So your kid doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. What advice do you give?

[Honu]

My advice for lost teenagers and 20 somethings -

1) Go to college.

2) Major in English. No matter what you end up doing, a command of the language will benefit you.

3) While in college, work part time and/or intern in as many fields as you can. The more you are exposed to, the more you'll know what you like - or don't like.

4) Finally, choose what makes you happy. Money is great, but most high paying jobs require big personal sacrifices. I followed the the money route, and it means very little if you're too busy (or tired) to enjoy it.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I am in my mid 30's and still really don't know what my calling is. I make jokes with family about how many useless degrees can someone (like me) have! I work as a librarian now, but I can't seem to get into a full-time job with benefits. I am only finding temp work, nights, or weekends. My prior life in other fields of work were similar - I never could get established anywhere, always the temp or part-timer. It gets old after 14 years in the work force! Basically I got my library masters degree since I couldn't think of anything else to do. Great reason, huh!

I truly believe that I would have greatly benefitted from some positive female role models when I was younger, but I had a stay-at-home mom who never worked, and overall I was very isloated. And most of my high school teachers were men, so little exposure to what's out there. When I got to college, I was clueless and majored in what my dad said to (computers). The result? Not happy and never got anywhere in that field! Sigh.

Though I completely agree with Danacara - I encourage kids I babysit to major in something that pays. Or major in something you may have an inside connection to, or know the right people, to get a foot in the door. Forget the art and music and theater!! These things are so glorified to kids. When you hit an age (like me now!) where 401K's, medical and dental benefits, owning a home, IRAs, and growing retirement accounts are all that matter, you realize that a lucrative career is VERY important. Wish I had one! Maybe someday!

 

[Papa Deuce]

I would tell my daughters "Do what makes you happy. Oh, and make sure you can pay your bills by doing it".

 

[Papa Deuce]

I've been thinking about that where my son is concerned. I think that it really depends on him.

If he is truly uncertain and is college age, I see nothing wrong with waiting a while before pursuing something. If he's good with his hands, I'd urge him to learn a trade such as plumbing or some other apprentice type career. These tradesmen make great money and this type of field can tide him over until he decides what to do. Or if he likes it and wants to stay with it, more power to him!

I guess that I don't believe that college is necessarily the end-all. It depends so much on the person and what they want to do. I think it's most important to be happy first and then the money will follow.

I did EXACTLY that. I was a machinist for 2+ years. I then decided I wanted more in life than to smell like machine oil 5 days a week. I then went to college. I started college at almost age 21.

 

[beckmrk04]

I wanted to be a lawyer. All through high-school I was determined to be a lawyer. Went to U of I- Pre-Law. Decided, not so much. Changed my major. To Women's Studies. Everyone said, "What the heck are you going to do with that?" To which I replied, "I have no clue, but I'll figure something out." Heck- the first day at U of I at freshman orientation they told us to major in whatever sounded cool to us because 90% of us would be working in a field different from our major anyway.

So, I got out of school, and worked at a nonprofit sexual assault crisis center. Loved my job, but it was so emotionally draining. So, now I quit, and I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

 

[Stephanie218]

Sorry, forgot to add my opinion as well as asking danacara my question...

I was required by my parents to get a business minor, but i could major in anything I wanted. I decided to major in business, but freshman year became really interested in religious studies. That is still more interesting to me than business, but after researching possible careers and the pay, I chose to forgo a religious studies major and double in marketing and finance. It was a kind of compromise, because my dad was highly suggesting accounting (he regrets that he didn't major in that, because now he has to hire out an accountant for his company). So, I am still interested in my major, but I do think it's important to have some kind of monetary possibilities in the future to support yourself. If i was majoring in religious studies, I'd be going to grad school and probably getting a doctorate as well ---- going into serious debt since my parents are only paying for undergrad.

 

[MsLeFever]

Or major in something you may have an inside connection to, or know the right people, to get a foot in the door. Forget the art and music and theater!! Maybe someday!

As a college prof in theatre I have to disagree don't I? Theatre majors learn how to communicate effectively, learn how to analyze the written word, learn how to work in small groups and large groups, learn leadership skills, learn oral communication. They are usually outgoing and dynamic.

I have theatre majors working as teachers, cops, dentists, lawyers and all sorts of professional careers AS WELL AS working in the theatre. If you don't have to be a star, there is lots of work available in theatre especially if you can also to technical work.

I tell my freshmen to major in something that they are good at, something they enjoy and (as someone else said) to work and intern at a variety of companies to find a job situation that they can be happy in.

