So Jeff... we have been waiting patiently!!!

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Tell us, how did the wedding go? How much trouble did you get into??

Enquiring minds want to know!!

 

[NHMickey]

Hello... Hmm he must have not made bail yet.

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

You ever have one of those experiences where no matter what you try to do, things turn out just a little different? Well, that is kind of what my life is like. Even when I try to take things seriously and do the right thing, just enough chaos and mayhem ensues to make everyone believe that I am totally insane. Take for example my oldest daughter Ashley’s wedding. As the father of the bride, there are certain things expected of you. Your daughter’s wedding is something that she has been dreaming about her entire life so when that life event begins to unfurl, you as a father try to do everything in your power to make it the most special thing in the world, or so you think.
Having just been through this experience, I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no way that you as a father can possibly live up to the dreams of an infatuated bride to be. But this story is best told from the beginning if it is to make any sense at all.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

It all started last November when Ashley called from college to ask if she could fly home for Thanksgiving. We had decided before she ever left for school that she was going to stay in school during November but we would fly her home for Christmas. Not only had she decided these plans should change, she also wanted to know if she could bring a friend home. “Bring a friend home”, mark my words dads of the world that this is a code more diabolical than any message ever devised by the CIA. In truth, what these four words mean is, “I am about to unleash the evils of Hades upon you and your family and introduce volumes of pain and suffering upon you and your posterity while single-handedly draining all financial resources you ever thought of saving for your retirement.” Through stealth maneuvering and undercover sibling reconnaissance we were able to glean a bit of information about this so-called “friend”. He was from Texas, is interested in computers, is into sword fighting, and consumes the same amount of food as a small third-world country. In the back of my mind I thought of what I had envisioned would be the perfect man who would date my daughter. Other than the Texas living, computer loving, sword fighting, human garbage disposal traits; this guy sounded perfect. Well Trina and I were to pick Ashley and Eli up from the airport just before Thanksgiving. Hmm, now we have a name to put with a visual, Eli. I have to admit the first thing that popped into my mind was a guy in a suit with a bow tie trying to make gin out of cotton and I was really grateful that wasn’t the case when I saw him. We picked the two of them up at the airport in the Suburban which has the built in DVD. We let them watch movies all the way home (saved us the trouble of managing the awkward silences). Of course the only movie I thought to bring was Meet the Parents. The long holiday weekend seemed to stretch for weeks as we tried to understand where this was all going. That finally became relatively clear when on Saturday night Ashley mysteriously disappeared like a redneck during UFO season. Trina also seemed to vanish under some kind of invisibility cloak leaving only Eli and I. I could tell he was extremely nervous but I could not tell whether that was a result of him not knowing what to say or if it was just that I decided this would be a great time to sharpen every knife in the kitchen so that they were sharper than the masters of Ginzu. In either event, the boy mustered enough courage to begin to talk (although his voice did crack a few times). He started out by professing his admiration for my parenting skills and how much he enjoyed Ashley’s company. This of course gave me the opportunity to show him how sharp these knives were by randomly grabbing fruits and vegetables and severing them into multiple pieces effortlessly. Timing is everything in life and this guy needs a new watch. When he finally got up the courage to query whether he could have my blessing to ask Ashley to marry him, the knife slipped out of my hand and stuck into the counter. Now I could not have planned that in a million years but that was indeed a Kodak moment. Once I dislodged the knife and gently set it down, I motioned him to a chair and suggested that he might want to exhale at least as often as he inhales. We had a very long and candid discussion of the personality flaws of my daughter as I tried to explain the path he was about to undertake. This discussion lasted a good hour (I never said my kids were perfect) and in the end he had sweat pouring off him like an August Florida afternoon. I picked up my knives and left him to contemplate the events of the evening. When they left the next day to return to school, I laid even money we may never see him again.

