Sharing hotel rooms with coworkers?

[tvguy]

I'm curious how many people have turned down an assignment or quit their job because they found out they'd have to share a room. I'm not talking about chaperoning a school trip. I'm talking about your boss telling you "we want/need you to go on this trip" and you saying "I'm not going if I have to share a room."

In my industry, travel is a plum assignment. People do turn trips down, but no big deal with the boss because there are usually several others willing go take their place.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I assume there are exceptions for Firefighters and Medical Residents. Normal firefighting shift here is 48 hours, and if you work at busy fire station, that is 48 straight hours with no sleep. And just like medical residents, firefighters are expected to make life and death decisions on no sleep.

I am not aware of any exceptions--but I think being "on shift" at a fire house would likely fall under the same category a business dinner--if not actually doing specific work for the department or out on a call, just being present in the fire house would probably not be counted (nor is being on an airplane or train, or in a hotel room on a business trip). But you could not, for example, be asked to drive 3 hours to a forest fire, fight it for 8 hours and then drive back home 3 hours in the same day.
I have a friend here who used to be a fire fighter---I will double check with him and if I am wrong, I'll come back and correct this.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

LOL! DH attending UM Dearborn for a masters. Don't know anyone who's attended or considered attending there looking for a dorm. Wayne rooms aren't all that way at all, at least they weren't six years ago in quite new dorms and a reconfiguration would be major reno. Interesting that all schools you've listed aren't normally live-on destinations, maybe that's why they're making the offering. As you said, Grand Valley offers for honors only, likely because those students have many schools looking to attract them.

Plenty of schools have suite-style living, DD lived in it a couple years. I'm talking about private bed and bathrooms, shared living and kitchenettes specifically, as that's what was written as the new normal of dorms, which I still say is not very common -- UofM, MSU, ND, Loyola, SMU, Flagler, UC Berkley, Flagler, Stanford, MIT, UCLA. Brown, OSU are among the schools I'm referring to. I'm not disputing private bedrooms don't make sense, merely that plush dorm life is readily available and the norm.

Dearborn's dorms are literally in the parking lot at Fairlane. They have only gone up in the past three years or so and they're so popular that they are considering building another. Like you said, they're doing it to attract non-commuter students. If DD would have wanted to go there I would have let her live there instead of commuting. In fact, if she wanted to go to the University ten miles away, I would have let her live on campus. The girl needs to get out of my house.

Wayne State's aren't all like that, but the building we saw was. The dorms at MSU and Tech made me (figuratively) break out in hives and at Ann Arbor they wouldn't even show us the dorms. The selective schools have more leeway in what kind of housing they can offer and have people still want to go there. When I went to school many moons ago, my room was a suite with two large doubles and a shared bathroom in the middle and that was considered fancy at the time.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

LOL! DH attending UM Dearborn for a masters. Don't know anyone who's attended or considered attending there looking for a dorm. Wayne rooms aren't all that way at all, at least they weren't six years ago in quite new dorms and a reconfiguration would be major reno. Interesting that all schools you've listed aren't normally live-on destinations, maybe that's why they're making the offering. As you said, Grand Valley offers for honors only, likely because those students have many schools looking to attract them.

Plenty of schools have suite-style living, DD lived in it a couple years. I'm talking about private bed and bathrooms, shared living and kitchenettes specifically, as that's what was written as the new normal of dorms, which I still say is not very common -- UofM, MSU, ND, Loyola, SMU, Flagler, UC Berkley, Flagler, Stanford, MIT, UCLA. Brown, OSU are among the schools I'm referring to. I'm not disputing private bedrooms don't make sense, merely that plush dorm life is readily available and the norm.

Didn't say it was the norm, said it was the trend. As in, you'll be seeing much more of this going forward. And of course there are variations - like 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms or 4 bedrooms but just 2 bathrooms, etc. But, none of our customers are building traditional dorms right now.

 

[nkereina]

Eh, I'm not poop-shy. Most people I know and work with would be comfortable knowing what's going on 10 feet away from them behind a closed door.

I'd venture to say you and the people you know are in the minority. I would not be ok with someone I only know in a professional manner being around my most private times, and I would not expect my employer require this either.

 

[design_mom]

I'm curious how many people have turned down an assignment or quit their job because they found out they'd have to share a room. I'm not talking about chaperoning a school trip. I'm talking about your boss telling you "we want/need you to go on this trip" and you saying "I'm not going if I have to share a room."

I doubt there are very many who would quit outright without having something else lined up. But if travel was a large part of my job, the travel policy would be integral to my job satisfaction. If I was unhappy with such an important facet of my job, it would definitely motivate me to find something else.

As I mentioned upthread, I traveled for work and shared a room when I was younger. I did not have a lot of experience and did not realize that was not the norm. Since then, when I've had to travel, I've always had my own room and I much prefer that. Travel is not a large portion of my job and I'd probably grin and bear it (but wouldn't like it) if I had to share for a few days. On a frequent or long-term basis, I don't think I could tolerate it though. I'd definitely be looking for a different job.

