Sleepovers...sleepaway camp

[Magic Mom]

Do you/would you let your kids go to a sleepover? What about a sleep away camp? What age do you think that would be OK, if ever?

I can't remember when DS had his first sleepover....I have mush brain.
But DD started when she was in kindergarten at a close friend's house. I was friends with the parents and they lived down the street. She is 9 now and has sleepovers with friends, but only if I know the parents.
She went to her first over night camp when she was 7, right before 2nd grade. It was girl scout camp, and we had gone to the camp for a troop campout a month before so she was familiar with the camp.

Now she has a friend and the parents not only won't do sleepovers (fine with me, I get that rule for a family if that works for them) but they won't even let the child over to play at a friends house with out Mom being there the whole time. I have a hard time with this, because I just don't have the time to entertain this woman for the whole afternoon. This is not just at our house, but at any friend's house.

 

[DMickey28]

My DS is still very young but at this point i am hoping to send him to at least one week of day camp when he is 4 and sleep away if he wants at 7/8.

However, there is one specific camp that I will send him to. For any other camp I don't know. I used to work at this camp, know the family that has run it for the last 75+ years and know many of the directors and counselors. As a daycamp, i usually go to the Cape for a few weeks in the summer time and when he is 4 I want to start with sending him one of those weeks.

 

[Rella Bella]

We do allow sleepovers now, but most of the parents around here stop allowing them when the kids get to high school age... just too many variables. We will probably do that too. Once parents are alseep, those with drivers licenses have options younger kids don't.

I have started checking with parents about what kind of internet safety they have in place before I allow him to spend the night though... porn is just too easy to find.

 

[Michelle67]

My oldest started sleepovers when she was around five or six, I think. She and that girl (with whom she exchanged her first sleepovers) walked together at graduation two weeks ago. Wow...

Okay sidetracked.

Younger daughter hasn't had a sleepover yet, it just hasn't come up. Maybe because her almost-five year old brother drives her friends as crazy as he drives her. She has been to a two-night Girl Scout camp, LOVED it, and is headed for a full week camp in August. She is excited.

The mom having to be there the whole time for a play date would bug the bejaysus out of me. I not only don't have time for that, but I really don't like having to entertain people I don't know or necessarily have anything in common with other than our kids being friends. I have no problem with meeting people that way, and maybe we become friends...it has happened a couple of times that way for me. But I don't like feeling forced into it. I wouldn't mind if it was just the first visit, preferably just the first little bit of the first visit, but every time? I'm sorry to say that unless I hit it off with the lady instantly I'd be discouraging those particular play dates.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nope. No need to sleep anywhere but home. If you are sleeping you aren't missing anything so you can come home and sleep in your bed. I will pick you up when the fun is over and you can come home to sleep.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Do you/would you let your kids go to a sleepover? What about a sleep away camp? What age do you think that would be OK, if ever?

I can't remember when DS had his first sleepover....I have mush brain.
But DD started when she was in kindergarten at a close friend's house. I was friends with the parents and they lived down the street. She is 9 now and has sleepovers with friends, but only if I know the parents.
She went to her first over night camp when she was 7, right before 2nd grade. It was girl scout camp, and we had gone to the camp for a troop campout a month before so she was familiar with the camp.

Now she has a friend and the parents not only won't do sleepovers (fine with me, I get that rule for a family if that works for them) but they won't even let the child over to play at a friends house with out Mom being there the whole time. I have a hard time with this, because I just don't have the time to entertain this woman for the whole afternoon. This is not just at our house, but at any friend's house.

Maybe she doesn't know you well enough? I would not let my kids go anywhere that I did not know the family well enough. I would also want to know what other family members are there etc. Luckily most of the people that we have met feel the same way. Our kids are young now but I don't see it changing.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

My son went to lots of sleepovers starting when he was 6 or 7. They've stopped now, because like an OP mentioned there are too many variables (and too much potential for mischief) as they get older. He's 14 now. He'll occasionally have a friend stay overnight, but it isn't common anymore.

