Small minded people and their small minded comments...ugh!

[ols386]

I would think it odd to see a guy carrying a bag/murse, whatever you want to call it, only because I don't see guys carrying them in the region where I live. I suppose in larger cities it might be more common.

The best way to handle it in your case would be to try and ignore those comments by your FB guy friends. If you react to it, the more you react to it, they will continue to say things.

 

[java]

Am I the only one that wants to see? Picure picture picture!

 

[Swan4Me]

I have never seen a man here in the South-gay or straight-with a man purse
I'd think it odd
I would guess he'd be made fun here too

 

[mjkacmom]

... here in Mexico you are judged by how moreno you are!!!

And yes, mam bags have been around throughout history, I plan to buy an Animal Kingdom carrier bag for my son instead of a backpack for his school.... lets see what happens...

Please don't do this. Dd15 asked me to buy her a messenger bag in middle school - lasted a few months, and then she begged for a backpack (she has a 15 minute walk). I carpooled with my neighbor last year, and her kindergartener had a messenger bag, and I had to carry it for her. It's just not pratical (plus, kids that age can be mean - I still remember a friend's ds coming home in tears on pajama day, because he had character pajamas, and was mocked all day).

 

[daisax]

And my calling them non-cultured wasn't meant to be so much a judgement as it was an explanation for their lack of understanding of a cultural trend.

Men carrying bags is one of those "cultural trends" that people have tried to convince us is happening since I was a kid and Mike on All in the Family got one. I'm 48 now. I work in a major metropolitan city in the Northeast and no, men are not carrying murses in any appreciable number.

As for long hair, I disagree that most men over a certain age would if they could. but can't. If that were true, they would have been doing it during their peak hair years, and they didn't then. A small number of guys have always had long hair; most don't.

It's fine if you like the look. But you know very well that it's an "alternative" look. So shame on your friends for being obnoxious about it, but I'm guessing a little part of you enjoys feeling like you are ahead of some impending curve.

American men seem fairly immune to European fashion trends. As an American woman, I'm mostly thankful for that

 

[Magpie]

Please don't do this. Dd15 asked me to buy her a messenger bag in middle school - lasted a few months, and then she begged for a backpack (she has a 15 minute walk). I carpooled with my neighbor last year, and her kindergartener had a messenger bag, and I had to carry it for her. It's just not pratical (plus, kids that age can be mean - I still remember a friend's ds coming home in tears on pajama day, because he had character pajamas, and was mocked all day).

Really? I see lots of messenger bags at our local high school, and around the university. It's more convenient for stowing laptops and binders. And wearing it across your body is less of a strain on your back.

Must be a regional difference. Around here, a messenger bag says, "I'm cool, I've got technology. And possibly I ride a mountain bike."

 

[sunnyday123]

I got the whole "she looks too white to be Hispanic" thing all my life (Half white and Mexican) from my cousins who were much darker than me. I was accused of not being "dark enough for the family". It was a joke but it stung. Finally a long distance cousin arrived from her home in Mexico for a vacation. She is blond and blue eyed. When they made a crack about me she put them in their places.

Now, OP don't worry about the bag thing. My Dad had one and took it everywhere with him but no one thought anything of it. It could just be your friend. They do make some nice man bags.

Ha! All my life, people have joked that I don't belong in my family-that I look Mexican! All of my cousins on both sides are either blonde/blue eyed and fair skinned, or very light brown haired/light eyed and very fair skinned. People used to ask my Grandparents where my parents got that "little Mexican girl" all the time.

To the OP, if your wife is fine with your man-bag, carry it with pride. I just want to know what men put in them.

 

[mjkacmom]

Really? I see lots of messenger bags at our local high school, and around the university. It's more convenient for stowing laptops and binders. And wearing it across your body is less of a strain on your back.

Must be a regional difference. Around here, a messenger bag says, "I'm cool, I've got technology. And possibly I ride a mountain bike."

When you are under 4 foot tall, and your messenger bag is almost dragging on the ground, or you have 25 pounds worth of books, a backpack works much better. Trust me, my dd is all about fashion, and loved the look of her Abercrombie bag, but walking with it a mile to school was too much for her.

 

[Magpie]

When you are under 4 foot tall, and your messenger bag is almost dragging on the ground, or you have 25 pounds worth of books, a backpack works much better. Trust me, my dd is all about fashion, and loved the look of her Abercrombie bag, but walking with it a mile to school was too much for her.

Ah, that explains it!

Our schools often don't have textbooks for all the kids, so they mostly get handouts. The teacher will have the textbook, and photocopy whatever the relevant materials are. They're also on a semester system, which means they're never taking more than four courses at one time, so it's easy to fit everything in one binder, with dividers.

They don't carry quite as much, from the sound of things.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I would think it's odd if my husband decided to carry that out in public (if it looks anything like the one on page 1).
He has a wallet and that's all he needs.

Can I ask what a man puts in such a thing anyway? (not being snarky...totally serious question)

I get the idea of a purse for women because we carry a ton of stuff around in them. Men just seem to travel light and don't need to hold anything.

