Something I just don't get......

[#1 Pocahontas]

My children have to ask for snacks. Like someone else wrote, it just carried on from when they couldn't do it themselves. Well, my youngest still can't. it may change a bit when they are older. But for now I want to know what they are having.

I'll let them have fruit whenever they ask for it.

We also throw out holiday candy. I think Halloween candy multiplies in it's bowl. We just can't eat it all, let alone just my kids. I have put Halloween candy in my daughter's advent calendar for the past 3 years just to try to get rid of it! Then I throw out the rest. Of course, you'd never see a reeces peanut butter cup or a snickers make it to the advent calendar. LOL

 

[LisaNJ25]

I have never made my kids ask for permission for anything from the kitchen. With 4 kids in the house that would get nuts.. My 3yo can open the fridge and get a cheese stick if she wants. I don't tend to buy much junk food do they are usually getting a drink or fruit.

 

[Mandychelle79]

We play it by ear. Most times the kiddos have pretty much open access to snack foods( yes at 4 and 2) but they are more likely to eat a banana than a cookie. Neither of them really like candy, we dont normally have chips in the house so its either the cookies that they can reach ( and then usually bring the package to an adult) or fruit that they snack on. However today my dd poured her self a bowl of cereal and milk as a snack when she got home from school. I thought it was pretty cool that she was able to do that on her own.
r.

 

[tonilea]

I didn't read all the responses, but that is exactly what my parents did and I will have a similar policy.

One reason is it is a PITA to get ready to make something (Cashew Chicken) and SOMEONE has eaten all the cashews. KWIM?

 

[taximomfor4]

Sorry- perhaps I misread what you wrote- I thought you meant you had Halloween/Easter candy and the kids could take without asking and you STILL had some left over! Us- we only end up with the gross stuff left over and that's just because we DO allow them free reign over their candy during those holidays

We DO leave it out, and have some left over. They ask if they can take some, I say Yes (unless it's dinnertime, then I say After Dinner). They take one or 2 pieces, and that's it. Doesn't even happen every day. If it became a problem, I would put it up or say "no" more often. As it is, they for whatever reason self-moderate at this point. Obviously, this is subject to change in the future (teen years??)

Oh, they DO eat more candy the first day or 2...gotta get all their favorites eaten because -----------------------after the second day, I combine everyone's candy into one basket/bucket! That bucket lives on the counter, and the kids can have candy whenever...but they do still ask first. I kind of like them asking first, because that way I am somewhat aware of who eats what, and how much of it. That's what I meant by monitoring, just "being aware."

I don't think either way is wrong or right. Parents decide based on what fits their beliefs, lifestyles, and children!!!!

Beth

 

[squirrlygirl]

Because I'm the mom and it's my job to ensure they are eating healthy. I do not for one minute believe my young kids will inherently make the right choices. They can't do this until they've been taught what those choices are and are mature enough to follow through. And I agree with a PP-what if that food is for a recipe?
DS (11) has been given free reign to choose outside of home whether or not to eat something. He still has to ask at home if he can have a snack, and if it's not "snack" food (like maybe the green pepper in the crisper) he has to ask if his choice is okay or if it's needed for something. Heck, even my husband does this (the ask if it's needed thing not the can I have part lol) When DS gets a bit older, I won't make him ask before he has the snack, because he will have learned (if I did my job right ) what is proper and what isn't, what time is appropriate/when isn't. Right now he still doesn't make healthy choices when left on his own, so we'll continue at this half-point for now.
Water can be gotten at any time by any child (baby excepted for obvious reasons) Kids are given free reign on Halloween candy, but my 2 middle ones always choose to trade it in for a trip to the toy store (last year the L&D nurses had a blast eating the loot )

 

[disykat]

I had never heard of anyone NOT monitoring their children's food intake until I had a neighbor whose kids ate constantly. It's just part of being a mom IMO.

My neighbor would sit and watch her 3 year old help himself to soda from the fridge and say "I wish he wouldn't do that all the time." It didn't occur to her to stop him. I knew this gal well and she had a lot of frustration that her kids were out of control, but she didn't like to set any limits on them.

While I can certainly see having certain foods designated as available anytime, and giving kids more leeway as they get older, but I can't see just letting your kids have free reign to make all their own food choices from the time they can toddle.

Halloween candy is a different story. Most moms I know let their kids have at it because they don't want it in the house.

 

[Creekermom]

We have free rein here BUT I have healthy snacks that are readily available all the time. Other things have to be asked for, such as sweet things etc.. I am trying to promote a healthy lifestyle as I have had some health issues.

I just want my DD to be educated and to make wise decisions concerning her health. Everything in moderation.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Please everyone play nice. We all have different parenting styles and do what works for us and our families.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I personally can understand the monitoring what the kids eat, but on other threads it just seemed like some (not all) truly were like the kitchen police. You know- only so many apple slices allowed etc. I was just curious as to the reasons for things like that. I understand budget and spoiled appetites but I guess for me, if it is a budget thing, I would rather cut costs in other places. Like I have previously stated, I don't think any one way is right or wrong, I just don't understand the reasoning behind some of it. KWIM?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My children are 7 and 4--if I don't know they are going in the fridge, they might be in there with the door wide open for 20 minutes.

