Sob Stories

[crisi]

Real, honest, real people friendships are formed over chat boards.

And real, honest people are often at the end of these threads making very valid and anonymous vents, prayer requests, etc.)

But, also, on the internet, no one knows you are a dog. Not all people at the other end of these threads are honest, or even real.

If someone has been here a while and has become part of our community over time - this is a great place to share and vent.

If you've been here a few scant months or have a few scant posts under your belt and are posting about your longish term financial woes - well, I do question why you are on a board whose primary purpose is Disney vacations. There is a difference between showing up here for a Disney trip, planning for a few months and posting "oh no, I got laid off, what am I going to do about our trip" and spending a few months posting here to disclose at the holidays that you've been out of work for two years and unemployment is running out. We are a great group of people (well, we snipe a little) but the motivation for joining a board about Disney vacations under those circumstances seems a little suspicious.

 

[maedelken]

Gosh I am a real honest person and I only have about 350 posts or so. I have to admit I have probably been on here once or twice a day since I joined I just don't always have a lot to say or can't remember my password all the time. I feel really at home here and I get a lot of good tips and advice. I believe I have vented once or twice about money issues and family health issues too. Sometimes it is hard to post a lot. I will have 6 kids soon and I am in nursing school.

 

[vsimeone]

Wow. I'm about ready to go delete my post on the Compassion Board. I was asking for prayers and ideas and sharing a bit of my story because I don't want go "whining" about the issue I am dealing with to all my friends. It was good catharsis to write it out and I figured if people didn't want to read it, they'd scroll past. I'll be more careful in the future!

 

[crisi]

Gosh I am a real honest person and I only have about 350 posts or so. I have to admit I have probably been on here once or twice a day since I joined I just don't always have a lot to say or can't remember my password all the time. I feel really at home here and I get a lot of good tips and advice. I believe I have vented once or twice about money issues and family health issues too. Sometimes it is hard to post a lot. I will have 6 kids soon and I am in nursing school.

Your join date is 2006 and you have 350 posts. That's a LOT different than someone whose join date is in August of this year, has 50 posts and then posts about the long term trouble in their life. Why would anyone join a DISNEY board if they are currently worried about paying for Christmas presents for the kids?

People have been taken by people on the internet. People have been taken by people on the Disboards. People have also received great help and compassion on the internet, and her on the Disboards. Just be careful who you give your heart or help to.

 

[Aliceacc]

In 2008 I found a huge lump in my right breast. A mastectomy was scheduled for September 8. Since there was no reason to cancel, we chose to go ahead with our plans for the kids' first ever Disney Trip a few weeks before my surgery.

In the process of researching Disney(psychotically, since it gave me something to do in the middle of all those nights when I couldn't sleep) I found the breast cancer thread here on the DIS. And I've got to tell you: the women (and one or two men who have been touched by breast cancer) on that thread are a lifeline. They're total strangers, but they gave me the care and support and advice I needed. In the 3 years since, I've directed a number of other, non-Disney people to that thread when they received a similar diagnosis.

So, yes, I do know that total strangers can make a difference. They did, for me.

When I read a post about someone's hard luck, I'm more than willing to offer a few kind words and a quick prayer. If I've fallen for someone's idea of a joke, I can live with that; I figure the prayer and the kind words help me to become more of the person I want to be, regardless of how they're received.

But that's as far as it goes. As the economy continues to effect people, we continue to try to be as generous as our means allow, but with organized charities. So reading some of the posts here might make me more likely to put an extra few dollars into the Salvation Army drum at the supermarket, not to send that Honey Baked Ham or American Girl Doll.

And I do see crisi's point about timing. I would imagine that anyone joining this community would, at least in the beginning, not be worried about paying the mortgage. Everyone knows that a trip to Disney is a fairly expensive propostion. So anyone facing real financial hardship would probably seek out another message board. Having things go sour after a while is one thing, but joining here as a support network when you're already in a financial hole simply doesn't make sense.

 

[junebugTN]

Those were a great and balanced responses, Alicacc and crisi. I wish we could close this thread out on that note.

I attend church, pray often and have certainly benefitted from the prayers of others. That being said, I think it is sad how many people have passed judgment upon the OP for their opinion. Gotta love the responses that slam them and then add, "God bless" or "I hope nothing bad happens to you."