I also firmly believe that college isn't for everyone. I just had several students who actually told me, in writing, that they don't like to "think." Whew - I suggested that they save their tuition money and take a factory job asap. I'm not being sarcastic here - just why choose this college path if you don't enjoy it? Shoot, there are plenty of jobs that pay well (probably better than being a college prof!) and where there is minimal critical thinking.

 

[debden]

I say Be Careful,Be Smart,Use your common sense and If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't...
Well at least that's what I told my nephew last night who turned 21 yesterday (St Patricks Day) and is going out with his roommate in Orlando last night to celebrate.....
Just a Worried Aunt....

 

[Christine]

I don't know how I will advise my kids but I better figure it out as I they are 14 and 11!

I did not go to college but I picked a career that I could excel in without the degree and do well in--and I have done that. It allows me to have enough money to live how I am comfortable, to do what I want, and to buy most things that I want/need. If I was single and didn't have the kids "draining" me, I'd also have a pretty "sweet" life.

Having said all that--I'm not really happy. I don't enjoy my work. I get no feeling of accomplishment or reward from my job. It's now become just a job to pay the bills.

I wish, when I was younger, that I had done some of the things I wanted to do rather than take the job that would allow me to live in comfort. But when you are not making ends meet very well, sometimes you don't make the best decisions and you "go for the money."

Like Dana, I'd love to go to beauty school and would also love to become an endocrinologist, or a research pathologist. But, there is just no time or money to do those things.

Of course I regret not finishing college but I am unable to look back and see how it would have changed my life.

I do agree with the one poster who said to get an English degree. I have seen how helpful that is to people in my workplace. Of course, I love English and would adore seeking a degree in that. Don't know why I didn't do that while I was actually in college. I guess in the 80s, that just wasn't the thing to do. Everyone was in Business Administration.

So, how will I advise my children? I guess it will be to just pick something you enjoy doing. I guess it's not the lucrative way to go but, I do believe in the long run, it's the better way. And if doing something you love pays a lot--all the better.

 

[momof2inPA]

So many moms and a few dads I have spoken with, who took the SAHM or SAHD route when the kids were young, say they wish they had gotten their teaching degrees. The hours are right, and if you decide to go into administration, the money isn't bad. The benefits and retirement are great, and you get the summers off.

As someone with an engineering degree, who has taken off the last 8 years to stay home with the kids, I wish I had chosen a different field, one that I could go back to more easily after a long hiatus. Technology has passed me by, and I have no desire or ability to travel for work, like I used to, because DH is gone so much. Who would watch the kids? My sis has a nanny; that's not for me. I thought choosing the career I did would be a responsible, money-making decision (and I did save up and start some nice investments before I stopped working), but, in retrospect, I could have chosen better.

I would advise my kids to follow their passions, with one eye on their bank accounts. Life's too short, and a lifetime spent behind a desk is a wasted life in the opinion of many, many people.

 

[crazyme5kids]

I have met very few people that are happy with the careers their parents chose for them. They look at there job as a daily grind and just go through the motions. I won't do that to my kids. My daughter could never do something in finance and at this point has no interest in anything in the computer industry (although I've suggested it to her because I think she would do well).

My son (the pilot) knows he wants to be in the aviation field. He also knows that he needs to explore other options in that industry in case becoming a pilot doesn't pan out. When he told me he wanted to learn to fly and become a pilot I suggested a career in law enforcement. I think he would be great as a K-9 cop. He is sticking by flying. My boss told me she has never spoken to a teen who was so focused on what his life plans were.

My husband went to college for political science. His plans were to become a lawyer or work in politics. He had to pay for college, so he always worked a couple of jobs at a time while going to school. One of the jobs turned into his life long career. It has nothing to do with what he got his degree in. He works in the entertainment industry. He makes a decent living and loves what he does. He comes home happy and ready to spend time with his family, not needing time to unwind and escape from the pressures of a job he doesn't like. He is the one that tells the kids the world is an oyster and explore all your options while you're young, try different things to find what you will love.

 

[VSL]

You can try to steer your child all you want. If they don't find enjoyment in a high-paying, high-flying job, they're going to be miserable.

Neither me nor my BF had any idea what we wanted to do when we went to College. My parents have always tried to push me towards high-pay careers (accountant, lawyer - I'd actually be quite good at this, those type of things), while Jay's parents have always been encouraging, but not in any particular direction.

