So frustrated with our finances right now.

[Mommee]

The 100 eating out and 100 at the store were last week. $800 is for the entire month.
.

Oops. sorry. I think I read it too quick

We got rid of our debit cards for a few years until we felt we were actually sticking to our budget. We went to cash for our eating out/fun money categories and set up auto savings. It took some time but we broke our poor spending habits.

 

[crisi]

We have no idea what the OP makes or what percentage of their budget is fun money. But the whole purpose of spouses having fun money is to have fun with it. If her husband wants to buy comics with his fun money, its no different than going hunting or fishing with it, or spending it on tickets to a ball game, or playing golf. Comics now are pretty expensive, and that is his hobby. If they can afford his hobby, that's their business.

If they can't make cuts other places (and it sounds like they probably can) then cutting the amount of fun money each of them gets to have makes sense in order for them to reach their other goals - but even then, you don't get to tell your spouse what they can and can't buy with their fun money if you have a fun money system. If I want to waste mine on manicures that my husband things are stupid, and he wants to waste his on video games, that's why we have fun money.

I suspect what is going on in this is the young couple (and maybe they are 50, I don't know) with fairly new careers, no kids, looking at their relative income and saying "we make a lot of money, we can afford that." The problem is that if each of those purchase decisions is made in isolation, you've quickly spent your way to the poorhouse on raspberry truffle hot fudge sauce for your ice cream, martinis when going out to dinner, red shoes that will look great with that dress you bought last week, and trips to Starbucks. Add in hubby working at Target and saying "humm, we could use a new rug....that's a nice t-shirt....I wanted to see that movie...those are on clearance!" and you have a recipe for just overspending.

1. Your husband should not come home from work with "stuff" - if he doesn't have the discipline to shop only for what is needed on his way home from work, you should make your Target shopping completely separate from his work experience.

2. Plan menus - if you have problems with defrosting (I do), make sure you have shelf stable or "out of the freezer" sorts of foods to pull together into a meal - soup and sandwiches, tuna fish, tofu. Those frozen chicken patties that defrost in 20 minutes if you throw them in a ziploc in warm water in your kitchen sink - a lot of fish works that way too.

3. Watch impulse spending. When people don't know where the money is going, its often going to "I like that song" purchases from iTunes at $.99 a pop.

4. Do a bill review. Look at your credit card statements and get rid of those things that creep on that you don't need or use. That bill monthly Weight Watchers online membership that you haven't logged into in three months, the subscription to Audible, the call waiting on your landline. My husband is notorious for signing up for these, on our last review he had THREE subscription backup plans for his computer.

 

[MrsPete]

Technically we can afford what we are spending. But we aren't getting any savings.

If you're not able to save, then you cannot afford what you're spending. You're right to work towards change. Don't expect to suddenly get it all right next week -- it takes time to develop budgeting skills, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you.

To get into the mindset, go to your library and check out some books on personal finance. I recommend these:

The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Daczyn (might've spelled that name wrong -- originally published as 3 separate books, it's also available in one large tome called The Complete Tightwad Gazette)
All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren

So do people have any tips for me on how to spend less on food?

It's easy to say, "Spend less", but you need some concrete rules to help you get started. Focus on one at a time, give it a couple weeks to become habit . . . then add another. If you try to go from uber-overspending to frugal NOW, you'll just frustrate yourself and give up. Rules:

1. First, work on your beverage budget. The average person spends 30% of his food budget on beverages -- most of which add no nutritional value to his diet. No bottled water (buy a refillable bottle and use it over and over), no one-serving sized sodas, limit alcohol, milk and soda. Begin serving water for meals; serve in a pretty glass. Do not cheat by purchasing $1 sodas from the breakroom at work -- that's food money too, even if it seems to come from another pocket.

2. Recognize that the grocery store is convenient, but it is the most expensive place to buy food. Search out alternative sources in your area. I buy beef 1/4 of a cow at the time from a local co-op. I buy spices (for about 10% of the grocery store cost) from a health food store; everything else they sell is super-expensive. I buy dehydrated foods and baked goods packages from online from Honeyville Farms or The Prepared Pantry (sales only). I buy some things from ethnic food stores. During the summer, I hit the farmer's market once a week; the prices on fresh fruits and veggies are a little lower, but the quality is so much better. No, I don't shop all these stores every week; rather, when I go, I buy LOTS of the items that they sell most cheaply -- for example, the spice store is out of my way, so I tend to shop there only 2-3 times a year, but when I know I'm going that direction, I make a list.