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

Over the course of the next month, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had completely diffused a potentially dangerous situation while preserving a lovely holiday weekend and even managed to finish my Christmas shopping. It was at this point that I was lulled into some sort of hypnotic trance whereby reality would begin to morph into something completely unexpected. I had totally underestimated the beguiling nature of the female of the species and it would seem my daughter has been taking some kind of extra credit male magnetism classes at school. Because a mere six days before she was to arrive home for Christmas break we received a phone call very late one evening. On the other end was some sort of giggling maniac who had possessed our daughter. Between squeals we were able to make out, “I’m in Spades!” Well, that didn’t seem quite right so after I took the pillow out of my ear and asked her to repeat what she said, "I'm engaged!" I suddenly realized that the Empire had just struck back. The Christmas holiday was filled with the usual revelry with just a little added to it. Each sentence spoken for nearly three weeks ended with the same five words, “have you seen my ring?”

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

As Ashley went back to school, I thought perhaps life would begin to get back to normal. I have never been so wrong in my life. Nearly every night we heard from her as she juggled school along with wedding planning. Now having planned a few events of my own over the course of my life, I thought I was extremely qualified to provide input and insight to make this an event to remember. So with each phone call I offered the wisdom I had gathered as a result of my life experiences. Obviously, the first thing that needed to be decided was a date. I just assumed that this wedding would be right after the World Series. After all, who ever heard of a wedding during baseball season? Imagine my surprise when Ashley and Eli selected June 18. I immediately ran to the refrigerator to check the Diamondbacks schedule. Whew, I dodged a bullet there. The Diamondbacks would be in Houston. I was a little worried that we might have a problem and I happened to wonder out loud whether we could time this so the father could give away the bride during the seventh inning stretch. That comment seemed to be more controversial than I had originally anticipated. The next decision to be made seemed to be color selection for the wedding. I figured this would be a no-brainer. I mean really, are there any colors besides Purple and Teal? I would even relinquish and allow the use of black and copper but only as accents. After making that comment I glanced at Trina and Ashley who both had the same look on their faces, utter disbelief. Soon after this I found myself left out of many wedding discussions. I did try to get involved when they met with the caterer. That discussion didn’t last long when I suggested that hot dogs, peanuts, popcorn and cotton candy would be very cool. I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to wedding planning, all women have the same facial muscle structure since I kept getting the same look regardless of what I suggested. Finally, I was given an assignment. I was responsible for music for the reception dance. I was not to pick the music, I was just supposed to take the list of songs they had identified and put those songs on CDs in the order I was given. I could have sworn I heard mother and daughter exchange whispers to the effect that there was no way I could mess that up. Ah, but that is where they were wrong. You see I know more about music and compression than anyone gave me credit for and it just so happened that I was able to squeeze out around 4:58 from each CD meaning I had just enough space on each CD for one additional song and since I had complied with their entire list, I figured I was free to select whatever I thought would be appropriate. This just might work. Now as the wedding grew nearer, Trina, Ashley and Eli worked feverishly on plans for everything. Strangely enough, I was called out of town the week before the wedding so I was not around for seven days and would return home three days before the big event, funny how that worked out. They did miscalculate one thing though, I had to be fitted for a tux. So while everyone else went in to be measured, I lounged around San Francisco with a digital video camera taking pictures of sea lions (don’t ask, that is a whole other adventure). On the day I returned to Phoenix, I was met at the airport by two stressed out women who drove me straight to the Tux shop. Well I had not really planned for this as I was in my shorts, a polo shirt, and flip flops. The lady at the Tux shop shoved a stack of clothes at me and threw me in a dressing room. Now I don’t exactly know who developed