 

[Goofyluver]

People are not questioning his sexual orientation, more his performance of gender. People don't actually think you're gay, OP. I know quite a few gay men who don't carry purses and lesbians that do. Instead they're using "gay" as the attack on your gender performance. This "joke" tells us that portions of our society have dictated that gay is the worst thing a man can be.

This exactly.



Hey, OP...if your "coping mechanism" has turned to you joking along with these guys, then you've given them permission to continue (and not just with you). If this type of joking (specifically what's referenced above by Sparx) is unacceptable to you and you're looking to call attention to it, then it's your responsibility to speak up.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Noooooo!! Not at all. lol. I'm fiercely proud to be a Buffalonian, but this particular trend is not common at all here.

I'll vouch for that!

And that's probably part of the problem, if these friends are also locals! We're Buffalonians, dude! We wear flip flops in the winter and have a different Bills jersey for every game. We're cultured... but not European-style. Our culture comes for our architecture and our art and our music and our natural environment. We are a working class town that is fiercely American. Euro-trends (not sure if that's a word or if I just made it up... LOL) are not real big here!

Ignore 'em.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

I wonder what you're hauling too OP.

Also, couldn't you just call it a brief case?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I work with a lot of doctors/medical residents who carry these. (Not too many with long hair, though - maybe a few.) They need something small that stays on their person that has reference materials, notes and phones, etc, readily available as they're running from place to place. Oftentimes they even wear them commuter style (across their chests) so they don't come off and become lost. There are many great styles available. I highly doubt care what anyone thinks, lol.

 

[topolino]

I'll vouch for that!

And that's probably part of the problem, if these friends are also locals! We're Buffalonians, dude! We wear flip flops in the winter and have a different Bills jersey for every game. We're cultured... but not European-style. Our culture comes for our architecture and our art and our music and our natural environment. We are a working class town that is fiercely American. Euro-trends (not sure if that's a word or if I just made it up... LOL) are not real big here!

Ignore 'em.

So true, and it's funny, because I consider myself to have almost a dual personality. I was raised in the USA but by Italian immigrants and honestly feel bi-cultural. I sometimes turn them on and off like a switch. I own 2 Bills and 4 Sabres jerseys, yet my closet is also full of European trendy clothes too. The man-bag in question is not something I bring to a Sabres game, or even if I go out to dinner here in Buffalo. But when travelling, especially in a multi-cultural city like Toronto, I have no problem bringing it with me.

The friends in question are locals, at least most of them, and my Euro side is foreign to them (pun fully intended). Like so many other posters have said, people tend to mock ideas that they don't understand.

 

[topolino]

A few have asked what I put in there.

Mine is not small like a purse, and doesn't have those outside pockets like the one on the guy from The Hangover pictured on page one.

I don't bring it around every day, only when I have more to carry. It's big enough for my laptop, a couple files, and in the inside pockets an iPod, a checkbook, a USB cable, etc. I still carry a wallet with ID and credit cards, etc.

 

[topolino]

I work with a lot of doctors/medical residents who carry these. (Not too many with long hair, though - maybe a few.) They need something small that stays on their person that has reference materials, notes and phones, etc, readily available as they're running from place to place. Oftentimes they even wear them commuter style (across their chests) so they don't come off and become lost. There are many great styles available. I highly doubt care what anyone thinks, lol.

That's how I wear mine too.

I really don't care what people think either, and I said that in my original post. I just started the thread to vent about the people who make the same comments over and over. Really gets old!

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

A few have asked what I put in there.

Mine is not small like a purse, and doesn't have those outside pockets like the one on the guy from The Hangover pictured on page one.

I don't bring it around every day, only when I have more to carry. It's big enough for my laptop, a couple files, and in the inside pockets an iPod, a checkbook, a USB cable, etc. I still carry a wallet with ID and credit cards, etc.

This makes a lot more sense now that you said you carry a laptop with cables and such. Otherwise, I would still have a hard time with understanding this concept. I don't think this trend has hit Wisconsin....yet.

 

[torinsmom]

Although I would never make fun of someone for carrying a messenger bag, I would probably do a double take if I saw a man carrying a bag like the one pictured earlier in the thread. That looks more like a purse than a messenger bag. Some things are just not seen here in the US that much. I always cringe when I see the European men at WDW with capris with the ties at the bottom. I guess I am just uncultured

I do think it's rude for your friends to badger you about it.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

So true, and it's funny, because I consider myself to have almost a dual personality. I was raised in the USA but by Italian immigrants and honestly feel bi-cultural. I sometimes turn them on and off like a switch. I own 2 Bills and 4 Sabres jerseys, yet my closet is also full of European trendy clothes too. The man-bag in question is not something I bring to a Sabres game, or even if I go out to dinner here in Buffalo. But when travelling, especially in a multi-cultural city like Toronto, I have no problem bringing it with me.

The friends in question are locals, at least most of them, and my Euro side is foreign to them (pun fully intended). Like so many other posters have said, people tend to mock ideas that they don't understand.

That's kinda what I figured