3. If you find the Tightwad Gazette book mentioned above, definitely follow her instructions on making a food prices book. If you start keeping records of what stores sell certain things for rock-bottom prices, you'll know what you should buy where -- this will take a year, but you will see a big difference in your grocery bill. For example, I only buy peanut butter in the HUGE containers at Walmart. I only buy mac-and-cheese at Walmart because they sell it in 5-pack containers for $2.50, whereas Target sells it for $1 or more. In contrast, Target usually "wins" for paper products and chicken -- but their prices on just about everything else are sky high.

4. Focus on inexpensive recipes: Soups, homemade bread, casseroles (but avoid those that call for canned soup -- expensive and laden with sodium), pasta meals. Instead of serving a whole chicken breast for everyone, slice the chicken breast and put it over a pasta or salad meal.

5. Buy in season. For example, you know that turkeys will be a loss leader at .29-.39 at Thanksgiving. Plan to have your freezer empty at that point so you can buy 2-3 to freeze. Canned goods tend to hit rock-bottom in the fall; if you know that you like green beans, buy a case of them when they're .25 each -- that means you won't be buying them later at $1.

6. Use your leftovers. If you have a sliver of meat and veggies, the next night bake potatoes and cover them with those leftovers and some cheese. Leftovers make great soup.

No time for more right now . . .

 

[AntePrincess]

So do people have any tips for me on how to spend less on food? I'm trying to eat healthier too... When I just give up and we eat out all the time we actually do much better... when I'm trying and only doing ok like that week then we really blow the budget. Almost $100 was eating out. Although about $50 was from one trip we always do on Friday's. The rest was littler bits at a time (Subway, Wendy's, Papa Ginos, and panera bread).

Then there was $102.53 in grocery stores... but all in little chunks 6 separate trips.

I guess I just feel overwhelmed. I know we used to spend much less on food 3 years ago before I got this job and yet until I saw it all on paper today I had thought we really did good last week.

Hmm. I am right there with you, Panera was my gateway drug, but I'm pretty reformed now. We've been spending $75/week for four, with about $10 worth of ingredients (beans, flour, spices, etc) pulled out of our pantries for the same set of "variables" you mention. We don't have to drive much, so the only advice I have there is to check out the local Costco gas station.

On food:

• Set a regular grocery shopping day. Mine is Monday. I also have a backup grocery day for when my bottomless pits need another gallon of milk, bag of apples, bananas, cherry tomatoes, clementines, and bananas.
• Sit down the night before your grocery trip, review what you already have on hand, review the sales circulars for your grocery store, and write a menu plan for the week. Try and write a plan for breakfasts, bagged lunches, and snacks. Compile a grocery list from there and from...
• Keep a running grocery list. Whenever you run out of something, write it on the list. That way you are less likely to forget something that you'll need midweek, necessitating a second trip to the grocery store with impulse buys.
• Cook at home, but go easy on yourself. Eating at home is healthier than eating out, so start with just aiming to eat at home more without trying to turn into a nutrition saint right away.
• Keep a handy file of easy dinner plans, for those nights when your original plans are blown and you'd be really tempted to pick up takeout. My go to is salad with shredded roast chicken leftovers and bruscetta on it. Pasta and tomato sauce or anything else you can whip up from the pantry is good.
• Cook less. It's counterintuitive, but the more salads and sandwich nights you do, the less time you'll spend in the kitchen and that makes it all the easier for me to stick to good habits. I almost never cook lunch. I just make up bags of cheesesticks (cut up bricks of mozzarella, I like the flavor better than "string cheese"), hardboiled eggs, rolls, and a big pot of soup ahead of time.

I also tend to shop at Costco and we eat mostly vegetarian, lots of dried beans, rice or barley, potatoes and sweet potatoes, etc, which is what keeps the total down so low. I do one roast a week and flog that roast into meals the rest of the week, right down to the broth. We cook or bake our own desserts. If you can, and you'd enjoy it, you might try gardening, unfortunately there's no convenient place for us.

1. First, work on your beverage budget. The average person spends 30% of his food budget on beverages -- most of which add no nutritional value to his diet. No bottled water (buy a refillable bottle and use it over and over), no one-serving sized sodas, limit alcohol, milk and soda. Begin serving water for meals; serve in a pretty glass. Do not cheat by purchasing $1 sodas from the breakroom at work -- that's food money too, even if it seems to come from another pocket.

So, so true. If you must have something besides water, nonfat milk or homebrewed tea is probably the best. Otherwise, listen to MrsPete, she's on the money.