In the first week of College, Jay dropped two of his 'A' Levels (English Lit. and IT), and he wanted to pick up another (for a total of three - he was also doing History and Art), but he didn't know what. I told him to come along to my Psychology class because I thought he would find it 'fun and interesting'. He decided to do a degree in Psychology in Uni and next year he is going to be doing his PhD

Whereas I still have no real idea. I don't want to do anything with my degree (Egyptology and Ancient History). I'll probably end up doing another undergraduate degree while I'm a SAHM - in something like Sports Science (an interest that has been building up from when I was 13 and wanted to go on a diet... it kind of evolved into a general interest of nutrition and then into fitness - specifically running).

We also both love film, music and art though, so we'll probably do something with that in the future (we want to do a few different things - rather than have one career our whole lives).

I really think that to be happy and successful, you should get involved with something that you love, are passionate about and are good at. All the money in the world isn't going to mean squat (excuse the awful grammar there) if you aren't happy.

 

[gina2000]

I would definitely encourage my child to seek a well paying profession to begin his life. He then can amass some $$$ and decide to do something else at a time in his life (usually midlife) when his career isn't nearly as exciting or fascinating anymore. I worked for many years on Wall Street, quit when I had a child, and am now starting to begin my second life....hopefully as a certified teacher in the next year or so. I would have never in a million years considered that as a profession 25 years ago. It wasn't even on the radar. Now my viewpoint and interests have changed and I consider it a great opportunity for my middle years. I was able to be a SAHM because we had some moola in the bank and I can change my profession because we can pay for the education I'll need to complete the certification process.

There's something to be said for building your future with a lucrative career when you're young and then changing careers to suit your fancy/interests when your first career begins to pall.

 

[golfgal]

I don't have any idea since I don't know what I want to do when I grow up either . As for the kids, DD10 wants to be a vet so she is taken care of, DS10 is a brain child, the type of kid that gets straight A's and never studies, the kind of kid we all hated in high school, he will gravitate toward some heady math/science type career most likely. DS13, we are just hoping he passes 8th grade . This kid has ZERO motivation to do anything, but he wants to work at NASA when he grows up. I don't think they take employees at NASA that get D's in math because he can't remember to turn in his homework or study for a test.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I would definitely encourage my child to seek a well paying profession to begin his life. He then can amass some $$$ and decide to do something else at a time in his life (usually midlife) when his career isn't nearly as exciting or fascinating anymore. I worked for many years on Wall Street, quit when I had a child, and am now starting to begin my second life....hopefully as a certified teacher in the next year or so. I would have never in a million years considered that as a profession 25 years ago. It wasn't even on the radar. Now my viewpoint and interests have changed and I consider it a great opportunity for my middle years. I was able to be a SAHM because we had some moola in the bank and I can change my profession because we can pay for the education I'll need to complete the certification process.

There's something to be said for building your future with a lucrative career when you're young and then changing careers to suit your fancy/interests when your first career begins to pall.

I couldn't have said it better. Earning a good income and working hard early on is the key not only to financial freedom but also the freedom to choose the things you love to do in your second life (middle years).

 

[Kitty 34]

My 25 yr old son is still deciding what he really wants to do with his life!! He graduated with a PE/Business major at Hillsdale and is now toying with going back to get his Teaching degree because he wants to teach and coach. Right now he sells cell phones.

My 2nd DS is a freshman in college and has his mind all set to become a CPA. He decided that way back in HS.

Third DS is a Sophomore and is just starting to toss ideas around.

My best advice is do something that's realistic in obtaining and something you are genuinely going to feel comfortable doing all your life.

 

[Disney Doll]

My advice for lost teenagers and 20 somethings -

1) Go to college.

2) Major in English. No matter what you end up doing, a command of the language will benefit you.

3) While in college, work part time and/or intern in as many fields as you can. The more you are exposed to, the more you'll know what you like - or don't like.

4) Finally, choose what makes you happy. Money is great, but most high paying jobs require big personal sacrifices. I followed the the money route, and it means very little if you're too busy (or tired) to enjoy it.

Wow!!!!! Is this great advice!!!!!!!!!

I have always been amazed that we tell kids, at the age of 18, "OK, now you have to go to college, and it's very expensive" So decide what you want to do for the rest of your life, and remember, whatever you decide will have a lot of money invetsed in it". Gee...no pressure there!!!!!

I am a nurse. It has been a good career for me, and interesting. In my day, there weren't a lot of choices for girls, and my parents were fairly traditional people, so it was basically nurse or teacher. Don't have the patience for a bunch of kids all day, so nurse it was. And don't get me wrong. I have enjoyed it, gotten a lot of satisfaction out of it, have felt like I have made a contribution ot society etc. But I do wonder if my life would have been different if I had thought I could become a marine biologist?