I wasn't comfortable sending him to overnight camp until he was 10. He went and I was a nervous basketcase. Still, I know that it is important for him to gain independence a little bit at a time and the experience has always been good for him. He leaves again for camp in a couple of weeks. These days I don't get nervous about it but I very much look forward to it.

 

[LisaNJ25]

around 5 or 6 with friends. Younger with aunts/uncles and grandparents.

My older 2 were at sleepovers last night.

My daughter goes on overnights with girl scouts. I am her troop leader so I am usually there. I am sending her to overnight night girl scout camp for week next summer. She will be turning 10 next summer when she goes and its out of state. I am not going.

 

[Michelle67]

Oh...I answered partially about my younger daughter...she is 8. I would be fine with sleepovers as long as I had met the parents, been to the house, felt comfortable with the situation, etc.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

My dd has been doing sleepovers since 5 and is at camp for a week right now. She will be 8 in August (and celebrating with a slumber party). I don't know that I'd send ds who will be 6 in a few weeks to camp at 7 but dd was ready and couldn't wait to go. She's at the camp I went to every summer. It was my very favorite part of summer every year. I also think it played a big part in my ability to make friends in new situations, gain confidence and independence, etc. I also loved having and going to sleepovers as a kid, I couldn't imagine making mine miss out on them. Lots more happens then sleeping and most of the bonding takes place with the late night giggling. I always know the parents, kid, etc.

 

[GatorGal]

DD8 has been bugging me recently for sleepovers, but about a year ago DH and I instituted a no sleepover policy after a family member had an "issue" with a neighbor. The issue happened with a neighbor they'd know since they first moved into the house 10+ ago. It made me realize that you really don't know who the monsters are, even if you've met the parents, been to their home, etc. I agree with the previous poster, if you're sleeping, you're not missing anything so you might as well be doing in your own bed.

 

[kbkids]

My kids are 10 and 7. Both of mine were 5 when they started going to friends' houses for sleepovers. I have to know the family very well - as in ALL of the family, that includes siblings. Friends from school that I don't know the family - nope, no way.

I made one exception once and now have a great friend myself. In 1st grade, DD begged me constantly to go spend the night with this little girl. I knew the child because I volunteered in the classroom alot. She was a sweet girl, but still - nope. The begging continued. I asked her teacher if she knew the family, and she said yes, they were great people - Mom was a teacher, Dad was a policeman. Felt better, but still uncomfortable. Finally, one night the Mom called to ask, and I was a nervous wreck. But in talking, found out she knew alot of my friends from church, so told her I'd think about it. Called ALL of the people she had mentioned - they all said I had nothing to worry about. So, I let her go. The girls have been big buddies ever since - they're now going into 5th grade, and to top it off, me and the mom are now great friends too.

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. DD had a friend this year who kept asking her to spend the night, the Mom would call and ask, but I just never felt comfortable with it. So, nope, never let that one happen. Same kid walked around the end of the year field trip massaging this little boy's back - the ENTIRE TIME!! Drove me nuts!! So glad I never let her go.


My daughter went to church camp last year for 4 nights (age 9). She did call me the 2nd night crying, but talked her through it and she was fine. A couple of weeks later she went to another church's camp with a friend for 2 nights. That was 3rd grade.

I'm reluctantly letting DS go to church camp for 2 nights next week. He's 7, just finished 1st grade. He's good friends with the kids, and one of my best friends will be there chaperoning. I'm not worried about safety, but I am concerned how he is going to do. I will be out of town with DD chaperoning another church camp for three nights before he leaves for his camp - so he'll end up being away from me for 5 nights, which is fine - he's just never gone that long before so not sure how he is going to do. He's a little more clingy than my daughter.