 

[reginaastralis]

We have no idea what the OP makes or what percentage of their budget is fun money. But the whole purpose of spouses having fun money is to have fun with it. If her husband wants to buy comics with his fun money, its no different than going hunting or fishing with it, or spending it on tickets to a ball game, or playing golf. Comics now are pretty expensive, and that is his hobby. If they can afford his hobby, that's their business.

If they can't make cuts other places (and it sounds like they probably can) then cutting the amount of fun money each of them gets to have makes sense in order for them to reach their other goals - but even then, you don't get to tell your spouse what they can and can't buy with their fun money if you have a fun money system. If I want to waste mine on manicures that my husband things are stupid, and he wants to waste his on video games, that's why we have fun money.

I suspect what is going on in this is the young couple (and maybe they are 50, I don't know) with fairly new careers, no kids, looking at their relative income and saying "we make a lot of money, we can afford that." The problem is that if each of those purchase decisions is made in isolation, you've quickly spent your way to the poorhouse on raspberry truffle hot fudge sauce for your ice cream, martinis when going out to dinner, red shoes that will look great with that dress you bought last week, and trips to Starbucks. Add in hubby working at Target and saying "humm, we could use a new rug....that's a nice t-shirt....I wanted to see that movie...those are on clearance!" and you have a recipe for just overspending.

1. Your husband should not come home from work with "stuff" - if he doesn't have the discipline to shop only for what is needed on his way home from work, you should make your Target shopping completely separate from his work experience.

2. Plan menus - if you have problems with defrosting (I do), make sure you have shelf stable or "out of the freezer" sorts of foods to pull together into a meal - soup and sandwiches, tuna fish, tofu. Those frozen chicken patties that defrost in 20 minutes if you throw them in a ziploc in warm water in your kitchen sink - a lot of fish works that way too.

3. Watch impulse spending. When people don't know where the money is going, its often going to "I like that song" purchases from iTunes at $.99 a pop.

4. Do a bill review. Look at your credit card statements and get rid of those things that creep on that you don't need or use. That bill monthly Weight Watchers online membership that you haven't logged into in three months, the subscription to Audible, the call waiting on your landline. My husband is notorious for signing up for these, on our last review he had THREE subscription backup plans for his computer.

Crisi these are some AWESOME ideas!

OP, I'm in your situation. My bf and I are big spenders ... though we both like to spend it on different things. We've been having fights about money because it's just not adding up. So I went through our statements (and since my bf is a server and gets paid in cash, I know it's not everything) and we'd spent over $1200 on crap. Plain and freaking simple, CRAP.

I was livid. Here we'd been fighting over where the money was going, and how hard he was having to work, and $1200 on crap. GAH! so we sat down and made limits. I know I HAVE to cook, even though sometimes eating out would be so much easier. I know I have to be in charge of the money, because he's so used to spending everything he gets his hands on.

You should sit down and really plan what you're good at. Sure, you might be tired from coming home from work, and you don't want to cook, but take turns. I've started a modified version of once a month cooking, because with our schedules, I just don't have the time to cook everyday. Tonight, I know I could thaw out a chicken dish, cook some rice and steam some broccoli, because the chicken is sitting in a marinade in my freezer. If you want something bad enough, you work for it.

 

[Disneychix]

We have money deposited into both our checking and savings accounts (plus 401K) right from our paychecks. That is how we were able to build a nice savings for a new house.

OP: perhaps something like this will help you since you'll never have to move the money or have it all sitting in one place where you can spend it.

 

[MrsPete]

I feel for two people it is honestly cheaper sometimes to go out for dinner than to cook and especially to cook healthy!

This is absolutely untrue. Almost everything I cook is less expensive than going out; if I do spend as much as going out, it's because I've cooked a large quantity and have leftovers for the next day. Two possibilities:

1. You're just looking at the cost of the entree rather than the whole cost of eating out.
or
2. You're cooking with expensive items (possibly following cooking channel recipes?).

Unfortunately we can't avoid going to Target. Well I can but DH can't... He works there. He gets great discounts but there are many things we buy that we probably don't need because he finds a great deal on them.

I'll tell you what cured me of buying things because they were a great deal: When we were expecting our second child, I had to clean out the closet in the guest room so we could make it into a nursery for her. I found bag after bag of things I'd bought because they were a great price: Baby clothes that hadn't been worn, things that I'd bought because they'd be a great Christmas present for someone, toothpaste. If you don't use it, it's the exact opposite of a great deal. I call that "spaving" -- spending to save, and in the long run it doesn't work.

Now I rarely find anything at Target on clearance that I actually know I'll use within the next few weeks . . . and I spend much less.