 

[roadtripper]

I am guilty(?) of posting here when I got pink slipped after 20 years of teaching (got my job back). I have a great support network of family and friends in the 'real world', but didn't want to burden them with how hopeless I really felt, and also couldn't vent on FB since I have professional colleagues there. I got some great anonymous support here, for which I was very grateful. Thank you!

Prayer is awesome; wish the disboards were around when DS was in the NICU--I totally would have posted here.

And I confess that sometimes I read the sad stories to remind me of how lucky I am. I probably should post hugs, prayers, and support more to the posters, but many of you are great at that--thanks for taking one for the disboards team! I hope we never reject those threads here. I think most of us can spot a troll, and I would never send more than advice and prayers to a DISer. Most people just want to be heard, and the DIS is a great place for that.

 

[mafibisha]

Those were a great and balanced responses, Alicacc and crisi. I wish we could close this thread out on that note.

I attend church, pray often and have certainly benefitted from the prayers of others. That being said, I think it is sad how many people have passed judgment upon the OP for their opinion. Gotta love the responses that slam them and then add, "God bless" or "I hope nothing bad happens to you."

ITA with this.

I am guilty(?) of posting here when I got pink slipped after 20 years of teaching (got my job back). I have a great support network of family and friends in the 'real world', but didn't want to burden them with how hopeless I really felt, and also couldn't vent on FB since I have professional colleagues there. I got some great anonymous support here, for which I was very grateful. Thank you!

Prayer is awesome; wish the disboards were around when DS was in the NICU--I totally would have posted here.

And I confess that sometimes I read the sad stories to remind me of how lucky I am. I probably should post hugs, prayers, and support more to the posters, but many of you are great at that--thanks for taking one for the disboards team! I hope we never reject those threads here. I think most of us can spot a troll, and I would never send more than advice and prayers to a DISer. Most people just want to be heard, and the DIS is a great place for that.

Agree with this, too.

Someone here will know the answer about EVERYTHING; there's a wealth of experience and expertise and people generously share their ideas and assiistance, regardless the need.

And while there ARE likely scammers, sometimes its an unbiased ear that is needed. Sometimes people are embarassed to tell their family and friends, who are also likely biased and have probably already been contacted anyway.

The Dis is a blessing. If its a last minute recipie question, or technology, or keeping out food too long I couldn't possibly call all my friends and family (and I'm blessed with lots of each) to get their advice without having to chit chat about everything else too, or first. Also sometimes a quick decision is needed (food left out, ugh) and the Dis is right there to quickly help me make a decidion.

 

[ilovemk76]

Can you send an American Girl doll with it? My DD would love to get one.

The AG doll was added to the package. I threw in Tide laundry detergent as an added bonus.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

The AG doll was added to the package. I threw in Tide laundry detergent as an added bonus.

Thanks but I hope it was liquid Tide!!! That powder stuff is awful.

 

[averysmom]

I don't mind the vent posts or the P and PT posts... but some of these posts, IMO, are trolling or fishing for pp to send them things / money. There is a large post on this board about being careful about these, "Woe is me", posts. It is sad that even for people who are legitimately just asking for P and PT could be lumped in with the others, but there are more and more fraudsters every year. I bet some of the fraudsters don't even think they are fraudsters, they just think, "Hey, it worked last time, I'll tell my sob story again, and maybe someone will send me something."

 

[mrsklamc]

I guess by some definition EVERY post on the board is "pay attention to me." No one posts here because they don't want anyone to read it- otherwise they would use a diary instead of a message board.

 

[crisi]

I guess by some definition EVERY post on the board is "pay attention to me." No one posts here because they don't want anyone to read it- otherwise they would use a diary instead of a message board.

Of course, but there are - as in life - givers and takers. People who add information or to the emotional energy of the board, and people who subtract. Most of us give and take in our turn and have balance - especially over time. A few do nothing but give - give advice, give support - they get their "pay attention to me" by having been helpful. And a few are so unbalanced on the take side that they come off as extraordinarily needy. When the first loses sight of not every story is true or as extreme as its been made out to be, they are easy targets for the second if they have a predatory nature to their need.

