Should we bother with Preschool?

[_queenie_]

I'm really stumped on whether or not to enroll my DD3 in preschool next fall. She's really advanced for her age, my DD13 almost acts like her personal teacher, she's already reading Dr. Seuss and can do Kindergarten level work. I don't think socialization is an issue, she does pretty well around other kids and adults. She has a few friends her age and I often arrange playdates. Both my two older kids went to preschool when they were 4, and I don't feel they got much out of it. My DS was really bored all the time, the first week there was some construction going on out side and he was more interested in that than the actual class. The teacher had to have a conference with me right away and told me that (the next week) he needed to come in more engaged. I also had problems with my DD, I personally think the teacher aide didn't like her. For graduation they picked who won the lead part in the play out of a hat, and she won only for me to hear the aide moan "Oh, not her!".

Does anyone have experience with not putting their child preschool? Does it effect Kindergarten performance?

Thanks!

 

[kjs1976]

From a teacher's perspective...it's very important.
I think a big part of preschool and kindergarten is the socialization. Kids need to be with their peers and learn how to act, play, behave, etc. around/with not only peers but other school aged children and adults of authority other than their parents. I wouldn't think of preschool as a place where they make all these advances in their academics, but rather have an experience that readies them for the next level of schooling in terms of a social environment. Given your past experience, you might want to check out other preschool programs to see if one better fits your needs. I know in our town we have several church programs as well as community-based ones. My friend took her son and daughter to a Tues and Thurs night one through our community ed program.

 

[DisneyPhD]

No experience not doing it. I used to teach preschool many years ago, but it was in a day care center so it was a bit different then the one my dd goes to (and her big sister did.)

It is just 2 days a week for 3 hours when she is 3 and 3 days a week when she is 4.

They learn more then just socialization, but compassion and friendship. For kids that spend a lot of time with older siblings it is a good way to make some friends in their age group (this has been very helpful to my youngest DD since mostly she plays with her baby sister and her friends.) Also by time they get to K school isn't this big thing they have never done before, but something they have built up to over the years.


Unless money was an issue or you didn't want them going to school (planned to homeschool) I don't see why not to do it. The benefits really out way any possible cons. Just look around and find one that is right for your needs. I do think some parents put too much on getting into the right preschool. I don't care about that. Maybe there is a good co-op near you that you wold be able to help out in and be there some of the time too.

I think your DD more then likely would be fine if she didn't go, but more then likely will benefit in many ways if she does.

 

[minkydog]

My 1st & 3rd children went to preschool; my 2nd child did not. Preschool did not make or break my older two, but it made a huge difference for #3. Since my kids are older now so I have a little different perspective.

I don't think kids necessarily needs preschool IF they are actively involved in group activities like sunday school or structured group play, and IF the parent is commited to taking the time to teach them the things they need to know. Call it homeschooling, if you wish. Preschoolers need a lot of attention. They need to cook, clean up, wait their turn, paint, sculpt, count things, put things in groups, sequence, sing, dance, make instruments, walk in the leaves, explore creekbeds AND learn their letters & numbers.

DS21 went to 3 yrs of preschool largely because I thought he had to. He was an only child at the time and I didn't have any confidence. DS21 had severe learning disabilities and ADHD--being in a classroom only exacerbated his behaviors. He didn't learn to read until age 8 and he is terrible at math. We homeschooled him for 12 years. He has grown up to be a writer & actor who composes music on the side and works full-time.

By the time DD14 came along, we were homeschooling 3rd grade. It seemed a natural extention for us to just homeschool preschool, too. She was so curious, though she did not even learn all of her letters until well into the 1st grade. She entered public school in 6th grade and is an A/B student. She dances, sings & acts and plans to work at WDW as a performer, eventually.

DS12 was severely developmentally delayed. Preschool was our lifeline. He needed the social network. He needed more attention and therapy than I could provide alone. Preschool was our "village" and I was grateful. He is still severely developmentally disabled, but preschool showed us that indeed, he could learn.

So I guess my answer is, it depends on how much you are willing to take on. Preschool can be wonderful for your child. Or you can do it yourself. In the long run I don't think anyone will be able to tell the difference.