And I know you are asking yourself - how in the world are you spending 100 a month in COMICS?! That is squandering it.

Admittedly, I don't value comic books at all, but this is nuts. Spending like that on a hobby is for someone who's financially stable -- not for someone who can't save to get into a house.

Are these comics re-sellable? Could you recoup some of that money? Even if he sells them at a loss, it might be a light bulb moment for him: That is, it might force him to realize, "Hey, I am losing money every time I buy one of these." I had that light bulb moment the first time I had a yard sale: I sold a bunch of stuff for $ . . . but I realized that I had purchased it for $$$. It was better to save the $$$ in the first place.

SOME target's have groceries. Our's does not.


To the one saying DH has to spend less on comic's. No. This one is one that although it frustrates me because I don't see why he likes them so much and they take up sooo much space. I can't tell him no unless he overspends his fun money. That is the deal with the fun money. He may not like what I spend mine on either.

Don't worry about your Target not having groceries. Ours does, and most of their stuff is relatively expensive compared to the other grocery stores.

As for him spending his fun money on comics, that's fair -- I have to change my opinion from above -- if you've agreed that you each have X amount of discretionary money each month, and he is using that for comics, then you have no right to complain about it. He's a working adult and should be entitled to some splurges. Here's what I'd ask though: Is the amount of fun money you're each allotted appropriate? That is, it is reasonable for your income level and your financial goals?

We have no idea what the OP makes or what percentage of their budget is fun money. But the whole purpose of spouses having fun money is to have fun with it. If her husband wants to buy comics with his fun money, its no different than going hunting or fishing with it, or spending it on tickets to a ball game, or playing golf. Comics now are pretty expensive, and that is his hobby. If they can afford his hobby, that's their business.

If they can't make cuts other places (and it sounds like they probably can) then cutting the amount of fun money each of them gets to have makes sense in order for them to reach their other goals - but even then, you don't get to tell your spouse what they can and can't buy with their fun money if you have a fun money system. If I want to waste mine on manicures that my husband things are stupid, and he wants to waste his on video games, that's why we have fun money.

I suspect what is going on in this is the young couple (and maybe they are 50, I don't know) with fairly new careers, no kids, looking at their relative income and saying "we make a lot of money, we can afford that." The problem is that if each of those purchase decisions is made in isolation, you've quickly spent your way to the poorhouse on raspberry truffle hot fudge sauce for your ice cream, martinis when going out to dinner, red shoes that will look great with that dress you bought last week, and trips to Starbucks. Add in hubby working at Target and saying "humm, we could use a new rug....that's a nice t-shirt....I wanted to see that movie...those are on clearance!" and you have a recipe for just overspending.

1. Your husband should not come home from work with "stuff" - if he doesn't have the discipline to shop only for what is needed on his way home from work, you should make your Target shopping completely separate from his work experience.

2. Plan menus - if you have problems with defrosting (I do), make sure you have shelf stable or "out of the freezer" sorts of foods to pull together into a meal - soup and sandwiches, tuna fish, tofu. Those frozen chicken patties that defrost in 20 minutes if you throw them in a ziploc in warm water in your kitchen sink - a lot of fish works that way too.

3. Watch impulse spending. When people don't know where the money is going, its often going to "I like that song" purchases from iTunes at $.99 a pop.

4. Do a bill review. Look at your credit card statements and get rid of those things that creep on that you don't need or use. That bill monthly Weight Watchers online membership that you haven't logged into in three months, the subscription to Audible, the call waiting on your landline. My husband is notorious for signing up for these, on our last review he had THREE subscription backup plans for his computer.

As usual, I agree with your assessment. You're right to say that you can't make financial decisions in isolation: That's what leads to overspending on "good deals" and choosing too many splurges.

Good advice on how to fix the problem too.

We have money deposited into both our checking and savings accounts (plus 401K) right from our paychecks. That is how we were able to build a nice savings for a new house.

OP: perhaps something like this will help you since you'll never have to move the money or have it all sitting in one place where you can spend it.

I can't believe we made it to page 4 without someone else saying this! It's a great tip. I'll add to it that it's wise to have your savings directly deposited to a different bank (that is, not the one where you keep your checking). Make it a bank that's a little inconvenient so that you will have to plan to go make a withdrawal, and don't get an ATM card.

We do that with our short-term savings account, and it's a great method.

 

[kamik86]

For the fun money. The amount is about 8% of our take home pay per month between the two of us. (Take home pay not only after taxes but also after the 401K and health insurance) That covers all of our clothes and shoes as well as anything else we want for ourselves. DH used to spend his on video games, now he spends most of it on comics. I spend mine on clothes (not all of which I really need), computer games, movies, and just random other stuff I want at different times. I don't think the amount is hugely inappropriate.

