Simple Inexpensive Commitment Ceremony

[Targsmom]

I don't post much here because I usually dont' think to visit unless we're planning a trip.

Well, we're planning a trip. LOL!

In June of 2011, my partner and I will have been together for 10 years. (woot!)

We were thinking of planning a commitment ceremony for December of that year (cuz we love Disney in December)

I'm talking simple.. like uber simple.. Even the Disney Escape package is more than we need.

I just emailed the Swan and Dolphin to see if they offer commitment ceremonies.

Does anyone know of any other options we can explore.. maybe something "a la carte"?

 

[rpmdfw]

I don't post much here because I usually dont' think to visit unless we're planning a trip.

Well, we're planning a trip. LOL!

In June of 2011, my partner and I will have been together for 10 years. (woot!)

We were thinking of planning a commitment ceremony for December of that year (cuz we love Disney in December)

I'm talking simple.. like uber simple.. Even the Disney Escape package is more than we need.

I just emailed the Swan and Dolphin to see if they offer commitment ceremonies.

Does anyone know of any other options we can explore.. maybe something "a la carte"?

Other than the Swan and Dolphin option, Disney Fairytale Weddings is pretty much your only choice at Disney World. There are a lot of "a la carte" options, but those are for "Wishes" weddings and commitment ceremonies which have a MUCH higher mimimum spending limit than an Escape option.

Personally, I think the Escape package does a great job of "simple and elegant" for a small group of people, but then "simple and elegant" wasn't what we were shooting for, so who am I to judge?

 

[Swmhc]

Or come to Iowa and you could be legally married ! Then go to Disney for the honeymoon. We are one of the few states that recognize same sex marriages (for the time being anyway). The Republican keep trying to get it overturned, but have not succeeded yet. If you want any ideas, pm me.

 

[Targsmom]

We could go to Massachusetts to get married and NYS would recognize it.. but it's an accounting/logistical nightmare. You file joint State returns but individual Federal. I haven't explored the full depth and breadth of how it would affect us in all the different facets of life. We actually want to consult with professionals before we legally do that.. because I'm not sure that it would be of any real benefit to us.

I'm open to hearing anyone's thoughts.

Besides, I'm a New Yorker dammit.. I'm so pissed that NY didn't pass same sex marriage.. don't they WANT my marriage dollars.. I mean, the State is broke for crying out loud

/rant.

 

[DOPEYLUVER]

We could go to Massachusetts to get married and NYS would recognize it.. but it's an accounting/logistical nightmare. You file joint State returns but individual Federal.

I have PM'd you on this.

 

[cmpdw4me]

We could go to Massachusetts to get married and NYS would recognize it.. but it's an accounting/logistical nightmare. You file joint State returns but individual Federal. I haven't explored the full depth and breadth of how it would affect us in all the different facets of life. We actually want to consult with professionals before we legally do that.. because I'm not sure that it would be of any real benefit to us.

I'm open to hearing anyone's thoughts.

Besides, I'm a New Yorker dammit.. I'm so pissed that NY didn't pass same sex marriage.. don't they WANT my marriage dollars.. I mean, the State is broke for crying out loud

/rant.

We SO know your pain. We're doing our own commitment ceremony here locally, then honeymooning in DW. If you PM me I'll share my details with you.

 

[TagsMissy]

I can't help you much in this particular subject but I wanted to say GOOD LUCK and hope your ceremony is all that you want it to be no matter where you do it.

 

[Targsmom]

Thanks everyone.. we are going to hammer out what we actually want to do this weekend. We'll be on a bus for almost 3 hours so we'll have time.. LOL!

What it really comes down to is we don't really "need" a ceremony.. we aren't really into that kind of stuff.. we bought rings and made a concious decision to commit to each other almost 10 years ago... we arent' flashy people. but we thought it would be fun. And it would be nice for my FIL who is struggling with Alzheimers disease to see his daughter "married".

I think it would be more for our families than anything... which brings us to letting them know as soon as possible so they can start saving pennies. This is a destination "wedding" after all.

 

[rpmdfw]

Thanks everyone.. we are going to hammer out what we actually want to do this weekend. We'll be on a bus for almost 3 hours so we'll have time.. LOL!

What it really comes down to is we don't really "need" a ceremony.. we aren't really into that kind of stuff.. we bought rings and made a concious decision to commit to each other almost 10 years ago... we arent' flashy people. but we thought it would be fun. And it would be nice for my FIL who is struggling with Alzheimers disease to see his daughter "married".

I think it would be more for our families than anything... which brings us to letting them know as soon as possible so they can start saving pennies. This is a destination "wedding" after all.

In that case, I'd see about having dinner at a Disney restaurant with a "private room" with your family and calling it an "anniversary party". You can still stand up and make a speech to each other about how happy you are together, and other's can make a toast or two. Get dressed up, or go casual, whatever works for you.

It ends up still being a celebration that's "all about the two of you" without the formality of it.

Off the top of my head, I know that Jiko and California Grill have "private rooms" but there are also "out of the way" areas at YSH and O'hana among others.

 

[Targsmom]

Thanks! I brought that suggestion up this AM..

surprisingly, my honey was all kinda "oh ya I suppose we could do that" and sounded very disappointed..

so I'm kinda wondering if perhaps she wants to be married in Disney more than I realized.



The three hour bus ride will be interesting...

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Listen closely to that tone of disappointment.