 

[teresajoy]

I'm really stumped on whether or not to enroll my DD3 in preschool next fall. She's really advanced for her age, my DD13 almost acts like her personal teacher, she's already reading Dr. Seuss and can do Kindergarten level work. I don't think socialization is an issue, she does pretty well around other kids and adults. She has a few friends her age and I often arrange playdates. Both by two older kids went to preschool when they were 4, and I don't feel they got much out of it. My DS was really bored all the time, the first week there was some construction going on out side and he was more interested in that than the actual class. The teacher had to have a conference with me right away and told me that (the next week) he needed to come in more engaged. I also had problems with my DD, I personally think the teacher aide didn't like her. For graduation they picked who won the lead part in the play out of a hat, and she won only for me to hear the aide moan "Oh, not her!".

Does anyone have experience with not putting their child preschool? Does it effect Kindergarten performance?

Thanks!

I think preschool is overrated. I have three kids, and haven't put any of them in preschool. My oldest, is now in 10th grade, and is in honors classes and gets all As. My middle child is in 4th grade and scores high on all her reports (they don't have letter grades in her school). My youngest will start kindergarten in the fall, and I am confident that her lack of preschool will not negatively affect her performance in shcool.

I worked in a daycare for many years, and I can honestly say that our kids performed very well in school even without going to preschool. We did some crafts with the children, but basically, we let them play and be kids. I think that is the MOST important thing for a child, to just play! That is the way they should be learning at this age.

I'm weird I guess, I think a child's place is at home with their parents for as long as possible.

 

[bellebud]

I remember on another thread someone saying preschool was also good for learning how to listen in a group setting, waiting your turn, raising your hand before speaking, standing in line, etc, etc. Socialization stuff that doesn't necessarily happen at regular playdates. Nothing that's going to make or break her K experience, but might just make it a bit easier. It's a coin toss, but I'd probably send if you can find a program that is what it's supposed to be, which is fun.

 

[MiniGirl]

I used to say that I could teach my kids their ABCs and 123s, and I did do that. I could also teach them about sharing and other social rules -- no hitting, biting, etc. However, I could not help my girls put those social rules into practice, so I think preschool was a huge part in helping prepare them for "big kid" school.

My K teacher friends say that they can definitely tell which kids went to preschool and those kids are always a little bit ahead of the curve. Let me be clear here. They are a little ahead because they understand things like waiting in line and taking turns -- things like that. they have never said the preschool kids are smarter across the board. Many of the kids catch up and get into the rountine fairly quickly, but others have a difficult time adjusting to being at school for over 6 hours when they are used to being home with mom all day.

Personally, I loved having my kiddos in preschool. It made things like going to the doctor or the grocery store just so much easier. i really enjoyed the couple of hours a few times a week it gave me to do these things. Yes, they are only little once and they grow too fast, but having that down time made me a better mom.

 

[npmommie]

I'm weird I guess, I think a child's place is at home with their parents for as long as possible.

I also think this. and you are not weird, or maybe we both are.........LOL

 

[Aristomommy]

What DD got our of preschool was following routines, more structured environment than at home and functioning in a bigger group. While DD was a social butterfly (and still is...) she didn't have opportunities to be in a larger groups often. I wouldn't view preschool as "academic" especially for an advanced child, but a way the get used to the routine of school, a little bit of independence and easing the transition to kindergarten.

 

[wrighter]

I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I would also like to chime in on this one. There have been studies done in recent years about the importance of "social" preschool. Not only does it teach them to "play nice with others," wait their turn, follow directions, etc, but it also gives them a chance to do all these things without Mommy around.

Given your history with preschool, I definitely think you should look into others. Perhaps your children need something more along the lines of Montessori, or just a non-traditional structure. But if finances aren't the issue, I don't think it can hurt, and it might certainly help.

Good luck in your decision-making. Do what you think is best for your child and for you, and then just roll with it.

 

[KingdomHearts]

I think preschool is so important for children. I teach 3 year olds at a very well known school. I teach them not only there abc's and 1 2 3 's but also Spanish, sign language, getting along with others, and it does offer more structure. Not only does it give them a chance to interact with other students there age, but they do learn a lot of base things they need to know when they do go to kindergarten. I think for some parents, they put their child into Preschool to get them "use" to school, because they are home all day, and when they go to kindergarten it is an easier transition. These are the most important years of there lives when they are sponges, and love to learn!