For the food budget thank you for all the suggestions. Honestly though the food budget is only part of why we don't save. We also tend to get other bigger household items as soon as the household savings gets up a bit over what I deem the "untouchable" amount (which I can only go under for emergencies). An example was getting a new dishwasher when our other one stopped working at all. Now we want a second dresser because we only have one for the two of us and its not enough space so we have alot of clothes that can't be put away and just stay in baskets... but I'm going to try and wait on that one for a while.

 

[cornflake]

For the fun money. The amount is about 8% of our take home pay per month between the two of us. (Take home pay not only after taxes but also after the 401K and health insurance) That covers all of our clothes and shoes as well as anything else we want for ourselves. DH used to spend his on video games, now he spends most of it on comics. I spend mine on clothes (not all of which I really need), computer games, movies, and just random other stuff I want at different times. I don't think the amount is hugely inappropriate.

For the food budget thank you for all the suggestions. Honestly though the food budget is only part of why we don't save. We also tend to get other bigger household items as soon as the household savings gets up a bit over what I deem the "untouchable" amount (which I can only go under for emergencies). An example was getting a new dishwasher when our other one stopped working at all. Now we want a second dresser because we only have one for the two of us and its not enough space so we have alot of clothes that can't be put away and just stay in baskets... but I'm going to try and wait on that one for a while.

This is part of the impulse thing I was talking about in my previous post and part an outlook on stuff I think.

You don't have enough space with one dresser, so want another. Ok. That seems reasonable. There are, however, several responses to that problem besides - buy a second new dresser.

First, you say you have a lot of clothes that can't be put away and thus are just in baskets.

How many clothes do you have? What types of clothes are they? Do you wear them all? Are they all useful and in good repair and of decent quality?

Could you do with fewer clothes? Do you spend money on acquiring new clothes when you already have a lot?

If you come to the conclusion, after going through the clothes, paring down, eliminating things you don't wear, aren't in good repair or don't fit, etc., etc., that you may still need more storage -

What is the rest of your storage? What's the closet situation? Is it just hanging things? Could it be better utilized? You can put shelving into closets and there are umpteen closet organizing systems that could solve the problem without another piece of furniture.

If the closets are small or can't be helped and you STILL feel you need another dresser, move to...

Evaluate the one you have. Do you like it, why or why not? Does it do what you want? Would you prefer if it had... more drawers, deeper ones, if it was taller, if it had space for something else, if you could, instead of getting a second one, trade that one for a larger one, would that work? What about space in the room? Where would a second one go? Would switching the current make sense?

Then if you feel you need something new, be it a second dresser or a larger one or a wardrobe instead of the one you have - you say it as if you must go to a furniture store and buy new and that's that.

What about thrift stores and secondhand shops? Garage sales? Craigslist? Most of those places have stuff MUCH cheaper than new, and made much better. You can find some awesome stuff at thrift and second hand stores and garage sales for very, very little money. Look at something you might repaint into a fun colour or make a weekend refinishing project out of.

This is all that kind of impulsive thinking that is too stuck in one view, that gets from 'clothes don't fit in dresser' to 'need to buy new dresser as soon as there's money.'

There are so many steps along the way and they apply to the other stuff as well. Like the dinner thing I mentioned in the other post - hungry now so get take out/tired so get take out is that same type of thing. The nuts + a little planning are a wider view.

I knew I remembered someone on here redoing a cabinet thing - A Dis'ers Goodwill project. They wanted to do that, but there are plenty of pieces, even like that one, that can just be repainted and stuff quickly and look great, you don't have to get into an entire wood project if you're not into it.

 

[descovy]

Doesn't Target sell groceries? Do you get at least some of you groceries there since DH gets a discount?

I work at Target too. We get a 10% discount if we use cash check or Target debit/credit/gift card. And too, an additional 5% off if we use a Target Debit/credit card like everyone else. So up to 14.5% discount actually!

I am surprised how many of my fellow team members do not use their discount though. (Can't use it with a debit/credit card unless it is Target). One old etl refused to use it because he was afraid his purchases were tracked. Whatever. I don't care if Spot knows my favorite beer and bread!

I don't shop at Target blind anymore. As in, having a $100 purchase and not knowing why. I guess since I'm there 4-5 days a week, there is no need to "stock up". It's really easy to stick to my list, and knowing if I forgot anything I can just get it tomorrow.