 

[Saphire]

Since my kids were small, we tried to teach them that to help and serve others was a big part of life, and you can even choose a profession to do that. I hope we have been good examples. I think there is a 'bigger picture' of why we are here, and it has a lot to do with service. My oldest is in med school, my second just got back from Mississippi, rebuilding two homes for Katrina victims, and my 16 year old just got her first job...taking kids out into the community who are physically or emotionally challenged. I am so proud of them. I think if someone has no direction, to look outside yourself is always a great place to start.

 

[OceanAnnie]

That's a good question!

Here are some of my random "brain droppings", as George Carlin would say.

When I was young I was all over the place. I was (and still am) interested in everything. I tried on quite a few jobs/careers. Some I enjoyed. Some not. I learned a lot about myself during that time. I could've spared myself some, "in the trenches" learning if I had done more research. Hopefully, I can impart some of what I learned to my children.

I will probably approach the career thing by separating hobbies from career choices. One will fulfill you and the other will pay the bills. If by chance, luck, or the alignment of the stars you can find a career that will mesh most of your interests and skills you are on your way!

I plan to encourage the development of hobbies and the exploration of career choices early in my children's life. I want them to consider early the contributions people make in this world. And I want them to think about the contributions they would like to make.

I do want to foster an entrepreneurial spirit. So maybe they can forge their own way. I think often this is a neglected avenue. Unfortunately. Even if they don't end up working for themselves, they will have a mindset of how things work and why.

I'd like for them to think about a plan B early in life. Being prepared to switch gears (if necessary) before it's needed goes a long way.

IMO, one key is to have marketable skills that have a history of being in demand. And if those skills are transferrable to other fields, all the better! Another key is to have a genuine interest (or better yet --- PASSION) in the field you choose. And yet another key is research.

Know the market before you prepare yourself. (Know yourself as well!) Interview as many people as you can in the field. Find out if they would choose it again. What do they like and dislike? What was a surprise to them in their duties? Follow them for a day or half a day (whatever time is available). Volunteer for the business. Better to find out if it's a good fit before you commit, than after!

I think it's a lot to expect of young people right out of high school to know what they want to do the rest of their lives! It's nearly impossible. It's a time of self discovery! The number of times people switch careers/jobs over a lifetime is quite high. (Please don't ask me for a link. I read it long ago.) I'm sure there are many reasons for that. Knowing yourself and what you want out of life surely factor into it.

So in the end, I think knowing oneself, developing marketable skills, and developing oneself in a well rounded way is the best offense in the winning the rat race.

 

[RitaZ.]

Last night, I listened to a speech given by Steve Jobs at Stanford's graduation ceremony. Here is the link~ http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html He came from humble beginnings. In fact, many people and statistics would say that someone like him wouldn't accomplish much, the odds were against him. His biological mother was an unwed college graduate student, the couple that ended up adopting him were blue-collar workers. Anyway, you can see where he is today.

I really believe that if you really want something and are willing to do what it takes to get it, you will succeed. That's basically what I tell my 14 yr. old. He is quite bright and has definite ideas on what he wants to do after high school. Yet, his grades right now (8th grade) don't reflect that. Also, having a strong support system, people that really believe in you and your ability, really makes all the difference.

My husband has many interests/hobbies that he enjoys and wants to pursue further. He really wants to write now, which he has been doing for a while. Sometimes, I just look at him and think, WOW!. He's always pushing himself, he is a great motivator.

There are no shortcuts, the road to your goal is often bumpy, but you've got to keep going. My parents taught us, through their actions and words, that things worth having took work and perseverance. We went though many difficult times, but we just kept pushing forth.

I'm 40 and returned to college last fall. I see some of the younger students, some have a solid plan and others are there because mom and dad forced them to be there. Anyway, this time around, I'm really doing something that I want to do. I'm really enjoying myself, never thought it would feel this good. I think some people I know expected me to give up quickly, a friend was surprised when I mentioned I had to study for a test. She said, "Oh, you're still going to school." I'm done having children, that wonderful stage is now behind me. I'm really excited about this new stage in my life and what's ahead for me.

Bottom line, whatever your goal/choice may be, it should be something that you enjoy and love. If you keep going forth, despite the obstacles that you encounter along the way, there is at least a chance that you will reach your goal. If you give up because it's too hard or whatever, there is no chance at all of reaching your goal.