This may really matter much to her, more than she feels comfortable in saying. Maybe she feels silly, maybe she feels she may be letting you down in some way, maybe she feels a bit like if she pushes it would imply that she thinks the past ten years haven't been "real" which isn't what she means at all.

I don't know what your budget is like, but if you do decide to have a ceremony at Disney you can go with the very smallest one.

There are beautiful spots all over the place, one on the boardwalk (a little public, but some folks don't mind that) one in their back garden "cottages" area, the Yacht Club, ect. Other resorts too of course.

The Swan has a lovely side court that is the site of many a wedding ceremony. They don't all have to be in the sterile atmosphere of the Wedding Chapel (am I the only person who doesn't like that building)?

This is your wife, your partner in life, for life. You have one life together. Enrich it with all the actions, people, "things" that are important to the both of you, and to each of you independently of the other.

Have a beautiful ceremony and a very productive bus ride!

 

[rpmdfw]

They don't all have to be in the sterile atmosphere of the Wedding Chapel (am I the only person who doesn't like that building)?

Nope. We didn't like it either. Couldn't possibly picture ourselves getting married there.

 

[Targsmom]

Listen closely to that tone of disappointment.

This may really matter much to her, more than she feels comfortable in saying. Maybe she feels silly, maybe she feels she may be letting you down in some way, maybe she feels a bit like if she pushes it would imply that she thinks the past ten years haven't been "real" which isn't what she means at all.

My honey has never been shy about saying what she wants. I suspect she was "mulling it over".

However, she has been known to surprise me.. she's very stoic about things... and sometimes she hesitates to break that calm cool exterior.

I feel very very fortunate that we have always been really excellent about communicating with each other. I'm sure we'll hammer this out..

Thank you very much for the advice... you reminded me that sometimes I need to poke her a bit.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

My wife and I are the same, but I know that every now and then she (and I do to) hesitate. Who knows why. It just happens.

Now. Go poke!

I'm glad you said that Rob. Made me think of some old cranky church filled with puritans or something... the or something is what worried me.

 

[Targsmom]

the or something is what worried me

you should have seen my father's wedding... I told my friends that if they didn't hear from me in 24 hours to call the cops.. it meant I was locked in a room, watching a movie and drinking the kool-aid.

scary scary scary family he married into... we don't talk anymore. Which I think is probably a good thing.

 

[rstout]

My partner and I are going to The World to celebrate our 25 anniversary in December. I've been working on ideas for some kind of special something. One of the things I've looked at is the Gifts of a Lifetime web site. This is an independent company that plans special events INSIDE Disney parks and resorts. I think that Disney has some rule about weddings inside the parks and Gifts of a Lifetime will not violate any Disney policies, but perhaps a ceremony outside a park, but still on property. Anyway, take a look at what they offer. They customize an event for you with pricing starting at $295.

Happy Anniversary!

http://www.giftsofalifetime.com/

 

[Targsmom]

Well we talked it over.. and we decided that for now, we are going to plan a family get together.. her family hasn't met mine etc. Her family lives in Orlando.. mine lives in NYS.

If by some miracle, Florida or the Federal government decides we can legally marry (hey it's 18 months away.. you never know) we will turn it into an official Disney Wedding.

Now.. the dilemma.. do I invite my quasi-estranged brother and his girlfriend and her 6yo? We are slowing starting to get to know each other again after 8years..

sigh

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

You have 18 months to decide. OK. 17.

Thanks for the update!

 

[cmpdw4me]

Well we talked it over.. and we decided that for now, we are going to plan a family get together.. her family hasn't met mine etc. Her family lives in Orlando.. mine lives in NYS.

If by some miracle, Florida or the Federal government decides we can legally marry (hey it's 18 months away.. you never know) we will turn it into an official Disney Wedding.

Now.. the dilemma.. do I invite my quasi-estranged brother and his girlfriend and her 6yo? We are slowing starting to get to know each other again after 8years..

sigh

I can't tell you what's right for you...but I know, we decided to ONLY invite family & friends who've been supportive of us and whom we have a close relationship with. We want to be surrounded by love that day. As much as I really like her family, they are not supportive of her...they are tolerant, a big difference. They don't acknowlege us a couple..they still send SEPERATE Christmas cards and we never get an anniversary card from them.( My DP has been OUT to her family for 20 years!) That being said, why would we want that added stress of, "Are we making them uncomfortable" drama on OUR special day.

You really have to weigh the costs...good luck!

 

[Targsmom]

eh.. if I decide to invite him, we'll have to do it soon. He's going to need to save up some $$ to go. Same with my Mom. And my friend who might as well be family.

Bro isnt' necessarily estranged because of the queer thing.. more that he was a drunken all around closed minded *** for years. And I didn't go to his wedding (see the awkward?) 8 years ago. He's now divorced, not drinking and involved with a very nice girl who has a 6yo and pretty darn happy for the first time in his life.

We still disagree on a lot of things. but a lot of why we were not talking has sort of become less important... it's hard because when he does something that ticks me off, my first reaction is to shut down communications.

I'm so very different than most of my family. and I generally choose not to associate with people who are closed minded bigots and unfortunately most of my family is that way. My brother has grown a lot.. most of my family has not.

I gave everyone a shot on facebook.. I have unfriended all but my brother. He doesn't make racial jokes, say something is "gay" when he means "stupid" or think throwing around the word "******" is okay.. and yes, those are real examples of why I unfriended my family members.

On the flip side, Facebook is the reason my brother and I are communicating now... be it hesitantly.

/tangent