should i cancel our trip???

[beebles]

I don't know if any of you remember when i posted over a month ago about going on our trip due to medical reasons, but I need some advice. I have tried to take my 2 children several times but could not do it due to the fact my mother was ill with lung cancer. Our last trip was supposed to be in May and she died in april, we obviously did not go. Now, I planned a MUCH needed vacation of 11/30-Dec 6th. My mother in law was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer in september and has been going through chemo and radiation. Well she has gotten worst very quick and today was put on a ventilator. We have had a terrible year and were looking forward to going. What do I do now!!! Even if she gets out of the hospital, how can we go? It is 3 weeks away and i have my room, airfare, xmas party tickets and disney hopper passes. It has been an extremely difficult time for our family and I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful...

 

[mama22]

I'm so sorry for your situation. While you probably just want to go and get away from it all, you should probably just focus on staying close to family for now. IMO, it sounds like your poor MIL may not be around too much longer and disney will always be there. If it were me, I'd be worried the whole time that something may happen while away, and that does not sound like a very enjoyable trip.
to you and your family

 

[anewvance]

I think disney is pretty good about best layed plans. If you chose to go ahead and come due to everything already in hand (these things are hard to cancel, get money back)... but if you came and something "could" happen, Disney is good about giving refunds, getting you home as soon as you can. I would wait one more week before making any final plans... jmo.

 

[MrsTink04]

As a (young) person who has lost both parents to cancer (Non-smokers, non-drinkers, thank you very much) I know what it's like to be in a position of losing a loved one. My opinion, for what it's worth - take your children to WDW. They are only young once and I bet all of this sickness is harder on them than you think. As long as your MIL has a good caregiver - let her know that you love her but you need to do something for your children. I'm sure she will understand that your kids need some child-time. However, if it looks like she won't make it though the duration of the trip, I would hold out. Then, make the trip as quickly as possible after her funeral. Trust me, your fanily will really need it then.


With that said, do you have travel insurance? I'm sure you could get your money back if she REALLY looks like she might pass while you are at WDW and you decide almost at the last minute not to go. I would make the ultimate decision of whether to go or not at the last possible second.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

My Dad took my little sister and I to WDW about 3 months after my mother died...Mickey Mouse can certainly lighten your heart!

 

[MainStreetFan]

My, now deceased mother in law was diagnosed with Throat cancer about 10 days before the first trip to WDW we had ever planned with our kids. She had to have surgery to have her voice box removed two days before we left. She insisted that we go. She knew that this was something special we had planned. I bought a Tinkerbell figurine for her while there. Since she could no longer talk, I told her that Tink was her inspiration. She kept it near her chair in the living room for the next 7 years. She is still my mentor, My kids were more important to her than anything else in the world and she wanted them to have their magic. Talk to your family and make the decision you can live with. Maybe you could go for just 3-4 days now. Prayers are with you and yours.

 

[rcraw45425]

We were scheduled to arrive at the CR on Tuesday, October 4th and attend the Halloween party on the 6th. My father was admitted to the hospital on Saturday night, the 1st. He had a minor procedure done the morning of the 2nd, our trip was still a go. He was released on Monday the 3rd, but died of a heart attack before he left his hospital bed. I contacted Sue Ellen at DU, she immediately went to work. Within 1 hour she had all of our arrangements cancelled, with a promise of refunds on reservation and Halloween Party tickets. Disney came through on their promise and everything was credited back into my account within two weeks. We leave Friday for our rebooked trip to the Contemporary. If it looks as though the situation is dire, I'd call CR ASAP and let them know. Even the most unbendable policies sometimes bend in times of emergency. My thoughts are with you.

 

[bytheblood]

I am sorry for your situation. I am not really sure on how to advise you. I pray that it all works out and your family gets your much needed vacation.

 

[eblack0409]

I agree with MrsTink04.....I am sure your MIL wants what is best for her grandkids.....as hard as this is for your family, no matter how young your kids are, in their way, they know what's going on and it won't hurt to give them a break from it, but if you see that your MIL is probably not going to make it, then you should ultimately be there. I truely believe that people either have a will to live or not, and even though I don't know your MIL personally, I believe that she would want to be surrounded by family during her final moments. With that said, should you go, if your MIL has a strong will to live, she will.

You and your family will be in my prayers

 

[LukenDC]

If I were you, I would go. You and the kids desperately need a break. When I was at WDW in September, I met a woman and her daughter and granddaughter. They were from New Orleans and had lost everything. The woman did not even know if her husband was alive until the day before I met her. Even with all of their grief, they still went to WDW. It helped to heal their spirits and give some joy to the little girl.

