Signature -OT

[KT27]

So I was a little bored at work today & started doodling. I tried signing my new last name to be, seems weird , just doesn't seem to flow as easily when signing it... Anybody else find it hard changing your signature?

 

[hmgolden]

It took a couple months until I consistantly remembered to tack on DH's last name at the end of my name

 

[shellncesar]

Yeah, I know what you mean. My DH last name is spanish and my name is Michelle Kathleen. It sounds okay. I bet when we get married people will look at me and think "she is not mexican" lol oh well it is worth it to be his mrs.

 

[WDWbride2007]

I might be in the minority, but I am not going to change my name. I was born and raised with my last name. I love my family and I want to honor my father. My DF doesn't really see it that way, but it's not his choice. Over time and many discussions, we came to an understanding that my last name is very important to me. If only I could get him to change his last name...=)

 

[KT27]

I'm going from Smith to David easy names i just cant get that D to flow!

 

[hiwaygal]

I don't always remember to SAY my new last name, like if I'm calling someone...and the other day someone was calling me "Mrs. G----" and I just stood there like an idiot!!

Signing my new name is getting easier...but initialing things is still a bit of a struggle...

WDWbride2007...while you might be in the minority here, I think more and more women are choosing to keep their maiden names in marriage. I think two of my cousins did that (one I know for sure, the other ???). Anyway, it's between you and your DH2B!

 

[umaangel00]

I found it hard for maybe the first month but that was it I went from Hollenbeck to Kidder so my new name was a lot easier.

I was happy to take DH's name. To be honest, my family is very important to me but I think it's silly to not change your name when you get married. I guess I feel it's disrespectful to your DH like you really don't love him and his name. Just my opinion I guess.

 

[hmgolden]

I might be in the minority, but I am not going to change my name. I was born and raised with my last name. I love my family and I want to honor my father. My DF doesn't really see it that way, but it's not his choice. Over time and many discussions, we came to an understanding that my last name is very important to me. If only I could get him to change his last name...=)

DH and I talked for a LONG time about if I was going to change my name or not. I really like my madien name, and for various reasons was not to thrilled with the idea of being labled as one of DH's family. I love DH, but....

Anyway, it was VERY important to DH that we have the same last name - to him it signifies family, and he wants us to both have the same last name as any future kids. It was important enough to him that he was going to change his last name when I wouldn't budge. In the end though, I couldn't let him do that. I felt like making him change his name would be taking away his man card So, I was the one who changed their name. There are days I regret giving in, but most of the time, I love being Mrs. DH's last name.

 

[princesslisa]

I love my name too. I made a deal with my DH2B. We are going to name our first son (if we are fortunate enough to have one!) my last name. The first part of my last name is actually a male name (not too common, but a really hot actor actually has it!), so it works. My DF also has a spanish last name (even though the name is Japanese, go figure) So Lisa and then ***a sounds funny. So I am going to bite the bullet and go by my full name - Lisa Marie

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

I am excited to take my DH2B's last name. My current last name is ok, but it is pronounced froze (not spelt that way though), so whenever people do get it right (some think it is rose or just pronounce it completely wrong), they joke about how I personnally "froze". They always say "Jessica froze? How did that happen?" and then think it is so original. My DH2B's last name can not be changed into a joke in anyway, so it'll be nice.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I might be in the minority, but I am not going to change my name. I was born and raised with my last name. I love my family and I want to honor my father. My DF doesn't really see it that way, but it's not his choice. Over time and many discussions, we came to an understanding that my last name is very important to me. If only I could get him to change his last name...=)

I've struggled with the same thing. And it is not becuase I don't love him or disrespect him in any way (as someone else posted). More than anything, I was raised with this last name. This is me. Additionally, his parents are both teachers. So, they will always be Mr. and Mrs. ____. Considering the fact that I want to teach as well... there's something that just doesn't sit with me. I'm hyphenating... and what a killer that is going to be at 20 letters. The kids (God willing) will have his last name. If I change my mind and feel differently, I can change it to just his last name later in life.

We do live int he 21st century. The origins of changing a name are rather barbaric... it was your new husband claiming you as property. While I'm not a huge feminist, this still seems wierd to me... heck, the origins of marriage are a property exchange. I am my own independent person and we are a family. I don't see that not taking his name changes that.

BTW- if you should ever divorce, to change your name to your maiden name takes an act of the court. My mom ran into this... she had a professional name separate from my father's last name. When she tried to chage to this professional name after the divorce, they would not issue her a passport in that name becuase she didn't have a court order. This is despite the fact she had driver's license, credit cards, and even a federally issued ID (for work) in the professional name. I found it very interesting, to say the least.

 

[IrishCinderella]

I am having a really hard time with this one...my last name is just that, mine. I grew up with mine, he grew up with his. I just can't get over why we have to change our name...way back when, women were property transferred from father to husband. If someone had thought about it a little differently back then, it might be the guy who would have to change his name these days! It took me a while to get my DF to understand this, but he finally got it when we took a vacation in Ireland a few years ago. I had made all the reservations with my very Irish last name. So the whole trip, people kept calling my very dark skinned, obviously not Irish, very Italian DF "Mr. Irish Last Name". He's pretty level headed, but he kept saying to me, "That's not my name!" I thought it was hilarious!! I said, "Now you know how I feel, I don't want to give up my name either!" So even though I finally told him that I would change it if he really, really wanted me to, he now actually encourages me to keep my name the way it is...as long as the kids have his last name! Oh well, you can't change social upbringing overnight!


I still haven't made my final decision, but at least he now understands my fundamental objection to the antiquated reason why a woman have to give up their identity just because she's in love...

