feed them?

If you wanted to serve only cake and snacks, then maybe you should move the party to a later time, like maybe 7:30 p.m. so people wouldn't expect to be fed a meal.

Don't forget to thank Mom for supplying the sandwiches.

 

[Mermaid02]

Why should it annoy you? Your mother is right.

If I was invited to a party at one o'clock, I would expect to be served lunch. (Lunch for most people falls between 11:30 a.m. and 2 p.m.)

How do you invite people over and expect not to have to feed them?

If you wanted to serve only cake and snacks, then maybe you should move the party to a later time, like maybe 7:30 p.m. so people wouldn't expect to be fed a meal.

Don't forget to thank Mom for supplying the sandwiches.

Every function my family has is completely about the food (and we all look like it!)- my husbands family plans more like what I was planning, let folks know it would be munchies only, they would have a light lunch and then come along. The relatives my Mom is "worried" about are elderly, they get up at 0'dark-thirty and probably will actually eat lunch around 11:00. I think it is bothering her that I am throwing a party based on my inlaws "party planning" techniques.

My elderly relatives don't drive after dark so having an evening party is out of the question. And my 2 year old niece would be toast by then.

My Mom will bring the sandwiches and if anyone is so inclined they will eat them. I am still annoyed that I am 42 years old, planned a party, told the guests what the menu would be and my Mommy changed the game plan. I am used to it though- she's rather a buttinsky, but like I said before, she would do ANYTHING for me so this will NOT cause any problems. I'll smile all the way through it- and if even one person has a sandwich, I will be really glad she brought them!

 

[aprilgail2]

Why should it annoy you? Your mother is right.

If I was invited to a party at one o'clock, I would expect to be served lunch. (Lunch for most people falls between 11:30 a.m. and 2 p.m.)

How do you invite people over and expect not to have to feed them?

If you wanted to serve only cake and snacks, then maybe you should move the party to a later time, like maybe 7:30 p.m. so people wouldn't expect to be fed a meal.

Don't forget to thank Mom for supplying the sandwiches.

I totally agree! To have a party at 1pm and not serve lunch is nuts!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I can understand your annoyance. It was your party not hers. That being said imo you should have prepared a meal at that time of day. Of course I serve a meal no matter what time of day.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I guess it depends on the situation.

We should never refuse hospitality--but some people's actions have less to do with being hospitable and more to do with judgement that the host/hostess is an idiot.

Back story makes all the difference in the world.

I've had my dad and step-mom come in my home for a gathering, be displeased with something and then leave and later come back for the actual event with the "appropriate" thing-a-ma-bob dish/beverage/ingredient. It had nothign to do with them wanting to be nice and everything to do with them being hoity toity and "corrective". I would guess that OP feels this way about the sandwiches and I wouldn't blame her if that is the case.

Stuff like that doesn't bother me. I look at it as more about them then me. It is a very freeing way to live. I don't live in the past.

I would just look at your dad and stepmom and insecure and then not give it a second thought.

 

[MAKmom]

At 1:00 how can you get around not serving a meal to 17 people? I'm with your mother she knows it would be wrong. People are going to be hungry.

You would have to say "I do not want to serve you lunch so eat before you get here" to make it clear.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

At 1:00 how can you get around not serving a meal to 17 people? I'm with your mother she knows it would be wrong. People are going to be hungry.

You would have to say "I do not want to serve you lunch so eat before you get here" to make it clear.

I think the OP did let people know.

 

[PatsGirl]

We should never refuse hospitality--but some people's actions have less to do with being hospitable and more to do with judgement that the host/hostess is an idiot.

B

Sure sounds like someone wasn't happy with OP's plans for the birthday party and decided to take matters in her own hands. FWIW, yes, I'd be annoyed but I'd let it go. And since when do guests get to decide whether a meal is necessary? While I might have made the party later if lunch wasn't being served, I could also eat a late weekend morning breakfast and be fine with the snacks and cake at 1...

 

[OceanAnnie]

Sure sounds like someone wasn't happy with OP's plans for the birthday party and decided to take matters in her own hands. FWIW, yes, I'd be annoyed but I'd let it go. And since when do guests get to decide whether a meal is necessary? While I might have made the party later if lunch wasn't being served, I could also eat a late weekend morning breakfast and be fine with the snacks and cake at 1...

Well I have a soft spot for my mom. If she wants to bring sandwiches or drinks with umbrellas in them, so be it. Now if it was some random guest, I might think differently.

 

[Carly_Roach]

When DH & I first married my in-laws would bring $100's of groceries when they visited & I was insulted thinking that they didn't like the kind of food that I bought. Then one day she called and asked if it would be okay if we went together to the store to buy the groceries that she didn't have time to stop on the way. I said "oh don't feel that you need to do that I can go to the store and have plenty to eat" She then told me that they didn't want to insult us by giving us cash, they wanted to support us but thought that the groceries would free up cash for us to go on a date or something special......wish I had known that upfront...I still feel guilty for being pouty and ungreatful for those first few years...

Being a woman is so hard...trying to fill the shoes of our mothers, MIL and Sisters...it's a wonder we don't all go postal sometimes.

LOL!! People who know me know that I don't take hints very well. If someone brought me groceries, I'd be thinking how nice it was of them to help us out with our food budget rather than a statement about how I don't serve anything they like. If someone brought me perfume, I'd be thinking it was a gift rather than a statement that I stink.

Sometimes being autistic is a good thing! I'd never be able to navigate all the silly social rules people make about what we should be reading into other people's remarks or actions. I take things at face value and, more often than not, put a positive spin on it.

So if you think my cooking is bad, then either tell me how you like it (and I'll make it that way for you) or don't eat it. If I stink, pull me aside and be nice about telling me. If I ask for suggestions about how to improve that (because really, I don't intentionally want to offend people I like), please offer constructive suggestions.

Personally, I think 1:00 on a Saturday is lunch time. Especially if we had to drive any distance to the function.