Silly things your kids want to buy

[bjscheel]

Do you discourage your kids from buying certain things with their own money? Or is it theirs to do whatever and learn from any dumb purchases?

DD15 wants to spend $65 on a custom onesie based on a character that is made by one of her favorite cosplayers. Basically it's going to be a black fleece one piece with a bright green pawprint on the back. I've been putting her off but she hasn't let up in her desire to have one. She wants it for Halloween and for lounging.
I guess I will let her do it, it will make her insanely happy (crazy kid and her fandoms ).

 

[Alesia]

Do you discourage your kids from buying certain things with their own money?

Never. Her money, her choice.

 

[lorijohnhill]

My daughter is 9. I try to ask her why it is she wants the item (that I think is a ridiculous purchase) and then explain to her the reasons I think she shouldn't buy it. Some things I have just said no straight out. Often times I will let her buy the item and learn the lesson (and I usually get the "I should have listened to you, Mommy.") Another thing I try to do is redirect her to a better choice. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

 

[runwad]

I usually try to talk them out of whatever and stall them so they have time to really think about if they want it, but ultimately they are allowed to get whatever they want. It's the hardest thing for me, but you really gotta let them make their own money mistakes, it's how we all learn.

 

[Hikergirl]

Its funny you started this thread today, I just went through this with my ds12. He wanted to spend $50 on xbox points so he could make some in game purchases. I told him why I thought it was a complete waste of money, that I know he'll wish he hadn't, and all that other stuff. In the end though I told him it was his money, he earned it and while I would like him to save it for something else or just save it he's young and its one of the few times he'll be able to spend so frivolously without worry. Go for it.

 

[3Gsandme]

I don't interject much with the teen. I usually remind her if something is coming up that she wants money for (she went to a Con this summer and I reminded her a few times that she'd want to shop there before she spent money on something). I try to encourage the little two away from junk or something that duplicates stuff we already own. But, if it's their money, I support them making their own choices with it.

 

[MomToOne]

Like others, I point out that I wouldn't spend the money if it was me, and why, but then tell her it's her money, her decision.

Case in point - DD16 is paying a ridiculous amount of money to have her hair ombre'd this weekend. Not something I feel is necessary or a smart use of money at her age. But she's set on it.

 

[kamik86]

With my parents it depended on what it was.

Some ridiculously expensive game I wanted would be fine. But dad wouldn't let me dye my hair for a few years (and when mom, my sister, and I did do it we just didn't tell Dad, I think it took him a few days to even notice at which point it was hard for him to say it was totally ridiculous)

 

[xlsm]

I'm another who lets them ultimately spend their own money as they want to, but I also give them a list of "what ifs". Like, what if a new game you want comes out? I'm not buying it for you, so don't even ask. What if you see something you want on vacation? <---I use that as an example because we tend to travel around their birthdays, and that birthday money just burns a hole in their pockets. I have to remind them that if they want something special while we're on a trip, there's no guarantee we're going to buy it for them.

I'd say we're about 40/60 on them listening to my suggestions. My oldest spent over $100 on Pokemon stuffed animals one year after Christmas with the money he'd received as gifts from grandparents, etc. I kept asking "are you sure?" and remind him that it was a significant amount of money he could use on something big, and he was adamant. But when the salesperson rang it all up and gave him the total, it hit home. He still has all of them, but the experience made an impression because he will randomly say "I can't believe I spent $100 on stuffed animals." any time we're having a money conversation.

 

[adisneyaunt]

Great advice given by others.. I agree

Op, re: ur Avatar... By the same daughter? I'd rather see her get some art supplies lol. Talented girl!!!

 

[Eureka]

When they were very young (like under 8) we would maybe try to discourage them if we knew they would never use it but after that, we've let them go for it. Sometimes regret is a good thing to learn with money.

 

[scrhsa]

My daughter is 9. I try to ask her why it is she wants the item (that I think is a ridiculous purchase) and then explain to her the reasons I think she shouldn't buy it. Some things I have just said no straight out. Often times I will let her buy the item and learn the lesson (and I usually get the "I should have listened to you, Mommy.") Another thing I try to do is redirect her to a better choice. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

This exactly. Through 3 dds, many times over I don't know how many times we've gone over the pros and cons of buying one thing over another. It has led to some loooonnng days shopping though!!!

 

[scrhsa]

Like others, I point out that I wouldn't spend the money if it was me, and why, but then tell her it's her money, her decision.

Case in point - DD16 is paying a ridiculous amount of money to have her hair ombre'd this weekend. Not something I feel is necessary or a smart use of money at her age. But she's set on it.