this line of clothing but I have a feeling that they were some kind of masochist. There were like a million buttons but none on the cuffs of the sleeves. The tie didn’t really tie but then it didn’t clip on either. The pants had a zipper and like 3 buttons (I guess just in case one popped off when you slid into second base is all I can figure). The pants didn’t have belt loops but had buckles on the sides that you could slide back and forth. I sat in that room and analyzed each piece for about 20 minutes. It probably would have gone on longer except Trina, Ashley and the Tux lady were beating on the door yelling at me to get dressed. So I threw all the clothing on in whatever order it was on the hanger and walked out. I was again met with the same facial expression I have become accustomed to as the three of them stood in horror. How was I supposed to know that cumber thing was not a back support mechanism to help you lift stuff without hurting your back? But that was not the worst of it. They all stood there staring at my feet. I tried to explain that I didn’t like the shoes either but at least they were on the right feet. It seems the shoes were not the problem. Rather they seemed a little stressed about my lack of socks. Well I figured if they weren’t in the bag of clothes they gave me, they must be optional and I opted out. At this point Ashley started crying, Trina tapped her foot and folded her arms and the Tux lady muttered something about should have stayed in school instead of dropping out. I really didn’t get that. So Ashley made me promise that I would wear socks and the tux was changed to have a vest instead of cummerbund. I again tried to help by asking if I could get one of those cool Monopoly hats since I was already dressed pretty much like a game piece. Ashley flatly stated that I could not wear a top hat. I asked for clarification and she again repeated that top hats would not be allowed. With that little bit of knowledge I decided that if any other hats were not to be worn she would have specified it. So Dakota and I decided if the bridesmaids were going to get jewelry for dressing up we should get something too and since neither of us wanted a necklace we went one step better. We got matching Diamondbacks hats. I decided that this accessory would be best kept secret until after the wedding ceremony. No use telling anyone sooner otherwise everyone would want one and I wasn’t sure I could find everyone’s sizes this close to the wedding.
Two days before the wedding, Trina and Ashley sent me to do some last minute things since they were busy with other emergencies. It seems that the bridesmaid’s dresses were not done and would not be delivered until early the next morning which again filled our house with the sounds of tears and wailing by mother and daughter. Ashley and Eli were going to Acapulco Mexico for their honeymoon and they found that their flight had been cancelled so they were scrambling to find alternative travel plans. I was to go over to the reception center to make sure everything was ok then go to the caterer and give her final payment. So I go into the reception place and they have all the tables and the dance floor set up for the big event. My mouth nearly hits the floor. Every table is done in navy blue and burgundy. My daughter has the whole place looking like an Atlanta Braves team shop! Are you kidding me? We cannot have a whole wedding look like the National League East, no way! So I find the guy in charge and tell him that we have to have ONE table in purple and teal just so the NL West has representation. There was one table kind of in front so I figured that one would be fine. He explained that was the head table so I told him that would be cool since as far as I was concerned the NL West was always ahead of the NL East. He nodded and said he would take care of it. I also gave him the CDs for the wedding and explained that song number two was the daddy daughter dance and not to be worried if people kind of stared blankly when it played, everything would be cool. After getting that potential problem resolved, I went over to the caterer to pay her. She was getting the food ready and so I stopped to sample stuff. It was all pretty good but I didn’t see any hot dogs, peanuts or cracker jacks. She said nothing like that was ordered. I was shocked; there was obviously some kind of mistake. I told her we probably didn’t have time to fix everything but I would salvage what I could. I rushed over to Sam’s Club and picked up 600 Otter Pops and rushed them over to the Reception Center to get them in the freezer so they would be frozen for the night of the reception. I was pretty proud of myself. I had probably single-handedly saved this event. Now I am not one to take credit for things so I decided I would let others get the glory rather than me.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

