So, who HAS or IS an Only Child?

[Tink_Fan]

I'm not an only child, but I have only one DD. We probably won't have any more children, I had a rough time with my DD and I'm content with having only her. I get comments all the time about how she must be soo spoiled, or when are you going to have more. It drives me nuts!!!

 

[4greatboys]

Im an only and heard the spoiled thing a lot. By no means did I get everything I wanted or get to have everything my way.

People will not be happy if you have 1 kid, 2 kids or a lot of kids. You just cant please everyone. I have 4 boys. People are certain my life is unfulfilled because I dont have a daughter. Who knew? I thought I was happy with my boys.

 

[hickchick]

I am the oldest of 4, DH is youngest of 4, and we have 1 DD6. Neither one of us are "baby people" - so not sure if/when we would ever start over and have #2. DD has cousins (9 right now - ages 18 to 3 mos.) that spend a lot of time with us. And she is by no means spoiled.

Pretty sad that some feel the need to tell others they have too many or not enough children. Personally, I have enough difficulty making decisions about my own life, so would not want to waste time figuring out and dictating what other people need to do with theirs!

 

[java]

Pretty sad that some feel the need to tell others they have too many or not enough children. Personally, I have enough difficulty making decisions about my own life, so would not want to waste time figuring out and dictating what other people need to do with theirs!

Well said!!

 

[THE HAT]

i always enjoy a thread about onlies, it is always nice to see that "we" are not alone, and to read what others have to say, and feel like someone else gets "it"!!!

that being said...here are my thoughts on it (1st a little background info)....on my side my mother AND my father are onlies. (dh folks step and reg all have sibs)
my mother had my brother in her first marriage, which fell apart because her husband wanted no part of a child. my mother and father married when my brother was 5 and b4 he was six my dad adopted him. (he never met his sperm father). i wasn't born until my brother was 13yrs old. so he went through most of his childhood an only, and on the other side of it so did i as he left to join the army when he was 18 and i was 5. (side note: brother went on to have 2 girls)
dh has one half brother who is 14 yrs younger, he hasn't spoken to him for 13 yrs. so dh went through most of childhood being an only, one do to age and two do to the fact that every other week he was a true only at his dads...end of background info.

we have 1 ds(8) who is our one and only. never wanted more then one. he is our heart . we are able to travel, let him be involved in plenty of extras, he is full of self confidence, is wise beyond his years. has more friends then he can remember names of, he can hold a converasation with adults that baffle them, but he is also able to just be a kid. we are both able to be at his activities, and don't play the one parent goes to one thing for one, and the other goes to the other childs. he is always saying how happy he is to be an only, and has never asked for a sib. it is a choice we made for so many reasons. to be able to give him 100% of our time, to be able to go, and do so much more with just having one, so that i am able to stay home, and be at his school helping a few times a week, and being the room mother, etc. if we had more then one i am not sure i would be able to be a sahm. so that dh and i have more alone time for us too, this is very important we feel.
so these are our reasons and they are right for US, and work for OUR family. they are not right for all, and what others do is what is right, and works for THEM. no we are not the norm in our town, but oh well. it is ok to be different.
people always ask why only one? or you're not having any more? i always answer no, and cause, and leave it at that. we also get the ohh it must be cause your parents were onlies, and for you and dh your childhood was just about that too. ummm nooo, this is just what we alone, dh and i knew was right for us. period. no more, no less. no need to make more out of it!
so is ds spoiled yep you bet he is spoiled, but a spoiled brat? NO WAY. that is the difference, and a big one it is. plenty of people have more then one and they are all spoiled brats. nothing to do with how many, has to do with how you raise them, period!!
so this long winded rant being said......all familes are the right number for that family!! for us the number that works is 3!
tks for listening

 

[catherines_mama]

To OP, your rant is okay. I'm sure whomever posted about 3rd children didn't mean to offend.

