Should teachers Shmooze?

[clarabelle]

I have two DD's one in public school and one getting ready to start her first year of middle school.

We have always been pretty happy with the public elementary school-but I have noticed that many of the teachers are not good at making a good first impression. For example one teacher that taught both daughters in first grade a GREAT teacher. Is not so hot at open house and the first day of school. She is not good at making eye contact and shaking hands etc... She is a bit quiet and cool and unfortunately her aide has a similar demeanor. The kids both really enjoyed her -but the first impression was kind of luke warm.

Now we are starting the private school for my eldest and the teachers seem to be better at it. I imagine they have been told to do it. Or hired for some of those qualities.

So my question is. Do you think teachers should work on this and is it important? Or does it have little to do with their job?

 

[Beth76]

I think it's more important for the teacher to relate to the kids than with the parents. As long as my kids' teachers are teaching fairly and accurately and my kids like them and are learning, I'm happy.

ETA: just because a teacher knows how to "work" the room of parents and makes them all feel good, doesn't mean they're going to be as successful with the kids.

 

[teacherforhi]

I'm going to be honest. I don't get paid by how well people like me. I'm not good at small talk and I'd really rather not have to do it. Open House, in my opinion, are one of those necessary evils that I must endure when there are probably a hundred other things I would rather be doing. I do much better with parents when discussing something specific (ie., IEPs, progress reports) and I make a point of writing in each child's agenda every day so that the parents are getting feedback on their child's day.

Now if I taught at a private school where parents could pull their children out if they didn't like the teacher, it would probably be more of an issue and I could see the administration playing it up more.

 

[Disney Ella]

I would imagine that making a presentation at open house could be a bit intimidating, particularly if you're a young teacher. As long as my kids like the teachers and learn from them, I don't care how they are around adults.

 

[SherryNC]

It will make their job easier. I always liked giving my parents a good first impression. It can set the tone for future interaction. I don't think it's that difficult to be approachable. Just start with a nice smile.

 

[TrueGravity]

It will make their job easier. I always liked giving my parents a good first impression. It can set the tone for future interaction. I don't think it's that difficult to be approachable. Just start with a nice smile.

Tell them a few Redneck jokes to Git the year started off on the right foot.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Beth, I totally agree!

I teach fifth grade and I dread Back to School Nite. In our district, you are required to give a presentation for about sixteen minutes. This is because I teach Reading and Language Arts, so the time is doubled being that our periods in class are doubled. I must do this three times because I teach three out of the four sections of the course.

It is a very nerve-wracking experience. I find I have a better time talking in front of a group of kids than parents. These feelings existed when I had to present something to the Board of Education as well and my principal even noticed a major difference.

However, I personally believe teachers should be cheerful, make eye-contact, and shake hands whenever they see parents. It is professional and required by the unspoken teacher code.

 

[SherryNC]

Tell them a few Redneck jokes to Git the year started off on the right foot.

Seriously though, as a small rural school in Missouri, that would have been a huge hit.

 

[Steffi]

I think it's more important for the teachers to relate to the students.

My daughter's second grade teacher was a queen schmoozer; she was all smiles and full of conversation with the parents. As the year wore on, though, I realized that she did not know how to relate to the children at all! She was the worst teacher that my daughter had in elementary school and probably should have been teaching college.

One of the best teachers that my daughter had seemed a little shy or cool with the parents, but she was outstanding at relating to the children on their level. That was the year that my daughter was most excited about school and learned the most.

 

[clarabelle]

I think it's more important for the teacher to relate to the kids than with the parents. As long as my kids' teachers are teaching fairly and accurately and my kids like them and are learning, I'm happy.

ETA: just because a teacher knows how to "work" the room of parents and makes them all feel good, doesn't mean they're going to be as successful with the kids.

Good point

I do think sometimes that it would help later. You know how parents are. I have heard a few teachers get ripped to shreds on the playground by parents and I wonder if a little bit of effort towards the parents on the part of the teacher would help. It does seem a bit unfair though.

 

[luvmydogs]

I think it's more important for the teacher to relate to the kids than with the parents. As long as my kids' teachers are teaching fairly and accurately and my kids like them and are learning, I'm happy.

ETA: just because a teacher knows how to "work" the room of parents and makes them all feel good, doesn't mean they're going to be as successful with the kids.

I agree with Beth 100%, and had this experience for the first time with ds's 3rd grade teacher this past school year. She was very shy and quiet as a mouse with us, but was an absolutely wonderful educator, and really related to her students in a positive way. I won't judge on first impressions again!

 

[RitaZ.]

It matters to me that the teacher and my child are a good fit, I'm not the one having to interact with them on a daily basis.

Some teachers are mean and nasty to the kids, yet put on a great facade for the parents, I know a couple that are experts at it. One of them in particular likes to berate and humiliate the students in front of the class, yet she is funny and personable when talking to parents.