 

[Magic Mom]

Maybe she doesn't know you well enough? I would not let my kids go anywhere that I did not know the family well enough. I would also want to know what other family members are there etc. Luckily most of the people that we have met feel the same way. Our kids are young now but I don't see it changing.

She's been over 4 times now..... and I would think that if we are such a big risk that they would have stopped coming. Maybe my giant ax collection makes her nervous

Just kidding.....I only have a medium ax collection

 

[kbkids]

I agree with the previous poster, if you're sleeping, you're not missing anything so you might as well be doing in your own bed.

I totally get that, but some of my most fondest memories are sleepovers as a child. I don't want my children to miss out on that - but they certainly aren't going to just anyone who asks. Again, if I don't know everyone in the family VERY well, they aren't going. When it's been someone questionable, I will usually just invite that child over here.

 

[ckay87]

Nope. No need to sleep anywhere but home. If you are sleeping you aren't missing anything so you can come home and sleep in your bed. I will pick you up when the fun is over and you can come home to sleep.

Wow. That has really shocked me. Please understand that I don't mean to argue with you and certainly everyone is entitled to establish their own rules. But I got stuck on the "no need" part. Slumber parties, camps, etc....the whole process of sleeping and waking in a different place is a real adventure for kids. But that's okay. I was just very surprised by this.

My kids have been having sleepovers their entire lives. They just love it.

DS, 12, is going to to Boy Scout camp next week. It's a full 7 days. I worry about him being homesick, but I try to remind myself that nobody ever died of homesickness. It's hard though, but a great experience for him to live away from home for a little while.

 

[kbkids]

Now she has a friend and the parents not only won't do sleepovers (fine with me, I get that rule for a family if that works for them) but they won't even let the child over to play at a friends house with out Mom being there the whole time. I have a hard time with this, because I just don't have the time to entertain this woman for the whole afternoon. This is not just at our house, but at any friend's house.

That would drive me nuts. I'm sorry, I'd just have to say no.

 

[Magic Mom]

She has been to a two-night Girl Scout camp, LOVED it, and is headed for a full week camp in August. She is excited.

DD is at Scout Camp right now. It's her third year. She loves it. She talks about it all year. This year her picture was in the camp marketing brochure and she about died from excitement.
I have such mixed feelings about it. I am so proud of her independence and love that fact that she is creating such great memories, but on the other hand, she is my baby, and its so hard letting go even a little bit. Does that make sense?

 

[Michelle67]

Of course it does! My mother gave my husband a clock when our daughter (the eight year old, my oldest is not his child) was born that says "To have a child is to accept that your heart will forever walk around outside your body." Amen to that.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sleepovers start around 2nd grade - we've never had a situation where I didn't know the parents well. As for coming over to play, I have no problem with the parent staying ONCE, if they're still in preschool, but once they enter elementary school, I'm not sitting and having coffee with you. I can't imagine the mother of a 9 year old staying, unless we were close friends, and I wanted to avoid housework! I feel very sorry for her child.

 

[sha_lyn]

Wow. That has really shocked me. Please understand that I don't mean to argue with you and certainly everyone is entitled to establish their own rules. But I got stuck on the "no need" part. Slumber parties, camps, etc....the whole process of sleeping and waking in a different place is a real adventure for kids. But that's okay. I was just very surprised by this.

My kids have been having sleepovers their entire lives. They just love it.

DS, 12, is going to to Boy Scout camp next week. It's a full 7 days. I worry about him being homesick, but I try to remind myself that nobody ever died of homesickness. It's hard though, but a great experience for him to live away from home for a little while.

ITA....I can't imagine not having or going on sleepovers or summer camp. They are some of my best memories as a child. Both of my kids have been on and had sleepovers since they were probably 5-6. Both have done summer also. I just can't imagine denying them such fun childhood experiences.

I do have to wonder about these kids that will never be allowed on sleepovers. How will they cope when they do move out of the house if they have never been away from their parents over night