So now when my breastfeeding patients ask for a bottle....

[princesspumpkin]

I'll never understand why people think that a mom who chooses to formula feed does so out of the lack of education on the subject. (Just thinking about the OP's last sentence. It's an observation I've made many times before and felt like putting out there--no snarkiness intended just a )

ETA: I agree with the PP who said you sound like a great caregiver. A little understanding and compassion in the early morning hours can go a long way.

Thanks

I understand what you're saying. But after 23 years working post-partum, I can say that there are many new moms who are breastfeeding that aren't aware that giving bottles can interfere with nursing. (no, not always, but yes, sometimes). And I have seen many, many new breastfeeding moms that have difficulty nursing and are exhausted, give formula, finally get rest, and give up nursing all together. Morning comes, they've gotten a good night's sleep, and they choose to continue that routine.

And this list was created by the lactation consultants. I believe that it was in response to their belief that both parents and nurses were initiating formula on breastfeeding babies. I have heard nurses offer formula to breastfeeding moms so that the patient could sleep. I have had patients ask for it as well. I had to read the list to two patients, for the first time the other night. They took it pretty well - I'm just waiting to see how our patient satisfaction surveys come back.

I agree with the pp who stated that information like this should be given during the pregnancy.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I'm a Breastfeeding exlusive kind of chick....

But who wants a lecture?

Same here, I fear moms will feel pressured into it and get frustrated when things don't happen the way they should right away. And when you get tense, well, that complicates things.

Oh, and I know there are breastfeeding nazi's, but there are also people that look at you in disgust if you are nursing in public, and yes, I was ALWAYS discreet. I was young and had my feelings hurt practically everytime I had to go out. What really shocked me is that it was mainly old people giving me the evil eye. I felt like asking them how they were fed when they were babies? Or how do you think Jesus was fed. My goodness, can't mothers just feed their babies without grief from either side???? It still makes me mad and my girls are teens now.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yes, this "lecture" would have made me already feel worse than what I was feeling.

Picture this: Tiny me 4'11" doped up on meds for a c-section after a stalled *****al birth ( I had waaay to much medication). My daughter was delivered at 1:08, I got to see her for all of 5 minuters (I feel asleep due to the meds) and I wake up in ISOLATED recovery at 3:30a.m. Finally get taken to my recovery room at 5 a.m. and my daughter is finally brought to my room at 6 a.m.

I try to breastfeed, but it's not working. Throughout the day I get help from the lactation consultant, but she's still not taking to it. When she does feed, it's from bottles, but I keep trying.

Next day, I am still out of it, but give breastfeeding a try on and off. Daughter is having none of it, and my "headlights" were inverted. We try shields, etc, but daughter will not do the work (her latch was fine, but she just didn;t like havign to do the work). Formula for another day.

Day three I am still at the hospital, having had an overnight blodd transfusion. I am finally feeling tons better, and trying to get the breastfeeding thing going. Still not working.

After a WEEK, we come home. I feel that once I am relaxed in my own home and have less visitors breastfeeding will work. I have been trying everyday, but it's still not working. I get an awful spinal headache (did not know it at the time) and spend entire day in bed. My mom and husband feed daughter formula.

By this point, I start getting really depressed. I feel that everyone has bonded with my daughter so easily, and I haven't yet because breastfeeding is not working, I feel run over by a bus. Daughter begins to cry everytime I hold her, so I hand her off to others. Still plugging away at breastfeeding, but DD is just not doing it/liking it. I pump very little and try to give her the pumped milk when I can.

One week and two days after DD is born, I recognize that I am depressed, and thankfully that recognition came early. I decide it's not worth my mental health to keep pressing this, so I make the decision to stop any attempt at breastfeeding.....even pumping was making me feel bad.

Two days after my decision, I feel better. I hold DD, treasure moments with her, and she doesn't cry when I come near.......

It was a very hard decision for me to make, but I knew that my daughter needed a sane Mommy over anything else. I am not making light of anyone who falls in PPD, but I am thankful that I recognized how off I felt, and that I was wrong to think that DD didn't like me. However, it still stings me when the breastfeeding nazis come out and make any woman feel bad about her decision to breastfeed or not. I always get "you didn't try hard enough" when I share my story, and I have to tell you that the lactation consultants practically camped out in my hospital room EVERYDAY I was there. I was not afraid to call/use them. I took any and all advice.

