Something About Nothing..........#5

[marciemi]

Mary - chilly here too. 50 when I took Eric to golf this morning and very cold downstairs since the boys were up late watching the Olympics and didn't bother closing the doorwall when they went to bed. I think the high today was only in the mid 70's.

On our trip we had some cool weather, but some really hot weather too. Seemed a bit of a shock to come back to this, but I guess it was cooling down there too.

We didn't buy the photopass CD and I kind of wish we had. We had about 450 pics (but about 2/3 of those were from surfing). We bought the books instead (fancy album types), which I absolutely LOVED and they made great presents for the grandparents. We loaded most of the pics we really liked into those books, but now there's no really easy way to have them online. Just the nice "all of us" shots with the logos, etc. that I wish we had. In retrospect, since we won't be doing this any time soon again (and probably never with all the kids), we should have just spent that $129 or whatever. Not much compared to the rest of the trip!

 

[roseprincess]

Hi homies-
Listening to a gospel station from Orlando. Listening to Kirk Franklin-"Declaration(This is God)". Now listening to a a gospel song that sounds disco-ish, called "God is Good". I love contemporary gospel! Just sharing

Let's see... I have this fly that is bugging me right now.
Had a fly issue earlier today with Chrissy. She hates flies, esp in the house.
I had to hunt a fly down today, but couldn't kill it. Chrissy is not happy with me. Took Chrissy for her haircut today.
Yesterday we went to visit DH's dad in the nursing home. Then we went to do back to school shopping. Only had to get minimal supplies as we had alot of supplies from last school yr.


Marcie-It's ok to vent
Sorry to hear your parents give the guilt trip
My parents do the guilt trip too with me, tho they live close to me.
My mom sometimes has bitterness. About 11 yrs ago, she calls me on the phone and rags for about 15 minutes, literally. It was about Chrissy being born with her heart defect- Chrissy was a baby at the time. She was complaining she was going to sue a certain Dr., etc. I couldn't handle her call much, so I put the phone down and put the clothes from the washer to dryer. I get back on hte phone and she is still ragging! I don't think she even noticed I was off the phone for a couple of minutes. It was kinda funny actually, kept my sanity Sorry I know, TMI.
to you Marcie
Glad you still had a good time at CP

 

[roseprincess]

Happy Birthday to Janet's mom and minniejack's DS!!



K-fish- Happy 1000 posts!!

Coastermom- hope things get better on your block

Have a good evening everyone.

 

[donaldduck352]

So...some thoughts about the trip while I wait for dinner to get ready. Vent ahead first, so if you want to skip it, feel free! Okay, you were warned! Here goes:

Am I the only one with parents who drive them crazy? As much as I love them and want to go home, I just cannot stand the way they act like toddlers. It's like if they don't get their way they just pout. Primarily my dad, but then mom goes into the martyr act and suddenly everyone's fighting. We're only home a few days out of every 6 months or so - you'd think they could drop it, but now that we don't live there anymore it's like they save up all the guilt trips until we're there.

Every minute we don't spend with them or want to do our own thing they just whine about. We stayed at the cabin so we could have some time to do things we wanted - go to the beach (which the boys loved), do some mountain biking (which Royce and I love and the boys complain loudly about), sleep in, etc. But any time we wanted to do any of these things basically all we heard was how selfish we were. We (and the kids) wanted to visit some of our old friends. Each time we did that we were rushed the entire time because the folks were waiting and grumbling about why we weren't there yet. Add that because of construction and the PGA Tour (which we, having avid golfers in the family, should have been aware of!) the drive between the cabin and their house took 45 instead of 25 minutes and the whole visit was just frustrating.

We're not sure in retrospect what we should have done. We had fun at CP away from them. I know spending the 5 nights at their house instead of the cabin would have been a disaster. But I don't think I wanted to spend that long in a hotel room with the 3 boys (the 3 nights we did that driving to, at, and home from CP were more than enough), which although closer, would have cost much more. What other option is there?

The best thing that I can come up with at this point is that next time we go for a length of time (not Thanksgiving when we only have a few days), we won't tell them the entire time we're there. Maybe we'll stay at their house for 2 or 3 days and spend the whole time with them (then the kids will have some space too). Then spend another 2-3 days at a hotel (or even the cabin again) but tell them we're going somewhere MUCH further away. And take our time visiting friends and going to the restaurants WE want (without being told that they're stupid) and not dealing with the temper tantrums!

