Hmm, I was hoping for some feedback on my Spaceship Earth idear, if you don't know what I'm talking about please read the last post, previous page.
Ok, I have no idea how this is going to turn out, or how hard it will be to explain it all, so pour yourselves a glass and let's just have some fun.
Nebo's Foibles
The Boy and the Button
Once upon a time in a Century long ago lived a lad named Nebo, who's five year mission was to explore new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to BOLDLY go where no man has gone bef......
whoops, wrong narration
take two
Once upon a time in a Century long ago, lived a lad named Nebo.
Now Nebo was a naive soul, very trusti
(Nebo interupting) Hey, what happened to "lived a handsome young man named Nebo?"
...very trusting, but not too bright or quick with matters of the mind and wit.
(keep it up!)
His biggest claim to fortune, aside from winning the Village Idiot contest, was to have somehow ended in matrimony with the lovely Diana.
(yeah? what did you do, place?)
His lovely Diana was charming, clever and filled with the grace that only the wind through the very tops of the willow grove on a summer's day can compare.
(think you used enough superlatives in that sentance?)
Since Nebo usually kept to himself, the only company he was almost ever seen in was by his lovely mate's side. There were those that thought that as odd as he was, that he could talk to the Spirits.
But much more likely it was he pouring the spirits.
And it was on this lovely and clever Saturday that they were reposing by the watering hole sharing their thoughts. Sorry, lovely thoughts.
Mostly it was Diana doing the speaking, with Nebo feigning understanding.
Easy to understand why since there wasnn't enough current passing through his mind to light up a firefly.
(hey!, I warned you!)
After a while, Nebo finally decided to do something worthwhile and offered his services to leave and bring back some form of fermented grain concoction for the two of them.
His trip back to the abode went easy enough, he had mastered the skill of pressing the button that elevated the small chamber and conveyed him to the required level to gain admittance to his domicile.
(what'd he say?)
In his room, there were a few things that almost overwhelmed him that needed to be done. First he needed to rinse out the plastic cups used for the beverages, then he needed to go see the ice man and fill his bucket. Then he had to decide what to mix and in what quantities, and he had to do this accurately and efficiently since they happened to be short of time.
But most of all he needed to use the water closet, and maybe for a while.
(THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!)
I'm sorry, just couldn't take it any more, besides, this guy's a jerk.
And not only that, I was starting to feel like Gollum.
I was running around like crazy, lucky we were right by the ice machine, and I decided to give the lovely and clever Diana a healthy dose from the pre-made Margarita bottle. For her I used the refillable mug.
Classy, huh?
For me I made a manhattan, but put that in a plastic cup, no, manhattans just can't be drank from a refillable mug. Besides, those mugs hold so much and when you're making a drink, of course you want to FILL the mug,,,,,just not a good idear at this time of day.
I made the drinks, then ran down to my yo yo for a quickie.
(easy winkers)
After remembering to throw the room latch keeping the door ajar, I had my quick smoke and returned to the room, half expecting to find the maid in the room slugging down the drinks I just made.
When I think about this next part, my mind almost starts to blur, but I know it happened because you just can't make up something this stupid.
Ok, bear with me and follow along, just not too closely.
I grabbed my room card and my smokes, then grabbed the drinks and left.
Standing at the elevator is a woman and her young daughter, waiting.
Remember, we are on the 4th floor, no where to go but down.
This is where the naive, handsome young lad meets the very forward self-absorbed young lady.
Soon enough, the elevator arrives, those two go in and I follow, noticing that my manhattan in the plastic cup is already suffering from ice meltage.
Remember earlier in the trip, I tried to make a light hearted joke about going to Cleveland next winter where it's warm? Well, I'm not going to make the same mistake again, that lady's glare was bad enough so this time I am going to partake in the time honored tradition of either staring at the floor or a blank wall.
On her way in, she pressed the button, so there was no reason for me to bother. I just stared at the advertisement on the wall for the food court.
I guess my mind was wandering, and when the doors opened and the two of the walked out, I followed almost right behind.
I immediately realized that this is not the ground floor, not sure yet what floor this is but it surely isn't the ground floor.
See how sharp I am?
At the same time, the woman goes, "OH, I forgot my sunglasses," and heads right back into the elevator with me once again right behind.
