So When Did YOU Come Around on Same-Sex Marriage?

[SEA333]

I don't think I was ever against it....when I was younger, mostly I just didn't care a whole lot. I'm not very political.

That being said, over the course of my lifetime, many things happened that made me pay attention to the issue a little more - two in particular:

1. When DS2 was born, I quit my job to stay home with my three kids who were 5, 19 months, and newborn. I started doing daycare for two little girls that had two moms. These were the two most amazing kids I've ever had the pleasure to be around (besides my own of course ). And the moms were amazing people as well. They had such a good family life and clearly loved each other and their girls. Not that I had any negative feelings before meeting this family, but boy if I did, they would have all went out the window then. How could anyone begrudge a family from being a family who were so obviously great people, who were raising spectacular children? I knew so many other families at the time that were so dysfunctional with a mom and a dad, and kids that were crazy, disrespectful troublemakers, and here right in front of my eyes was one of the best families I'd ever met. It was just so normal to me that they were a family that thinking about the fact that they were "illegal" or "immoral" was dumbfounding. I always thought: if anyone who had any doubts that two women or two men should be able to be together and raise a family, they needed to come and spend some time with my friends because it would totally change their way of thinking. And the girls. Man. I miss them so much. They really became like daughters to me. I had them for 7 years. My DD and the younger one were like sisters. We only stopped watching them when we moved, and we still keep in touch. They are 14 and 12 now! Beautiful, super-smart, athletic, awesome kids.

2. My husband's office has quite a few same-sex couples (as does mine). We had the pleasure of being invited to a wedding for two of them a couple weeks ago. Aside from being the most well-done wedding I've ever attended, it was so much fun, and the grooms were very happy. The most striking thing, however, was one of the moms. I'm sure, like most moms in that situation, there has been a lot of heartache and worry on her part over the years, but seeing her watching her son being so happy and comfortable, and surrounded by tons of supportive family and friends made me cry I have two sons, and there are always ups and downs, and every mom just wants her kids to be happy, especially when a kid is a little different, or out of the box, or whatever. It was so sweet - you could see it on her face how much she loved him and how happy she was to see him happy. Again, like the story before - how can anyone begrudge someone of that??!!

 

[NHdisneylover]

No offense to anyone here, but I think I'm a bit younger than many on these boards.

I really do think that my generation is more open than some before. I don't know very many people my age that have ever been against gay rights. Now my parents' and grandparents' generation... I know many. Some have come around, and some haven't.

Probably has something to do with my hippie parents and grandparents too

I'm sure age does matter.

DD!8 and I were talking about that earlier today. She was saying that I am really the first generation of Americans in which a large percentage of us were really aware that queer rights was an issue by at least our late teen years. Before that, in my parents' generation or even my childhood, it wasn't really brought up much for people to even think about, discuss and form an opinion.
I recall it coming up when we used to vacation yearly in Puerto Vallarta and that area had a huge queer tourism market and my parents commenting that they liked that about PV; that that group felt safe there. It was sort of a shock to me to realize that, duh!, you don't see 2 men walking around arm in arm at home and there is probably a sad reason for that. But other than that and a related conversation when my dad talked about thinking his favourite cousin was probably gay, but never knowing how to ask and knowing his cousin wouldn't want his father to know if he were because his father would never be OK with it, it just was not a topic that ever came up in any way.
By highschool that was changing and I knew a few kids in my theatre group who were out.
Then my Frehsman year in college there was the fight about prop 2 in Colorado and for the first time that I or my parents remembered, queer rights was a topic among mainstream people in fairly mainstream places.