Anyway, yes, a bleary eyed new mom at 2 a.m. will really look forward to hearing this [sarcasm].

Your story really mirrors mine. After a very hard labor that lasted over 30 hours, they gave my son a bottle since he was born with a fever, and he got several more throughout that first day and night. I gave birth at 4:30 a.m. and all that day, I was not able to sleep. By the time I got home a scant 30 hours after giving birth (this was in 1994 when they released you very quickly, heck I only got two days two years later when I had a c section after my dd was born) I was so sleep deprived and overhwhelmed and it just got worse. I gave it a very hard try to with my son but the end result was that I became so depressed I was really in a bad way. Lucky for me, at the time I gave birth, my hospital had gotten a grant. Each new mom got a visit from a visiting nurse within a week after giving birth. That kind woman came out to my home, put me at ease and told me my son would do very well on a bottle and to please not feel guilty. I can still see that woman to this day, over 15 years later! She was a Godsend. I sent my husband to the store and it was on that day, I realized I was a good mom and that I was probably going to survive that first month after all! The night before I was literally thinking my son hated me and that was why he wouldn't latch. Between hormones and lack of sleep, I was simply incapable of realizing that those bottles back in the hospital plus issues I had physically were making this all much more diffcult than I had ever imagined.

I still will occasionally feel guilty, why I don't know. But then again I do. Its usually a result from reading something someone writes about how much better breastfeeding is or from even having someone tell me how much harder I should have tried. Just in the last year, the subject somehow came up with friends and when they found out I hadn't breastfed my son for the most part, the husband in particular got very sarcastic and judgemental. Of course, this guy has no children of his own but lo and behold he's an expert on nursing. Good for him. I wish him luck when he gives it a try in his next life.

 

[tzolkin]

...and why is it assumed that the mothers NEED educating? It's as though they think if a mother chooses to formula feed she must be ignorant on the benefits of nursing.

And there are some women who can't nurse for medical reason, medicine they are one, illnesses they may have and they may already feel bad about not being able to breastfeed and I'm sure this policy will just make them feel worse.

Perhaps I misread the original post, but I didn't think this list was to be read/presented to mothers who chose to bottlefeed instead of breastfeed. I thought it was only for those who expressed that they wanted to breastfeed and was to inform them that there may be issues if they introduce a bottle during the first few days.

 

[mking624]

When DS was born, it was my every intention to breastfeed him. He just would not do it. During my three days at the hospital, I had worked with three different lactation consultants who tried to help me with the situation. Even they couldn't get him to take my breast. Meanwhile, he wasn't getting anything to eat and they had to supplement formula. When I was discharged, I continued to attempt breastfeeding. I had more meetings with lactation consultants, used nipple shields...everything. He would not latch on. So I began pumping. At first, I was pumping 4 ounces a day. So through the day he was getting some breastmilk and some formula. In spite of timed/regular pumping to make sure my milk supply would not decrease, it wound up decreasing to where I was lucky if I got half an ounce total. DS went to formula exclusively.

I truly did everything I could to breastfeed. It just wouldn't happen. I would have been angry if someone read me a list of those things. The bottom line was that my son needed to be nourished and that's exactly what I did. It stressed me out so much and this just would have piled on unnecessary guilt.

 

[pilotwife_02]

Perhaps I misread the original post, but I didn't think this list was to be read/presented to mothers who chose to bottlefeed instead of breastfeed. I thought it was only for those who expressed that they wanted to breastfeed and was to inform them that there may be issues if they introduce a bottle during the first few days.

Perhaps you're right, maybe the OP can tell us if there is something written on the patient's charts that make the nurses aware of this. I just know that with all the nurse and nurse's aides I had while in the hospital they had a hard time keeping facts about me and my baby straight so it could be easy to get a bottle feeding mom mixed up with a nursing mom.