Use coupons too as Target coupons combine with manuf coupons. And not every clearance deal is a good deal, nor do you always need it. Just because you can get some widget at 70% off doesn't mean you should. We had a TM pass away a couple years ago. A few weeks later, her daughter was at Target trying to return cartfulls of stuff... Unopened unused but on deep deep clearance. What was the point of buying all that stuff she didn't need?

 

[kirstenb1]

Have you ever tried a crockpot? Some of my favorite recipes don't even involve defrosting (I am HORRIBLE at remembering to defrost)-- you just throw frozen chicken or pork chops in there with a couple of other items, and you've got dinner made! Also, I try to stay out of Walmart and Target. I even buy my Laundry detergent, etc at the grocery store. I know it costs a bit more to buy them there, but I actually save money by keeping my butt out of Walmart !! --Katie

Agreed!!! Love using the crockpot to heat up several chicken breasts. I divvy them out so that one night we have quesadillas with black beans. Another, I throw some BBQ sauce over them and have sandwiches with cole slaw, another night, tortilla soup, etc. Although I'm not working now, one thing I found to be helpful was to do some cooking over the weekend and freeze the meals to be thawed/cooked during the week. Also, write out plans for dinner each night.

 

[Tiger926]

For the fun money. The amount is about 8% of our take home pay per month between the two of us. (Take home pay not only after taxes but also after the 401K and health insurance) That covers all of our clothes and shoes as well as anything else we want for ourselves. DH used to spend his on video games, now he spends most of it on comics. I spend mine on clothes (not all of which I really need), computer games, movies, and just random other stuff I want at different times. I don't think the amount is hugely inappropriate.

For the food budget thank you for all the suggestions. Honestly though the food budget is only part of why we don't save. We also tend to get other bigger household items as soon as the household savings gets up a bit over what I deem the "untouchable" amount (which I can only go under for emergencies). An example was getting a new dishwasher when our other one stopped working at all. Now we want a second dresser because we only have one for the two of us and its not enough space so we have alot of clothes that can't be put away and just stay in baskets... but I'm going to try and wait on that one for a while.

I can't get over this amount of 8%. Holy smokes! I know we have no idea what your take home pay is, but this seems so high. If we spend this amount on fun money and clothes we would be at about $7,000/year!

We spend a lot on clothes as hubby wears suits and ties each day, plus cold Canadian winters means lots of coats and boots, and we don't spend anywhere near this amount.

You now need a new dresser to put all of these clothes in, as you don't have enough room. Again, doesn't compute!

I just think you overspend because you can, and despite lots of good suggestions on here, you seem to justify your expenditures, especially the comic books.

If you want to save for a house, then eliminate some of the useless spending, make a budget, cook at home, and stop spending thousands of dollars on comic books. Easy and done!

If on the other hand you want justification for your frivolous spending, then I don't think you are going to find it here. Most of us do not eat out, as it's a total waste of money, and unhealthy, and most of us are not spending 100.00/month on comic books or magazines. Move some of your spending around by re-prioritizing, and you could not only buy a new dresser, but save for a house to put that dresser in!

Tiger

 

[danceintherain]

For the fun money. The amount is about 8% of our take home pay per month between the two of us. (Take home pay not only after taxes but also after the 401K and health insurance) That covers all of our clothes and shoes as well as anything else we want for ourselves. DH used to spend his on video games, now he spends most of it on comics. I spend mine on clothes (not all of which I really need), computer games, movies, and just random other stuff I want at different times. I don't think the amount is hugely inappropriate.

For the food budget thank you for all the suggestions. Honestly though the food budget is only part of why we don't save. We also tend to get other bigger household items as soon as the household savings gets up a bit over what I deem the "untouchable" amount (which I can only go under for emergencies). An example was getting a new dishwasher when our other one stopped working at all. Now we want a second dresser because we only have one for the two of us and its not enough space so we have alot of clothes that can't be put away and just stay in baskets... but I'm going to try and wait on that one for a while.

I can't get over this amount of 8%. Holy smokes! I know we have no idea what your take home pay is, but this seems so high. If we spend this amount on fun money and clothes we would be at about $7,000/year!

Excellent perspective.

It sounds as if you need a mentality change. Saving money doesn't just happen. You have to decide that it's the way you want to live. The "fun money" sticks out to me as well. I do think it's an important aspect of any budget, but I also think you need to define "fun."
Defining a "need" vs. a "want" is a very difficult concept for many people to grasp, especially since there's a fine line between the two. While a morning coffee may be a "need" for some people, buying it from Starbucks is almost always a "want" and thus in my opinion should come out of "fun money."

