Snowflake children

[goofyernmost]

I don't mind kids acting out but it is within certain guidelines. I have seen, for example, a woman with a approx. 4 year old the day before Christmas in a retail store. The child got into his mind that there was a toy that he wanted and was quite vocal about it. This went on for about 20 minutes. He would yell, scream and tantrum that he wanted that toy. His mother would say, we are not buying any toys, tomorrow is Christmas. Over and over and over. This kid had lungs that would pierce steel. She managed to make it to the checkout and I guess it was just too embarrassing for her because at the last minute, she was almost out of there, she gave in and got it for him.

If only she knew that after she left the discussion of the rest of the customers was how disappointed they were that she gave in. He never should have gotten away with that...he needed to be taught a lesson of behavior. As it was he learned that if he keeps it up he gets what he wants. When I was a kid just half that type of behavior got me hours sitting in the corner "thinking about what I had done".

Anytime I see a child being disrespectful to his or her parents, I see red. I have seen a kid in line calling his father stupid because he didn't get a FP. I was with my grown daughter at the time. I turned and asked her what she thought would have happened if she ever spoke to me that way, even at WDW. She gave an instant and correct response..."we would have been back in the room so fast we wouldn't have known what hit us. She was correct. I didn't make idol threats, they were realistic and my kids knew that I was going to follow through. Act a little wild a home...but in public you are flirting with extreme danger.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Scenerio: I have no babysitter and HAVE to take the kids to the grocery store. If the little one is acting up and raising hell....no...I'm not taking he/she out, we are going to soldier on and get what we need. If some old woman has the audacity to tell me to take my kid out.....I'm going to tell her to **** off. Seriously, for real.

That is a disturbing attitude. Your child would misbehave and you would ignore it? How about some respect for others in the store.

 

[golfgal]

I actually think that many who get wrapped up in criticizing parents of so called "snowflakes" are in reality poor parents themselves, only trying to make themselves feel better for neglecting their own children. You know..... "my, what a good parent I am........ I don't make my child feel special, I don't make them feel loved, I get to focus exclusively on myself...... I don't get them a stroller........ I make them walk 6 miles at Disney........isn't this cool........"

In reality, nobody on an internet board like this knows ONE WHIT about how anybody else parents. And what people do at Disney (the topic of most discussions here) is not necessarily what they do on a daily basis. And to sit in judgement of others based on the tiny tidbits of information visible here is a reflection of THEM.......... not the parents of the so-called "snowflake"............

Actually it is the total opposite--the ones not raising Snowflakes KNOW that those that are are doing WAY more harm than good not letting their children make mistakes, pay the consequences for their actions, not learning how to deal with difficult situations, etc. Getting a stroller in Disney is hardly Snowflake material--interfering in every aspect of a child's life IS. See, parents that are busy Snowfalking are the ones that call a potential employer (for a job requiring a college degree no less) to ask why Suzy Snowflake didn't get a job--you call that good parenting??? This happens to my DH WAY more than it should--and others here have posted similar experiences.

My DS15 is pretty shy so I make him do things like make his own orthodontist appointments, check on things at school, bring in the check for school lunches, etc. He doesn't like to do these but he DOES need to learn to be comfortable doing them because in 3 years, he will be off to college and will HAVE to do them. I couldn't imagine NOT having him practice these things before then.

 

[mom2rtk]

Getting a stroller in Disney is hardly Snowflake material--interfering in every aspect of a child's life IS. See, parents that are busy Snowfalking are the ones that call a potential employer (for a job requiring a college degree no less) to ask why Suzy Snowflake didn't get a job--you call that good parenting??? This happens to my DH WAY more than it should--and others here have posted similar experiences.

My DS15 is pretty shy so I make him do things like make his own orthodontist appointments, check on things at school, bring in the check for school lunches, etc. He doesn't like to do these but he DOES need to learn to be comfortable doing them because in 3 years, he will be off to college and will HAVE to do them. I couldn't imagine NOT having him practice these things before then.

But you missed my main point. On a discussion board like this, how do you KNOW the person renting the stroller interferes with all aspects of their child's life at home?????

THIS IS MY ENTIRE POINT!

To get to that point one must ASSUME that the parent renting the stroller (or whatever tiny glimpse of information they have) and then make the COLOSSAL leap to make judgmental assumptions about that person's parenting in the trenches every day.

LEAPING from renting a stroller to calling an employer is patently ABSURD.

 

[golfgal]

But you missed my main point. On a discussion board like this, how do you KNOW the person renting the stroller interferes with all aspects of their child's life at home?????

THIS IS MY ENTIRE POINT!

