*sigh* things have changed so much around here

[Pinnie]

I have been staying out of these conversations but I can't anymore. I think a lot of the "hurt feelings" go back to all that "self esteem" junk that was popular a few years ago. Kids never got a chance to grow a thick skin. If anyone thinks that people don't talk behind their backs, they need a serious reality check. It happens at the beach, in a grocery store, at a theme park.

If there is a site out there that you don't like, then DON'T GO THERE! It really is that simple. If you don't want people to comment on certain aspects of your life then DON'T POST THEM. If you don't want honest opinions that may not agree with yours, the DON'T ASK.

There is so much finger pointing here lately, it reminds me of a saying my grandma used to say, "remember when you point your finger at someone else, you have 3 more pointing back at you."

What I find ironic is that when I read Carly Roach's posts about the other site, I wonder, "How does she know all this stuff and isn't it against the rules to read there?" How come she isn't banned? The problem seems to be inconsistancy.

I am going to crawl back in my hole now, but rest assured that I can take criticism and won't hit that little triangle button and expect someone a mod to come to my defense.

I miss a lot of the banned people even though I didn't post a lot to them, I did enjoy the banter and lurked a lot.

pinnie

 

[CathrynRose]

I have been staying out of these conversations but I can't anymore. I think a lot of the "hurt feelings" go back to all that "self esteem" junk that was popular a few years ago. Kids never got a chance to grow a thick skin. If anyone thinks that people don't talk behind their backs, they need a serious reality check. It happens at the beach, in a grocery store, at a theme park.

If there is a site out there that you don't like, then DON'T GO THERE! It really is that simple. If you don't want people to comment on certain aspects of your life then DON'T POST THEM. If you don't want honest opinions that may not agree with yours, the DON'T ASK.

Do I come across as not having thick skin?

Again - I didnt post anything that would justify my husband or child being brought into the conversation - at all - what so ever.

Much of my 'ridicule' had nothing to do with what I posted. Much of what is being said I posted is like a game of Telephone. Way beyond exaggerated. And twisted, and contorted.

And FTR - I dont go hanging out there. An anonoymous DIS'er waaaaay back when, let me know I was being talked about. And I should go defend myself. Seems thats how most people stumbled across the place in the first place.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

And FTR - I dont go hanging out there. An anonoymous DIS'er waaaaay back when, let me know I was being talked about. And I should go defend myself. Seems thats how most people stumbled across the place in the first place.

That's how I found the place, and it was from someone who is a frequent poster over there. Before that, I had no idea the place even existed.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

If there is a site out there that you don't like, then DON'T GO THERE! It really is that simple. If you don't want people to comment on certain aspects of your life then DON'T POST THEM. If you don't want honest opinions that may not agree with yours, the DON'T ASK.

I have never asked for opinions for the things I get flamed for, but people get mad at me for not taking them. And I don't post a lot of personal details, but what really gets me is the constant stalking, like about where I work and stuff. Like I said though, they're no where close to figuring out where I really am, so that doesn't really matter, but it's the fact that they would even try to find out that gets to me. To tell us not to care about people talking about us behind our backs, while they care enough to try and figure out every detail of our lives. They should be the ones told to not care, especially since I want nothing to do with any of them.

 

[CathrynRose]

To tell us not to care about people talking about us behind our backs, while they care enough to try and figure out every detail of our lives. They should be the ones told to not care, especially since I want nothing to do with any of them.

Excellent point.

 

[Pinnie]

Again - I didnt post anything that would justify my husband or child being brought into the conversation - at all - what so ever.

Much of my 'ridicule' had nothing to do with what I posted. Much of what is being said I posted is like a game of Telephone. Way beyond exaggerated. And twisted, and contorted.

And FTR - I dont go hanging out there. An anonoymous DIS'er waaaaay back when, let me know I was being talked about. And I should go defend myself. Seems thats how most people stumbled across the place in the first place.

I agree what when kids are brought into it, that crosses the line> BUT, why anyone would post their family pictures, their names and ages and dates of trips on a public internet board is beyond me. I teach a class in internet safety and that is the issue I discuss first. Just because you can post the pics and info, doesn't mean you should.

If you post benign issues than you shouldn't have to worry about them being twisted or contorted, right?

My guess is that you still go over to whatever site it is that you object to. Hence, my issue with the inconsistancy of how the rules are applied.

Again, if you don't want people to discuss you behind your back, don't give them anything to talk about.

pinnie

 

[Pinnie]

I have never asked for opinions for the things I get flamed for, but people get mad at me for not taking them. And I don't post a lot of personal details, but what really gets me is the constant stalking, like about where I work and stuff. Like I said though, they're no where close to figuring out where I really am, so that doesn't really matter, but it's the fact that they would even try to find out that gets to me. To tell us not to care about people talking about us behind our backs, while they care enough to try and figure out every detail of our lives. They should be the ones told to not care, especially since I want nothing to do with any of them.

I can beg to differ. You posted where you live once last summer. You post about your family. Many of your posts should be blogged instead of on this board.

If you want nothing to do with them, keep your private issues private. It really IS that simple.

pinnie

 

[MushyMushy]

Again, if you don't want people to discuss you behind your back, don't give them anything to talk about.

pinnie

What is with this "blame the victim" mentality? If I don't want people to ridicule me in real life, does that mean I should never put myself out there?

 

[Bonnie40]

I have been staying out of these conversations but I can't anymore. I think a lot of the "hurt feelings" go back to all that "self esteem" junk that was popular a few years ago. Kids never got a chance to grow a thick skin. If anyone thinks that people don't talk behind their backs, they need a serious reality check. It happens at the beach, in a grocery store, at a theme park.