Edited to add: I see the OP answered as I was posting

 

[princesspumpkin]

Perhaps I misread the original post, but I didn't think this list was to be read/presented to mothers who chose to bottlefeed instead of breastfeed. I thought it was only for those who expressed that they wanted to breastfeed and was to inform them that there may be issues if they introduce a bottle during the first few days.

No, you are right. It's for patients who are already nursing, but request formula as well.

 

[Luv2trav]

I think I would punch you(not that I would really punch you but I would be in my head) or seriously tell you off if you read me that list at 2am... I bottled fed both of my babies and I DO NOT regret it one bit. They are both well adjusted, healthy, NORMAL weight and are very bright..

 

[bumbershoot]

When I had my first child, I had issues with the nurses and did not get any support for breastfeeding. I had been in labor for 3 days, had DD at 12:30 in the afternoon and still didn't sleep. She screamed the entire night and I just paced back and forth in my room with her. Every half hour or so a nurse would come in and ask, "Do you want me to get a bottle for you?" "I can take her to the nursery and give her a bottle" "Why don't you just give/let us give her a bottle?" They seemed to get more and more annoyed as the night went on, but not once did anyone offer any help with breastfeeding or any suggestions other than a bottle.sad2:

I'm so sorry for that last bit.

The ONE good thing I can say about the house of horrors where I ended up having my son is that they had great lactation nurses. And the nurses stayed the hades away from me after a few interactions.

And then they kicked me out 42 hours post-op (no bathroom trips, no gasses expelled, and 2 millieconds of stethoscope on the belly to declare "bowel sounds"), which is what SAVED our nursing relationship, as my milk didn't come in until the 5th day. Even my LLL aunt was getting snippy with me, but I knew what I was doing. Heck, I didn't even need LLL, as I still remember nursing, and watched my mom and stepmom nurse my sibs a total of 10 years! But if I'd been in that hospital with people breathing down my neck, it would have been destroyed.

I agree.
...and why is it assumed that the mothers NEED educating? It's as though they think if a mother chooses to formula feed she must be ignorant on the benefits of nursing.

Because very very very many women don't think things through AT ALL. So they DO need educating.

One of the two friends who truly supported me in a time of need, who was so loving and caring with me...she always wanted to bottle-feed a baby. And she did. She absolutely IGNORED all of the knowledge that the OP is talking about, and the info that babies fed formula have higher rates of blood sugar problems...her mom has diabetes, she got gestational which is linked with a higher chance of being diagnosed with "normal" diabetes later...but she just flat out decided that it just wasn't worth the benefits to her child, because it would be so "gross" for her.

I never said a word to her about it; I knew her feelings and knew she knew all the stuff and flat out didn't care...but it still boggles my mind.




The time when women are struggling is the time to HELP them, not give in to what seems to be the easiest thing. By reminding women of the problems with formula, you are treating them as adults who might have simply forgotten what they already knew. Many a nurse in the hospital has destroyed nursing relationships by offering, or not trying to help a woman when she's in need of assistance, and just bringing the formula over.

I have a friend who nursed her daughter for awhile. Her mom watched the baby while my friend went to work. Her mom would toss the b'milk bottles and give the baby formula. Eventually, my friend gave up.

She now has a new baby (her daughter is 8), and she is reveling in being able to nurse him and pump for him without anyone interfering. She is so happy and proud. I'm so glad no one interfered with her this time!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

I could have written your post verbatim. I went through almost exactly the same thing. Difficult ******l birth, lots of blood loss, dd wouldn't nurse, not enough milk to feed her porperly, depression brought on by not being able to nurse when EVERYONE is telling me I absolutely have to or DD will be damaged. My dd also started crying every time I held her and it made things worse. It took me two weeks, and a wonderful ped. who told me it was ok before I finally gave in, and you know what, everything turned out ok. I have a healthy happy six year old! I wish someone had told me sooner that I was nto a failure as a mom because I couldn't nurse DD. I sometimes get the "you didn't try hard enough" bit too, and it is really hurtful even now. I simply could not produce enough milk to maintain DD's weiht or get her working effectively to consume what little I was producing, even with help and support. It just wasn't working.