With the wedding one day away, time was running out and the emergencies just kept coming. In the morning, we got a call from the florist. The flowers missed their plane in Miami and probably would not make it for the wedding. They may make it for the reception but it would be close. These flowers were flying in from Chili or Columbia or someplace that started with a “C” I don’t remember. I jumped into action calling around for alternatives. My sister-in-law works in the floral industry so I had some connections. I called to see if they had any purple or teal flowers laying around that we could put together real fast. She said they didn’t but they did have some nice roses. Roses, what kind of outfit was this? I wanted something nice and purple and she was suggesting red roses. Well I figured that was better than nothing but I did ask if she could put some purple ribbon on it at least. We went in to get our tuxes fitted for the final time and I was again wearing my shorts and flip flops and once again they didn’t give me socks so my assumption was they truly were optional. Everything fit and the lady made sure I didn’t have a Monopoly hat so everything was cool. Eli’s family came into town and there was supposed to be a party at our house that night for like 80 people. I spent the whole night grilling hamburgers and hot dogs (see I told you it was a good idea to have hot dogs some time during this event) and watching the Diamondbacks play the Astros. As is usually the case this season, the Diamondbacks lost a tough ball game. If only their luck would change. What we needed was a miracle.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

After what seemed like an eternity of planning, the day of the wedding finally arrived, at least that is what the clock said. It was well after midnight and the house was still buzzing with activities. The bridesmaid dresses arrived at 1 AM and Trina rushed to get them pressed and ready. Ashley was working on her hair trying desperately to make sure each strand was in its proper place. I was working on the photo montage that was supposed to be burned to DVD to play at the reception later that night. At around 2:30 AM I went looking for Trina to review my work. I found her in our bedroom with her journal. She was reading what she had written 22 years ago this night. You see Ashley and Eli were being married on our anniversary. They chose this day as an honor to us which was somewhat eerie since we had selected this date to honor my grandparents who were very special to me. Trina motioned me over so that she could read passages to me. We sat on the bed laughing at all the struggles we had and yet how happy we were. For example, she wrote about our honeymoon. We were poor college students at the time we were married and had little money for an elaborate trip. We planned to go camping through Yellowstone Park for our honeymoon. She wrote about our first meals together and I began to calculate all that we ate during our week-long trip. Grand total, we ate one hamburger, three cans of soda, and five candy bars. When we finally finished reading and laughing about all the experiences we had together, we went to bed. Some 90 minutes later the alarm went off and we had to be up and out the door. I got up and dressed in what I thought were very nice clothes. Regardless of my careful grooming habits, I was stopped at the door. With Trina on my left and Ashley on my right the both reached down and raised the cuffs of my trousers. I had no idea that there would be a sock check point. I did pass as I was wearing socks and they even matched my pants. Unfortunately, they didn’t match each other so I was sent back to find a pair that were equal and black. While I was redressing, we got a phone call from the florist. They were able to get the flowers done after all so we needed to pick them up on our way. It seems the discussion we had yesterday when I explained that they would be hearing from the law offices of Wapner and Judy was enough to persuade them to get stuff to us. What this really meant was that we now owned two sets of wedding flowers. It was going to look like Ashley and Eli were married in a rain forest with all the plants we were going to have around. We left to start the day with pre-wedding pictures. I was the videographer while Trina followed along for digital shots. We were of course following the photographer who was led by Ashley and Eli. It was kind of like a really bad Conga line snaking its way around the grounds stopping momentarily to snap pictures. During the photo session, Ashley was posed on the steps. While standing there, a psycho bird flew at about the speed of sound right at a window hitting it hard. It bounced off and was pretty much dead. It attempted to fly and went right for Ashley’s head. Ashley freaked out and dove for cover. The bird missed the people but hit the wall and fell backwards landing in the trash can dead. I have to tell you, I was pretty impressed that a bird would throw itself away before dying just so the church grounds would not be messy.
After pictures, we went in for the wedding ceremony. It was a beautiful thing as Ashley and Eli held hands and exchanged vows professing their love for each other and their commitment to making their marriage work. I happened to be one of the witnesses which meant I had to sign a stack of papers making this thing official in the eyes of the state of Arizona. When I finally got done signing, I turned to the lady and asked her where my car was. She looked very confused so I figured I needed to help her. I explained that every time in the past when I signed my name that many times I got a new car and 48 months of payments so I was just curious when the car would be delivered. The ceremony went fairly well and I only got in trouble twice. Once with the car financing lady and the other time when I suggested that we should do the wave when the bride and groom entered. These people obviously do not understand how to have fun. After the ceremony, we were back outside for more pictures. This was about 1:00 PM which means the average temperature in Mesa Arizona was approximately 113 degrees which coincidently is about the same temperature as the surface of the sun. After 30 minutes of Kodak moments, everyone was ready to leave. There was a wedding lunch planned for 3:00 PM that afternoon so we had a couple of hours. The kids went with Trina’s family while she and I went home to check on Dog Dot Com. When we got home, I explained to Trina that there was no way I was going to eat while wearing a tie and that I was definitely going to change clothes. She objected but before she could state her case, I was already in shorts and a polo shirt. I took my socks off and carefully folded them. I had thought about just putting them in the hamper but realized I would be a dead man if I tried such a daring escape. So doing my best impression of a CIA agent passing international secrets, I took the priceless socks and handed them to Trina for safe keeping. I wanted it documented that I was complying with the sock Nazis and that I was not trying to circumvent the dress code. Once that was taken care of, I went downstairs and laid on the couch. Trina laid down upstairs and we figured we had about 30 minutes before we had to leave. That was the last thing I remember until the phone rang at 3:20 PM (20 minutes past when we were supposed to be at lunch). What occurred next was reminiscent of an old Three Stooges movie as we bounced from room to room looking for everything from shoes to keys to cameras. We rushed out of the house and into the Suburban. I felt like Batman when he sees the bat signal above Commissioner Gordon’s office. We were weaving in and out of traffic while the theme song from Speed Racer played over and over in my head. In record time, we were at the luncheon in less than 10 minutes (it is usually a 35 minute drive).


Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

The luncheon was planned by Ashley and Eli. They selected a restaurant called Buca di Beppo. It is supposed to be very good Italian food served family style. I first heard the name of this establishment in March when they were planning the wedding. I had never eaten there nor had I seen the restaurant but you could hardly forget a name like Buca di Beppo. I happened to go to a spring training baseball game in Scottsdale to see the Cubs play the Giants. On the outfield wall was a sign that simply said, “Buca di Beppo, we have clean bathrooms”. That seemed like a strange advertisement but I didn’t think too much about it. A few days later I went to another spring training game this time in Maryvale where the Brewers were playing the Athletics. On the outfield wall was another add for Buca di Beppo again advertising the cleanliness of their restrooms. Two different parks same message, how very strange. The final week of spring training I went to Tucson to see the Diamondbacks play the White Sox. Along the road on the way back to Phoenix was a billboard for Buca di Beppo. This one stated, “Our water is great to drink”. I was starting to get a little nervous about this dinner thing. We pulled into the parking lot. The building looked fairly nice other than the neon sign in the window facing the street that stated in a rainbow of colors, “We have color television”. As I walked into the restaurant, my mouth hit the floor. It looked like the inside of some kind of Italian shrine as there was not an inch of wall or ceiling space that was not covered in some kind of Italian artifact. They led us back to the room that had been set aside for our party. Along the way I stopped dead in my tracks as I looked to my left at one of the other banquet rooms. It was completely decorated in pope paraphernalia. Pictures of probably every pope ever to hold the job lined the walls. Most of the chairs were fairly normal but one at the head looked like a giant throne similar to the one in the pictures with the pope. In the middle of the circular table was a ceramic bust of Pope John Paul II mounted on a lazy Susan. I just had to try it. I have no idea how long I stood playing spin the pope before Trina came back and yanked me out of the pope room. The food was very good although a guy can stand only so much Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin music especially when sung in Italian. I decided I needed to check out these ballpark famous restrooms so I went searching for them (and to give the pope one last spin). When I entered the restroom, my mouth fell to the floor. Hung on every wall was a picture of a statue of a naked guy carved out of marble. It was like a stone porn show or something. When I went around the corner where the urinals were, there were pictures hung on every wall showing small boys watering anything that was standing in front of them. There was even one picture of a boy practicing his penmanship in snow. I couldn’t believe it. I ran back to the dinner and grabbed Trina and pulled her back to the men’s room. After making sure the coast was clear, I took her in and gave her a tour. She was in shock. About that time Dakota came in to use the bathroom. Trina grabbed him and told him to hold it. The next 45 minutes I did my best impression of tour guide Barbie leading women into the men’s room. I was careful to always finish the tour by washing my hands and commenting on how clean the restrooms were. I’m not sure how nice the women’s restrooms were. None of the ladies in our party dared to go in there after seeing what was in the men’s. The lunch went pretty much without incident. Granted, there were quite a lot of discussions when I arrived in shorts and a polo shirt while everyone else was in suits and dresses but I didn’t pay much attention to that. The owners of the restaurant we a little bit freaked out when I hung my video camera around the neck of Venus de Milo. I told them if I wasn’t worried that a half bare chick with no arms was holding my camera they probably shouldn’t be either.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

