September W.I.S.H. - Back to Basics

Oneanne

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 21, 2014
Well our shopping trip was a bit disappointing. It was a longer drive than expected...I live within 15 minutes of two large shopping malls, so after the 45 minute trek, I knew we wouldn't be coming often. Then when we finally arrived, there were signs that read: If you don't pay to park, you will be towed or booted. ***?! In my 56 years, I have never paid to park in any shopping or outlet mall. I had to download an app and pay $11 so I could park my car for the day. Imagine needing to run in just to pick up something...That started me on the wrong foot. This whole process took 10 minutes because I had never done it before, so she was late for her alterations appointment. Once we were inside the actual mall, I told her to run ahead, and I would catch up to her. As I walked, I was impressed with the stores, Bloomingdales and other high end stores and restaurants...definitely a step up from my mall with Penneys, Macy's, and Target. I started to get excited again. DD was able to get alterations, and she smartly asked them to ship her clothes when they were done to avoid having to come back just to pick up her clothes. She had picked up on my salty attitude. It was lunchtime, so we went to a very nice restaurant where I ordered a French Dip. Food, service, and views from the floor to ceiling windows were sublime. I was warming up to the mall again. We found out that Nordstrom validates parking if you get their credit card, so DD opened one. She bought black leather pants which flattered her figure. There were lots of very stylish sitting areas where I waited while she shopped till she dropped. We picked up some faux fur throws and began searching for the Women's plus clothing area. They don't have one in store, only online. The saleswoman we asked pointed out in her words, "the oversized clothing by this designer." "Oversized." Let that sink in. So because I do not fit in sizes 0-14, my clothes are considered to be oversized. WOW. Thanks for putting me in my place. I have not been, and I hate this term, "fat-shamed" like that in a store ever. Beyond being insulted by someone who easily could have sold me my entire fall/winter wardrobe yesterday if they carried my size, I am very surprised that they are not more like Lord & Taylor who catered to plus sizes and petites. I find it discriminatory that they only offer standard sizes. Anyway, when she was done in Nordstrom, we walked through the mall looking at the various stores, and we headed to Bloomingdales. Bloomingdales was the same, standard sizes only. That really took the wind out of my sails. I'm tired of shopping online. I want to walk into a lovely department store and buy beautiful Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Marc Jacobs, Michael Korrs, etc. Even though I prefer to buy things on sale, I would pay full price at this point, just for the experience.

I will go back there to shop for DD, but this place really left a bad taste in my mouth.
Sorry you had a bad experience at Nordstrom. Please do take the time to write at least to the Store Manager, because that was unacceptable. When we first started the Encore department I didn’t like being segregated like that but now that size runs are being broadened in the other women’s departments I don’t like having to hunt around and relearn how to shop, but I have found some good things in XXL on-line. I am 100 % with you on dropping “plus size”.
 

Oneanne

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 21, 2014
My understanding of mental health has shifted so much lately, moving beyond emotions and moods to learning how my brain works. And how I can change it and how I can’t. I feel like my coming years are going to be my best with this new knowledge.

For self-care, well all last week was about taking care of myself. Then actually starting the cleaning challenge in the bathroom was a big deal. I did three rounds of “why do I own this” and ended up tossing a grocery bag full of stuff. It was gut wrenching to think of all the money in that bag and how much trash I had accumulated. After that I played “is this where this belongs” with the things left, including making a trip to The Container Store for some fun new organizing containers. The rest of the day I kept wandering in to the bathroom just to look at it.

We are actually having a light rain this morning. It feels so good. I’m headed up to the Farmer’s market… wearing boots for the first time this season.
 

piglet1979

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 18, 2015
Good Morning! Catching up from the weekend. I got sleepy. It is pretty fitting. On those questions forms that little kids fill out about moms on Mother's day, my kids always put I like to sleep. I got 6/12 on the quiz. I guessed on most if not all of them. I like the story but like the live versions better then the animated one. Her voice in that one is like nails on a chalk board for me so I don't watch it.

For self care -- I watch football and sat on the couch all afternoon. I even took a little nap.

For my motivation -- This week is looking more normal. So I feel like I am getting back to normal. I do not feel like I am going to have a melt down at any second. This was my August. I cried in my bosses office. I was a mess in August. Thankfully I am feel more like myself and can focus more on me. I plan to get my walks in every day. We do have some appointments this week but I should be able to still walk.