Same for me except it took me 3 months & a failure to thrive diagnosis to say enough is enough. They all said my supply would get better her latch would get better just give it time. Yeah well I gave it time.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No, you are right. It's for patients who are already nursing, but request formula as well.

I find that unethical--it should be for all the patients or none of them.

It is wrong to single out BFing mothers for the lecture while allowing other moms to go "Free" so to speak.

Some moms actually choose to mix and do both from the start. Do they not get the lecture since they declared their formula intent?

 

[luvmy3]

OP, you said the lactation consultants came up with the list, did they provide you with all the studies that prove their "theories"? I don't consider it education unless you are teaching women facts, not "what ifs". Has being formula fed suddenly been proven detrimental to a babies health, if not then all thats needed during that phone call is some emotional support and a gentle reminder that introducing the bottle (even with breast milk) too early can interfere with nursing. Tell the mother that if she chooses to supplement her nursing with formula there are things that people believe to be true and offer her the info if she asks, making sure you let her know if they are truly proven or just still theories, I appreciate information, what I wouldn't appreciate is pushing an agenda, KWIM.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I will never understand why women seem to go to "War" over the whole breastfeeding/bottle-feeding issue. Women, in general, seem to champion the idea of "my body, my rights," yet get all bent out of shape on this issue.

My DW would have probably bonked you on the head, too. Lightly, mind you, but enough to say, get that lecture out of here!

We read tons of books and were well educated, even met with a lactation consultant, who has become a close family friend, now. We knew all the "dangers" of mixing bottle & breast feeding. We did it anyway with 2 kids. There was never any sort of nipple confusion, or problem going back and forth. It gave me a chance to feed and connect with our babies, and gave DW a chance to get some rest away from breastfeeding/being hooked up to the "milking machine" as we called it.

I don't like when Hospitals try to push an agenda. They should be there to support the patient and make them comfortable. That means, when a breastfeeding mother wants to supplement with a bottle at 2am, then you go get a bottle, not a list or a lecture. I would say the same to the PP who was breastfeeding and kept being offered a bottle...it's not the Hospital staff's place to interject.

 

[threecrazykids]

Is it possible the mother planned on maybe pumping (or had already pumped) and wanted to give the baby a bottle WITH BREASTMILK? When I went into the hospital I told them right away that I planned on both bottle feeding AND breastfeeding so both my DH and I could share in feeding. Isn't the point that the baby gets BREASTMILK, not HOW they receive it? I just don't get that whole thing...and I think if you breastfeed AND do a bottle right from the start they will be accustomed to both? I know some babies will prefer one over the other, but in all of my kids they were able to switch up between bottle and breast with no issues.

 

[mjkacmom]

I still remember when I was in the hospital with ds12, begging for a bottle. I was never able to exclusively bf dd13 for medical reasons, so I nursed, pumped, and supplemented for 6 weeks, before I finally gave up, exhausted. I decided to give it as shot with ds.

They brought him to me every 2 hours at night, apologizing, but he just kept crying. I asked for a bottle, and was turned down. When it was time for me to go home from the hospital, I was a wreck, and finally marched down to the nursery, grabbed a bottle, and fed him (he sucked that down!).

Turns out he ended up having reflux, and for the first year of his life, it took him 15 minutes per ounce of formula. He was not a happy baby! I also had PPD, which would've been much worse if I had to do the feeding routine I had to do with dd.

What you are doing is cruel - after going through labor and childbirth, the last thing women need is a guilt trip. Pregnant women have 9 months to research - they know all of the statistics. It's up to them to decide.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Is it possible the mother planned on maybe pumping (or had already pumped) and wanted to give the baby a bottle WITH BREASTMILK? When I went into the hospital I told them right away that I planned on both bottle feeding AND breastfeeding so both my DH and I could share in feeding. Isn't the point that the baby gets BREASTMILK, not HOW they receive it? I just don't get that whole thing...and I think if you breastfeed AND do a bottle right from the start they will be accustomed to both? I know some babies will prefer one over the other, but in all of my kids they were able to switch up between bottle and breast with no issues.