From the luncheon, we had to immediately go to the reception center to get dressed for yet another series of pictures. I swear, the FBI’s ten most wanted have had their pictures taken less than what I had to endure this day. I grabbed my tux and went to the dressing room. When I got to the part where I was supposed to put on my socks I could not find them. I went and found Trina to ask her where she had put them. It took us both about 10 seconds to register that in the turmoil before we left the house to go to the luncheon that the socks were sitting on the edge of the bed. I looked at my watch and realized that there was no way for me to get home and back on time. I told Trina not to worry and that I would just wing it. After all, my pants were fairly long. I was pretty sure no one would notice. Every one was dressed and escorted to the garden area where the paparazzi were standing to snap endless poses of everyone. Things were going pretty well until the photographer thought it would be great to have both sets of parents and Ashley and Eli sit on chairs with all the siblings standing behind them. I carefully moved my legs to make sure that no ankle was showing. Then she had to go and have the brilliant idea that everyone should cross their legs to the left. Well my pants were not THAT long so after realizing I was not going to get out of it, I crossed my legs. At that moment, the photographer lowered her camera staring directly at my ankles. This in turn caused everyone else to stop to see what was going on. So there I sat with probably 50 people staring at my legs. At this moment Ashley started to freak out and all I could say was, “it wasn’t my fault, I gave the socks to your mom!” Sorry but in times like this you just have to share the blame. It took a while to calm everyone down and the photographer abandoned the cross your legs shot in exchange for something a little less revealing. Shortly after outdoor pictures, we went into the reception center to have some indoor shots taken. Things were going pretty well until everyone spotted me sitting at the Diamondbacks table. Once again people started freaking out for absolutely no reason. I mean come on; they didn’t really expect me to be sitting at an Atlanta Braves table did they? This revelation caused a flurry of activity where the Diamondbacks table was moved into a corner while a Braves table took center stage. I wasn’t exactly thrilled but what could I do? I mean it might have been different if I had socks on. Just as that got settled down, along came Dakota eating a purple Otter pop. Ashley turned on the kid and asked, “Where did you get that?” Dakota motioned over to the table where there was a whole bouquet of Otter Pops in a mound of ice. Everyone immediately turned their attention to me like they thought I had anything to do with this. I decided now would be a good time to re-tie my shoes and brush off my ankles. The only saving grace I had was that people started to arrive and we had to get ready. The Diamondbacks table had once again moved and this time it was the video table where the photo montage was running all night. I thought the table looked a little bare so I added a couple of hats to aid the decoration. As long as I was at it, it seemed that pictures were pretty much complete so Dakota and I brought out the wedding hats. Given all the other stuff of the night, there was not much said on our accessories. It looked as though everyone was having a good time, especially all the kids as there were tons of them eating Otter Pops.
About half way through the reception, the line broke up as everyone prepared for the dance. Ashley and Eli looked wonderful together as they danced the first dance amid flashes of cameras and video. Once that dance was finished, all eyes turned to the center of the dance floor. Ashley objected at the thought of me wearing a Diamondbacks hat during our dance but figured she really had no choice so we stood there in the center. Ashley leaned close and said, “Where’s the music?” I told her to be patient, everything would be fine. At about that moment there were massive amounts of cheers coming through the loudspeakers. That was followed by the baritone sounds of the immortal Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Carey, “Alright, let me hear you out there. Ah one! Ah two! Ah three! Take me out to the ball game…” Ashley froze, every muscle in her body tensed. Her teeth clenched she whispered, “You didn’t!” Eli took it worse than Ashley. He started running around waving his arms in the air looking for the DJ yelling, “This is not the music! This is not the music!” I just stood there smiling then motioned over to Tiffany who came running out onto the dance floor in her bridesmaid dress. When she got to us she handed me something then ran off. In my hands I had the neon orange lucky Diamondbacks hat that was autographed by Todd Stottlemyre. I placed it upon Ashley’s head and we began to dance. Now this is where the story gets a little weird. At that exact moment, the Arizona Diamondbacks were at the Houston Astros and they were losing 1-0. It was the top of the ninth inning and Houston had just brought in Billy Wagner who is one of the elite closers in the game. After Ashley put on the lucky hat, the Diamondbacks scored two runs in the ninth inning and come from behind to win the game 2-1. As soon as the dance was over, I let her take the hat off and the reception continued. It was a beautiful night filled with all kinds of emotions. We had several people come up to us and say that this reception was quite different from any they had ever experienced. They said it was less of an event and more of a high energy adventure.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

