sensitive preggo announcement ideas?

[AuntieKels]

I am the only one of my close childhood friends who is married - or even in a relationship for that matter. We are reaching our later 20s so I try to be very sensitive of the other ladies who weren't as blessed as I was to find my mate at this age. Well, after one year of married bliss I am overjoyed to find out I'm pragnant. Now comes the hard part. Even though I know they will be genuinely happy for me I don't want to rub it in their faces. For one of my friends her life goal is to raise a family while the other friend doesn't think she will ever have a family. I struggled a lot in wedding planning to avoid awkward moments and hurt feelings - I even have a little guilt doing this to them again in just one year.

So here's my question: How do I tell them my news in a happy way that isn't gloating or insensitive?

Thanks!

 

[bdcp]

Um, you just announce it. I'm not sure why your happy news would be a problem for them. True, real friends will be happy for you. Their marital state isn't your problem. Late 20's isn't early to find your spouse. You're not doing anything "to them".

 

[Caropooh]

Hopefully you won't announce it to them by saying you're "preggo".....

 

[Allison]

You make it sound like reaching your late 20's and not being married makes someone a spinster. I think you are worrying about something you do not need to. Just share your good news.

 

[kimblebee]

Hopefully you won't announce it to them by saying you're "preggo".....

I totally agree! The only thing worse IMO would be if her hubby said preggo or preggers. UGH

 

[Southernmiss]

I totally agree! The only thing worse IMO would be if her hubby said preggo or preggers. UGH

Arghh! You did it. You used both words that are like nails on a chalkboard for me--hubby and preggo/preggers. EEK!

OP just state it matter of factly or slip it in if it can be brought up in conversation.

 

[cornflake]

I am the only one of my close childhood friends who is married - or even in a relationship for that matter. We are reaching our later 20s so I try to be very sensitive of the other ladies who weren't as blessed as I was to find my mate at this age. Well, after one year of married bliss I am overjoyed to find out I'm pragnant. Now comes the hard part. Even though I know they will be genuinely happy for me I don't want to rub it in their faces. For one of my friends her life goal is to raise a family while the other friend doesn't think she will ever have a family. I struggled a lot in wedding planning to avoid awkward moments and hurt feelings - I even have a little guilt doing this to them again in just one year.

So here's my question: How do I tell them my news in a happy way that isn't gloating or insensitive?

Thanks!

The rule people, the rule.

I'd go with announcing it in a way that doesn't imply that you somehow have gotten the notion that everyone wishes they were you.

Approximately 99% of the twenty-somethings I know would mostly think 'at least that's not me!' upon hearing one of their circle was married and pregnant.

 

[CF'er]

The worst thing you can do is announce it in a way that makes them think they should feel bad. Don't apologize or say how you didn't mean to get pregnant or anything like that. When you are ready to announce your happy news. Period.

 

[Lynne M]

When did 'later 20's' get to be spinster age? Do women still really wring their hands and worry that they'll never marry because they haven't caught a husband by the time they're 25? I thought that went out with wagon trains and butter churns.

Sorry, OP. In all seriousness, please don't treat your friends like they're deserving of pity because they don't have a man. That would cause hard feelings and awkwardness, alright, but not for the reasons you're thinking.

Just share your good news with them. They're your friends, they'll be thrilled for you.

 

[momof1princess]

When did 'later 20's' get to be spinster age? Do women still really wring their hands and worry that they'll never marry because they haven't caught a husband by the time they're 25? I thought that went out with wagon trains and butter churns.

Sorry, OP. In all seriousness, please don't treat your friends like they're deserving of pity because they don't have a man. That would cause hard feelings and awkwardness, alright, but not for the reasons you're thinking.

Just share your good news with them. They're your friends, they'll be thrilled for you.

this.

 

[sookie]

Just announce it. You will make it awkward if you over think it.

 

[Rylee]

Hmm...

Are your 20 something year old friends feeling beaten down, already given up on their dreams, as if live has passed them by at 20 something?

I really hope not.

Trust that they will be happy for you.

