I'm going to answer this strictly from your viewpoint as a first-timer and with the knowledge that you have a small daughter, rather than as a list of my favourites. For example, Fantasmic is my least favourite of the evening entertainment spectaculars and we only bother with it around one trip in three, but, for you, it's a must-see. I'm not a fan of parades, either, but everyone should see them at least once.
Magic Kingdom
Don't miss: SpectroMagic, Wishes, Mickey's PhilharMagic, Disney Dreams Come True, Judge's Tent (every child should get to meet Mickey and have their photo taken with him), Storytime with Belle (this one's a bit borderline, and I probably wouldn't go out of your way to do it, but, if you happen to be in the right place at the right time, it has a certain charm which is hard to describe).
Miss: Monsters Inc Laugh Floor, Ariel's Grotto (unless your daughter is a mad fan), Fairies Meet and Greet (unless you don't mind the loooooong wait), Toontown Hall of Fame, Dream Along with Mickey (another borderline one and many will probably disagree).
Epcot
Epcot has lots of live entertainment, much of which is well worth stopping for if you happen across it, but not really of the type you'd schedule into your itinerary.
Don't Miss: IllumiNations, Turtle Talk with Crush (great for little ones), Honey I Shrunk the Audience,
Miss: Circle of Life, Impressions de France, Reflections of China, O Canada, The American Adventure. These aren't dreadful attractions, but won't hold the attention of a small child.
Disney's Hollywood Studios
Don't Miss: Beauty and the Beast; Fantasmic; Block Party Bash (again, borderline, but there will be lots of familiar characters for your daughter); American Idol; Lights, Motors, Action; Indiana Jones; Playhouse Disney; Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Muppet:Vision 3D
Miss: Sounds Dangerous, One Man's Dream (although it is fascinating and a must-do if you're really into Walt and the history of WDW).
Animal Kingdom
Don't Miss: Finding Nemo - The Musical, Festival of the Lion King, Mickey's Jammin' Jungle Parade (the best of the current parades), It's Tough to be a Bug.
Miss: Flights of Wonder
Universal Studios
Don't Miss: Shrek 4D, Terminator 2 3D, Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast, A Day in the Park with Barney (if your daughter's a fan).
Miss: Animal Actors on Location, Fear Factor Live, Twister, Universal Horror Make-up Show (unless you've got plenty of time), Beetlejuice's Graveyard Revue.
Islands of Adventure
Don't Miss: The Eighth Voyage of Sinbad
Miss: Poseidon's Fury (can be a bit intense for little ones)
and Beauty & The Beast in HS are most definately my faves by faaaaar! 
) not going this year doing 
in two weeks and have a cruise booked with p&o for next year - but I am obviously suffering withdrawl symptoms as I am on the florida forum.
