Sleeping Issues with Daughter

[HLAuburn]

I'm completely embarrassed to admit this, but my 6 year old is still sleeping in my bed. There's no excuse, I know, but there have been a lot of extenuating circumstances in the past few months that have led up to this (first DH working out of state, we moved to FL, now DH working nights...). But I know it's time something needs to change!

She has slept in her own bed before, so I know it's possible, but she now says she doesn't like to be alone. I've tried to bribe her or offer to do something special for her room to make it more appealing to her, but she's holding out!

I've decided to pick a day to start in a couple of weeks when DH will be off work for a few days and so DD can have a little warning that things are going to change. Any advice on how to make the transition easier? Should someone lay down with her or should we let her fall asleep alone? What if she gets up and wants to come in bed with us - how should we handle that? I've watched Supernanny and I've read the books about sleep training, but since she's 6, it's a little bit of a different situation!

Any advice would be great! Thanks!

 

[golfgal]

Make up a 'bed' on the floor of your room. Tell her she can sleep there or in her own room. Eventually she will opt for her own bed.

 

[disney_mommy]

I'd so the same thing as you would do for a younger child. Let her know the deadline is approaching, but make it sound like it's not really a big deal. Just, this is what is happening on this day. Then put her to bed like you plan on doing for the next few years (in other words, don't lay down with her unless you plan on doing that forever). Make a routine, bath, book, lights out. If she gets up in the middle of the night, walk her back to her bed. Even if it happens a million times. She needs to know that this is the way things will be, no matter how much she whines or cries or begs.

(This advice is from my personal experience, by the way. )

 

[HM]

My daughter was the same way. We ended up putting a 'pallet' of blankets on the floor at the end of our bed and if she got up from her bed in the middle of the night and wanted to be with us, she was to sleep there instead. She had to start in her own bed too, that was the rule. It took years before she completely gave up on coming to our room, but it got better and better over time.

 

[minkydog]

I'd so the same thing as you would do for a younger child. Let her know the deadline is approaching, but make it sound like it's not really a big deal. Just, this is what is happening on this day. Then put her to bed like you plan on doing for the next few years (in other words, don't lay down with her unless you plan on doing that forever). Make a routine, bath, book, lights out. If she gets up in the middle of the night, walk her back to her bed. Even if it happens a million times. She needs to know that this is the way things will be, no matter how much she whines or cries or begs.(This advice is from my personal experience, by the way. )

This is how I'd handle it too. At age 6, she's not a baby. You can reason with a 6 year old. I suspect that you have been getting something out of this arrangement, too, since you mention your DH has been out of town, now on night shift. Perhaps the message you're unconciously sending is that *you* need *her.*


She's probably going to give you some pushback. And at 6, she's probably pretty verbal, so expect some pleading, begging and a little bit of manipulating (BTDT.) If you reallly mean it this time, you have to follow through EACH and EVERY time she comes to your bed. If you give in even once, you'll be right back where you are now. Personally, I don't think I'd go the bribery route. You want to reward her for behavior that she should be doing anyway? What's next, payment for eating her veggies?

My sister has a child who has slept with her pretty much since day one. They "tried" to get her to sleep by herself, but she never would. I say "tried" because they really didn't enforce the rule. In fact, my DSis decided that the best way to handle it was for HER to go to DNeice's bed. Therefore, now they have Dneice's room(where mommy sleeps) and Daddy's room. Did I mention that this girl is almost 13? And that she walks around the house naked except for her panties? Yeah. They're still "trying" to get her to cover up, too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

With my dd's I told them they could sleep in my room but they would have to bring their own pillow and blanket from their own bed.

Since that is a lot of work, they would never come back (unless really scared or something).

When they knew they either had the floor with dragging their stuff in my room or sleep in there own bed, the choice was made by them. They would sleep in a bed.

 

[Frantasmic]

Get a chair, comfortable to you and place it at or near her doorway.

She goes to bed in her bedroom. Start a ritual that she will grow accustomed to (bathe, brush teeth, get stuffed animals, read a story, etc.) then tuck her in.

You don't bribe her, because she is the child, you are the parent. You TELL her that she is not to get out of her bed and she is to go to sleep.

You read in the doorway until she does.

Staunch consequences should she get up in the middle of the night and climb in bed with you.

I agree with the other poster that you are getting something out of this, but it is probably just a good night's sleep. it is easier for you to have her sleep in your bed rather than be the "mean" parent and make her sleep in hers (even the waiting until DH is home in a few weeks suggests that you don't really want to be the parent to lay down the rules).

It might take two weeks and you might be tired, but it will be two weeks well spent.