Should I say something or not? (long vent)

[andromedaslove]

I wish that teachers could just understand how fragile kids are, at any age. I think most of us remember cruel comments made to us by teachers. A friend and I were comparing notes once, and found the same teacher made weight/eating comments to both of us at different times in 10th grade. 20 years later we are still steaming about it. And now that teacher is a guidance counselor!

ITA!! I think that too many people have horrible memories of teachers that they have had to deal with at school. Teachers play an important role in our children's lives. Not just by educating them, but teachers are role models. They are the people (other than us) that our children look up to, and look to for acceptance and understanding. When teachers say mean things, they can sting so badly that you never really get over them.

 

[CheshireVal]

I would say something to the teacher. I wouldn't approach her in an accusing way, but maybe tell her "My daughter said this happened, just wanted to talk about it," and see if the teacher has another side of the story. Sounds to me like she might have been unnecessarily rude, though!

I work at a summer day camp for kids 8-11. One of the classes I teach is sewing. We use yarn and sew bookmarks and coasters on plastic canvas. I show the kids the "right" way to do it, so that all of the plastic is covered. Some of them are intentionally and stubbornly sloppy (for them it's quantity of bookmarks rather than quality) and refuse to sew it completely, and I always have to tell them that we can't glue the special backing (felt, magnetic sheets, foam) on those bookmarks because 1) we'd end up running out of felt because they're making their stuff at three times the speed of everyone else in the class, and 2) the glue would ooze through the front and be yucky. HOWEVER, I do it nicely. On grumpy days, it *is* tempting to say that what they've done isn't worth the felt, but I would never ever think of saying that to a kid!

The art teacher who runs the clayworks class at camp always puts everything in the kiln, btw, even if it's "bad."

 

[ilovepcot]

Art class....the absolute worst for me! The teachers gave me grief, the other students made fun of my work. I actually got physically ill in 8th grade when a final project was required which would count a large percentage toward my final grade. Teacher *smugly* told me that I'd fail and be held back if I didn't find some type of art project to do that she found "acceptable". Well, what was I going to do? Miraculously sculpt her likeness overnight, suddenly learn to paint without any talent or actual lessons? Draw something recognizable? (Hey, friends won't even play pictionary with me.) I suffered that year and no longer recall what my final project was, BUT....none of the other students from that class are making their livinngs through their art. None (from all I hear) are even remembered for their art...not even the teacher.

Some of my "art" now hangs in the homes of these people who gave me grief so long ago and they PAY ME BIG FOR IT!!!!!!! Small sampling below.

 

[luvflorida]

Art class....the absolute worst for me! The teachers gave me grief, the other students made fun of my work. I actually got physically ill in 8th grade when a final project was required which would count a large percentage toward my final grade. Teacher *smugly* told me that I'd fail and be held back if I didn't find some type of art project to do that she found "acceptable". Well, what was I going to do? Miraculously sculpt her likeness overnight, suddenly learn to paint without any talent or actual lessons? Draw something recognizable? (Hey, friends won't even play pictionary with me.) I suffered that year and no longer recall what my final project was, BUT....none of the other students from that class are making their livinngs through their art. None (from all I hear) are even remembered for their art...not even the teacher.

Some of my "art" now hangs in the homes of these people who gave me grief so long ago and they PAY ME BIG FOR IT!!!!!!! Small sampling below.

I just want to say that I love your post!! Good for you for your success and achievements!! I've seen some of your art work on other threads, (remember the posting photos on Disboards thread where I STILL couldn't learn how to do it right!?!), and your work is absolutely gorgeous!!

 

[ilovepcot]

Hey! Great to "see" you again. And yes, I remember the day so many of us were tyring to learn to post pics. I was so embarrassed that I was having such a horrible time catching on. Took *many* tries before I got the hang of it.

What kind things for you to say about my work. Thank you! I struggle with it at times and am "self taught" so that's made it even more difficult but it's very rewarding.

 

[Disney Doll]

maybe it's just me.... but I find it a tad bit disturbing that everyone is making excuses for the teachers. Either the teachers were having a bad day, they are human after all, or that teachers can be jreks just like everyone else. None of that excuses the fact that the teacher made the child feel badly about herself and/or her work. There are people out there that are jerks, and some teachers can be jerks too, but that doesn't mean it has to be accepted and just dealt with. I know that everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets stressed, even myself. However, if I have said something hurtful to one of my kids I apologize and let them know that it wasn't their fault and that I shouldn't have said what I did. How come the teachers aren't held to the same standards? Their job is to educate my children, not to put them down.

I don't believe I said that anyone should have a "free pass" for inappropriate behavior. I recommended first finding out the teacher's side of the story, as it could be very different from the child's. My neighbor is a teacher and at the beginning of the school year she sends out a welcome note, which includes the statement "I won't believe everything your kid tells me about you if you don't believe everything your kid tells you about me".

I do believe that teachers are human, and can have a bad day. I also believe that most teachers do not set out each morning to rag on their students. They're not in it for the money, so most of them generally have to like kids. I would also like to think that a decent teacher, who realized after the fact that she had hurt a student's feelings, would apologize.

I went through grammar and high school. Had good and bad teachers. Had a couple that I really "wrangled" with, which taught me some important lessons too.

 

[LoveMyDVC2]

Okay, Let me start by saying I am an Art Teacher for grades 6-12. I have read all the posts and I have to say that some of your negative comments about art classes and art teachers (Specials) who take their job too seriously only confirm my thoughts on why some (not all) students share the thought that art doesnt matter. After all it isn't Math, Science, English, etc.

I can't count how many times students have told me "my parents don't care if I do well in art class" ( yes, they really do say this) It is very sad that parents are telling their children this. I had to call a parent just yesterday and got a very smug comment of " Well, it is just Art, I guess if he is going to get an F, I'll just have him drop the class"

I am not saying that teachers should put down students. That is just not okay in any situation. I know not all students are not going to enjoy art class. I do however, expect all students to try their hardest, make the most of their time in class, clean up after themselves and respect the classroom, materials, each others art work, etc. I do not tolerate ANYONE who is rude or can't respect me, each other, or the subject. ( I am not saying the OP's DD did this) Just sharing some thoughts of an Art Teacher.

I also think it is important for all teachers to take the subject they teach seriously. Even if it IS only Art. Why would one expect a student to take it seriously if the teacher doesn't? Do you think that The Great Walt Disney shared the "it is only art" attitude?

I am sorry that the OP's daughter had her feelings hurt. I know that I would never say anything like what was said to her DD. I think it would be a good idea to speak with the teacher. Perhaps you would feel better after hearing her take on the matter. Maybe it is just a misunderstanding. She probably doesn't even know your DD feelings were hurt.

FAME ON