Whereas, my kids are among many their age who were raised by people in my age group who were aware of and vocal about queer rights from the time our kids were born. My teens have no memory of a time when this was not an issue that was discussed and totally out in the open, and they also have no memory of a time when there were not queer role models on mainstream television and among mainstream stars (Jack came out on Dawson's Creek and Will and Grace was a hit on TV long before they were in Kindergarten)--so for their generation, the thought of queer rights being so long denied is just, well, odd and a little mystifying.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

Its not my life or my marriage to "come around" to. People deserve to be happy. If anyone has ruined the "sacred union of marriage" its all the straight morons who get married 3 times in 5 years.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Its not my life or my marriage to "come around" to. People deserve to be happy. If anyone has ruined the "sacred union of marriage" its all the straight morons who get married 3 times in 5 years.

Nah--it'S ALL the moron's who do that, gay or straight or . . .

 

[DisneyLvr55]

Nah--it'S ALL the moron's who do that, gay or straight or . . .

It would possibly apply to gays if they had been ALLOWED to do it. However they have not been given the opportunity, so so far, its just us straights

 

[lizabu]

I've always been for gay marriage. Even as a child my babysitter was gay and I thought he was an amazing person. I never understood why a woman was allowed to marry a man she had never met or someone she had been writing letters to in prison but a couple who was in a loving relationship but happened to be same sex were not allowed to get married. That's what confused me.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I'm another one that never had to "come around" because I was never against it to begin with. Growing up in the 70's and 80's inter-racial marriages were still mostly thought of as wrong and I never understood that because I didn't see the big deal with that either. Gay, straight, black, white as long as you are adults then I don't care what floats your boat.

 

[slo]

My opinion is......it's none of my business.

It's none of my business who people love as long their happy and they treat each other well.

The same goes for interracial couples
I got into a debate about this once with someone I know.
They asked how I would feel if my DD came home with a black man, or wanted to marry a black man.
I said that I want my DD happy with someone who treats her well and loves her unconditionally.
I would much rather have my DD marry a black man that treats her like a queen than a white man that treats her like a piece of garbage.

I would feel the same way if my girls came home and said they were in love with another woman.
I'd much rather have them be happy with another woman, than with a man that treats them like a piece of garbage.

I'm very open minded when it comes to all these types of topics.
Happiness, being treated with respect and dignity and having love is most important for couples, regardless if those couples are same sex, opposite sex, same race, opposite race, same religion, opposite religion and etc.

If everyone would keep their nose out of everyone's else's business and concentrate on their own business this would be a much better place.

 

[Dizlvr]

You see it from the perspective of someone who thinks it is completely acceptable. Put yourself in the shoes of those who do not believe in it for religious religions (of which I am not). The best way to make something acceptable is to convince everyone to go along. It is called, I say again, compromise. Separate but equal can work, if the conditions are the same. You cannot convince me otherwise.

But the term "marriage" is not exclusive to religion, and there is nothing for them to have to accept, except the reality that 2 people of the same sex can be married just like 2 people of the opposite sex can be. If they can't accept that, then that is a problem they have to fix for themselves, nobody has to fix it for them by compromising anything.

 

[Mrs Eeyore]

It baffles me why anyone would think someone else's choice of partner somehow affects them. I saw a TV show about a woman who believed herself to be in a serious relationship with a carnival ride and frankly I don't care if they legalize that kind of marriage either. It doesn't affect me at all.

I saw on the news this morning that some people are announcing they're moving to Canada in response to the US legalizing gay marriage. They're in for a shock when they get here...

 

[BagOLaughs]

It baffles me why anyone would think someone else's choice of partner somehow affects them. I saw a TV show about a woman who believed herself to be in a serious relationship with a carnival ride and frankly I don't care if they legalize that kind of marriage either. It doesn't affect me at all.

Going a little off topic - I agree with you except when it comes to animals (ie not humans), family members (ie incest), underage and non-consenting marriages. All of which seem to happen anyway Uncommon but true.

Most of these examples will most probably have a negative affect on the members involved (one of the two getting married) or to others around them.

Sex, race, ethnicity, etc... no issues at all.

