Should we leave the baby at home with Grandparents?

[janni518]

I would not fly without my infant. Certainly not both of you together. god forbid...

Say what? You think it's better to have the baby with you if something goes wrong???!!!


If you decide to leave the baby home, it might be wise to do a few overnight stays before you go. A sort of dry run if you will, to see how everyone handles it.

I see nothing wrong with it, may be a nice break and leave you and your wife re-energized and better parents. Bottom line is there will be no lifelong effects on anyone either way.

Relax, breathe, and certainly don't let strangers tell you how to parent. Do what is right for your family.

 

[lisareniff]

This is one of those strong emotional type questions that everyone has an opinion to and is compelled to tell you. (Including me!) What really matters is how you, your wife and child feel about it when the time comes. Luckily you can wait until close to your vacation to make that decision (no extra airline seat, you can cancel the Grandparent with out fees, etc) and I would think that waiting is a wise choice so much changes with the birth and addition of a new person to your life.

Now here is my view..
First, 6 months is so young. Being away from your wife (sorry, but the babe was inside her for 9 months) for that amount of time is a long time for both of them. Having grandparents that consistently babysit is a great plus and may make this possible if you (meaning your wife) really wants it. There is as many have pointed out the personality of the child. It is amazing how different they can be right from day 1. Before becoming a parent I thought it was 80% nurture(upbringing) and 20% nature(genetics) - the blank slate concept - but after a couple weeks with my first I thought the opposite. My first, was a very needy baby. She was colicky, never napped without being held (yes, I tried everything), would cry when anyone else held her and would scream in the car at least for the first 6 months. I was exhausted but I knew she needed me. My second look exactly like my first but was completely different in personality. Such an easy baby. Now I would never have decided to leave my first child at 6 months but my second?? maybe... but she was so cute I don't think I could have either.

Sorry so long. Good luck with your new family member!

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

I don't think that you will be able to make the final decision until your baby is here and you have spent time together !

Previous posters have given you great information, but the decision is you family's. It depends on all the players.

We did this with our second. Long story short, we had a trip planned where the grandparents were coming along. They cancelled about a month out, but offered to take both kids.

I immediately said no...I was on maternity leave for pete's sake!...my husband and friends worked on me and we ended up going (for more that a weekend !)

It was the right decision for us. There were some tears involved and you definitely have it in the back of your mind "what if the plane crashes?" There's no getting away from that.

However...we had a very memorable vacation and the next possible time we went without the kids was 11 years later.

One word of caution, is to consider the grandparents feelings...if you decide that you can't do it, make sure that they know it is because you can't leave the baby not because you question their abilities. This is very important.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I agree it makes no sense... but I still to this day do not and will not fly without my Kids and they do not fly without me. i am a white knuckle flier I hate it always will, Whether they are with me or not it's not anything I remotely enjoy.

My DD now 22 started flying alone at 16. I was ok with that. anything younger than that I just am not comfortable with.

On that note our neighbor's went away for a mommy and daddy weekend. and actually took 2 seperate flights, So that solved the issue for them about the same plane.

 

[KLR-wlv]

Have you considered getting another room and bringing the GP's? I flew with our 6 week old to SC and went to Hilton Head. She's 20 months now and has flown 4 times I think? It's easy at that age.(easier than a toddler!) I would say if this is your first child - you may have separation anxiety and not enjoy your trip if your concerned about the baby the whole time. And 6 months is old enough that the baby would be able to enjoy a dip in the pool or sitting on the sand playing or sleep in a stroller while you're at the pool. I'd definitely wait to make the final decision until about a month before - you don't need to buy a plane ticket or anything.
BTW I've been to VB twice in October and it's been great both times. Here's hoping for a mild hurricane season.

 

[TammyAlphabet]

Unless the the baby has medical issues or GM and GD can't handle it, I would definitely leave the baby and go with your DH. Time as a couple is very important, especially after all the stress of having a child. Use the time to be a couple, if not for you, then for your DH. The baby will hardly notice that you are gone, as they don't have the same sense of time that you and I have, and it will strengthen the bond between the baby and GM and GD. JMHO.....

 

[kimberh]

The beach is really not a place for you to relax with a 6 month old. It will be hard. I vote for the Grandparents. I left my youngest when he was younger than that... twice. I mananged to get through it. Believe it or not, it's harder to leave when they are teenagers... just to much for them to get into, or they are driving and you worry the whole time you are gone. I really thought I was going to be happy for the teenage years so I could leave them. Was I ever shocked! Take this time and enjoy it!
Now I am at the stage of life that I can leave... I still talk to them every day, when I am gone. We just returned from Europe, I talked to one of the three everyday. We bought a International phone so we could keep in touch. Tell your wife that the longing to be with the child will always be there, it is part of being a parent. Sometimes you just have to override it. Congratulations on your new arrival!

 

[RCharnay]

We have done this very thing with both our children. We would go on vacation every other year and the grandparents kept the kids until they were five. That gave us a few vacations at WDW or wherever as a couple and then it gave us some special time with our oldest while the youngest stayed with grandma and grandpa. Best decision we made and the grandparents still talk about what a treasure it was to spend that time with the little ones-and that was 20 years ago.

 

[gk90]

I would wait until you're actually parents to decide. As you see from all the responses there are so many parenting styles and so many different types of babies and needs. As you see some parents have had no problem leaving their babies with grandparents at 6 months. I know that I never would have done it myself with mine--I would have been just too uncomfortable. But you're going to be in a much better place to decide for yourself a few months from now.

Enjoy your new arrival! Parenting really does change your life--in a good way!

 

[Pennykay]

I have three children. For me, six months was a good time for ME to need a bit of a break. It's only a weekend, I say leave the baby and have a nice relaxing trip just the two of you. The baby won't remember anyway.

 

[MinnieGi]

I know at 6 months of age I could not have left my babies! I don't think you will really be able to decide until the baby is here.
If your wife will breastfeed it may be even harder to leave the baby as she will continually have to pump her milk while you are away. Even if she if not breastfeeding three days may be VERY long to a brand new mother as well as a new father.

I remember when our eldest did her first overnight with grandmom (his parents) at age 18 months it was DH who bounced out of bed at 7:00 am and wanted to straight go get her!!!!! Seperation anxiety can go both ways.

 

[kikiq]

We were lucky enough to have wonderful grandparents to take care of our DDs. I personally did not have any problem leaving my DDs when they were young, I needed it especially with my oldest. On the other hand, my DH couldn't stand being away from either one of them. There were several vacations that he stayed home with his mom and I went on cruises with my parents with his blessings. And forget going to WDW or DLR without the DDs, the FIRST Disney trip without our DDs was our 33rd anniversary! (And even then, my DH wanted to book a separate room for DDs!)

As PPs have said, you really need to see how your "new" family dynamics work out. As much as I encourage new parents to take time for themselves, there are too many "what ifs" before the baby comes. Congratulations and enjoy!

 

[BeccaG]

On that note our neighbor's went away for a mommy and daddy weekend. and actually took 2 seperate flights, So that solved the issue for them about the same plane.

I know its a bit I just have to ask. . .Does that mean your neighbors never drive alone in a car without their child since they are far more likely to die in a car accident than in a plane crash? I know the question sounds sarcastic, I am genuinely curious!!