 

[tjmouse]

I think you should go. They have already lost one grandma this year. If you cancel your trip, they will just keep thinking about maybe losing another one. I know it's hard. I can't imagine having to make the decision, but I know what my grandma would have said "Go live your life, I've already lived mine." (She told me that the day I left for college and she had just had surgery to remove part of her lung due to cancer.) You and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[beebles]

thank you for all your advice. we do have travel insurance. it has a limited amount of coverage. i am assuming the airfare we can use at a later date? Also, the park hoppers are good until you use them first? I have one night deposit at the poly, I am sure I could get that back. So, it is probably just the christmas party tickets. Actually, it is not the money that is the concern but the CHOICE of whether or not to go. I feel like we are destined never to go to disney. My mom told me before she died to go back in May when we were planning it, then felt sad and told me to go in november thinking that she would not be here anymore and that was a good time of year to go according to her. So, I am taking her advice. I know it is too soon to decide but I already started packing (i am a planner). Even if she is out of the hospital, how can we really relax???

 

[JerseyJ]

As a nurse and case manager, who has worked in ICU & seen many families struggle with difficult decisions similar to yours regarding planned vacations or when to have family fly home, here's a few suggestions to help you.

You may ask for a family meeting with the team of doctors caring for her and ask for a full, honest explanation of her medical status and what they realistically project may be the outcome from this hospitalization that is requiring her to be on the ventilator.

Each patient is different but doctors can at least give you their experience in similar cases. They won't be able to give any definite answers but will be able to quide you. Questions to ask - Is this an infection, that can be cured, causing the detioration in her status? Is the cancer causing her decline? Has complications of her radiation & chemotherapy caused her to need the vent? What are her chances of coming off the vent. Is her current medical problem reversable? Also ask what they believe is her prognosis? (similar to a prediction)

After meeting with the doctors, you will have more knowledge to help you make your decision. There is no right or wrong answer in this situation. You can only make the best decision for the time and remember that each day changes as a pt goes thru what I always called the ICU roller coaster. (up one minute/day then down the next) Good luck. You'll be in my thoughts & prayers. Feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.

 

[james15]

I can tell you disney is awsome in circumstances like yours.Last year a week before we where to leave they found a tumour and needless to say my trip was put off to dec..Spend time with your family disney will always be there and god bless you and your family.

 

[JenniferW]

Search your heart and decide what it best.

Jenn

 

[jennymouse]

I know where you're coming from. I lost my mother to lung cancer a couple years ago too. We had a trip to WDW planned while she was sick and didn't know if we'd be able to go or not. She died in May and we did go on our trip in June and I'm so glad we did. If it were me, I'd play it by ear and go if there's any way possible. Good luck to you, sweetie.

 

[laurabelle]

Your family has been through so much in such a short time...I don't have an answer for you, but I wanted to express my sympathy...
I just know at some point you and your kids will experience that Disney magic! Don't give up!

 

[dwkwootton]

Wow, I am so sorry for this very difficult year that you and your family have been through. We'll all look forward with you to brighter times. Your decision does not sound like an easy one. The advice from the nurse/case manager sounded very wise indeed. Another thought to add is that I think it would be good to draw out the feelings/opinions of your spouse on this decision. It sounds like he/she is being very withdrawn just now since there's no mention of his or her thoughts on the matter.

 

[VSL]

I don't have any answers or advice, just a

 

[KYCruiseCrazy]

I don't know if any of you remember when i posted over a month ago about going on our trip due to medical reasons, but I need some advice. I have tried to take my 2 children several times but could not do it due to the fact my mother was ill with lung cancer. Our last trip was supposed to be in May and she died in april, we obviously did not go. Now, I planned a MUCH needed vacation of 11/30-Dec 6th. My mother in law was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer in september and has been going through chemo and radiation. Well she has gotten worst very quick and today was put on a ventilator. We have had a terrible year and were looking forward to going. What do I do now!!! Even if she gets out of the hospital, how can we go? It is 3 weeks away and i have my room, airfare, xmas party tickets and disney hopper passes. It has been an extremely difficult time for our family and I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful...

go. i think your mother would want you to go. you need a way to relax and get it all off your mind and disney is the place to do just that. the holidays are famous for people getting the blues. so if i was a DR i would give your a prescription fo relax with your kids(and your inner child) and have fun. this is what i would do. i hope it helps

 

[WeLoveThePoly]

My prayers go out to your family. What a sad year for you.

Back in 2000 my in-laws had a trip planned in September for all of us for our DD's first WDW trip. Over the summer my DH's grandmother (DMIL's mother) was not doing well. My DMIL agonized over what to do. Do we cancel our trip? Do we wait and see what happens? She ended up calling Disney to let them know of the situation and they told her if we had to cancel last minute or cut our trip short she would not be penalized. Maybe call Disney now and have them make a note in your file.

My DH's grandmother passed away in July 2000 so our September trip was not affected but it was nice to know Disney would be understanding if it had been.

So, play things by ear and hang in there! Blessings to you.

Debbie