 

[kamik86]

It baffles me why anyone would think someone else's choice of partner somehow affects them. I saw a TV show about a woman who believed herself to be in a serious relationship with a carnival ride and frankly I don't care if they legalize that kind of marriage either. It doesn't affect me at all.

I saw on the news this morning that some people are announcing they're moving to Canada in response to the US legalizing gay marriage. They're in for a shock when they get here...

Hmm legalizing marriage with inanimate objects would only affect the rest of us in one way... There is going to be a huge expense to figure out laws and how they should apply to that. I mean if I die my husband inherits my assets. Now if someone married to a carnival ride dies does the ride now own property? How does that work?

In more seriousness this would be the only issue with legalizing polygamy. If they were to decide today it was legal I think it practice it would take a few months just to get some of these types of issues worked out... Same sex isn't too hard since it is still just two people (although even there some changes were made. I know they had to change all the Massachusetts marriage licence forms for example). This isn't a reason not to do it... Just a reason it would take a bit more time.

 

[Mrs Eeyore]

Going a little off topic - I agree with you except when it comes to animals (ie not humans), family members (ie incest), underage and non-consenting marriages.

Most of these examples will most probably have a negative affect on the members involved (one of the two getting married) or to others around them.

***, race, ethnicity, etc... no issues at all.

Good point, I should have specified consenting adults and inanimate objects.

 

[U2_rocks!]

You see it from the perspective of someone who thinks it is completely acceptable. Put yourself in the shoes of those who do not believe in it for religious religions (of which I am not). The best way to make something acceptable is to convince everyone to go along. It is called, I say again, compromise. Separate but equal can work, if the conditions are the same. You cannot convince me otherwise.

So when they were looking to make black/white marriages legal, you would have supported "separate but equal"? Call them civil unions instead of marriage? Because, you know, marriage between blacks and whites is abhorrent to some, and we want to get everyone on board .........

 

[Dizlvr]

This belief that same sex marriage is going to lead to people being allowed to marry animals, objects or even polygamy is insane. If marriage between 2 people didn't lead to any of that before, then marriage between 2 people isn't going too now. Anyone who claims that it will is trying to incite a controversy for the ignorant an uniformed to get all worked up about.

 

[BagOLaughs]

This belief that same *** marriage is going to lead to people being allowed to marry animals, objects or even polygamy is insane. If marriage between 2 people didn't lead to any of that before, then marriage between 2 people isn't going too now. Anyone who claims that it will is trying to incite a controversy for the ignorant an uniformed to get all worked up about.

Um... I don't think anyone was implying that at all...

 

[Mrs Eeyore]

Hmm legalizing marriage with inanimate objects would only affect the rest of us in one way... There is going to be a huge expense to figure out laws and how they should apply to that. I mean if I die my husband inherits my assets. Now if someone married to a carnival ride dies does the ride now own property? How does that work?
.

This particular carnival ride had been badly damaged in a tornado and could probably make good use of a nice inheritance.

Seriously though, no one is suggesting that people will be marrying inanimate objects, are they? I've only read the beginning and the end of the thread. In no way did I intend to imply that consenting adults are comparable to broken-down carnival rides (well, maybe some straight husbands but that's another thread). My point is that people are getting worked up to the point of threatening to set themselves on fire over something that should not affect them at all.

 

[Dizlvr]

Um... I don't think anyone was implying that at all...

No here no, but you don't have to look to far in the media to see it. I was continuing the discussion you were a part of above.

 

[BagOLaughs]

This particular carnival ride had been badly damaged in a tornado and could probably make good use of a nice inheritance.

Lol

 

[Rhombus]

Okay flamers, come and get me.
I honestly don't understand why we could not offer the same benefits of marriage to same gender couples, but for the sake of compromise, call it a civil union rather than marriage.

Because same gender couples don't want an inferior, lesser, or lower second-level term to describe their unions, which is what you're endorsing. Why should they compromise and accept that their unions are not as valid at heterosexual marriage, just because some people feel threatened?