Sitting with kids on the plane

[crashbb]

When you get to the gate, politely explain the situation to the gatekeeper and they will make accommodations. On the off chance they you get somebody who is not helpful, explain the situation as you board. The stewards want to keep traffic moving and they will do everything possible to accommodate you and get you seated.

Bolding mine.

"Everything possible" may very well involve you sitting in your assigned seats or getting off of the plane. They will not force someone to move for you.

As a "frequent" flyer, I am amazed that you expect the situation to come down to your getting those seats. I'm also rather surprised at the terms "gate keeper" (which I never heard used) and "steward" (which I have heard in years).

Has it, perhaps, been a while since your business trip? I only ask because there has been a distinct change in plane passenger load recently and the shift to more airlines charging to pre-select seats has also changed things drastically.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, regardless of your Husband's occupation, Enjoy your time there. My wife works for a German owned company.... she hopes to get a temp. assignment to the German offices, one day she wants to see my old stomping grounds. Don't miss Octoberfest, Bavaria, the BMW plant, and the original Cinderellas castle, Neushwanstein, Rhein river cruises, don't forget the Mozel river and the vinyards, Cologne art museums........as for your childrens experiences in the German school system, Just making your kids well rounded! a true plan for success...good luck...and certainly nice Discussing the topic with ADULT posters....fun

Thanks We are loving it here--and never at a loss for things to do and places to see We managed about half of your list this summer (plus Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, and lots of sights around Heidelberg). Does your wife happen to work for SAP? There are a lot of Americans here who do (DH does not--his company does not tend to bring over employees from the US facilities so they have had to figure it out as we go--but it has all worked out)

 

[NotUrsula]

Aren't the exit row seats forbidden for children?
I thought they are only for those who can assist at a possible emergency situation.
These seats are the most expensive at least at intercontinental flights.

Yes, they are, but the person who suggested this knew that. The exit row seats have the highest "trade value" of any seats on the plane. If you have an exit seat to trade for someone's middle seat, you will almost always get someone willing to trade.

Obviously, this tactic does not work on airlines that charge extra for the privilege of sitting in the exit row, unless you are willing to invest that much just to have a good bribe.

As for Nerdyone's assurances ... with all due respect, it sounds like you are a status passenger, or have been in the past. On airlines that award status, those passengers tend to get a level of service that infrequent flyers cannot and should not expect. The average person who flies only once a year or so should not rely on being able to just ask the Gate Agent and immediately get the seats changed. It doesn't hurt to ask, and it certainly might work, but it is not wise for the infrequent flyer to count on it.

 

[Swimalie]

My tall DH would have happily changed to have the legroom too Oh, and yes we have moved and split up to let families sit together. However, we do not split up ourselves form our kids to let other people sit with theirs (now we might as ours are 10 and 12, but not so much when they were younger). I am just happy if the two kids are together so they can play games

If it hadn't been for the extra legroom, this guy would have said "no" I'm sure and I would have understood. I think he liked the legroom idea a lot, though

 

[NHdisneylover]

If it hadn't been for the extra legroom, this guy would have said "no" I'm sure and I would have understood. I think he liked the legroom idea a lot, though

Oh yes, bulkhead seats are like gold to the tall

 

[scuba]

I don't think it is at all offensive to politely request someone change seats (and maybe explain you had paid to be together beore the weahter/mechanical issue)--especially if you offer the better seat to the person who would change and maybe offer to buy a drink or snack as well. I just don't agree with some posters who think if someone declines to change they are being rude, or should be forced to, etc. As I detailed earlier, we had very extenuating circumstances in 2001. I would have not flown on that flight had someone not been willing to let me sit with my 2 year old with the recent head injury. I did ask the other peron in the row if he would please change with my DD (who was 4, worried sick about her brother and understandably nervous about flying a month after 9/11). He declined (totally his right) I did not push it or hold it against him on the flight. I setteld DD in and checked on her as often as I could. It was not ideal but it was not the end of the world either.

I get it, I do, certainly I also don't feel that anyone has any obligation to switch seats and certainly don't consider it rude if one choses not to give up a seat in switch, I also don't advocate sitting someones minor child next to someone who desearves for the most part a stressless and peaceful flight. I think we are all advocating for responsible air travel for everone involved. I have changed flights and times to ensure available seats so my family can sit together. Unexpected situations do happen, but as pointed out, rare.