*But* as strongly as I feel about this whole issue, I feel just as strongly that it is a personal decision for each couple to make...and that the result of that decision is *not* a reflection of either the woman's independence of the man's selfishness. It's just a "one size does not fit all situation"!

 

[WDWbride2007]

Wow...for a while, I thought I was going to be the only one. Jill, I completely agree with you. I feel that my name is part of me, and I don't want to give it up because I sign a marriage contract. My DF and I have been together for 8 years...(and sharing an apartment for almost 2). We have already committed to spend our lives together. We see the wedding day as a chance to celebrate our love with our families. I don't see why that day should also come with me having to give up part of who I am. My father is the most generous person I have ever met. He has sacrificed everything for our family. He never had a son to pass on his name (only 4 daughters). I don't understand why it is such a big deal for me to want to honor him. Besides, my DF's family doesn't even know my first name after 8 years!!! It is frustrating and depressing to think that I would turn my back on my father to take on the name of a family that obviously doesn't care enough to get to know me. I love my DF with all of my heart, but he is marrying me for me (and my name is part of the package). He is a wonderful, kind soul. We are lucky to have found each other, and I was so happy when he understood my feelings on the subject. I guess it was also a bit of compromise because he promised his mom to name his first son Alexander. That was before I came along. Although I don't like the name (I have known too many Alexanders in my lifetime), I know it is important to him. In the end, we did agree that our kids will have my last name as their middle name and his last name. We both have Spanish names that cannot be pronounced by most Americans, so our kids are kind of screwed either way.

Edit: Now that I say the post by IrishCinderella, I must emphasize that I speak only for myself. Some ladies on the board feel that it is important to take on the last name of their DH. I am not trying to push my view in any way, since it is a VERY personal decision. I just needed to vent for my own reasons....

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

*But* as strongly as I feel about this whole issue, I feel just as strongly that it is a personal decision for each couple to make...and that the result of that decision is *not* a reflection of either the woman's independence of the man's selfishness. It's just a "one size does not fit all situation"!

That is just it... I was thinking about this in the shower. You said it in a nutshell... and just about word for word of what I was going to say!

When I told Brye that I didn't want to change my last name, he was very defensive. He just always thought that was the way it happened. When he noticed that my sister-in-law, Aunt, and even mother hadn't changed their's, it all clicked. I come from a long line of women who have not changed their names for one reason or another. He was concerned about the kids having a 20 character long hypenated last name. When he realized that I wanted our children to have his last name, he settled down. At this point, it is my decision to make becuase I am the one that must love day-to-day with that decision.

 

[cryssi]

I will change, but I haven't officially done it yet. Right now, since all of my stuff is in my maiden, I've just hyphenated. When I get around to going to social security (where everyone tells me to start), I think I'm going to keep all my names, and have 2 middle names. Is that weird?

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

No... you do what fits you best. If you want to keep it and just tack his on the end, go for it. If you want to hypenate, go for it. If you want to change it and drop your maiden completely, go for it. I'd considered this, too.

 

[umaangel00]

To be honest I guess to each is own on this one. I do not feel it babaric to take your husband's name. It does not view you as a piece of property. How are your kids going to feel when mommy and daddy have different last names? Growing up, kids in school got picked on for that because their parents did not have the same last name. I view it has cruelty on your children for that to happen. Why would you put your children through that if you didn't have to?

Again just my opinion.

 

[WDWbride2007]

I think if children want to be cruel any excuse will do. I was picked on because I didn't have a middle name. Children should be taught at a young age to be tolerants of differences, especially in today's society. In our case, I do not think it is cruel to have a sense of both families heritage. I will teach my kids that they should honor their roots. This is very important to me as all I have from my family is the name. My parents came to this country from Cuba with nothing after Castro established his dictatorship. They had to leave everything behind to seek freedom and opportunity in the US. I grew up without family heirlooms. Thus, my name is my heirloom.

 

[IrishCinderella]

To be honest I guess to each is own on this one. I do not feel it babaric to take your husband's name. It does not view you as a piece of property. How are your kids going to feel when mommy and daddy have different last names? Growing up, kids in school got picked on for that because their parents did not have the same last name. I view it has cruelty on your children for that to happen. Why would you put your children through that if you didn't have to?

Again just my opinion.

In this day and age (where unfortunately 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce...not all of ours, of course ), I don't think it's unusual for parents and kids to have different last names. The point is that nobody should judge anyone based on their last names for any reason...

Besides, I want my daughters to know that they have a choice, and my sons to know that there is more than one way for this stuff to play out (like in UndertheMistletoe's family). This is how society evolves; everyone makes their own choices !

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

To be honest I guess to each is own on this one. I do not feel it babaric to take your husband's name. It does not view you as a piece of property. How are your kids going to feel when mommy and daddy have different last names? Growing up, kids in school got picked on for that because their parents did not have the same last name. I view it has cruelty on your children for that to happen. Why would you put your children through that if you didn't have to?

Again just my opinion.

Wow...

Kids find any and every reason to be cruel. Even those children with the same last name as both parents. Heaven forbid you have an awkward last name or onw that can easily be contrived to another word.

I guess these are the types of schools I have always been sheltered from. In boarding school, we had people with last names (Trump, Kidd, Penney, Carter, Taft, etc) and they weren't treated any differently than those who were there on scholarship. One of my funniest memories is Mr. Trump's youngest son asking me if I could spare a dollar or two so he could get a bite to eat at the Grille.

I view it as a cruelty that parents don't teach their children any better. We certainly never had to deal with it.