 

[maedelken]

Seriously I think being pregnant and extra hormonal makes me weepy eyed over everything. I just teared up bc of a commercial on the radio. Lord help me. 14 more weeks and I can be balanced again until then every time I hear something slightly sad I cry.

 

[stacy347]

Um, my original point has been rather lost in the rush to cast me as a soulless, sad troll .

To clarify, I think all those lovely things (prayer, sympathy, empathy, sharing, venting, etc) are great. Just fabulous. When dealing with real live human folks. Reach out, lend a hand, it's all good. But when I see post after post popping up with sob stories about how 'tragedy has struck, but even though we just can't afford it, we can't disappoint the kids', and I know (because I've been on these boards for a good long time) that many of these posts ARE fishing expeditions and that DIS'ers have come back and reported on the boards that they were SCAMMED by these stories - well, I don't think my skepticisim and words of caution mean that I'm a pagan Grinch.

Cause I'm not. Although, dear reader, you have no way of knowing that, because I'm posting on an anonymous chat board (but my DD is REALLY a maid at the Haunted Mansion ).



KC

Regarding the bolded, a person can only be scammed if they allow themselves to be. It doesn't take the common sense of a rock to know that you don't send money to a random stranger.

I have posted my own vents over the years (no troll here either, for the record, nor was I looking for anyone's help). As has been said numerous times, sometimes people are just looking for someone to listen for a quick minute, plain and simple.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Seriously I think being pregnant and extra hormonal makes me weepy eyed over everything. I just teared up bc of a commercial on the radio. Lord help me. 14 more weeks and I can be balanced again until then every time I hear something slightly sad I cry.

Go ahead and cry. Sometimes you do what you need to do.

 

[mrsklamc]

Of course, but there are - as in life - givers and takers. People who add information or to the emotional energy of the board, and people who subtract. Most of us give and take in our turn and have balance - especially over time. A few do nothing but give - give advice, give support - they get their "pay attention to me" by having been helpful. And a few are so unbalanced on the take side that they come off as extraordinarily needy. When the first loses sight of not every story is true or as extreme as its been made out to be, they are easy targets for the second if they have a predatory nature to their need.

Of course- I forgot to quote the poster I was responding to- one who somehow is offended that there's a 'coping and compassion' board.

 

[eliza61]

What gets me is that there's even a dedicated board here for all such attention (lady of the evening)s. Calls for sympathy/prayers and vents are all exactly the same thing: "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

You really think that? Wow.

Personally If someone just lost their dog, I am more than happy to say a small prayer for them.

I totally sympathize with some one who has had a run of bad, expensive luck.. I've been there where every appliance in my house has broken and had to be replaced, so if I can hold someone's virtual hand while they cry over their depleted bank account, I have no problem with that.

If a SAHM is having a rough day because her 3 little ones' are any thing but precious, I have no problem with "paying" her a little attention.

Isn't the world rough enough, would it really be so terrible to spend 2 minutes of time on some one who is having a rough day.

 

[mrsklamc]

Isn't the world rough enough, would it really be so terrible to spend 2 minutes of time on some one who is having a rough day.

No kidding. It's not as though people go..."Wow, I wish I could get cancer so I could get some love on the DIS..."

 

[duffy]

For those who say, "just don't open the thread", or, "you don't have to read those posts", they're missing the more SUBTLE trolls for cash.

The REALLY good ones won't start a "woe is me" thread. They'll post in a fairly innocuous, neutral thread, one about, oh, let's say, one asking for ideas for wrapping gifts. So, you're reading along, looking for some cool ideas, and then there's a very slightly pitiful post like: "oh, I can't afford wrapping paper, so we just use old newspapers".

Then you'll see that same poster post on other seemingly innocent threads. What movie are you watching tonight? "Our dvd player broke, we haven't been able to replace it."

A thread about ideas for Christmas dinner? "We're just having Hamburger Helper this year! We love it, so it's okay!"

And so on. Never asking for help or donations. Just oh so subtly getting across a message of bravely struggling, despite the obstacles.

I'm sure many people end up getting private messages of offers of help.

And now, I hope I haven't recreated actual posts here. There isn't a thread about ideas for wrapping gifts, is there?