My girls have gone through wanting their hair colored multiple times. I told then when they could afford to pay the bucks to keep it up and looking nice they could do it. But I wasn't going to pay the big bucks for a one time shot for it to look horrible 6 months down the road And when it came to them footing the bill for the one time shot they quickly decided that it wasn't worth it It was great to spend Mom's money for hair color but not their own

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

My parents let me do and buy whatever I wanted ( in the legal limits! ) but said when it's gone it's gone. Part of the learning curve. So day one if I spent it all on a Star Wars toy on vacation they did not bail me out. I soon learnt to shop around first. A value I still cherish to this very day! Don't buy the first Darth Vader you see turned into the first car, house and many more items!

 

[tvguy]

My (adult) son spent $300 on an "authentic" Darth Vader costume.

 

[hsmamato2]

My parents let me do and buy whatever I wanted ( in the legal limits! ) but said when it's gone it's gone. Part of the learning curve. So day one if I spent it all on a Star Wars toy on vacation they did not bail me out. I soon learnt to shop around first. A value I still cherish to this very day! Don't buy the first Darth Vader you see turned into the first car, house and many more items!

This exactly. From the time my kids were about 5, i let them do this with their own money. the real secret is I didn't bail them out later when they might be sorry the $ was gone... If they had enough for the item, but not the tax, they had to wait,etc. Even .12 made a difference when learning about spending on wanted items.The entire reason I wanted them to have their own money was to learn to spend or not spend it.... even on junky crap(which much of it was)- it pretty much worked b/c they're older now, and very good at handling their own finances.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

This exactly. From the time my kids were about 5, i let them do this with their own money. the real secret is I didn't bail them out later when they might be sorry the $ was gone... If they had enough for the item, but not the tax, they had to wait,etc. Even .12 made a difference when learning about spending on wanted items.The entire reason I wanted them to have their own money was to learn to spend or not spend it.... even on junky crap(which much of it was)- it pretty much worked b/c they're older now, and very good at handling their own finances.

Good to know! So many of my friends landed in massive credit card debt. Not because they had no choice like some poor souls who loose their jobs etc or have to do this but simply because they had the mindset ....I want it now thinking. Then expected the bank of Mom and Pop to bail thrm out. But Mom and Pop by this time had money issues of their own. Then they could not get mortgage loans, car loans, hot mess. Learn early pays dividends! Stick to your guns parents honestly we appreciate it later on!

 

[bjscheel]

Great advice given by others.. I agree

Op, re: ur Avatar... By the same daughter? I'd rather see her get some art supplies lol. Talented girl!!!

Drawing is by her older sister who is happy with the big set of Prismacolors she got for Christmas. She did have buyers remorse over the $15 she spent on pastels and didn't like.

I see I'm not alone in this dilemma! I did tell her she could message the seller to order her thing last night.

 

[MichiganScott]

I usually try to talk them out of whatever and stall them so they have time to really think about if they want it, but ultimately they are allowed to get whatever they want. It's the hardest thing for me, but you really gotta let them make their own money mistakes, it's how we all learn.

I've found the stalling to be the greatest tool, and really try to keep my mouth shut when they pick up things I consider to be bad choices (again, we learn mostly from mistakes). I try to make sure they take time to think about it. I.e. if they see something they MUST HAVE NOW, I'll say "Ok, cool, let's check back when we're ready to leave and we can pick it up then." By then, they may have found another MUST HAVE or perhaps realized they don't really want/need that original thing after all.

 

[MomToOne]

My girls have gone through wanting their hair colored multiple times. I told then when they could afford to pay the bucks to keep it up and looking nice they could do it. But I wasn't going to pay the big bucks for a one time shot for it to look horrible 6 months down the road And when it came to them footing the bill for the one time shot they quickly decided that it wasn't worth it It was great to spend Mom's money for hair color but not their own

Yeah, I shut it down the last few years by telling her what the cost was, and that I wasn't going to pay for it, she had to. And that a home job wasn't acceptable, because that was likely to end in disaster, since neither of us has any experience dying hair. That kept her from doing it for awhile, but now she's reached the point where she is willing to spend her own money on it. We talked about how you can get locked up in "hair jail" as my sister calls it, that once you do it you end up having to do it over and over and over to maintain it. That's in part why she decided on ombre - it'll get cut off as she gets haircuts over time, but she'll never have a roots issue and so she shouldn't be in hair jail LOL

But I still don't get it. She has gorgeous hair that most people would kill for. Long, thick, straight but holds a curl fabulously. Why she feels the need to mess with it - and pay a lot of money to do so - I'll never understand But I guess that's part of the allure of it...