 

[DisneyPhD]

I also think this. and you are not weird, or maybe we both are.........LOL

I like to spend as much time as possible with my kids too, but 2 days a week for a few hours when they are 3 isn't really that much time away. Even then breaks in school are always coming up, so the amount of time they spend away from you really isn't that much. It is a nice gradual leading up to more in more time in school.

When they are 3 for my girls it was 6 hours a week

When they were 4 it was 9 hours a week.

For K it was 15 hours a week. Now in 1st grade she is gone 30 hours a week! I am glad that transition was gradual, because it sure is a hard one to get used to (for both of us!)

 

[torinsmom]

I am a preschool/kindergarten teacher and I think it is definitely beneficial to put a child in some type of preschool setting by the time they are 4 if it is at all possible. It is very different interacting with a few kids at home or a few kids at a park vs. 20-25 kids in a kindergarten class. I was a stay at home mom watching another family's kids in addition to my DS until he was almost 5. He started preschool a few months before kindergarten(in the same class) It was such a big adjustment learning to use his social skills with different types of kids and adults, learning that there was a set time for snacks, meals and nap. Just the fact that there was a fire drill every month was alien to him and caused him a lot of anxiety. He was a very social, outgoing child, but going into any structured setting like that is a whole new world for a child.

I'm sorry you have had bad experiences with preschools. incidents like those you mentioned would result in administrative action at our school. Just know not all preschools and teachers are like that. We have kids that have been with us for 5 months now and are not really engaging. Every child is different and that needs to be respected.

If you're home, maybe you could find a 2-3 morning a week program for you DD. It is the time to start looking and signing contracts now. Our preschool is usually full for the next August by March. Take some tours and ask lots of . Good luck!

Marsha

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I used to say that I could teach my kids their ABCs and 123s, and I did do that. I could also teach them about sharing and other social rules -- no hitting, biting, etc. However, I could not help my girls put those social rules into practice, so I think preschool was a huge part in helping prepare them for "big kid" school.

My K teacher friends say that they can definitely tell which kids went to preschool and those kids are always a little bit ahead of the curve. Let me be clear here. They are a little ahead because they understand things like waiting in line and taking turns -- things like that. they have never said the preschool kids are smarter across the board. Many of the kids catch up and get into the routine fairly quickly, but others have a difficult time adjusting to being at school for over 6 hours when they are used to being home with mom all day.

I absolutely agree, and so do my K teacher friends. Preschool is less about academics than socialization. It's about waiting your turn and realizing the world does not revolve around you. It's about raising your hand and asking to go to the bathroom. If you live in a place that still has two hour kindergarten, preschool might be optional. If your district has full day kindergarten, I expect your child will be better prepared if she has experienced a few hours of structure with other children. Both of my kids read, wrote, counted to over 100, and added and subtracted before kindergarten. That is not what makes them better prepared, and they learned more of that at home than at preschool. It is knowing to respect their teachers, listen and follow directions, and have empathy for other children. DD5 starts kindergarten in the fall, and she is ready and excited to go. She is in preschool four mornings a week and wonders why she can't go the fifth day. She loves it! She has learned that she can count on other adults, she has increased her pool of friends, she has learned to deal with different personalities, and she has learned to expect a routine and to operate within the structure of school. I do miss her when she is gone, but I miss DD8 when she is at school too. I consider preschool a necessary part of her development - it has helped my very shy child speak up in front of her class, when previously she would only talk to her family ("I want you to tell them, Mom."). If you find the right preschool where your DD is loved and nurtured, it can do wonders.

 

[Princessbaby]

I remember on another thread someone saying preschool was also good for learning how to listen in a group setting, waiting your turn, raising your hand before speaking, standing in line, etc, etc. .

This is exactly what I was going to post. I think preschool gives children a chance to learn these types of things in an environment where the parents aren't around. It is a chance for them to learn that there are authority figures other than mom and dad. I can teach my daughter how to write and say her numbers and alphabet, but it is nice for her to experience these things in a different setting other than at home. My daughter's 2 older brothers went to this school and so she was sooo ready to go to school- so I think it was easy for me to send her (not to mention we have been at this preschool every year for the last 6 years-so we know all the teachers!!!)
You just need to do what you think is best for your child. Good luck!!