I have an only child (she's almost 5). I don't think spoiled is always a bad word. Yes, she's spoiled, she gets ALL mommy ALL the time. Granted, I'm a single mom so my focus is pretty much all her. But she's not rotten. She appreciates everything we do together. She's also not material spoiled, come on now.. single mom here, cant afford anything, but she gets all the love & attention she wants from me or her grandparents.

She's there right now (my parents) and she is just in heaven, she just loves being the center of our world, which she is.

I understand what you are saying about the assumption. I think onlies grow up just fine if their parents do their jobs. Which I think is no different then any other situation. It just shows that we all have the same problems one way or another

 

[mom2minniemouse]

I have an only child (a girl who's almost 7). While we had no problem conceiving her, we tried for 5 years to give her a sibling, but we have been unable (even w/medical help) to give her a sibling. I wouldn't necessarily say she is spoiled. I don't give her EVERYTHING she wants. However, in recent years since our finances have improved, she hasn't had to go without the necessities. I was one of four kids growing up, and purchases were always made in terms of priority.

I feel bad that I can't give her a brother or a sister, but over the years, I feel a LITTLE bit better being able to only have one kid to pack up and go somewhere fun. Diapers are but a fond memory... It also makes Disney a lot cheaper, too. LOL!

 

[the Fidge]

I'm also an only child. My mom tells people, "when you make one perfect, you can stop". The downside growing up wasn't much, I was spoiled (but not bratty either). However, now I am the only family my mom has (my parents divorced 30 years ago, when I was 6). Usually not a problem, but it does make holidays tricky since my mom and my dad don't get along. My dad gets shafted on that deal, but my mom would be all alone if I left her for Christmas while my dad has my stepmom and her kids and grandkids. I have three kids and while I certainly wouldn't give them back, we can no longer stay in one room at a value!

You never know where you may here sopmething you need!!! Thank you thank you for saying that!! I was rasied the youngest of 4 and have only 1 child I miscarried more times than I care to say each time my hear broke alittle more. I wanted to shout out to people hey I jsut lost another one ok??? Leave me alone I am trying sorry I am failing.

I will use that treasure you shared waht your mother said I will use that from this day forward..

Thank you very much, it is so painful and my son doesn't know aobut the miscarrieages. Just thinks I am mean but not giving him a sibling. I have tried to expalin the advantages but you know he would love to hear those words you shared much more.....

Thank you
Brigitte

 

[VSL]

Only child here
Everyone thinks that I was completely spoiled (I'm 21 now) but I'm not. In fact, my parents had (have?) this habit of only ever buying me stuff that I didn't ask for - if I asked for something, I never got it!

Doesn't really bother me either way. People can think what they want. I have neither the time nor the inclination to correct them

 

[ChloeChipper]

I just wanted to add my 2 cents on the topic.

My husband is an only and he told me when we got married that he wanted to have at least 2 kids because he always was jealous of his friends who had siblings to hang out with (he was also a latch key kid - single mom who had to work) so I can understand why he was lonely. He has turned into a wonderful man, not selfish or 'spoiled' in any sense of the word. He does talk about missing out on a 'built-in' playmate, but thats about all he feels was a negative.

We have 3 teenage children and they are ALL spoiled rotten. They are good kids, however. They get just about anything they need, most of the things they want, but I dont think they 'expect' them.

As far as not being able to afford 'more than one'. I really felt that way when our daughter was born. We had a hard time paying bills as I was no longer working (had some health issues after the birth). But then I got pregnant with the 2nd & we were thrilled. We managed just fine. We found ways to pay for everything. Then we immediately had #3 & then decided that was enough. I am so glad now that we had more than one. I dont know what it would have been like iwth just one child, but I am sure that would have been great too. My kids are the joy in my life, even though they are all teenagers (Boys 14&15, girl 17).

Do what feels right for YOU & all will be well

 

[DiznEeyore]

We have an only. He's 13, so people have finally given up asking us when we're having another!

 

[labdogs42]

We have an only. He's 13, so people have finally given up asking us when we're having another!

Well, it is good to know that they give up sometime!!