This weekend was pretty fun. Friday I went to the football game. DS didn't go as we kept him home with his cold. It was a fun game though. On Saturday we got our grocery shopping done and DH took DD to get a real football. DH has found his thing with DD. He was worried that they didn't have a relationship. I pointed some stuff out to him that they can do but out of nowhere playing catch with a football started.

Saturday afternoon was a bit crazy. DS had a soccer game at 5 and then had to be at a band festival by 7. DH stayed with DD to get her to the bus for the festival and I went to DS's game and then to take him quickly to the band festival right after. We got to the festival at about 7:10. They knew the soccer boys were going to be late. There are about 6 or 7 kids that are in band that also play soccer. So no big deal on the time. The festival was really cool. Reminded me of my days in a competition band and going to competitions every weekend. The kids band is a show band and this was a festival of bands in the area that are show bands. How ever we were crammed into the stands. It was a tight fit for me and I am only 4'9". I was so uncomfortable being so close to people.

Yesterday, I took DD shopping for a homecoming dress. It was a bit crazy. We were able to go in Pennies and Macy's before the mall opened. We found a dress at Pennies (the first store we went to) but wanted to look around to see what else there was since they only had like 3 dresses there. Macy's had even less. She heard some girls on the soccer team say H&M had dresses so we waited around for the mall to open to stop here. We only have like 20 minutes to wait. So we walked around seeing if there were any other stores. Noon came with the opening of the mall. Nothing at H&M so we went to Dillards. The dress section here was a nut house. We looked quickly and got out. DD didn't like anything. We stopped at a few other stores quickly but they didn't really have anything. So instead of going back to Pennies to buy the dress, we got the shoes first. Then head to Pennies to find the dress gone. She was getting so upset. Then a girl came out of the dressing room and it was left in there (not from us). So we were able to get it. YAY!!! Moral of the story -- If you find a dress you like on a day that everyone else is looking at dresses too just buy it. If need be return it later. SO she has her dress and a pair of fancy cowboy boots for the dance. Not the shoes I would have picked but the dance got moved outside now and is weather permitting so the boots will work better then the heels.

The rest of Sunday was football and I made chicken paprikash for dinner.
 

Oneanne

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 21, 2014
Back at work this morning. I actually cleared my SLACK messages and emails last night so this morning it has been going over the important stuff and getting ready for the onslaught.

Yesterday I did a bad thing, well two bad things actually. I didn't get breakfast in me before going to the Farmer's Market and got so hungry that stopping in to the French bakery seemed like a good idea. It was not. I ended up having carbs for breakfast and lunch and then took a very long nap. Later in the day I went over to Marshall's to get a waste paper basket and also came home with new throw pillows and a table runner. Why do I even go into those stores knowing my weakness.

Despite the gluttony over French pastries I am back to my pre-vacation weight, so my motivation this week is to get another pound off. After having such wonderful places to walk last week I'm having trouble getting myself to walk in my neighborhood park, so that's another motivation for the week - get moving, keep moving. This week I'll also check out the online yoga classes my favorite place offers, would love to go to in-person but don't want to have to wear a mask while doing yoga.
 
  • Summer2018

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2017
    View attachment 604411

    Good morning, all, and happy Motivation Monday!!

    What's making you feel resilient, competent, and motivated today?
    I was speaking with my paraprofessional (she's from Haiti & doesn't speak good English) from last year who is working in two of my new kindergarten colleagues' classes. She is on the verge of quitting because they can't manage their classes. I asked her what the problem was in those classrooms. She said, "They don't have the power. You have the power."

    So apparently, I have "the power." That made me feel pretty resilient and competent.
     

    ShannyMcB

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 6, 2010
    @Summer2018 *hugs* having to go to a different store or shop online is quite frustrating. The employee could have conveyed the info in a much different way! Run into a similar issue with DS9 he needs slim and finding it in store isn't always easy. It's not a huge deal now as I pick out most of his stuff but when he wants to pick out his own stuff and leave with it in hand its frustrating.

    Time was a major motivator today! I went to visit my parents at the nursing home today on my lunch break. They typically come to the lobby sitting area but because my dad has mobility issues I was able to go upstairs. I spent most of my visit with him in their room as mom was busy socializing. She didnt really recognize me until I was leaving...masks are not the friend of the dementia patient. And because I was upstairs I had to wear the medical mask as opposed to my "smile mask." *sigh* I know eventually she wont recognize me but the masks making it worse...I know they are to keep everyone safe but I wish I could use the one where 3/4 of my face was visible.

    But I digress.