Sorry - but at least I have that out of my system!

There is so much of this that goes on in my life,I couldnn't delete everything you just said..

Your not the only one in this position,trust me....

Unfort its my family and it tears between the wife and I..

I love my parents to the end of the world.But my DD17 seems like a vaca compared to them sometimes......

IMO of coarse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm done venting now also....

 

[marciemi]

Rose - I can't tell you how many times I've done that with my mom. Not just set the phone down while I ran to the bathroom , but (because my mom is almost impossible to interrupt!) frequently answered my call-waiting, carried on a quick conversation with someone else, and then gone back without mom noticing! The couple times I've been caught (out of the hundreds of times I've done it), I can always use the "wow, not sure what happened there" or "must be my cell phone again" (since my cell phone does actually do this fairly frequently!)

My Matt also HATES flies. We just had this discussion the other day. I said I hated yellow jackets more (I believe Mac does too?! ). He acted like I was crazy and said something like "They just sting you. Flies fly around and drive you crazy!" When we went up to that cabin a couple weeks ago, there were a lot of them. He spent much of the time with a flyswatter stalking (and killing) any of them. So you can tell Chrissy she's not alone!

 

[roseprincess]

Rose - I can't tell you how many times I've done that with my mom. Not just set the phone down while I ran to the bathroom , but (because my mom is almost impossible to interrupt!) frequently answered my call-waiting, carried on a quick conversation with someone else, and then gone back without mom noticing! The couple times I've been caught (out of the hundreds of times I've done it), I can always use the "wow, not sure what happened there" or "must be my cell phone again" (since my cell phone does actually do this fairly frequently!)

My Matt also HATES flies. We just had this discussion the other day. I said I hated yellow jackets more (I believe Mac does too?! ). He acted like I was crazy and said something like "They just sting you. Flies fly around and drive you crazy!" When we went up to that cabin a couple weeks ago, there were a lot of them. He spent much of the time with a flyswatter stalking (and killing) any of them. So you can tell Chrissy she's not alone!

I think we all need therapy sessions about our parents and about our children hating flies

 

[marciemi]

donald (is that your real name or is there another one I'm supposed to call you - I get confused really easily!) - sorry, I missed the next page of replies before my last reply. Thanks for the support. My husband's parents drive us crazy sometimes too, but they live far enough away that it's never really been an issue. We lived by my family for 12 years and there were good and bad times. But now it's more frustrating because it's our VACATION that I'm excited about and looking forward to and I spend the time gritting my teeth!

 

[roseprincess]

Well, at least we know we can come here to vent and comfort each other

 

[macraven]

to answer your question, we just call the other homies by the name they come in by.

donald is donald.
mac is mac

keisha is keisha...

barb is brab..........

if someone posts, call me by xxxxxx, then feel free to do so.

other than that, we use the screen names unless told otherwise.

 

[marciemi]

Well, I'd always called Keisha Janet. And I'm still confused on Andy/Rob! Did I mention I confuse easily? Must be the blond thing!

 

[donaldduck352]

donald (is that your real name or is there another one I'm supposed to call you - I get confused really easily!) - sorry, I missed the next page of replies before my last reply. Thanks for the support. My husband's parents drive us crazy sometimes too, but they live far enough away that it's never really been an issue. We lived by my family for 12 years and there were good and bad times. But now it's more frustrating because it's our VACATION that I'm excited about and looking forward to and I spend the time gritting my teeth!

Donald is good for the boards.I moved my parents down from Alabama.
The worst mistacke I've evermade.Thought them bieng closer would help themout.Boy was I wrong,it has turned our life into a living heck!!

If we want to go on a vaca,guilt trip.If we buy something new,guilt trip.

My dad is a great man,my mom is a winer..But they feed of eachother.When one is sick the other complains.And Vice-Versa.Enoough to drive one nuts

I love them to the ends but the older they get,the younger they act............