After the reception, Ashley and Eli left for their honeymoon in Acapulco Mexico. They were gone for over a week. During their absence, the Arizona Diamondbacks went on to win twelve games in a row which they have never done in the history of the franchise. They moved from fourth place in the National League West to second place. They are also only one game back in the Wild Card standings. I would like to think that I had a little part in all of this. The mojo of the lucky hat is stronger than mere mortals can comprehend. Although there was a minor two game losing streak after winning 12 in a row, they have now again won 2 (after I had Tiffany wear the lucky hat to bed). Who knows, if it gets into September and we are only one game out of the play-offs I might just put Ashley’s wedding dress on with the lucky hat just to make sure we make the post season. When it comes to baseball, sometimes a guy has to take one for the team.

Jeff

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

Lest you think I am making this up, I have included a few pictures...

I'll try to post a link to the video once I have it finished...

Jeff

 

[JamesD]

Wow, what can I say? This was definitely worth waiting for!
I thought our daughters wedding last year was an event, but your's takes the cake. The most exciting things to happen at our wedding was I stepped on my daughters dress, after I was supposed to lift her veil, which she had forgot to put down in the first place. Also one of the groomsmen locked his knees during the ceremony, fainted, and had to be held up by one of the other guys!
Linda and I just want to say congratulations to you, Trina, and the newlyweds. We're glad everyone survived, and hopefully your lives will get back to some semblance of normalcy. At least normal for you!
Give our love to Trina, and we hope to get to see you again soon.

 

[Eeyore's Pal]

Wow, Jeff!

All I can say is.....I'm definitely letting you do the arrangements for my next wedding.

 

[karinmac]

Boy Jeff,

Between the tears and the laughter, I think Ashley is very lucky to have both you and Trina as parents.

May Ashley and Eli have as long a marriage as you and Trina and may their lives be filled with love and laughter.

 

[JudithM]

You had be laughing so hard until I got to the part about Trina reading her journal the night before your anniversary & Ashley & Eli's wedding. I don't even want to begin to imagine what it must be like in reality to live in your house ! Never a dull moment, huh? I guess any other family events need to wait until after baseball season?

Congratulations to all & much happiness to the bride & groom!

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

Jeff, where were you 12 years ago when Brian & I were planning our wedding??? We sure could have used you on our side!

We didn't have music at our reception (hey, there were only 19 people there, including us, the hostess and minister... we really should have just eloped to Vegas! ) but if there had been, I think it would have been great to dance with my Dad to Harry!

And we love the picture of you and Dakota! Too, too cool!

Congratulations on surviving the day!

Sandy, Brian, Bonnie & Kellie... (great, we'll have 2 weddings to pay for...)

 

[cats mom]

We have been to 3 receptions in the past couple of weeks - none were as fun as yours sounds!
Congrats to you and the newlyweds!

Thanks for the entertaining post

Now - do you think you could muster a little of that lucky hat mojo for the game on Sunday?!!?

We need some help against those big, bad giants

 

[3kids4me]

Hey Jeff...do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

Originally posted by 3kids4me
Hey Jeff...do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

Sorry Sharon, since I don't drink I usually stay away from bars...

Jeff