 

[brymolmom]

Because your DD sounds so advanced it might be beneficial from the perspective of letting her spend more time around her peers. I mean, you said socialization isn't an issue, but does she spend a bunch of time with kids her exact age (or at least exact grade level)? If, for example, she is used to being around older kids - she might find it very surprising that not all kids her age are reading.....and reacting to that in a non-condescending way is very important if you don't want all the other kids disliking her in Kindergarten.

My nephew is in the same boat - very advanced - doing multiplication and carrying, etc. as a very young 4 year old. My sister makes sure to show him that not all kids can do this. He used to respond to every question with a 'that's an EASY one' and he had to learn not to do this because it is NOT easy for everyone. He's already going to be termed a geek - there will be no avoiding that at some point, but hopefully he's learning through his parents and his involvement with peers at preschool, to be tactful about his advanced knowledge so he isn't labeled as a jerk too.

Just another perspective to consider for you.

 

[Elmo888]

I'm weird I guess, I think a child's place is at home with their parents for as long as possible.

I agree. There are plenty of people where I live that put toddlers in "preschool" at ages 1 or 2. I think that some kids need some outside stimulation at 3 and some at 4, but I definitely decided to put both DDs in at 4 (the year before they start K). (My second DD is 3, and, as I type this, I wonder if I need to reconsider preschool for her. She doesn't seem to need it like my older DD.)

I think that it depends on where you live. Where I live, when a friend explained to me that everyone in our town puts their child in something before kindergarten and was I consciously starting my child in K with a disadvantage? She didn't tell me that I was, but explaining how she came to the conclusion that she needed to put her kids in preschool. Of course it doesn't affect how they perform in high school or even earlier. But it might affect how a child adjusts to K (esp. if it is all day, like ours). And I felt like, when my older DD turned 3, she just seemed to need the outside stimulation. She was 3 1/2 when she started.

Does your child need preschool at 3? Probably not. Will it help her in K if she goes when she is 4 (the year before K)? It probably will.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

My DD4.5 is not in preschool. I also have older kids in the house, DD15 and DS13. She can do some reading, write, do math into double digits (DS13 is trying to teach her multiplication now and doing pretty well).

In July, we were stumped on preschool. She had a lot of the academic things down and does get along well with other kids. She is respectful of rules in other people's homes, she spent quite a few days at my sister's friend's house playing with her daughters, and when she was told to sit at the table for lunch, she sat. When it was time to get out of the pool, she got out. Little things like that.

But I really felt she should have some experience in a setting where she was expected to be quiet while a teacher talked, follow standard rules, interact with a large group her age, and other things that they just don't get at home or even at someone else's house.

So, we enrolled her in dance and gymnastics for the year. She is learning to share the teacher with other students, they have to sit and wait for class to begin, use cubbies for their things, she must do some practice at home, take turns, raise her hand, etc. While it is not as formal as preschool may be, I figured it would give her some of the skills to make the transition easier for her (and her teacher) to kindergarten.

 

[Mcbruns]

Absolutely !

It's the learning and the socialization. I have volunteered in my kids Kindergarten and first grade class rooms and can pick out those children who have never been to pre-school or daycare. The teachers have to spend more time with them because these kids don't understand how to sit still and listen and this takes away from the other children.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Preschool director here. I think that if you plan to send your children to kindergarten in a trational setting, giving them a year of preschool is very important. Our school has a 2, 3, & 4 year old program. I will tell parents that the first two years are fun extras but that year before they go to school is so needed. Children need to learn how to learn in a group setting. They have to learn to interact with a large group and to work without mom or dad standing over them .They learn how to manipulate snack or meal time with out a parent there, and learn to be away from mom and dad for a short time period. Many preschool will work with you if you only want 3 days a week. We have a wonderful women in our church that has a loving home day care. The children all know their letters,numbers etc when they go to school but almost all of these children had a hard time adjusting to kindergarten where they had to function on their own.

I agree that by 3rd grade you will not be able to tell which child went to preschool, that will not help make what might be a tough kindergarten year better.

I only sent my DS for one year and three days a week/ four hours a day but it was a god-send for him.