I donn't know its the same way for you.But it does get pretty old.But how do I say no for what they want

 

[keishashadow]

thanks rose

im not even going to open the parent can of worms, i am defeated, utterly & completely. new strategy to just nod my head and retreat (if only in spirit) to my laughing place tra-la-la-la

my kids like benihana & it's ilk, the chefs make me nervous with those sharp knives & all that food flying about...would make good plot for a horror flick off to seek more olympic drama to dull the senses

 

[macraven]

taking ma out to eat for her BD today. didn't know what to buy her, got a russ bear that has some internet access thing to name a star...know it's something she doesn't already have.[/QUOTE]

lots of august birthdays.
mary's son, keisha was the 9th, another homie on the 9th, keisha's mom yesterday, metro's is coming up and a few others also.


i can guess what many people were doing on a christmas night season time years ago.......


Hey it is my DS, Luke's, 13th bday today, too. We went to Benihana 's, Pitts, yesterday, to celebrate.

Happy B-day all Leo's out there![/QUOTE]

and the august babies say thank you.

Not this time around...

Just going to chill around the hotel and do some of the Disney Water Parks (annual passes). Maybe check out some wedding stuff

yes, the one we homies are going to crash.
but she is planning it for july.
can you say hot........

So...some thoughts about the trip while I wait for dinner to get ready. Vent ahead first, so if you want to skip it, feel free! Okay, you were warned! Here goes:

Am I the only one with parents who drive them crazy? As much as I love them and want to go home, I just cannot stand the way they act like toddlers. It's like if they don't get their way they just pout. Primarily my dad, but then mom goes into the martyr act and suddenly everyone's fighting. We're only home a few days out of every 6 months or so - you'd think they could drop it, but now that we don't live there anymore it's like they save up all the guilt trips until we're there.

Every minute we don't spend with them or want to do our own thing they just whine about. We stayed at the cabin so we could have some time to do things we wanted - go to the beach (which the boys loved), do some mountain biking (which Royce and I love and the boys complain loudly about), sleep in, etc. But any time we wanted to do any of these things basically all we heard was how selfish we were. We (and the kids) wanted to visit some of our old friends. Each time we did that we were rushed the entire time because the folks were waiting and grumbling about why we weren't there yet. Add that because of construction and the PGA Tour (which we, having avid golfers in the family, should have been aware of!) the drive between the cabin and their house took 45 instead of 25 minutes and the whole visit was just frustrating.

We're not sure in retrospect what we should have done. We had fun at CP away from them. I know spending the 5 nights at their house instead of the cabin would have been a disaster. But I don't think I wanted to spend that long in a hotel room with the 3 boys (the 3 nights we did that driving to, at, and home from CP were more than enough), which although closer, would have cost much more. What other option is there?

The best thing that I can come up with at this point is that next time we go for a length of time (not Thanksgiving when we only have a few days), we won't tell them the entire time we're there. Maybe we'll stay at their house for 2 or 3 days and spend the whole time with them (then the kids will have some space too). Then spend another 2-3 days at a hotel (or even the cabin again) but tell them we're going somewhere MUCH further away. And take our time visiting friends and going to the restaurants WE want (without being told that they're stupid) and not dealing with the temper tantrums!

Sorry - but at least I have that out of my system!

i love hearing others say mean things about the kinfolk.
i fit in so well here....

marci, do what you mentiioned. get a room for the family prior or after the visit with the parents and do your own family thing.
give your folks a couple of days and kiss them good bye with a smile on your face.

if mom harps on something, take out your hearing piece and just smile at her. it will work.

i just nod and smile to mine when she goes off on any topic.
i won't have her forever so i put up with it.
i'm no prize, i have my faults also.

my mother is domineering and is used to getting her way. at this point in her life i find it easier to just smile and nod and keep my thoughts to myself. there is no way i will ever change her....but i don't like a lot of the things she says to me. i have learned a lot from mother. not to repeat all the crap she does to her family would i ever do to mine. well, that is unless i get dementia then anything goes...

Happy Birthday to Janet's mom and minniejack's DS!!



K-fish- Happy 1000 posts!!

Coastermom- hope things get better on your block

Have a good evening everyone.

you forgot keisha .....

There is so much of this that goes on in my life,I couldnn't delete everything you just said..

Your not the only one in this position,trust me....

Unfort its my family and it tears between the wife and I..

I love my parents to the end of the world.But my DD17 seems like a vaca compared to them sometimes......

IMO of coarse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm done venting now also....

for me, it's a toss the coin to see who wins on that one in our four walls.

Well, I'd always called Keisha Janet. And I'm still confused on Andy/Rob! Did I mention I confuse easily? Must be the blond thing!

jodie renamed rob to andy.

i think it was something he said.


we all just call him andy and he answers .......