To get to that point one must ASSUME that the parent renting the stroller (or whatever tiny glimpse of information they have) and then make the COLOSSAL leap to make judgmental assumptions about that person's parenting in the trenches every day.

LEAPING from renting a stroller to calling an employer is patently ABSURD.

No, I didn't miss your entire point but I also have yet to see a post where they ONLY reason someone is called a Snowflake is because they got a stroller for their child, well, unless that child is over the age of say, 7.

 

[mom2rtk]

No, I didn't miss your entire point but I also have yet to see a post where they ONLY reason someone is called a Snowflake is because they got a stroller for their child, well, unless that child is over the age of say, 7.

But on a discussion board like this, that is likely to be the ONLY bit of information available.

And I have seen MANY on the DIS sliced and diced for renting a stroller for a 5 year old.

 

[golfgal]

But on a discussion board like this, that is likely to be the ONLY bit of information available.

And I have seen MANY on the DIS sliced and diced for renting a stroller for a 5 year old.

I guess I haven't but then I don't have kids that age any longer and don't really pay attention. Personally if you are going to be in the parks for 12+ hours I would get a stroller for a 5 year old too--heck we thought about renting a stroller just so we wouldn't have to carry junk in the parks . (my smilies are not working for some reason). The real point is why do you care if someone calls your child a Snowflake for this reason?

 

[Tiger926]

I guess I haven't but then I don't have kids that age any longer and don't really pay attention. Personally if you are going to be in the parks for 12+ hours I would get a stroller for a 5 year old too--heck we thought about renting a stroller just so we wouldn't have to carry junk in the parks . (my smilies are not working for some reason). The real point is why do you care if someone calls your child a Snowflake for this reason?

The real point is, why does anyone care if I get a stroller for my 5 year old or 7 year old?

Tiger

 

[Pig Pen]

My co-worker (male) often talks about the trials and tribulations over raising his 9 yo son. However I don't think it's a normal set of troubles.

The boy is constantly obsessing about death, his own, his parents, etc. The state of the world bothers him. It has gotten to the point that they cannot watch the news because it upsets him so much.

They watched the movie "Nim's Island" and he cried so much when the father was lost at sea that they had to stop watching it. He wants to play sports but is not very good so he obsesses constantly about it. He is a cub scout but is afraid of everything so camp-outs are a nightmare. The parents have to accompany him to everything and constantly reassure him of his worth. The parents are both very well educated, older (50s). The kid is very wan looking with huge dark circles under his eyes. He reminds me of the kid in Sixth Sense.

I am not sure if this is a snowflake or helicopter parent situation but it concerns me when I hear about it.

 

[Ceila]

My co-worker (male) often talks about the trials and tribulations over raising his 9 yo son. However I don't think it's a normal set of troubles.

The boy is constantly obsessing about death, his own, his parents, etc. The state of the world bothers him. It has gotten to the point that they cannot watch the news because it upsets him so much.

They watched the movie "Nim's Island" and he cried so much when the father was lost at sea that they had to stop watching it. He wants to play sports but is not very good so he obsesses constantly about it. He is a cub scout but is afraid of everything so camp-outs are a nightmare. The parents have to accompany him to everything and constantly reassure him of his worth. The parents are both very well educated, older (50s). The kid is very wan looking with huge dark circles under his eyes. He reminds me of the kid in Sixth Sense.

I am not sure if this is a snowflake or helicopter parent situation but it concerns me when I hear about it.

Poor kiddo. Can you imagine living life constantly afraid of everything? Obsessing about death is NOT typical, especially for a 9 year old kid. I don't think he's a snowflake, I think that child may need help.

 

[golfgal]

The real point is, why does anyone care if I get a stroller for my 5 year old or 7 year old?

Tiger

I don't think any one really cares but when you post on a message board about doing this you ARE going to get other people's opinions on the matter. That is just the nature of a message board.

 

[Pig Pen]

May not be relevant, but I just recalled something I saw yesterday at the mall. A woman was in the bookstore with her toddler (probably 2 or 3 years old). He was on one of those leash things. She was picking up books and reading the dust jackets while he was, of course, pulling out books and touching stuff. She kept saying over and over in an annoyed tone: I said don't touch. I said don't touch. I said don't touch.

My thought was - you are standing there reading books. The kid is bored and on a leash, standing in one spot, staring at a wall of books. GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH! Don't keep repeating the same thing over and over and over. SHEESH!