 

[cijay]

I have coworkers that during the normal in office work day will consider you extremely rude if you cut them off from telling you this long tale that may not be work related in any sense or if it is only applies to something they do and not the person they are talking to. However if you tell them you are too busy to talk to them because you have other work to get done they will consider you VERY rude. Especially if you still leave on time from work that day (I leave on time because I didn't spend a lot of time chatting)

So even if I were to ask them to give me my own time they 1) may not do it and 2) may now be talking about how rude I am to everyone else. Better to just not have the issue come up in anyway at all.

So? Whose problem is that? Yours or theirs?

Yep--we absolutely signed up for it--and it works fine for us; we don't really complain, but when we "signed up for it" it was the understanding that the travel would provide minimum respect for DH, like his own room to sleep in at night while travelling---it is part of the bargain, even if not in the contract (that he will travel x percent is not in the contract either). Posters were not understanding why it was important for employees who must travel often to have their own space, couldn't understand why everyone can't just wear headphones and get along--in spite of multiple posts by others explaining, I felt it was going around and around--thus the sigh.

Ah...no. Nothing is 'part of the bargain' until it's signed and the deal is sealed. But it does explain why someone would be willing to quit a job they like because of the sleeping arrangement.

 

[cabanafrau]

Didn't say it was the norm, said it was the trend. As in, you'll be seeing much more of this going forward. And of course there are variations - like 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms or 4 bedrooms but just 2 bathrooms, etc. But, none of our customers are building traditional dorms right now.

I can believe it, especially knowing how much of a profit center schools are making housing these days, painfully so. It will be interesting to see how things change or don't with dorm styles over the next 20 years. DH's dorm was built in the thirties and a multimillion dollar renovation within the past ten years left it with communal bathrooms and tied three formerly double rooms together, with the central becoming living space and the two others becoming double bedrooms -- communal bathrooms still down the hall. The massive dorms built in the fifties and sixties have been receiving renos and still remaining as two doubles sharing a common bath in the middle, the double bedroom consisting of the only living space. I don't see these universities being able to either retrofit or replace these buildings, and I'd imagine that's similar to a lot of major schools around the country. It will be interesting to watch it play out.

When I was young families were larger than they tend to be today, and houses were smaller. I have an older friend (60) who grew up in a family of seven. She recently found online a current pic of their family home & hung it on her fridge. It's a smidge over 900 sq. feet, about 100 sq. feet per occupant when they lived there. Things are different today.

 

[cabanafrau]

Dearborn's dorms are literally in the parking lot at Fairlane. They have only gone up in the past three years or so and they're so popular that they are considering building another. Like you said, they're doing it to attract non-commuter students. If DD would have wanted to go there I would have let her live there instead of commuting. In fact, if she wanted to go to the University ten miles away, I would have let her live on campus. The girl needs to get out of my house.

Wayne State's aren't all like that, but the building we saw was. The dorms at MSU and Tech made me (figuratively) break out in hives and at Ann Arbor they wouldn't even show us the dorms. The selective schools have more leeway in what kind of housing they can offer and have people still want to go there. When I went to school many moons ago, my room was a suite with two large doubles and a shared bathroom in the middle and that was considered fancy at the time.

MSU and UofM offer many dorm configurations. Never even looked at Tech's in a brochure -- no matter how they made their pitch, DD wasn't having it. Way too cold for her blood up there! We keep telling her we expect her to jet off for the face of the sun one day and finally take off her sweaters. She thinks hot flashes sound cozy.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Ah...no. Nothing is 'part of the bargain' until it's signed and the deal is sealed. But it does explain why someone would be willing to quit a job they like because of the sleeping arrangement.

I think the best and most valuable employees are not willing to work (long term anyway) for employers which do not provide any respect or consideration for their staff beyond the bare minimum spelled out in a contract. I would certainly be looking for another job if my employer felt that they did not have to do anything whatsoever, no matter how basic and normal, unless it was stated in the contract. Likewise--as a decent employee I respect my employer and am a good worker and hold up my end of even the unwritten agreements---I don't only do exactly to the letter the minimum requirements and walk out the moment they are met.

 

[Poohforyou]

So? Whose problem is that? Yours or theirs?


Ah...no. Nothing is 'part of the bargain' until it's signed and the deal is sealed. But it does explain why someone would be willing to quit a job they like because of the sleeping arrangement.

I don't know what you do for a living but those of us working for major corporations don't sign a contract. There is likely a general LOA with salary and benefits outlined but not specifics about travel arrangements. Likely that's a discussion item when an offer is made and there is a verbal agreement. I've traveled, worked different hours to accommodate family needs, etc. None was in writing.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think the best and most valuable employees are not willing to work (long term anyway) for employers which do not provide any respect or consideration for their staff beyond the bare minimum spelled out in a contract. I would certainly be looking for another job if my employer felt that they did not have to do anything whatsoever, no matter how basic and normal, unless it was stated in the contract. Likewise--as a decent employee I respect my employer and am a good worker and hold up my end of even the unwritten agreements---I don't only do exactly to the letter the minimum requirements and walk out the moment they are met.