 

[RVGal]

jodie renamed rob to andy.

i think it was something he said.


we all just call him andy and he answers .......

I think it was something about him saying that it didn't really matter what we called him and Jodie said "I've always liked the name Andy. I'm calling you that." and it stuck because that's just the kind of people we are.

 

[donaldduck352]

Hey mac,My real middle name is Donald.But you mayhave been the second off the boat..

My family was the 5'th.So scotlass you have long lost relatives in the states..

So keep the javva coming in the morning...

Catcha YA'll in the A.M.(thats P.M. for you scotlass)Good Eve And Goodnight ALL!!!

 

[minniejack]

When moving back to WV, we moved 1/2 hour away from the fams so that we could be close enough when we wanted, but far enough away to not have problems.

At age 42, I still have to remind myself that I am not just 2 without the 40 other years when my mom is around.

Left a baby shower early the other day to get my DD to a tennis tournament and me fair mum actually stood up to try to take me over and make sure I said my farewells

Doesn't that sound awful when you see it in print?

My DD and I were watching reruns of the Gilmore Girls the other day and if you remember Lorelei always had problems with her stiff necked mother. She told her mom that it took her years to finally to decide to laugh at whatever her mother criticized her for and that sometimes she goaded her into the criticism just so she could secretly laugh at her mom.

I am trying to remember to do that.

Also, my DD will be 15 on the 19th. Oh, help me with the learning to drive bit.

 

[marciemi]

We all love Benihana's, which led to one of the fights there! We don't have them around here, so like to go when we're home at lunch when we can afford it. (There are a few knock-off restaurants here, but only open for dinner with dinner prices.) We don't like the Milwaukee Benihana's, and any time we've tried the Northbrook (I think?) Chicago one, they never have lunch.

Anyways, dad was pouting and insisting mom should come with him to the library to return a book (you know how that takes 2 people ). We wanted them both to come to lunch with us but he insisted he wouldn't eat that crap - they always call it "Beni-haha". So we talked mom into coming with us (this was the day we were leaving and wanted to spend some last time). We insisted on paying, which was good because evidently that was the first thing he asked when we left.

No August birthdays here in any of our families - guess we couldn't catch the Christmas spirit!

 

[marciemi]

Does anyone else remember the children's book "The Blah"? Vaguely it's about a boy who everyone ignores because he's "blah" and break his stuff etc. because they just don't notice him. Well, he becomes king or powerful (or something) and goes back and stomps all the other kids' crayons and when they plead with him to stop, he replies "Yes, yes, quite so, lovely day for crayon stomping!"

What bothers me the most about mom is how she just complains about how horrible dad treats her all the time but won't stand up to him, ignore him, or leave him. Just suffer and whine to us (dad is pretty verbally abusive and controlling). This time when she kept getting upset, I told her to remember that phrase and maybe it would help (we all loved this book as kids and one of my brothers and I have gotten copies off of ebay to have!).

Okay, enough venting about my folks. I'll go on to more interesting parts of the trip next!

Minnie - maybe the driving won't be as bad as you think. I have a DS16 who just went through it all and it's been fine (knock on wood). Other than a bit of a "I know everything" attitude, he was fine, cautious, and seems to be a really good driver. Makes life SO much easier to have another person helping with all the running around. DS15 just finished the classroom part of drivers' ed, but we have until January until he can get his permit. The most painful part of the whole process was the tripled insurance rates, but I've already whined about that a few months ago!

Hey guys, I have another job interview tomorrow morning so wish me luck!

 

[Cdn Friends of Pooh]

I think it was something about him saying that it didn't really matter what we called him and Jodie said "I've always liked the name Andy. I'm calling you that." and it stuck because that's just the kind of people we are.

Yep and we all agreed to call him Andy

 

[mslclark]

Hi Homies! Glad to see you've all been holding down the fort. I haven't been online that much because I hurt my back last week and I've been out of commission. I haven't been able to work for a week. I finally went to the chiropractor today, but I'm not convinced they know what they're doing. I'm willing to give it a try for a little while though. If anyone has any experience with chiropractors - good or bad - I'd like to hear about it. DH thinks I'm crazy for going to one! I don't think a regular dr. would do anything but give me meds for it anyway.

Hope you all are doing well! I'll try to check on everyone again soon.