They don't know when their next meal will be...I tend to cook pretty quickly and we don't eat at the same time every day.

We have all sorts of healthy snacks. But just b/c it is "healthy"--doesn't mean it can be a free for all. My main thing is that my kids must have variety. At most I will allow a second serving of something, but if the are still hungry--they need to eat something else.

If they are hungry, I let them eat. But at their age---yes they still need to ask permission or at least let me know they are planning to eat something. I call it parenting..not policing.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

I must have missed that thread, but in the end- if the kids' doctors' think they are healthy- who cares if their parents are 'kitchen police'? Frankly, nothing peeves me more (well, okay- some things do) then thinking of a great dinner I can cook only to realize the ingredients were chowed down upon just hours before I went to make dinner. That's just me though

 

[SplashMountainMama]

My children are 7 and 4--if I don't know they are going in the fridge, they might be in there with the door wide open for 20 minutes.

Slightly OT, but I had to jump in and say Dh and I just bought a new fridge (our last one was a 20yr old hand me down) and it has the coolest feature. If the fridge door is left open for more than 5 minutes or so it starts beeping to let us know. I know it's a little sad to get excited about something like that, but seriously, whoever thinks of these things is brilliant! I can't tell you how many times I found the door to our old fridge left open... and, of course, that's when the kids would go in with permission.

 

[Creekermom]

I have to agree with the Moderator, that each one of us have to do what is best for OUR families. That means that it may differ from what others do.

It makes for a diverse world

I think it is great as we all know our children the best.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Splasmountainmama- That is such a great invention!

DisneyAprilFool-
I agree that of course if the kids are healthy it is no biggie. I am sorry if this thread came across as rude, but I truly am curious as to some reasonings. Without getting into details I know someone who is very militant in what the kids eat. IE- no more than one cheerio at a time. The kids are young (not choking on food age) and yes I am serious- one cheerio at a time. I honestly don't get the reasoning behind that. Perhaps she has a good reason- I don't know. I was trying to get some insight as I am sure there are many others who are the same way. I was trying to make light of something I found strange (not bad- just strange as in new to me) and it is sometimes hard to convey that on the computer.

CreekerMom- I agree! Having different opinions and thoughts makes the world the most interesting place!

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Well, one Cheerio at a time does seem kinda silly- BUT perhaps she is trying to instill the whole 'eat slowly' method that you always read about when you are losing weight! Not that she wants her kids to lose weight- but she probably doesn't want them wolfing down their food either!

Did you ever ask her what her reason was?

BTW- I think this thread has remained very civil- considering we're talking about parental decisions and we know how THAT can go

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well, one Cheerio at a time does seem kinda silly- BUT perhaps she is trying to instill the whole 'eat slowly' method that you always read about when you are losing weight! Not that she wants her kids to lose weight- but she probably doesn't want them wolfing down their food either!

Did you ever ask her what her reason was?

BTW- I think this thread has remained very civil- considering we're talking about parental decisions and we know how THAT can go [/QUOTE]
Amen!

Most of her reasoning is IMO strange. That's why I was wondering what others thought.

 

[tjmw2727]

My kids are 10 and 12 and they can eat without asking and pretty much always have been. I generally don't have anything in the house that I don't want them to eat and if I do I mention that the "cake" is for XX and they wont' eat it.

We do have a couple of rules, like don't eat the last of something without telling me. This is in case I need it and so I know to purchase more. Another is that the big boxes of snacks, say cheese its are for home and the individually wrapped are for school etc. Same thing for water bottles vs using the fridge dispenser to pour a glass. Oh and "daddy's cookies" are usually off limits

If they are too full to eat dinner I will ask them what they had to eat and when and we will discuss it if necessary. I am usually around so if I do see one of my dd's taking a 2nd snack or a snack fairly close to dinner I will ask if they really want it and can they wait until dinner at XX time.

TJ

 

[rrobin3051]

its a little of both here at our house. I do hate if they ate something for a particular meal, but that doesnt happen often. As far as snacks go , I guess I got lucky, they tend to eat cheese, yogurt stuff like that. Now my 12 year old will eat a whole box of fruit snacks if I let him, and I have if I havent been home or something, but guess what I only buy one box for the week and if you choose to eat them all in one day there isnt anymore and I wont buy more, same with juice boxes they are meant to last all week if they dont guess what its water, so they know this.

 

[queenmum2]

I had never heard of anyone NOT monitoring their children's food intake until I had a neighbor whose kids ate constantly. It's just part of being a mom IMO.

My neighbor would sit and watch her 3 year old help himself to soda from the fridge and say "I wish he wouldn't do that all the time." It didn't occur to her to stop him. I knew this gal well and she had a lot of frustration that her kids were out of control, but she didn't like to set any limits on them.

This sounds so much like a friend of mine. Her child would stuff himself with Oreos, then she couldn't figure out why he wouldn't eat a decent meal.

My kids have to ask for snacks. I'm not sure, REALLY, how it started -- probably like PP said, it started when they were too small to get it themselves. My older child would normally choose to snack on fruit and veggies, maybe a cheese bar; my younger child, DD, would gravitate to junk, though. And if she eats ANYTHING anywhere NEAR mealtime, she just WON'T eat a decent meal.

So - not all kids and families are the same. It would be terribly boring if they were.

Tracie