We have all seen them before, folks that get on the plane late, trying to put army duffel bags in the overhead bins, sippy cups rolling down the isle, yelling at one another and then looking at someone and saying...can you switch me so I can sit with my child?.......seriously if that is the way this adult lives life then I'm certain I might be better off sitting next to the child...LOL...good discussion though....I'm enjoying this and certainly seeing all sides now

 

[honugirl]

I agree.But on the same token, Don't assume that I am a cheap Penny pinching parent that didn't have the foresight to pay for seats ahead of time.Sometimes the airlines separate families even when they pay.Airtran has been notorious for separating families that HAVE PURCHASED advance seating.I fly enough and have seen it repeatedly.I booked my flights in June for my Dec 12-18th trip to WDW.I paid for our seats together.If I find that somehow between me checking the flight at home the night before and getting to the airport the next morning ,that my 5 yr old ( who has only flown once before) is not near me or DH and was split from us, I will be very very UPSET.

I wasn't talking to those parents who pay ahead of time. That was meant for someone a few posts back who didn't think it was fair that they needed to pay extra just because they had a toddler and needs to sit next to them. OK, yes, it's not fair that those of us who need to pick their seats have to pay extra, but it is what it is. In the grand scheme of things, it's really low on the priority scale.

 

[surfergirl602]

We are booked southwest for Christmas, and I can't afford to pay the extra 80 to prepick our seats. I'll be flying by myself with my three children for the first time across the country. I was going to check in right at the 24 hour mark. I called southwest and they said that i should have no problem getting seats together. We will have one car seat, but if everyone on that flight pre-checks in, than we won't be able to get seats together. I am really worried now! My kids have only flown once, and I do not have another adult going with me for them to sit with. They are scared of flying, and so am I!

 

[NHdisneylover]

We have all seen them before, folks that get on the plane late, trying to put army duffel bags in the overhead bins, sippy cups rolling down the isle, yelling at one another and then looking at someone and saying...can you switch me so I can sit with my child?.......seriously if that is the way this adult lives life then I'm certain I might be better off sitting next to the child...LOL...good discussion though....I'm enjoying this and certainly seeing all sides now

in those cases the child is probably better of next to you than the parent as well

Last DEcember DD (who is a very motherly sort) spent much of a Transatlantic flight entertaining the 3 year old next to her (we were all the way across three on one side of the aisle and DD in the middle section with several more seats beside her). The parents weren't doing much of anything for the little girl (they wanted to watch a movie) and mom looked kind of blankly at DD at one point and said something along the lines of it was a good idea of DD to pack toys and books for the flight, she hadn't thought about doing that for her daughter It was so odd.

We are booked southwest for Christmas, and I can't afford to pay the extra 80 to prepick our seats. I'll be flying by myself with my three children for the first time across the country. I was going to check in right at the 24 hour mark. I called southwest and they said that i should have no problem getting seats together. We will have one car seat, but if everyone on that flight pre-checks in, than we won't be able to get seats together. I am really worried now! My kids have only flown once, and I do not have another adult going with me for them to sit with. They are scared of flying, and so am I!

I am not sure (I have not been on Southwest since they started offering the prebuy option) but I think they only sell a limited number of those and there are still seats together. You may have to settle for 2 and 2 right behind each other though. At the very least you will have an ailse between you (every Southwest plane I have been on has had 3 seats on each side with an aisle down the middle). But, if you are REALLY not okay with being seperated from at least the older kids you should find a way to pay for the prebuy option.

 

[ajpa]

Don't know if it's been mentioned upthread, I'd just like to pass on a tip I learned about on DIS and used for Airtran:
- Use kayak.com to find the flight you want
- when kayak brings up the links of book now, pick the one that brings you to airtran directly (vs orbitz etc)
- this will let you pick regular seats without paying the $5 seat fee (but you'll still have to pay if you pick the "special" seats like the buklhead, etc)

Doing this I was able to pick seats that kept us together.

 

[Goofy_Dad_24]

We are booked southwest for Christmas, and I can't afford to pay the extra 80 to prepick our seats. I'll be flying by myself with my three children for the first time across the country. I was going to check in right at the 24 hour mark. I called southwest and they said that i should have no problem getting seats together. We will have one car seat, but if everyone on that flight pre-checks in, than we won't be able to get seats together. I am really worried now! My kids have only flown once, and I do not have another adult going with me for them to sit with. They are scared of flying, and so am I!

Family boarding on Southwest is after the A group, regardless of when you check in, unless you get boarding in the A group, and then you can board in your regular spot. We have used the family boarding numerous times on Southwest, and there have ALWAYS been MANY full rows of seats still empty when we got on the plane. I would say you are worrying for no reason.

 

[scuba]

Family boarding on Southwest is after the A group, regardless of when you check in, unless you get boarding in the A group, and then you can board in your regular spot. We have used the family boarding numerous times on Southwest, and there have ALWAYS been MANY full rows of seats still empty when we got on the plane. I would say you are worrying for no reason.

I would agree, love family boarding, always had plenty of seats to choose from

 

[Keri]

I'm in the same boat. Due to health problems we pay for XXL seats and no one in front of us.Its very important I can stretch my legs during a ten hour flight.
Costs are 150 Euro per flight.