I had no problems with breastfeeding, unless you count the DD's risk of drowning when the floodgates opened However, I regretted not introducing a bottle right away. At that time, they recommended waiting at least 3 weeks before introducing a pumped bottle to decrease nipple confusion. Well, by 3 weeks old, she had developed her preference and would NOT take a bottle at all. My poor husband never once got to feed her and I never once got a break, until she was on solids and a sippy cup. If I were to have another baby, there would be one bottle a day in there somewhere right from the start.

I wouldn't have a problem with being read 'the list'. I am a nurse and I know they are just doing their jobs. If there is someone is out there that it helps, then who am I to tell them to stop because I don't need the info. I would just thank them politely and take the bottle anyway.

 

[Colleen27]

I agree.
...and why is it assumed that the mothers NEED educating? It's as though they think if a mother chooses to formula feed she must be ignorant on the benefits of nursing.

I can understand the need for education - a lot of moms don't realize that giving bottles early on (when breastfeeding is frustrating for the baby as well as the mother) can interfere with the "learning" process. But a scripted lecture sounds like a terrible way of addressing that issue. I suspect that, as someone said earlier, it is a way of discouraging nurses from being the ones to suggest (which to a lot of women sounds like a recommendation) formula. I nursed all three of mine and made my plans clear from the start, but with two of three I had nurses suggesting bottles on late-night checks.

I like the way our hospital handles it now. In normal, uncomplicated deliveries, nurses aren't to suggest/offer bottles to women who indicated on their registration that they want to breastfeed. They will of course respond to a parent's request for a bottle, but the parents have to be the ones to ask(the rooming-in issue is handled the same; healthy babies only go to the nursery if the parents ask for a break). Reportedly that move alone has significantly reduced the number of babies receiving bottles.

 

[jodifla]

This is a TOTAL bunch of BS and I wouldn't do it.

I was one of those women who felt coerced to breastfeed because of my friends and because it's the PC thing to do. But my son HATED it, and it made me hate it too.

What I realized about two weeks in was that my milk wasn't in. I was STARVING my child....no wonder he welcomed those bottles! (To my hospital's credit, they called to check on how we were doing. When they asked for the diaper count, they immediately told me to get a bottle for him.)

He also had reflux, and the typical breastfeeding positions were making him sick.

One of the HAPPIEST days of my life is when I chucked the breast feeding.

 

[acename]

Same here, I fear moms will feel pressured into it and get frustrated when things don't happen the way they should right away. And when you get tense, well, that complicates things.

Oh, and I know there are breastfeeding nazi's, but there are also people that look at you in disgust if you are nursing in public, and yes, I was ALWAYS discreet. I was young and had my feelings hurt practically everytime I had to go out. What really shocked me is that it was mainly old people giving me the evil eye. I felt like asking them how they were fed when they were babies? Or how do you think Jesus was fed. My goodness, can't mothers just feed their babies without grief from either side???? It still makes me mad and my girls are teens now.

I seriously cracked up at this. I'm so going to use it next time someone gives me grief.

like some PP, my daughter never took to breastfeeding. We tried for almost a month, and she and I were stressed the whole time. Once we started bottle feeding, she was a perfectly happy baby and I was sane again. To me, that's better for the baby. If someone had made me feel like I was hurting my baby because of that, I would have lost it.

With my son, he latched the second we tried and has had no problems. He loves to eat .

 

[Heidict]

I wanted to breastfeed and had planned to. However, DD was whisked off to NICU after my c-section and they promptly feed her with a bottle. She was in NICU for 3 days and during that time I pumped what I could, but it was not enough to keep a mouse alive, so they kept bottle feeding her.

When I finally got her to my room, she would not latch. She had no interest in BF as she was happy with her bottle at that point. Of course, the hospital was of no help in the BF department. I did not speak with or see even 1 lactation consultant during my 4 days there. Even after asking the nurses questions and for help.

So, I pumped for a couple of months at home and gave her what ever came out along with formula. Finally, it just got to be to much and took so much time that I finally dried up.

I can just imagine if a nurse had started in on me with a list like that in the middle of the night. It would not have been a pretty sight.