Some people are so selfish

[va32h]

I have a little shop that I share with an antique dealer...we have antiques (obviously), fabric and gifts.

Well my business partner has been unavailable lately because her daughter had to have an emergency C-section and her son-in-law can't get off work for too long, so she's been taking care of her daughter and helping with the new baby (because obviously C-sections have a long recovery period).

So the result of this is that the shop is open sort of odd hours - it's just the two of us and I have to close up when I go get my kids from school or wherever. We made a cute little sign on the door with a picture of the baby and it explains that our hours will be sporadic for the next few weeks but here's the website blah blah blah.

So today these two women come in and they are looking for my partner - she's supposed to appraise some picture frame for them. And I explained why she wouldn't be in...and they actually got upset with me! They wanted me to call her and find out when she'd be in because she had promised to appraise this frame.

Now this is not the mall mind you. It's a little downtown area with quaint shops that are all owner-run...I was really flabbergasted at their attitude!

 

[java]

Um it is a business no? While I don't know how they spoke to you I can see them wanting a set time to return to get an item appraised as opposed to just keep trying and we'll maybe be here or not.
As someone that had 3 c-sections. I was up and on my feet by the time I got home from the hospital- up and down stairs and lifting my toddler as well as the new baby.
While it is wonderful that your partner is stepping up to help her out- you have to kind of understand the frustration of someone driving all the way to your "quaint shop" and then being told oh she's not here sorry. And I can't tell you when she'll be back.

 

[mmcguire]

If they'd been upset because they drove there and found the shop was closed during regular operation hours, I'd kind of understand, but for them to be upset because a particular person was not there -- that IS selfish.

 

[My2Cinderellas]

Yes, people can be selfish. But as a small business owner, sometimes you have to go the extra mile for a customer. A quick call to your partner to find out the next time she would be in would have been a nice touch.

"I'm so sorry she isn't here today, she will be in next Tuesday from 9-1" or whatever would have gone a long way to appease the situation.

 

[va32h]

Well they didn't have an appointment, nor did they call first...I have no idea how far they drove, but I wouldn't drive across town for something without making sure the person I wanted to see was there. And she's doing it as a favor, too, not taking any money.

I've never had a C-section, so I don't know what the issue is. There's a home-health aide that comes to drain the daughter's incision so I suppose there's some sort of complication.

 

[DVCLiz]

I've had two C-sections, and I can tell you not everyone springs home from the hospital able to lift toddlers. That's not the norm for anyone I knew recovering from a section, either. It's a major abdominal surgery with cut muscles, and it needs a 6 week recovery time usually. If the PP was able to get around so quickly, good for her, but that's not my experience at all.

A customer expecting someone to do her a (free) appraisal who doesn't call first doesn't have the right to be disappointed, in my opinion.

 

[Hannathy]

Very few people need 6 weeks to recover from a C- section and even fewer have someone to stay with them while they do it. My DH was home for 2 days-it was lucky I came home on a Friday and he had the weekend off but Monday I was on my own.

I don't blame the customers for being annoyed, I don't call it selfish. If she is running a business she needs to plan for it, and while something may come up for a day or two this sounds like a lot longer and she needs to work out something for her customers or expect them to go somewhere else or at the very least not be happy about it. I would be worried about the bad word of mouth that could be spread if she keeps doing this very long.

 

[DVCLiz]

Very few people need 6 weeks to recover from a C- section and even fewer have someone to stay with them while they do it. My DH was home for 2 days-it was lucky I came home on a Friday and he had the weekend off but Monday I was on my own.

I don't blame the customers for being annoyed, I don't call it selfish. If she is running a business she needs to plan for it, and while something may come up for a day or two this sounds like a lot longer and she needs to work out something for her customers or expect them to go somewhere else or at the very least not be happy about it. I would be worried about the bad word of mouth that could be spread if she keeps doing this very long.

I think it's probably equally likely that many women need a longer recovery time as it is that women can bounce back from a C-section in two days. Some can - some can't. I'm remembering some smug woman in my childbirth class who made it a competition and implied that everyone should be up and around after a weekend. As I'm sure you know, it would depend on many factors, including the type of incision, the amount of bleeding, and the mother's overall health, as well as her reaction to anesthesia, etc.

I'm not doubting that either of you had quick recoveries, but I didn't, and it's not fair to assume your experience is typical any more than it would be to assume that all women need a full six weeks. I do believe that is what was medically indicated by my OB at the time, though.

To me, this sounds like such a little business that backup plans just aren't very efficient. I do business with a couple of places like this. You just can't expect the same degree of professionism you'd get in a fully staffed department store, for instance. Some small business owners are just come-and-go types, even without a family medical emergency, and if you want to do business with them you have to roll with it. They could always take their business to the other free estimate people in town.

 

[SpecialK]

Well they didn't have an appointment, nor did they call first...I have no idea how far they drove, but I wouldn't drive across town for something without making sure the person I wanted to see was there. And she's doing it as a favor, too, not taking any money.

I've never had a C-section, so I don't know what the issue is. There's a home-health aide that comes to drain the daughter's incision so I suppose there's some sort of complication.

They were rude. If they wany to be annoyed with someone, it should be your partner, not you. Even that would be over the top IMO since your partner is doing them a favor, they had no appt. and they didn't call.

There's a lot of "bully for me I was on my feet two hours after my C-section" attitude here. If it's this girl's first section, the recovery is more difficult. And it sounds like she has some kind of complication with the incision because visits from a home-health aide are not the norm. Your partner is right where she should be.