Last May ,we just were seated, a dad cam up to us and asked if we could move . He thought the seats were ideal for his kids so they had space to play. I directed him to the FA and ofcourse he got a no no.

As he walked back to his seats passing us he yelled:"old people should stay at home,there ought to be a law that forbids them to fly".

Yea sure with that kind of entitlement you will get a real good seat.

See, now THAT is the kind of entitlement I can get behind being pissed about. And a situation where I can ABSOLUTELY agree you shouldn't have given up your seat -- regardless of your own health needs, he just thought it would be better to PLAY? That's nutty. I am not talking about older kids or extra space or whatever. I am only talking about YOUNG children separated from a parent.

Security? Is the child less safe in one seat than in another? Same for well-being. In an emergency, I - having paid full attention to the safety instructions - know to, and how/when to, assist any persons seated adjacent to me who need assistance.

Emotional security. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be next to my kids at take off. They are SCARED, plain & simple. They have only flown a few times, and my DD's ears hurt a LOT when she flies. They are incredibly well behaved children and would have no problem entertaining themselves for a reasonable amount of time (but would need help getting a new book or leapster, perhaps, since it can't all be stored in their seat). However, take off and landing are hard for them both, especially my 5 year old because of her ears. She needs the comfort of a parent or someone she is close to. She cries. It's hard. So yeah, if you're travelling alone, I'd think you'd be willing to trade 24A for 33A so she can sit next to her mommy. And if you won't, well, I won't think you're a very kind person. And I'll be crying in my seat right along with my poor DD.

We *did* pay for our seats on Airtran for our trip. 2 years ago we did curbside check in & my 3 and 4 year old were both put in seats far away from us. I went immediately to the check in desk and they fixed it for us. That year we were not able to select our seats ahead of time. However, who knows what might have happened -- we booked Airtran after our United flights were cancelled -- about 6 weeks out. Had that happened 2 weeks out, we likely would have been in the OP's same position. And yeah -- I would certainly hope like hell there were a few compassionate people on the plane who would be accomodating to us. I don't think that's wrong. Would I make a huge fuss? No. But would I think less of you as a person if you had no reason for the refusal? Yep. (and yeah, I know you wouldn't care. Because if you're that callous as to sit next to a crying 5 year old who wants her mommy because she's scared instead of switching your seat, clearly you don't give a crap what a stranger thinks of you either )

 

[MommyMcQueen]

Wow - this is the second heated thread that I have read on this topic in the last 3 days! I have to say I am really shocked by the responses and general opinion that parents should not be upset if they can't sit by their young child (under 5).

As a very infrequent flyer (last time I flew was 2001 - with no kids), I am glad to be able to educate myself a little bit in advance of our first trip to Disney and our families first flight. Reading these stories makes me very nervous about flying with my kids, who will be 6 and 4 next summer. We'll have about a 3 hour flight.

My concern with sitting away from my kids is that it is their first time on a plane...they have no idea what to expect or what it will be like or feel like flying, taking off, hitting turbulance, finding the bathroom, knowing when they can even get up to go to the bathroom, etc. Now my 6 year old, I think he would be okay after takeoff, he'd probably be scared during takeoff to be sitting alone, not really knowing what was happening, and being surrounded by strangers. But I know he could sit the flight and keep himself entertained and take care of snacks and drinks, whatever.

My 4 year old is another story - he's very skiddish of unfamiliar places and is not shy about letting us know what he's not happy. It's not that he can't "behave" on a filght, but he gets scared and just melts down. He needs a lot of reassurance and I'm sure no stranger will want to provide that for him...nor should they be required to, he's not their child. Yes he can get out his own toys from a bag, eat his own snack, even sit pretty nicely most of the time...but to realistically think he could sit alone for 3 hours in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers makes me very nervous - not sure if he'll be able to handle that at all.

The other issue that I have is that this is our families first trip together! I want this to be part of the vacation experience, not just a way to get from point A to point B! I know a lot of people who fly often probably think it's not a big deal, it's just a flight...it's not anything special. But for us it is a big deal, its the start of our vacation and I want to spend it with my kids, and it's my kids first time on a plane. Going to Disney is something we'll probaby do just this once, maybe once again when they're older, but the flight there is part of the trip and part of the memories for us.

So, here's to hoping that a newbie like me can book my flight correclty, purchase the appropriate seats together, actually get to sit with my kids upon boarding, and not inconvenience anyone if the airline does not have seats for us together after I've done everything I possibly can to get seats together.