Precisely. If top execs require such extensive compensation for their valued services, it makes sense that the compensation of others not at such lofty heights should be compensated in ways which recognize their comprehensive value to the company as well.

 

[RedAngie]

I don't have to travel to work, but I'm given the opportunity to travel for optional conferences. They always expect you to share a hotel room with a coworker. However, you can usually opt to room alone and they'll at least pay half and you pay the other half to have the room to yourself (or bring along a spouse for fun). Totally worth it. I'm way too private to be comfortable sharing a room and bathroom with a coworker. We don't even socialize outside of work, so I sure as heck don't want to have a sleepover with them.

That's absolutely verboten in my company. No spouses, kids, significant others, secret lovers, companions, friends, groupies, hangers-on permitted on business trips. I suppose it's mostly for legal or liability reasons.

As for showering, I never had to shower with anyone in public school, nor did my kids, who are now grown. I wonder if it's a particularly American custom, to make school kids shower naked together?

In many areas of the U.S., it was considered the norm in public school years (decades) ago. Not sure if it's still prevalent.

Yes, I have seen stories on some interesting college living situations, including some that include daily maid service just like a hotel, and laundry service.

Or some parents expect the R.A.s to provide wake-up service for their precious snowflakes, and most likely make their beds and do their laundry too.

 

[sam_gordon]

I doubt there are very many who would quit outright without having something else lined up. But if travel was a large part of my job, the travel policy would be integral to my job satisfaction. If I was unhappy with such an important facet of my job, it would definitely motivate me to find something else.

As I mentioned upthread, I traveled for work and shared a room when I was younger. I did not have a lot of experience and did not realize that was not the norm. Since then, when I've had to travel, I've always had my own room and I much prefer that. Travel is not a large portion of my job and I'd probably grin and bear it (but wouldn't like it) if I had to share for a few days. On a frequent or long-term basis, I don't think I could tolerate it though. I'd definitely be looking for a different job.

I brought up earlier the amount of travel required would make a difference. A number of people have said or implied even if it's one night, it's too much. So I'd like to know how many people have turned down an assignment or left a company (which has been suggested in this thread) based solely on the "room sharing" policy.

 

[design_mom]

I brought up earlier the amount of travel required would make a difference. A number of people have said or implied even if it's one night, it's too much. So I'd like to know how many people have turned down an assignment or left a company (which has been suggested in this thread) based solely on the "room sharing" policy.

I truly doubt there are many who have that luxury... even if they would detest the room sharing policy.

 

[mom2rtk]

In many areas of the U.S., it was considered the norm in public school years (decades) ago. Not sure if it's still prevalent.

That's how our schools were when I was growing up. And it was every bit as traumatizing as one might expect.

(Ouch on the decades ago comment, regardless of how true it is!)

I was very grateful that my own kids didn't have to deal with that. Definitely a "what were they thinking" issue.

Although maybe it made sharing a hotel room with a coworker seem like not such a big deal to me.

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

I used to work for a non-profit trade Association. The staff was all women. I traveled about 3 times/year for about a week each time. My boss typically traveled with me. We each had our own room. The reason? When SHE started at the Association, she shared a room with the Association's 70 something receptionist. Said receptionist was an early riser (think 4 am) and she packed all of her clothes in tissue paper. So, at 4 am, she'd be up getting her clothes out of her suitcase and crinkling tissue paper . From that day forward, we all got our own rooms when traveling.

In my current job, there are optional conferences. I haven't attended any, but coworkers have and they've had to share rooms. I'd be paying for my own room if there were any available. I need my own space away from people I work with while I sleep. I also can't stand snoring. What if your coworkers snore? What if YOU snore for that matter and are embarrassed by it. No thank you!

 

[JoeA]

That's absolutely verboten in my company. No spouses, kids, significant others, secret lovers, companions, friends, groupies, hangers-on permitted on business trips. I suppose it's mostly for legal or liability reasons..

Technically, if they knew said lover was in your room he/she wouldn't be "secret" any longer!

 

[gwynne]

I brought up earlier the amount of travel required would make a difference. A number of people have said or implied even if it's one night, it's too much. So I'd like to know how many people have turned down an assignment or left a company (which has been suggested in this thread) based solely on the "room sharing" policy.

I think most people who wish to be treated with respect would mentally note a policy like room sharing. It would make it much more likely they would be open to keeping an eye out for other opportunities. It's not specifically the hotel room, it's the lack of general respect for an employee's privacy.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

That's absolutely verboten in my company. No spouses, kids, significant others, secret lovers, companions, friends, groupies, hangers-on permitted on business trips. I suppose it's mostly for legal or liability reasons.



In many areas of the U.S., it was considered the norm in public school years (decades) ago. Not sure if it's still prevalent.



Or some parents expect the R.A.s to provide wake-up service for their precious snowflakes, and most likely make their beds and do their laundry too.

I took my wife on a business trip once. I paid for her flight & the company even picked up our tab for an extra night at the hotel because my Sat morning flight was WAY cheaper than a Sunday evening flight. DW just laid at the hotel pool all day while I worked - still swears 20 years later it was the most relaxing vacation she's ever had LOL