 

[OceanAnnie]

C-sections are major surgery. Individual experiences can vary greatly. My doctor advised me not to drive for at least 4 weeks. Maybe longer I can't remember. He also advised to limit steps and not to pick up anything heavy. Not to mention I didn't feel so great for awhile. Some women feel fine afterwards, some don't. It isn't new news. No biggie. People are different.

As to the customers being selfish. Yeah. I agree with you. They could've been more thoughtful of the situation. They could've offered to leave the frame to be appraised if they wanted it done so badly. They would've had to make another trip anyway.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Well they didn't have an appointment, nor did they call first...I have no idea how far they drove, but I wouldn't drive across town for something without making sure the person I wanted to see was there. And she's doing it as a favor, too, not taking any money.

I've never had a C-section, so I don't know what the issue is. There's a home-health aide that comes to drain the daughter's incision so I suppose there's some sort of complication.

Hmmm, sounds like your customers have never heard of a telephone?? I can't imagine driving to an antiques shop and expecting someone to be there to appraise an item WITHOUT calling ahead of time and making an appointment! They were out of line for being upset.

I do think it would have been helpful to tell them you'd be happy to take their name and number and ask your partner to call them.

 

[N&B'smom]

I think the ladies were very selfish and unreasonable. I can't believe they wanted you to call her. That's ridiculous.

I also had a c-section and will be quite honest and say that I wasn't feeling 100% when I got home. I went shopping the day after I got home but I remember being sore. As for jumping up, lifting things, going up and down stairs - my Dr advised me that I wasn't allowed to do those things for several weeks. I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I can't imagine someone having a c-section and not being told that they shouldn't do certain things.

This woman deserves to have her mother around to help out with her and the new baby. Too bad all women don't have the opportunity to have that!

Shelby

 

[MouseJunkie]

I understand where you're coming from. If I took lunch in the building people would say, "I see her car is here." "Can you go get her?" One person even yelled out me for taking a lunch. I so wanted to say don't you get a lunch or a break? People can be jerks sometimes.

 

[AprilShowers]

Small business owner weighing in here: I will not jump into the c-section debate.

BUT, customers of small businesses are used to being catered to. Those ladies were rude to be upset that your partner was out helping her daughter. What you could have done to settle them down was offer to take a message and have your partner call them when she would be in.

OR offer to take the frame, get the appraisal for them and call them back in a couple of days.
That way they're not out bad-mouthing your business (and hopefully telling everyone what great customer service they got!)
It's a win-win situation.

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, I must be a real wimp because I needed my mom to come stay with us for a week when we adopted DD from China and DH was home as well .

OP, I could perhaps understand them asking if you had any idea when she'd be back, after inquiring about her DD and the baby of course, but expecting you to call is over the top.

 

[va32h]

I did take their names and phone number.

The reason they want it appraised is because they want us to sell it for them.

I know it's inconvenient for our customers - however, we are a small business and at this point we can't afford to hire extra help on the off chance that someone will wander in during the 30 minutes or so that I'm off picking up my kids at school or whatever.

We're very obviously a family-run business. There's a play area and a rec room in the back with a couch, kitchenette & TV so my kids can be there with me...we let people bring their pets in and my partner usually brings in her (very well behaved) Rhodesian Ridgeback.

It's just that kind of laid back place. One of the other shops on our street has a sign saying "We're open whenever I get here and we stay open til I feel like going home." Most people laugh at it...they know that's just the kind of atmosphere.

There are appraisers who will come to a person's home...of course they charge you for it.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I've been through c-sections twice.

First time was after a full day of labor and three hours of pushing. My recovery was several weeks; in fact, my DH did a heck of a lot of diaper changes and giving baby baths those first weeks because I simply couldn't stand up straight without a lot of pain.

Second time, it was planned, and I had DD two hours after my water broke and never had to feel even one contraction. I was strolling around the maternity floor by day three, carrying the baby.

So even for the SAME woman, c-section experiences vary greatly. Just because one person could run home and carry her toddler around does NOT mean everyone else can.

As for the two women, they were rude. I know several small business owners, and while they make every attempt to be available, sometimes life gets in the way. It isn't a big retailer with extra staff. If you want to patronize a small business (and especially if you are getting a FREE service from one!) you need to be flexible when the unexpected happens. Have they never had to take time off of work? (Or at least known someone who has, lol!) Jeez!

 

[AprilShowers]

I did take their names and phone number.

The reason they want it appraised is because they want us to sell it for them.

I know it's inconvenient for our customers - however, we are a small business and at this point we can't afford to hire extra help on the off chance that someone will wander in during the 30 minutes or so that I'm off picking up my kids at school or whatever.

I think you did everything you could, and the selfish ladies will either be back, or they won't.
Sometimes we have to cut loose the customers who are bad for business. And yes, there are lots of them out there. They are the ones who cost you money because of their ridiculous demands of your time and attention.

I hope when you sell the frame for them you charge them a tidy little "finder's fee" or whatever you call it!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Who cares what reason the partner wasn't there! She had a family issue to take care of. Whether it was a c-section or a hemmorhoid who cares?! She had to take care of something important in her family. The customers were rude, They had no appointment and were not even paying. Should everyone just be at their beck and call? I would have been annoyed too.

Oh- and send me a trophy too. I never had a c-section. I just want a trophy. I've never gotten one and since you are handing them out I want one! I like shiny things.

 

[va32h]

Oh- and send me a trophy too. I never had a c-section. I just want a trophy. I've never gotten one and since you are handing them out I want one! I like shiny things.

Well why not. Isn't there another thread about trophies for everyone?