My oldest DS's 2nd grade teacher didn't make the best first impression on me, no eye contact, weak handshake, barely talked to me, but she loved my son. We ended up building our relationship to the point that I would call her at home and she would do the same with me. I loved her, she is a wonderful and unique teacher. Same DS and his 5th grade teacher, very nice, but she was very very nervous. I remember when we went to Open House, she was shaking and did her presentation with an overhead projector with the lights off. I felt embarrassed for her. She was great with my son, yet she could barely talk to parents face to face.

So, first impressions don't tell us everything and time may prove that they were incorrect.

 

[Beth76]

I do think sometimes that it would help later. You know how parents are. I have heard a few teachers get ripped to shreds on the playground by parents and I wonder if a little bit of effort towards the parents on the part of the teacher would help. It does seem a bit unfair though.

Well then hopefully a situation like that will help the teacher learn to be more personable. And it's unfortunate that a parent would be like that in the first place. But, let's face it, it's hard to be able to deal with *everybody*--parents, kids, administration. If some teachers can pull it off--fantastic. If not, I'll take the ones who deal best with the kids.

 

[ckay87]

I want a good teacher for my kids, not a good politician. I always think about how teachers must dread those "meet the teacher" nights.

I also very much believe that probably the hardest part of being a teacher would be dealing with the parents. Teachers, be honest, am I right?

 

[SherryNC]

I want a good teacher for my kids, not a good politician. I always think about how teachers must dread those "meet the teacher" nights.

I also very much believe that probably the hardest part of being a teacher would be dealing with the parents. Teachers, be honest, am I right?

Don't have to be a politician to genuinely like people and find it easy to get along with them. It was just always super important for my parents to know that I expected us to work together as a team. For me personally, I would say that out of touch administrators were my biggest gripe.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I think it's more important for the teacher to relate to the kids than with the parents. As long as my kids' teachers are teaching fairly and accurately and my kids like them and are learning, I'm happy.

ETA: just because a teacher knows how to "work" the room of parents and makes them all feel good, doesn't mean they're going to be as successful with the kids.

I have to tell you some of the WORST teachers I work with are those who know to "work a room". It is kind of like education slight of hand. Don't look at my teaching b/c I am such a nice guy. My own child had a teacher that everyone loved and when my son had him I saw how useless he was. He spent the time trying to impress the parents and the school committee NOT teaching.

I am a middle of the road person. I tell it like it is to parents (some of them hate that) but I also tell them that I am parent and have been in the same boat. I have a good rapore with my parents once they realize I am NOT going to cut their kids slack just b/c they are sped. My motto is " I know some things are hard for you BUT you better do your best on the things you
can do.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I want a good teacher for my kids, not a good politician. I always think about how teachers must dread those "meet the teacher" nights.

I also very much believe that probably the hardest part of being a teacher would be dealing with the parents. Teachers, be honest, am I right?

I am going to be the one to own up to this...

The answer to your question, for me anyway, is absolutely! Because I work in a VERY affluent, rich community, the parents can be somewhat draining. Without getting too specific, I have had the following comments thrown at me and a close friend who is the vice principal of the school:

1. I can see why you are MISS _________ and not MRS now!
2. I make a three figure salary and do not need to be told what professionals do.
3. Sure, my child has a busy schedule and not enough time for homework, but can I say "no" to his wanting to play another instrument? Of course, I can't. That would not be right. You need to assign less homework.
4. You have grey hair and are old and unprofessional. How can YOU relate to MY child?

This is one of my personal favs...a friend had this experience in another school...

5. My daughter has an IEP that clearly states she cannot carry a textbook to your class.

It was later discovered that this same child was head cheerleader and frequently holds other cheerleaders up in the air.

 

[kasar]

Education first, absolutely! However, I have to admit that I appreciate teachers who make the parents feel comfortable and offer a warm welcome and truly want to get to know you and your family. I've never experienced anything but professionalism and warmth from any of my kids' teachers, thankfully.

 

[lissawynn]

Some teachers have a problem communicating w/adults and that could be one reason they choose to teach children. Younger kids, especially, aren't as judgemental as their parents might be about this kind of stuff. If the teacher is a good teacher who relates well to the students, the other stuff isn't that important, IMO.
Btw, I am a teacher, and I dread open house every year. I've been teaching for seven years and it still feels like "teacher on trial". I don't have any problem comminicating with people, I just don't like that situation.

 

[Miller1412]

Imagine being put into a room of about 25 adults that you are just meeting for the first time and knowing that 1/2 of them are viewing you with some skepticism (probably more like 95% if you're a new teacher) and trying to deliver a presentation that sums up your year long program in 1/2 hour. You'd probably be a little nervous too. Teachers have a lot to measure up to, and believe me, parents can make your experience wonderful or a living hell. I've been lucky to have a lot of great support, but every teacher comes across parents that are nightmares from time to time.

Saying that...I probably tend to be a little too social with parents, but I love to talk. I teach in a neighborhood school and have built a good reputation with parents. But it took a couple of years to be requested and to get respect on the whole!
By the way...the kids are the easy part! And the joy!!