If there is a site out there that you don't like, then DON'T GO THERE! It really is that simple. If you don't want people to comment on certain aspects of your life then DON'T POST THEM. If you don't want honest opinions that may not agree with yours, the DON'T ASK.

There is so much finger pointing here lately, it reminds me of a saying my grandma used to say, "remember when you point your finger at someone else, you have 3 more pointing back at you."

What I find ironic is that when I read Carly Roach's posts about the other site, I wonder, "How does she know all this stuff and isn't it against the rules to read there?" How come she isn't banned? The problem seems to be inconsistancy.

I am going to crawl back in my hole now, but rest assured that I can take criticism and won't hit that little triangle button and expect someone a mod to come to my defense.

I miss a lot of the banned people even though I didn't post a lot to them, I did enjoy the banter and lurked a lot.

pinnie

I couldn't have said it better Pinnie! It's just unfair that clearly there are people still here who read (and even posted) "over there" but weren't banned - but there were people who were accidentally redirected "over there" and were banned! Hello!

Has the CB dramatically changed? Absolutely! Mistrust, people afraid to post, and the same nastiness as there always was....and some 'special' people still able to stay here....

It boils down to principle....too many people's eyes have been opened to how things really are around here and it doesn't feel very good....

 

[disneyfav4ever]

If you post benign issues than you shouldn't have to worry about them being twisted or contorted, right?

My guess is that you still go over to whatever site it is that you object to. Hence, my issue with the inconsistancy of how the rules are applied.

I believe in the last month or so the only things I've posted are that I went to the shore, I asked how many bathing suits and what snacks I should take to the shore, I posted a few comments on dining reviews, and that's about it. How is any of that worth repeating? And yet I'm sure it was, that's just my guess though, I don't read over there anymore.

And as far as the rules being inconsistant, I believe in the explanation thread it was said that those who thought they were banned unfairly could contact the admin and be reinstated. If they did nothing wrong, why don't they do that? Starting threads just to say they were banned isn't doing anything except keep this debate going.

 

[Bonnie40]

What is with this "blame the victim" mentality? If I don't want people to ridicule me in real life, does that mean I should never put myself out there?

Yes!

As more of a lurker, it's ALWAYS AMAZED ME that people post the stuff they do....OMG!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I can beg to differ. You posted where you live once last summer. You post about your family. Many of your posts should be blogged instead of on this board.

If you want nothing to do with them, keep your private issues private. It really IS that simple.

pinnie

When did I post where I live? And I've never posted anything revealing about my family, just random things that are in no way traceable, and some vents that can't pin point where I live.

 

[Pinnie]

What is with this "blame the victim" mentality? If I don't want people to ridicule me in real life, does that mean I should never put myself out there?

It really isn't "Blame the victim" It is about personal responsibilty. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the kitchen.

pinnie

 

[Bonnie40]

I believe in the last month or so the only things I've posted are that I went to the shore, I asked how many bathing suits and what snacks I should take to the shore, I posted a few comments on dining reviews, and that's about it. How is any of that worth repeating? And yet I'm sure it was, that's just my guess though, I don't read over there anymore.

And as far as the rules being inconsistant, I believe in the explanation thread it was said that those who thought they were banned unfairly could contact the admin and be reinstated. If they did nothing wrong, why don't they do that? Starting threads just to say they were banned isn't doing anything except keep this debate going.

Many did and never were given the courtesy of a reply....

 

[Pinnie]

When did I post where I live? And I've never posted anything revealing about my family, just random things that are in no way traceable, and some vents that can't pin point where I live.

There was a post last summer when you went outside to watch the space shuttle. That is where you mentioned where you live.

pinnie

 

[disneyfav4ever]

There was a post last summer when you went outside to watch the space shuttle. That is where you mentioned where you live.

pinnie

I don't remember posting that at all, care to supply a link?

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Are they ridiculing the whole site? Or just discussing posts?

They are ridiculing the posters on this site. Not just the posts. About a couple weeks after the "incident", which I wasn't even aware of until then, I searched out this "other" forum. What I read on there was enough to just piss the heck out of me. I haven't been back there since and don't want to go back there.


While there are some posters that I have missed, I don't think the fourm has changed that much. I still either get ignored or attacked for the most part. what has changed is the VMK board since Disney shut down VMK.

 

[MushyMushy]

It really isn't "Blame the victim" It is about personal responsibilty. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the kitchen.

pinnie

So you think it's all well and good to accuse someone of being a pedophile with absolutely nothing but hot air to back it up?

 

[punkin]

It really isn't "Blame the victim" It is about personal responsibilty. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the kitchen.

pinnie

To continue your metaphor, some people can stand the heat but take objection to the cook purposely throwing hot oil all over them.

 

[Carly_Roach]

It really isn't "Blame the victim" It is about personal responsibilty. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the kitchen.

pinnie

And if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Same concept.

You can't tell others to take responsibility for their actions without taking a good look at those actions, which went on for years, that prompted the owners of this board to finally do something about the people who were attacking their members.

It's one thing to have your posts and reputation ripped to shreds on some other board for nothing other than someone else's twisted fun. This is America. You are free to be as mean as you want on boards that allow that kind of meanness. But it's quite another thing when the person ridiculing you behind your back somewhere else is posing as a nice person on the DIS, where many people feel secure enough to talk openly with people who they think are friends.

It's the height of arrogance to tell the victims on the DIS to take responsibility for their actions while, at the same time, whining about how other people's actions got them banned from the DIS.

**DISCLAIMER** This post was not meant as a personal attack on anyone nor should it be inferred as one. This is merely an observation about a situation and is directed at no one in particular.