    I managed to get lunches made and grabbed a shower before I went to the meeting. My inlaws asked if they could take the kids to dinner so the meatballs I made yesterday for a quick dinner tonight will do nicely tomorrow. I also did an online order from the grocery store to pick up on my way home from work before the SECOND pta meeting of the week. State was tonight and school tomorrow. At least tomorrow is virtual so I can be multitasking!

    Tomorrow will be my first day with all three kids in school and me in the office. Hopefully I'll be able to get into that routine quickly.

    Since the kids went out to dinner I have to figure out something for DH and I. And seeing as I can hear DD jabbering away in her room it might be awhile before DH is ready to eat. Oh well.
     
  • PollyannaMom

    I was a click-clack champ!!
    Joined
    May 16, 2006
    604712

    Saw this graphic on Pinterest and thought it would make a good "Topic Tuesday" because so much going on right now forces us all out of our comfort zones.

    Have you got an example where something started out scary, but turned out to be an accomplishment in the long run?

    Or are you or someone you know heading into a situation where you hope this will happen?
     

    MickeyMom76

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 3, 2015
    Every school year…haha! In all seriousness, last year was definitely a scary start. But throughout it, I found myself feeling accomplished and resilient for figuring out a new way to teach. The problem is starting all over again with a whole new set of rules that seem to be changing week by week. But I keep using last year as my example of “I can do anything I put my mind to” and, I believe, with God’s help!

    I think my mom is stuck in the comfort or fear zones. I pray that she finds a way to take control and make some changes to her diet before she officially becomes diabetic. I just think there is comfort in eating as she always has as well as fear and self-doubt and feeling like it’s too late. Unfortunately she was starting to make good changes just before the pandemic hit. I hope she can recall how good it felt to make some changes and see her numbers drop.
     

    piglet1979

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 18, 2015
    @Summer2018 *hugs* having to go to a different store or shop online is quite frustrating. The employee could have conveyed the info in a much different way! Run into a similar issue with DS9 he needs slim and finding it in store isn't always easy. It's not a huge deal now as I pick out most of his stuff but when he wants to pick out his own stuff and leave with it in hand its frustrating.
    It is the same with my son. He is so darn skinny that the stores don't carry them. He is a 28 or 29 waist and 30 length. Plus he can only get certain types. Thankfully he hates shopping so online works great.

    Have you got an example where something started out scary, but turned out to be an accomplishment in the long run?

    Or are you or someone you know heading into a situation where you hope this will happen?
    I have one that fits both but it more about my DD then me. Here is what I put on Facebook this week.

    When she started school, back in Kindergarten, she was behind and struggled. In first grade she started in the title 1 program and was close to bring on an IEP. She worked her butt off with lots of help from her teacher and us and we didn't need to go that route, just continued in the reading club (title 1).

    3rd grade came the realization that the reading club was not something every kid did and that DS did not have to do it. This is when she realized she wasn't on the same level as DS and most of kids. That night was rough. She cried for a long time telling me that she was dumb. It was the hardest thing for a parent to hear. It broke my heart.

    Over the years since she has worked hard. Last year was her best year yet. She got 100% for 3 quarters in Math and about 97% in the last quarter. They moved her up to honors math for this year.

    Last week we got her test scores from the standardized tests from last spring. Her science score was higher then her math and was close to being in accelerated. She texted me as soon as she got the scores and wanted to be moved to honors. After talking with her counselor (who also talked to her teacher from last year, her teacher from this year and who the new teacher will be), and talking to the teacher she will have (her son is on the same soccer team as DS) we have decided to move her to the honors class.

    This girl has worked so hard and has had some really amazing teachers over the years. They have all helped her so much along the way.
    I am one proud parent.

    So DD worked hard moved out of the comfort/fear zone and made it all the way to the growth zone. Me, well I am in the fear zone with this move. I am afraid that this might be too much for her and she will get overwhelmed and her anxiety will kick in. I know she will prove me wrong though. She is good at that. She will do great with this move and her new teacher will get her caught up and we will be here to help her as well.
     

    sjrec

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 31, 2016
    It is the same with my son. He is so darn skinny that the stores don't carry them. He is a 28 or 29 waist and 30 length. Plus he can only get certain types. Thankfully he hates shopping so online works great.



    I have one that fits both but it more about my DD then me. Here is what I put on Facebook this week.

    When she started school, back in Kindergarten, she was behind and struggled. In first grade she started in the title 1 program and was close to bring on an IEP. She worked her butt off with lots of help from her teacher and us and we didn't need to go that route, just continued in the reading club (title 1).