 

[CheshireSmile]

And yeah -- I would certainly hope like hell there were a few compassionate people on the plane who would be accomodating to us. I don't think that's wrong. Would I make a huge fuss? No. But would I think less of you as a person if you had no reason for the refusal? Yep. (and yeah, I know you wouldn't care. Because if you're that callous as to sit next to a crying 5 year old who wants her mommy because she's scared instead of switching your seat, clearly you don't give a crap what a stranger thinks of you either )

You'd think less of them as a person if you didn't know the reason they were refusing you? Wouldn't that put you in the exact same un-compassionate boat with them? You're not making any room for allowance that maybe this terrible, horrible person who's not giving up their seat might actually have a very plausible and logical reason for choosing to remain in it, even if they didn't feel the need to explain to you WHY.

 

[Hannathy]

Family boarding on Southwest is after the A group, regardless of when you check in, unless you get boarding in the A group, and then you can board in your regular spot. We have used the family boarding numerous times on Southwest, and there have ALWAYS been MANY full rows of seats still empty when we got on the plane. I would say you are worrying for no reason.

Unless her kids are all over 4, or if SW holds to their 1 parent 1 child under 4 rule.

Kids are much more resilient and up to change than adults any day and I would be willing to bet most would do fine even if as I have read on here the parents think they wouldn't.

 

[Keri]

You'd think less of them as a person if you didn't know the reason they were refusing you? Wouldn't that put you in the exact same un-compassionate boat with them? You're not making any room for allowance that maybe this terrible, horrible person who's not giving up their seat might actually have a very plausible and logical reason for choosing to remain in it, even if they didn't feel the need to explain to you WHY.

A plausible & reasonable explanation for refusing to move from one aisle seat to another? No. You're right, I don't think there really is such a reason. And if that makes me uncompassionate, fine. But I put the feelings and needs of children ahead of rational, learned adults, whether they are my kid or not. And if they don't "feel the need" to explain their reasoning, then yeah, they can deal with me thinking they suck. Sorry.

The only circumstance I can fathom not giving up my own seat in that situation is if I'm already sitting next to my own fightened, young child. At which point, it would be pretty obvious why I couldn't do it, AND I would explain and express my regret anyway. Because that's the kind of person I am. I don't assume all people are being entitled, or that they were too cheap to pay for an assigned seat, or anything like that. I simply would look at the situation and the fact that they were in a position that would be heartbreaking for me and my children, and I would either switch or explain very kindly why I couldn't. I don't see why on earth that is so much to ask.

And, in case anyone is unclear, I would never "demand" the switch, or ask in a way that sounded like I expected anyone to bow to my whims. I would simply nicely explain the situation and the reasons my child would be better off with me, and ask nicely. So yeah, at that point, if you have no good reason other than not wanting to move, yeah, I think less of you. It's a child. I am so floored on a regular basis by people who want to punish children for the assumed "sins" of their parents. I wish people could look beyond their own pettiness and think of the kids in situations like this. It's not about MOM. It's about a scared little person. Period.

 

[princess momma]

While I think it's ridiculous to delay a flight twenty minutes so the passengers can all sit with their kids. Especially given there were apparently so many families in the same situation, why not just keep an eye on the kids seated near you?
A twenty minute delay ripples through the ENTIRE flight system on a given day; perhaps even longer if the plane flies overnight. It also affects OTHER flights scheduled to take off at a given time.

I'd gladly let you sit next to my youngest daughter on an airplane. She's been known to scream like a banshee during takeoff and landing. Sitting next to strangers is perfect.

Give people the seats they choose when they book their flight. Problem solved, then we won't need to hold up a flight for 20 minutes.

 

[CheshireSmile]

Goodness, I never said I would think horrible things of you as a parent or think you were acting entitled. I probably wouldn't think anything at all. I was just questioning why you would judge another person when they could have a very good reason for being and staying in that seat, but not feel compelled to explain their reasons to you, a stranger. I'm sorry I seem to have upset you so much.

 

[scuba]

Unless her kids are all over 4, or if SW holds to their 1 parent 1 child under 4 rule.

Kids are much more resilient and up to change than adults any day and I would be willing to bet most would do fine even if as I have read on here the parents think they wouldn't.

I'm not getting your point, still after all of this are you implaying that despite what a parent might think about how a child would handle flying you would still stick a child in said situation where they are surrounded by strangers uncertain of what to expect. Sure children are resiliant to the extent that they can foil every plan to get at that cookie jar, but flying for the first or even 12th time?...I am just knocked out of my seat about the opinions here.......We travel alot, we hear about air travel tragedies alot, if I'm going down I want to be with my family, and that means not having my children 10 rows away. that adults sitting next to MY child has no obligation to them, and given the fact that they might have children to get home to chances are my child would be on their own. I advocate early planning and changing your itenerary to ensure your sitting next to one another and if that means paying extra then well, pay extra, i"m more concerned about the haphazard ways airlines occasionally splits parties up despite said party making plans to sit together, similar to Our situation where they combined flights to make a full flight.......shouldn't happen, it just shouldn't happen. I don't expect someone to sit beside my or anyone elses unsupervised child...I just don't