I'm so excited that a thread I started is at 7 pages!

 

[marcyinPA]

I am an only child (I'm almost 38 y.o.) and I have two children myself.

At the age of 17, I gained a stepsister from my father's second marriage, and by the age of 22, I added on two stepbrothers from my father's third marriage. My father is now working on divorcing #4...I only keep in touch with my stepsister from marriage #2. LONG STORY!!

I always wanted a brother or a sister growing up. I was a pretty lonely kid growing up in a very adult world. In retrospect, I'm glad my parents didn't have any more kids, given the fact that they had a really crappy marriage. But still, it would be really nice to have somebody to share the trials of dealing with aging parents with. It's a little stressful knowing that I'm it...I have to deal with both of my parents as they get older and it's a little daunting.

I never really got alot of comments about being an only. I did get the usual "You must be spoiled" or "Didn't you WANT siblings?" Like it was my choice or something.

I'm really pleased with my own choice to have more than one. They will always have each other, and that is really comforting to me.

 

[kydisneyfans]

We only have 1 child-DS is 7. We have tried, and tried, and tried to have another-we have lost 3 in the past, the most recent being 4 years ago when DW was 16 weeks. We are feeling complete as a family with just 1-but who knows?

Is our 7 year old spoiled-heck yea!! He's the only one we have and will likely ever have-he should be treated like gold.

 

[robinb]

*sigh* I was just asked on Friday by someone when I was going to have another child since I "made such beautiful babies!". I am 44 for pete's sake! No more baby making for me even if I wanted another one!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I have a sister, but my dd is an only child, and if its up to DH it will stay that way..he just dosnen't believe that any child will ever live up to his sweet baby girl.
I think our love would expand. I would be sad for her if she didn't grow up knowing the kind of love and friendship that a sister or brother can give you!

But as for now...we try not to spoil her.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I have an only child, DD6. I had my DSDs living with us for awhile, when they moved out I didn't have the strength to think about a second.
So my DD has the best of both worlds, older sisters that treat you like a big sister does (do you think by 17 DSD would not get into spats with her 6yo sister ) and then she gets to send them packing and be an only child again - aaahhh peace and quiet!
She also has a cousin (11) that comes over to play ALOT. She is an only child also. So just when they start to get tired of each other its time to go home. Should be interesting since we are taking DN and her mom to SSR in Nov.

Glad to see there are so many other only children!!

 

[LibertyLover]

I am an only child and my daughter is my only child. It gets a bit complicated as my husband has 2 children from his first marriage, but we only have one. I was spoiled in that my parents were older when I was born and wanted to travel. So I grew up traveling - first around the US, then Europe, Asia and Africa. It was great and I loved it. I married my husband when I was in my middle 40s and we talked about trying IVF, but the chances of success were small and the costs huge. So we decided to adopt a little girl from China. We figured that we had a good chance of being approved and we were. Our daughter has been with us for 2 and a half years. She will be 4 in June and has been to WDW 4 times already. Spoiled? Well, maybe just a little. For a variety of reasons, she will be our only child. In some ways I wish that we could adopt another child so that DD3 would have a sister, but at the same time, she has a wonderful older (26 in June) sister from her dad's first marriage who loves her dearly so she'll just have to settle for being the younger sister.

 

[AdriansMom]

I can definetely relate! I have a nineteen month old and people are always telling me "oh you should definetely have another one soon so your son has a playmate." I just tell them when we are ready, we will have another one. What's the rush.

 

[Big Fat Disney MaMa]

I can relate. I have one child dd (10) and wanted more, but was unable to have other children. It took 5 years, fertility and countless prayers to get the blessing that I have!

Last weekend at a girl scout event, another mother (of 6) asked what activities my other children were in. I stated that I only had the one child, but jokingly said that she probably participated in as many activities as several children would. She got very irritated with me and said, "Well we decided that it was more important to have a loving family than focus on material things like you do." Material things? I drive a small economy car and we live in a modest home.

I was floored and actually started to defend not being able to have more children!