Single friend rant.......

[birdiesunshine]

I have a very good friend who lives about 1.5 hrs away from me and we get together about once every month or so. She has never been married and has no children. The problem is that when she comes to visit me she always spends the night in our guest room, that's not the problem. DH always watches our DD while my friend and I go out at night. The problem is that when it's my turn to go visit her she always wants me to stay over because she wants to go out at night and thinks it's stupid for me to drive home late. I like to go visit her early in the day so I can be home at a reasonable time. I can't get it through to her that I like to come home at night and my husband would perfer me to come home at night too. Am I being weird by not wanting to stay over my friends house or do single people not get the whole married thing???

 

[Tracey1974]

I'm married and have a baby and would still want to come home. Just something about being in your own bed and it is nice to just get back home at a reasonable hour. Do you stay out later when she stays at your house? Maybe she thinks you want to stay over just b/c she stays at your house.

 

[jfulcer]

I'd prefer that DW would do whatever made her more comfortable. I do think it's asking a lot for you to have to drive home at night, even if it is because you just want to get home. You need some time with your friend, and since she's 1.5 hours away, I'd say that it'd be a good 'sleep over' kinda thing for you to do - even if you are married.

I really don't think it's a single/married thing for your friend, I think it's that wants to and likes to spend time with you and loses a good portion of an evening to be able to do it.

I'd be all for DW to do a over night like that. It gives me good Daddy-Daughter time with my two, and gives her a deserved rest.

Rememeber you're not a bad mommy/wife if you want to spend time with your friend. It's normal.

 

[jfulcer]

DH always watches our DD while my friend and I go out at night.

I also take a little umbrage to this statement. A baby sitter 'watches the kids'. IMHO saying it like that makes it sound like it's not a natural thing for a Dad to take care of his kids.

 

[birdiesunshine]

I'm married and have a baby and would still want to come home. Just something about being in your own bed and it is nice to just get back home at a reasonable hour. Do you stay out later when she stays at your house? Maybe she thinks you want to stay over just b/c she stays at your house.

She knows I like to go home. That's the weird thing. It's like she tries to force me to stay. She says things like "it will be a good break for you" The thing is that I don't need a break. DH & I can be alone together anytime we want. My mom watches my DD anytime I need her to. I am a home-body and love being with my DH and DD. I have a lot of freedom. I get my hair, nails, massage, shopping time, gym etc. etc. etc. I just don't like to stay away overnight.

 

[birdiesunshine]

I'd prefer that DW would do whatever made her more comfortable. I do think it's asking a lot for you to have to drive home at night, even if it is because you just want to get home. You need some time with your friend, and since she's 1.5 hours away, I'd say that it'd be a good 'sleep over' kinda thing for you to do - even if you are married.

I really don't think it's a single/married thing for your friend, I think it's that wants to and likes to spend time with you and loses a good portion of an evening to be able to do it.

I'd be all for DW to do a over night like that. It gives me good Daddy-Daughter time with my two, and gives her a deserved rest.

Rememeber you're not a bad mommy/wife if you want to spend time with your friend. It's normal.

The thing is, I don't like to sleep away from DD or DH. I stated to another poster that I have a lot of freedom and just feel like sleeping at home.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I also take a little umbrage to this statement. A baby sitter 'watches the kids'. IMHO saying it like that makes it sound like it's not a natural thing for a Dad to take care of his kids.

I think she was just using that as a descriptive, telling who was watching the child and not calling the Dad a babysitter...at least that is how *I* took it.

Anyway, there is no way I would want to spend the night away from home unless I was totally trashed (and that hardly EVER happens).

 

[birdiesunshine]

I also take a little umbrage to this statement. A baby sitter 'watches the kids'. IMHO saying it like that makes it sound like it's not a natural thing for a Dad to take care of his kids.

Well what do you call it when your wife goes out and you are with your child. I didn't say my DH babysits DD. I said he watches her when I'm out. Just as I watch her when he is out. This doesn't have anything to do with my original post, can we please stick to the topic. I don't like arguing logistics.