 

[golfgal]

May not be relevant, but I just recalled something I saw yesterday at the mall. A woman was in the bookstore with her toddler (probably 2 or 3 years old). He was on one of those leash things. She was picking up books and reading the dust jackets while he was, of course, pulling out books and touching stuff. She kept saying over and over in an annoyed tone: I said don't touch. I said don't touch. I said don't touch.

My thought was - you are standing there reading books. The kid is bored and on a leash, standing in one spot, staring at a wall of books. GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH! Don't keep repeating the same thing over and over and over. SHEESH!

No kidding--or DO something about him not listening to you!

 

[Tiger926]

My co-worker (male) often talks about the trials and tribulations over raising his 9 yo son. However I don't think it's a normal set of troubles.

The boy is constantly obsessing about death, his own, his parents, etc. The state of the world bothers him. It has gotten to the point that they cannot watch the news because it upsets him so much.

They watched the movie "Nim's Island" and he cried so much when the father was lost at sea that they had to stop watching it. He wants to play sports but is not very good so he obsesses constantly about it. He is a cub scout but is afraid of everything so camp-outs are a nightmare. The parents have to accompany him to everything and constantly reassure him of his worth. The parents are both very well educated, older (50s). The kid is very wan looking with huge dark circles under his eyes. He reminds me of the kid in Sixth Sense.

I am not sure if this is a snowflake or helicopter parent situation but it concerns me when I hear about it.

Poor kiddo. Can you imagine living life constantly afraid of everything? Obsessing about death is NOT typical, especially for a 9 year old kid. I don't think he's a snowflake, I think that child may need help.

This boy sounds like he has serious anxiety - many of my students are the same way. They are very concerned about death and dying. I am very concerned about this boy, based on this description. He sounds like he doesn't sleep, is probably depressed and cannot function on a daily basis. Definitely red flags for those parents...

I don't think any one really cares but when you post on a message board about doing this you ARE going to get other people's opinions on the matter. That is just the nature of a message board.

On the contrary...we have seen many threads that have been started by people who have just returned from WDW and they ask why do people have older kids in strollers? Or, someone posts looking for stroller purchasing info, and you get a bunch of people telling the OP that her kids shouldn't be in strollers, and she is doing her kids a disservice by putting them in strollers, and her kids are going to become obese because they aren't walking, like their kids, who at 3 years old, walk 10 miles a day around WDW without any strollers! Geez!

So, I have never started a thread, nor posted about my personal stroller habits with my children, but based on my stroller habits, I might be discussed, as there are many on here who like to discuss other people's children and parenting skills, all on their own, without any help from me, or anyone else who falls into the category. This whole thread is a perfect example of that...

Tiger

 

[acejka]

I didn't read all of the other posts, but its not a dis word to me, I heard it years ago, before I was even on the dis. A much older friend who was a teacher used it to describe a kid.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My co-worker (male) often talks about the trials and tribulations over raising his 9 yo son. However I don't think it's a normal set of troubles.

The boy is constantly obsessing about death, his own, his parents, etc. The state of the world bothers him. It has gotten to the point that they cannot watch the news because it upsets him so much.

They watched the movie "Nim's Island" and he cried so much when the father was lost at sea that they had to stop watching it. He wants to play sports but is not very good so he obsesses constantly about it. He is a cub scout but is afraid of everything so camp-outs are a nightmare. The parents have to accompany him to everything and constantly reassure him of his worth. The parents are both very well educated, older (50s). The kid is very wan looking with huge dark circles under his eyes. He reminds me of the kid in Sixth Sense.

I am not sure if this is a snowflake or helicopter parent situation but it concerns me when I hear about it.

Sounds like a kid with severe anxiety to me. Can parents cause this? Yes. Is it usually the cause, no.

 

[Art 1]

I don't think any one really cares but when you post on a message board about doing this you ARE going to get other people's opinions on the matter. That is just the nature of a message board.

Or it could be that 5 and 7 is too old for a healthy child to be in a stroller.

 

[mom2rtk]

Or it could be that 5 and 7 is too old for a healthy child to be in a stroller.

See.... people do care. And do judge.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Or it could be that 5 and 7 is too old for a healthy child to be in a stroller.

I wouldn't put my 5 to 7 year old in a stroller. I couldn't care less if someone else does. I cannot fathom why anyone would care.

 

[golfgal]

"Care" and posting an option on the subject are two separate things to me. If someone comes here asking about using a stroller for a 7 year old, they ARE going to get many posts saying it is silly. Does that mean people, in all reality CARE if you do it or not, no, they just think it is silly. Sure you get a lot of posts about that but when all is said and done I don't really thing people are waking up in the middle of the night saying "wow, I can't believe that she would get a stroller for her 7 year old".