As her young daughter starts to come back in herself, the woman presses a button, then holds the door open and tells her daughter to go to the room, she'll be right back in a moment.
HUH?
She didn't want the ground floor after all?
Just then, another couple just catches the door in time and joins us, and....
Presses a button.
My head is already spinning, and I look at the panel to see what is lit up.
No, she didn't get off on the wrong floor like I did, she MEANT to do it.
The button she pressed originally was number 2, which is where we all got off.
so to speak
And NOW!, when I thought she was pressing number one, to correct her earlier mistake, uh uh, no mistake.
This time she had pressed 4 again,
to go back up and retrieve her sunglasses.
I frantically lunge for the panel to press number 1, but it's way too late now. It was also hard to do holding two drinks, part of the reason I never pressed it in the first place.
Ok, still with me?
You would think that I would have been safe still, since the other couple got on the elevator on 2 and pressed a button, they have to be going down, right?
Nope, they had pressed number 3!
So, from floor 2, we are now going back up to floor 3, it's not going to come back down to 1 until it has finished it's direction cycle.
My mind was spinning trying to figure it all out.
Why would a couple get on at 2 and just go up one floor?
Unless they came from outside and originally pressed the wrong button and got off on the wrong floor. ?
And why would the woman and kid go from their room and get off on the second floor? And the woman told the kid she'd see her in the room, but only the woman went back up, and left the kid on the second floor?????
At floor 3 the doors open and the couple get out, now it's just me and the woman again, and yes, still going back up.
This was the only funny part;
it was like for the first time, the woman actually noticed me still with her, and she was starting to get that Dory look, "WHy are you following me?"
And to be honest, I'm getting a tad ticked by now myself, it was easy enough to see that I was trying to go outside with somebody else's drink in my hand until she hi-jacked the elevator for her own personal use.
I just stared at her, didn't say a word, then I looked at my increasingly watered down manhattan.
Finally she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I should have noticed you had your hands full and asked what floor you wanted."
Well, um, no, I made the last part up.
The doors opened once again on FLOOR NUMBER 4!, and there was a group of about five people waiting for it.
HER GROUP!
"HI, what are you doing back up here, we were just coming down to join you?"
"Oh, I forgot my sunglasses, I'll be right back, hold the doors for me, will you?"
I almost crapped my you know what's!
"Sure, is Betty downstairs with Donna?"
"Yes, I just took her down, she looks so cute today with her princess costume."
They are standing there chatting! I now felt like I was kidnapped!
I felt like saying that I hope you're talking about Donna cuz there was nothing cute about that kid but held my tongue.
"Ok, be right back."
Now I'm bordering on livid, but as they were all getting in, I said "I got it", and as the door was closing, started to put my elbow in the way as if to prevent them from shutting. But since I was holding two drinks, it was easy enough to pretend that the door bumped my arm and I almost dropped one, ,,
and the door closed.
"Whoops, sorry about that."
Now I have 5 people glaring at me, and I didn't give a rat's patootie about it.
Finally, we are going down,
and then the hand comes from behind me and presses the 2 button.
For some reason this was almost like getting hit in the stomach. I looked at the panel wanting to hit the emergency stop button but couldn't find one. Then I thought about throwing my drinks at the panel hoping to short it out.
HEY, if I can't go where I want to, nobody can!
But for some reason, the phrase "Casting Early Times before swine" popped in my head, and I didn't.
At floor two, the doors opened and they all got out, but not without one more glare at me who didn't hold the door like the good little lad was supposed to.
"Say hi to Donna for me," was all I got out.
At long last, the doors opened on the ground floor,,,,,
and I ran!
If you are scoring this at home, I started on 4, down to 2, up to 3, up to 4, down to 2, down to 1.
Incredible!
When I handed the drink to Smidgy, she said, "What took so long?"
My mixed drink in the plastic cup was totally watered down by now, so I just chugged it down and headed right back to make another one.
I took the stairs.
I still have to wonder just what in the heck was going on at Donna's on the second floor, I probably would have caught on quicker if this had been Pop Warner season.
But for all of you boys and girls out there, remember.............
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS TO ALWAYS PRESS THE BUTTON!
I completely agree!
people.
lmao
was home ALLLLLL day with the little ones, awaiting the fine, handsome (
who asks:
"