    3rd grade came the realization that the reading club was not something every kid did and that DS did not have to do it. This is when she realized she wasn't on the same level as DS and most of kids. That night was rough. She cried for a long time telling me that she was dumb. It was the hardest thing for a parent to hear. It broke my heart.

    Over the years since she has worked hard. Last year was her best year yet. She got 100% for 3 quarters in Math and about 97% in the last quarter. They moved her up to honors math for this year.

    Last week we got her test scores from the standardized tests from last spring. Her science score was higher then her math and was close to being in accelerated. She texted me as soon as she got the scores and wanted to be moved to honors. After talking with her counselor (who also talked to her teacher from last year, her teacher from this year and who the new teacher will be), and talking to the teacher she will have (her son is on the same soccer team as DS) we have decided to move her to the honors class.

    This girl has worked so hard and has had some really amazing teachers over the years. They have all helped her so much along the way.
    I am one proud parent.

    So DD worked hard moved out of the comfort/fear zone and made it all the way to the growth zone. Me, well I am in the fear zone with this move. I am afraid that this might be too much for her and she will get overwhelmed and her anxiety will kick in. I know she will prove me wrong though. She is good at that. She will do great with this move and her new teacher will get her caught up and we will be here to help her as well.
    That is such a great story! You should all be very proud of yourselves.
     

    sjrec

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 31, 2016
    One thing I finally forced myself to do a few years back was sign up with a personal trainer at my local YMCA. I had this perception that people at the gym were already fit and working out in their designer spandex work out clothes-which wasn’t the case at all.
    When I finally started I loved it! I have been hesitant to return to the gym (and have made numerous excuses even before the pandemic) yet, but I am determined after my booster shot to call the nice woman I worked with and begin again.
     

    sjrec

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 31, 2016
    View attachment 604167
    View attachment 604168
    Happy Self-Care Sunday!
    This week, I really was concerned about my mental health. To the point that I talked to my husband about seeking help. Yesterday Friday night, we spent time with my sister & brother-in-law. Saturday I did my workout, spent extra time reading the Bible & praying, went back to my sisters to play with my nephew, watched Snow White while working on a weekly meal plan and ordered groceries. I am feeling much better! But that helped me realized how important self care is. So what are you planning to do for Self-Care Sunday?
    My health insurance included visits with mental health professionals (I think 3?) and at one point I contacted someone to talk through some things. It was through our church-what was called pastoral counseling. It was a great experience and I wouldn’t hesitate to use it again. My husband, and I love him, wants to “fix” my problem, my friends had their own lives and issues, so talking to an objective outsider was so freeing.
    And, at least one of my younger friends still teaching has shared they are talking to someone. These are not normal times. :hug:
     

    Oneanne

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 21, 2014
    This is very interesting to contemplate... I started writing this at 7am and am just getting back to it at almost 10 because I really had to think about it.

    When I tried giving yoga another shot in 2019 I had to tell myself/allow myself to ask to do it from a chair. This was a really big deal, standing out and asking for accommodation, but I knew I'd be more embarrassed rolling around on the floor struggling to get up and down. It made such a big difference in how I experienced the class and in how much I enjoyed it. Once I asked it was over and out of my head, vs trying to do the floor would have been a stressor the entire time.

     

    sjrec

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 31, 2016
    This is very interesting to contemplate... I started writing this at 7am and am just getting back to it at almost 10 because I really had to think about it.

    When I tried giving yoga another shot in 2019 I had to tell myself/allow myself to ask to do it from a chair. This was a really big deal, standing out and asking for accommodation, but I knew I'd be more embarrassed rolling around on the floor struggling to get up and down. It made such a big difference in how I experienced the class and in how much I enjoyed it. Once I asked it was over and out of my head, vs trying to do the floor would have been a stressor the entire time.

    My trainer was so good about that-she wanted me to feel comfortable so I would continue my workouts and was always willing to adapt things. I still do routines she came up with for me. And I bet your yoga instructor was glad you asked so you could enjoy the session.
     

    Oneanne

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 21, 2014
    My trainer was so good about that-she wanted me to feel comfortable so I would continue my workouts and was always willing to adapt things. I still do routines she came up with for me. And I bet your yoga instructor was glad you asked so you could enjoy the session.
    Yes, she was very supportive of the request which makes me want to continue doing yoga there. Plus it is a basics class that really is focused on the basics which is what I was looking for.
     


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