It may be time to widen what comes out of "fun money" and narrow down what you term as a necessity. For instance, if you only set aside one night a week for take out night, but you end up getting it three times that week, then you pull the excess out of your "fun money" instead of the money that should be going into savings.
Fine tune each specific aspect of your budget, so that it only covers what you need. Your budget seems far too broad.

The cash system is a good idea if you can agree to it. If your husband only has $100 in his pocket, then he may opt to forgo some of those whim purchases at his workplace in favor of his comic book addiction.

I also agree that instead of buying more storage space, it would be better to go through what you have and try to make it work.
Try the clothes hanger thing where you turn all your hangers around and hang it back up the right way once you've worn it. At the end of 6 months or so (ideally encompass both the coldest and hottest weather in your area) pull all the clothes still with reversed hangers out and get rid of them. If you haven't worn them in 6 months it's very unlikely that you'll ever wear them again. I'm not sure how to modify that for a dresser, but I'm sure there's a way.

Take advantage of that crock pot! There are so many easy recipes for it, which will help you at the end of the day when you're tired after work.

 

[sookie]

For the fun money. The amount is about 8% of our take home pay per month between the two of us. (Take home pay not only after taxes but also after the 401K and health insurance) That covers all of our clothes and shoes as well as anything else we want for ourselves. DH used to spend his on video games, now he spends most of it on comics. I spend mine on clothes (not all of which I really need), computer games, movies, and just random other stuff I want at different times. I don't think the amount is hugely inappropriate.

For the food budget thank you for all the suggestions. Honestly though the food budget is only part of why we don't save. We also tend to get other bigger household items as soon as the household savings gets up a bit over what I deem the "untouchable" amount (which I can only go under for emergencies). An example was getting a new dishwasher when our other one stopped working at all. Now we want a second dresser because we only have one for the two of us and its not enough space so we have alot of clothes that can't be put away and just stay in baskets... but I'm going to try and wait on that one for a while.

Is that 8% fun money for 1 person? If so - way too much. Actually if it is for 2 people you still might need to cut back.

Honestly, I would cut it down to 50 dollars per month for comics.

If you can't save for a house because of this comic book thing, there is an issue. You keep throwing around these budgeting terms but you aren't doing things that actually constitute budgeting.

The issue here is: even though you have set up fun money, it doesn't matter - your spending for other items is out of control for two people.

You came to this thread asking for a dose of realism. This is it.

Also - set up automatic withdraw from your bank account into a savings account for that house. Otherwise it won't happen with this spending. I keep reading these posts and all I see is constant returning to justify, justify, justify out of control spending. In the end, you won't be able to achieve your goals unless you want to. IF YOU WANT TO, you will stop spending 100 bucks a month on comics and you won't eat out as much. Not cooking at home because you didn't thaw the meat is lazy. Lay out the meat. It will take you 2 minutes. Set an alarm on your phone for goodness sake. These are simple changes that will save you money - I don't care how young you are, if you are old enough to live away from your mom - you can do these things.


How does your DVC play into this?

 

[gemma85]

I'm in UK so no idea what food costs anywhere else but here I work out a daily meal planner of what I want to eat and then do my shopping by what I need. I rarely buy comics for my son or anything he doesn't need if I'm trying to save. We hardly eat out either so save money that way. To cut down on shopping i buy household products from pound stores etc, do you have similar stores by you?

 

[Disneefun]

Here's the thing. Money to be saved doesn't jut fall out of a tree or fly out of your ear. It has to come from somewhere. That means you either have to cut spending in one area or bring in more money (i.e. a second job). It's fine to have a fun money category in your budget (or travel or whatever else you want), but if you're not saving anything, those numbers have to be cut down to free up money to save.

It's the same with all the other categories... Groceries, utilities, etc. To have money to save, things have to be cut. That may mean giving up cable, turning off all lights and unused appliances.

Unless you want another job, you're never going to get that house unless you cut somewhere. Fun money is usually the easiest and fastest cut to make. That's why people are telling you the comic book thing and excessive spending on clothes has to go. That or you choose those over a house.

 

[crisi]

I can't get over this amount of 8%. Holy smokes! I know we have no idea what your take home pay is, but this seems so high. If we spend this amount on fun money and clothes we would be at about $7,000/year!

We spend a lot on clothes as hubby wears suits and ties each day, plus cold Canadian winters means lots of coats and boots, and we don't spend anywhere near this amount.

I don't know how you can judge this off a percentage or a number. There isn't one that is right, there is merely one that gets you to your goals (which, granted, the OP isn't doing).

