sleepless twin: what to do!!??

[quandrea]

I have a sixteen month old son, one of a set of twins (boy, girl) who went into a bed about four weeks ago. The initial transition was smooth, but over the past week he no longer is sleeping the night. He awakens any time between three and five and will not go back to sleep. I have tried staying with him, letting him cry it out, bringing him in with us. Nothing works. Does any one have any ideas for getting him back to sleep, short of going back to the crib? He was a wonderful sleeper from birth.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Did you also just separate the two of them or have they always slept independently?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I know a week can seem like an eternity when a child is keeping you up at night but what strikes me is HOW MANY methods you have tried in dealing with this in the course of just one week. I think you need to pick one (and one you are comfortable with) and stick with it for at least one week (two would be better) before giving up on it. Your son is not able to fall into a sleeping routine with the constant changes.

It is also possible that your son is not needing as much sleep as he used to. Have you tried cutting back on a daytime nap (or cutting it out all together)? You will be in for a week or two of grumpiness as he adjust to sleeping more at night and less in the daytime--but in the end it may help settle him out.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have B/G twins, too. They were in the same room until they were about 4 yo.

I agree with the pp in that you should pick one thing and stick with it, otherwise it's confusing for him and he will keep trying to do things his way. (And remember, once you give in at a certain level, he'll go above that level next time if necessary, which is why you really need to be consistent now.) Don't underestimate how important regular sleep routines are to the whole family! Keep that in mind when things get difficult.

Getting up regularly thus far has probably reset his internal clock to his waking at that time now. Your challenge will be to reset it again. It can be done, but it may take a little while (which can be anywhere from a day or two to a week or two - or more.) I'd favor simply and quietly impressing upon him that it's sleep time and sticking with that routine until he gets the idea. That means a "time to go back to sleep now" would be about the only thing I'd offer (other than toileting, if necessary), then I'd leave the room. It could be painful for a while - including waking up your DD and others in the household - but eventually (hopefully) he'll go back to sleep (in his own bed, ideally). Be sure that every message he gets from you is one of going back to sleep. (No lights on, play time, bringing him elsewhere, etc.)

Of course, others may feel very differently about this so I'm sure you'll get a variety of answers. Good luck!

 

[tiggersbombed2]

I don't know if this will help, but I'll put it out there. The same thing was happening to my dd 6. She had always had a problem sleeping thru the night. Then she got sick, so in order for her to get some quality naps in, I covered her window with a blanket. She started sleeping thru the night, then one spring morning I figured I'd take the blanket down, she started waking at night again.

Apparently, at night the car lights from cars coming up the street flash on her wall, then the brightness startles her awake. The adrenaline from being startled makes it hard to her to go back to sleep.

She now has a blanket over her window and sleeps thru the night .

 

[golfgal]

He was probably doing that in his crib but since he had no place to go would just go back to sleep. Put a gate on the door of his room and let him play in his room if he gets up (make sure it is safe in there to do that). Our son (also the boy in a set of boy/girl twins) was always an early riser, 5 am early. Even as a teenager he RARELY sleeps past 7 am.

 

[quandrea]

Thanks for the input. I agree that I've tried too many things. Last night I stayed with him because dh had to be in court today, giving expert testimony and I wanted him to sleep. Usually I am of the 'back to sleep' school which has always worked in the past. I find that his constant climbing out of bed is the biggest stumbling block to sleep. I go in, put him back in bed, he climbs out, goes to the door and screams. We repeat this dance all night. I guess I just have to hunker down and we'll all be tired for a while. If I could just get him to stay in bed...I also agree that his clock is reset. I'm working hard to keep him up this morning (he is tired from no sleep in the night). He hasn't slept with his sister since six weeks old (they bother each other). Does this all seem reasonable?

 

[tiggersbombed2]

Sounds reasonable to me.

Check and make sure he isn't consuming caffeine during the day. Lot's of drinks have it (like ice tea, green tea, etc.), chocolate in cookies, chocolate milk, cereal, etc. It made a difference with my dd too. She's 9 and I still have to keep an eye on her ice tea, one glass and then it's water.

Also, I would check around the time he wakes up as to what's going on. Does a latenight worker get home and slam the car door and it startles him? etc.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Has your son had the sniffles lately? I ask because it could be he has an ear infection, my kids got them all the time and this is how they would present. Some kids just don't show any other signs. If that's not it then management is key.

