Oh my gosh! Your post always make me laugh.
A little story: About a month ago I as out watering early in the morning. Our watering hours are midnight till 9am and it has to be with a hand held hose, no sprinklers. Cuts in on my Dis time, somethings need to be done, to Dis or water. Anyways I see this giant bug, about 4-5 inches long, with long arms and claw at the end of the arms. I have never seen anything like that around here. Had no idea what it was. Watched it walk across the dirt and into the street, then plop a car tire got it. You've just identified that bug without me even asking, thanks Pumba. I'll be sure to stay clear of that nasty bug and make sure I wear shoes around here. I'm a bare foot Mama who drives my pedicurist crazy. Not any more after reading about this bug.
I'm sure with the addition of the large pond that the beaver dam has produced over the wall in the back yard, I'll probably see more of these around and make sure I stay clear of them. I have heard of these large water bugs, but have never seen them before. Now that I have, I hoping they stay in the pond or the woods and out of my yard. If you hear me yelling you know one got me by the toe.