Single parent/I just need to whine a little

[Pin Wizard]

Single mom of 11 years checking in. I usually find that I'm doing what has to be done right NOW! I don't even think of what's coming up. Sure it's tough, but I also like being able to do what I want without checking in with someone else first! I know for a fact that if my husband were still here, I would be getting grief about putting my son in a private school. Well, it's great to just put him there! No flack from anyone. But I also think it's important to get occasional time to myself. It helps the relationship between me and my son when we're back together. I've been talking to a friend about visiting them for a couple days alone. No kids! Now, without family here, who would I trust with ds? Not an easy decision. Or do I take him and get a few hours here and there by having a sitter watch him. Yes, I've become resourceful during the past couple months. I found out that the State of Virginia has an organization with ceritfied babysitters. And in the last day or two I found a nationwide babysitting service. Just had e-mail from them that yes, they could put me in contact with certified babysitters while I'm traveling and need one! Woooooooooo hoooooooooo! A single mom's dream in my book! I may be taking that route for this trip.

 

[disykat]

Single parents and working parents do have it hard. It sounds like you're doing a great job. I agree you have every right to vent. That being said, that doesn't mean a SAHM isn't busy! Any way you look at it - being a mom is hard work!

 

[01Sweetpea]

You and I have alot to talk about when I meet you in a few days (18 and counting)!! I was widowed when my boys were 2 and 4 months old (they are now 11 & 8). I stayed single raising my boys until I met DH 3 1/2 years ago. I fully understand the single parent thing, and boy is it tough! Just know you are doing what is best for your cute little boy, and even though you think he may be "missing out" on things, the fact that he has a mom like you who is so concerned about his ability to be exposed to extra activites, doesn't compare to the love and attention you give him!

And besides, you're bringing him to Disney, now who is a better mom than you???

See ya guys soon!

 

[*Fantasia*]

Originally posted by christineann
I've been a single mother for 10 years, and my kids are now 18 and 15. Soon after I got divorced, I had 3 part time jobs in addition to teaching Sunday school. One of my part time jobs was running the after school program at their school, and one mother had the nerve to pick her kids up late almost every week because she got "stuck at the gym". My kids and I are very close, and they are very understanding about the limitations we have, time wise and financially. My daughter plays high school basketball, and her older teamates offer her rides to local games so I can just go straight from work. We eat most of our meals at home and rely heavily on the crock pot and the George Foreman grill. Am I worn out? You bet, but our home life is happy and peaceful, and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

By the way, I was a SAHM when my kids were small, and I loved it. The kids each played a sport, and my son was in scouts and my daughter was in choir. That was it. The rest of the time they played and rode their bikes. They often had friends over after school who were in after school programs, and it gave us all a little variety. I've seen both sides.

What happened to the Dad? Does he take any part of being a father?

 

[christineann]

The dad chose vodka over us. I divorced him in 1996, and the kids went to a family court mediator in 2000 and ended visitation (child endangerment, mental abuse during visitations). Their teachers said that when visitation ended, the kids became totally different - relaxed, not stressed, happy. It's difficult to work everything out time-wise, but we've managed, and we have a great appreciation for each other. We haven't seen or heard from him in over 3 years. My daughter still looks over her shoulder though when we go to the mall, and she is afraid of him. I've told her on the advice of my attorney that she doesn't have to worry about him anymore, but she is still nervous.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I'm so sorry to hear that christineann. I'm glad that you kids are more relaxed now and probably feeling safe now. Always heads up just in case...

It is hard to be a single mom, doing a lot of things for our kids. As long as we believe...God is always there for us. HE will not give us more than we can handle. And I think we are all "SUPER MOM!" We are the sunshine to their lives. And vice-versa, they bring sunshine to ours!