Do you have a sofabed on another floor of the house or something so your DH can go and get some sleep? That would cut down on your stress level of trying to keep the baby so quiet. If you aren't a SAHM could you maybe make a schedule where you go to sleep very early, 8-9 while DH takes the kids and then puts them to bed so that when you wake up at 3 you are up to taking care of your son and a full day of work? I hope this won't take too long for you, hang in there.

 

[quandrea]

He has had the sniffles lately, but seems right as rain otherwise. I'm a SAHM so I can get some rest in the day. He doesn't consume any caffeine. The gate on the door is an interesting idea. Right now we close the door completely so he can't get out and wander the house. We live in a back split so it is very hard to get far away from the bedrooms. You can basically hear the crying all over the house, but I think I have to let that go. He need to learn to stay in his bed, just like he learned how to stay in his crib. When I rationally think about it all during the day, less than a month in a bed is a short time in his little life. He struggled at first with staying in bed during nap, but I was firm for a day or two and he was fine. It's just harder at night when I feel bad about every one else's ruined night's sleep. I think we are in for a few very loud nights...

 

[taximomfor4]

He's 16 months old and perhaps isn't ready to leave the crib yet. Some kids aren't ready until you can reason with them about staying in bed.

That said, dd17 climbed out of her crib at 11 months old. Pediatrician advised leaving her in there anyway, but I caught her going head first over the foot of the crib. Could have really, REALLY hurt herself. I cleared out and baby proofed her room, put a little toddler bed in there and one lovey, her blanky, and her small pillow. I gated the doorway. Basically, her entire, empty room turned into a giant crib. Most mornings, I woke up and she was sleeping with her pillow and blankie against the gate. She clearly wasn't old enough to stay in a bed yet. She slept on the floor near the gate for almost a year. At nearly 2 yrs old, she started going into her bed for sleep! I think she finally "got" it.

 

[quandrea]

He's 16 months old and perhaps isn't ready to leave the crib yet. Some kids aren't ready until you can reason with them about staying in bed.

That said, dd17 climbed out of her crib at 11 months old. Pediatrician advised leaving her in there anyway, but I caught her going head first over the foot of the crib. Could have really, REALLY hurt herself. I cleared out and baby proofed her room, put a little toddler bed in there and one lovey, her blanky, and her small pillow. I gated the doorway. Basically, her entire, empty room turned into a giant crib. Most mornings, I woke up and she was sleeping with her pillow and blankie against the gate. She clearly wasn't old enough to stay in a bed yet. She slept on the floor near the gate for almost a year. At nearly 2 yrs old, she started going into her bed for sleep! I think she finally "got" it.

This sounds like my guy. Your dd must have been quite the sight at the gate each morning...poor thing. My ds is a big boy 32 inches tall and the crib was getting too small. I agree that he isn't quite there yet. I think I will gate the door. His bed is on the floor so he can get in and out safely. He has a pillow and blanket and his beloved thumb. Perhaps with a gate and not a closed door, he will feel more secure. Who knows. They are both napping now. DD just had a screaming session--woke up after only half an hour. I had to go up put her back in bed and repeat a few times. She's out again. Sometimes I'm not sure I'll survive this stage with two toddlers in the house.

 

[Disney Doll]

You'll survive the toddler stage.
My cousin has 14 year old twins....wait till you get to that stage!

 

[jen0610]

I don't know if this will help, but I'll put it out there. The same thing was happening to my dd 6. She had always had a problem sleeping thru the night. Then she got sick, so in order for her to get some quality naps in, I covered her window with a blanket. She started sleeping thru the night, then one spring morning I figured I'd take the blanket down, she started waking at night again.

Apparently, at night the car lights from cars coming up the street flash on her wall, then the brightness startles her awake. The adrenaline from being startled makes it hard to her to go back to sleep.

She now has a blanket over her window and sleeps thru the night .

Along this same line.

Is your DS a light sleeper? If yes, did you happen to notice if there was a change in the activites around your house - a neighbor who is now leaving for work a lot earlier and they car/ride is waking your son. Or someone coming home from work? New neighbor who keeps different hours?

It could be that an outside noise is waking him up enough to keep him up. Maybe a fan to block the outside noise would help. DH thought I was nuts sleeping with a fan on, 20+ years later and he can't sleep without one. While we still hear the VERY LOUD neighborhood noises, the general coming and goings are blocked. DS and DD both sleep with fans, every day of the year.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Has he had a check up lately? My son did that when he had an ear infection.

 

[quandrea]

Has he had a check up lately? My son did that when he had an ear infection.

Someone else mentioned this. He is just getting over a cold. I'm wondering if I should get him checked out.