For instance, I have a friend and I'd guess 50% of his takehome is fun money. He has no kids. His house has been paid for for 30 years (he inherited it from his parents), he drives cheap cars he keeps running forever, lives cheaply - and makes six figures. If we weren't saving for kids college and my brother in law hadn't been terminally ill and we hadn't been supporting him, we'd have 35% of our income in "fun money" (well, we probably wouldn't, cause I'd save it to retire early - I guess that's a weird form of fun money)

However, the OP is in a situation where she isn't meeting her goals.

OP, sit down with your husband and prioritize what you REALLY WANT. And then act like those are your priorities. Its that simple. If you want a downpayment for a house more than anything, that means you want it more than anything, more than not doing dishes by hand, or a new dresser, or video games or comic books. If you keep buying other things, it means you don't value owning a house as much as you think you do - or alternatively, it means that you can't really afford it right now because saving for it would cut into all the other stuff too deep.

 

[kamik86]

I haven't even read all the posts here but this will be my last post. I am not going to stop the comics. this is what DH wants and I'm not going to start the fight to tell him he has to stop. I have been trying to get him to cut back and at least not start new series and that has already caused arguments. So I will not cut what fun money he has and will let him have what he wants with that amount. If we weren't able to pay the bills and were going into debt or even if we had cut back everything else we could and weren't managing to save then I would agree but there are other areas to cut back.

On the cloths. We have 1 dresser and its not a large one for the two of us. We then have one closet in the entire house which is full with storing Three big winter coats (a bit puffy one for each of us and then a black long one I can do for work), a few sweatshirts/lighter jackets for when its cooler but still need a coat, and one or two other things. Honestly I have just enough pants to get by for a week plus a few pieces for when I need to dress up. I do have more tops but not by much to be honest. DH has alot of tshirts but most are free/very cheap things he got from his retail loyalty video game sites (free stuff from video game companies because he works retail and takes surveys and stuff about their products). Then his work clothes. Honestly until last month when I made all the clothes purchases I was wearing the same clothes week after week because I only just had one weeks worth of work clothes. Most people I know have way more clothes and storage space but as I said I plan not to but one and just make what I have last for now anyway.

I came here to ask for advise on the food stuff, and I have now gotten that. The comments on what we spend our other money on were unsolicited and thus I don't feel I have any reason to continue this thread.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

One thing that has helped us is to buy groceries online. My favorite local grocery store is out of the way for me (read: extra gas $$) and on the way home for DH. However, my hubby is really good at shopping for milk/cereal/bread, and not so good at BIG shopping. So, I figured out that they have a program where you shop online, and they pull the groceries and have them ready when you walk in. I figure that between the gas savings for me to go there myself, and the lack of "impulse opportunities", it more than covers the $5 they charge for the service.

I sit at night when my kids go to bed, on my couch, and meal plan for the week. I have one window open for recipes, and one for shopping. It also helps save money by being able to walk into the kitchen and see if I have an ingredient or not. I always forget - that is why I currently have three bottles of sesame oil

 

[sk!mom]

I came here to ask for advise on the food stuff, and I have now gotten that. The comments on what we spend our other money on were unsolicited and thus I don't feel I have any reason to continue this thread.

Actually you titled your thread, "so frustrated with our finances..." and you provided information about multiple areas. People perceived trouble spots and commented. I get that it's easy to become defensive. If you only wanted tips on cutting the food spending, the title and information needed to address that area only.

I have no idea if your fun money is out of line as I don't know your income. I will agree with others that if a home purchase is your priority then that is always the easiest place to cut. I have no problem with the spending on comic books. I don't value them but others do. The amount spent on them may be too high if it's keeping you from other financial goals. Same thing with clothes. Yes, we all need them. The amount you're spending may be too high. If it's hindering other goals. I never have more than a weeks worth of slacks and maybe two weeks worth of shirts. I have one pair of nice jeans and several worn pairs for weekends and hanging out. I don't shop as recreation or value a large wardrobe. I prefer to dress simply and I'm a minimalist.

As far as food goes, your spending seems very high. We eat out as a social activity only. In a normal week, we might have one meal out with friends or family. We never pick up food because we are too busy or tired. For those times, I keep simple easy stuff at home. It's quicker, easier, healthier to make a sandwich at home with fruit on the side. I also keep some easy foods....black beans and fat free cheese for nachos, pasta and frozen veggies for a quick pasta meal. I also meal plan carefully so that we have zero waste. DH loves leftovers so he loves the servings leftover from dinner for the next days lunch.

Good Luck!