 

[pigletgirl]

I am the only one of my close childhood friends who is married - or even in a relationship for that matter. We are reaching our later 20s so I try to be very sensitive of the other ladies who weren't as blessed as I was to find my mate at this age. Well, after one year of married bliss I am overjoyed to find out I'm pragnant. Now comes the hard part. Even though I know they will be genuinely happy for me I don't want to rub it in their faces. For one of my friends her life goal is to raise a family while the other friend doesn't think she will ever have a family. I struggled a lot in wedding planning to avoid awkward moments and hurt feelings - I even have a little guilt doing this to them again in just one year.

So here's my question: How do I tell them my news in a happy way that isn't gloating or insensitive?

Thanks!

This may be harsh but here it goes.. The part where you said they arent "as blessed" (I bolded it) really really rubs me the wrong way. So, you've gotten married, and now pregnant. Awesome. You're in a different life stage than they are. Its no better or worse, just different. I find that to be such a condescending comment.

Go ahead and tell them. Know your priorities will not be the same as theirs. You're now a wife and soon to be mom.

Congrats!

 

[WDWAurora]

I thought you were going to say someone in your circle was dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss. I agree with the others. Just tell them. I think you may be creating an issue here. (unintentionally)

I agree with the blessed part a PP mentioned. Just because they aren't married and aren't expecting doesn't mean they aren't blessed. During 3 years of infertility, I was still so blessed.

 

[honeydiane1953]

I am the only one of my close childhood friends who is married - or even in a relationship for that matter. We are reaching our later 20s so I try to be very sensitive of the other ladies who weren't as blessed as I was to find my mate at this age. Well, after one year of married bliss I am overjoyed to find out I'm pragnant. Now comes the hard part. Even though I know they will be genuinely happy for me I don't want to rub it in their faces. For one of my friends her life goal is to raise a family while the other friend doesn't think she will ever have a family. I struggled a lot in wedding planning to avoid awkward moments and hurt feelings - I even have a little guilt doing this to them again in just one year.

So here's my question: How do I tell them my news in a happy way that isn't gloating or insensitive?

Thanks!

Announce you are knocked up... folks usually laugh.

 

[Patience]

OP, do you really believe these women are jealous of you? That seems very condescending to me. There is no need to make a production out of announcing your pregnancy. Just tell them you are pregnant and when the baby is due. No drama required. I doubt they will turn green with envy.

Where do you live that it's unusual and terribly sad for a twenty something not to be married and pregnant yet?

 

[Caseheidi]

To take a little bit of the other side, I was raised in a community where 30 is late to get married and start a family, and I can understand the pressures of this situation. As someone who did not marry until 31 and always wanted to start a family, and then suffered through fertility before adopting 8 years later, I can honestly say I never was upset when a friend would announce the joy they had in getting married or starting a family. I never viewed it as them rubbing my face in it. All I knew was happiness for my friend who was so happy. Just share your news with your friend, and I am sure she will be happy for you, even if she does feel envious. She would never want to think that your joy was diminished because of your worry about her.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Hey, I don't think that your friends will look at you with envy or anything like that. I think that you should make your joyful announcement and your friends will be happy for you!



And what the heck is this a Regency novel where late 20s is a spinster? I don't think so!

 

[Ember]

I have a beautiful friend struggling with infertility right now. While she sometimes feels sad when other people announce their pregnancies she is always truly and genuinely happy for them. Her sadness is just that is hasn't happened for her yet. I would simply announce it, without the fuss. Unless you were planning on adding, "Na na na na na na!" to your happy news, I doubt anyone will take it the wrong way.

Now, me on the other hand, I would think, "Oh, thank the stars it's her and not me!" But then, I don't want kids.

 

[mhsjax]

This may be harsh but here it goes.. The part where you said they arent "as blessed" (I bolded it) really really rubs me the wrong way. So, you've gotten married, and now pregnant. Awesome. You're in a different life stage than they are. Its no better or worse, just different. I find that to be such a condescending comment.

Go ahead and tell them. Know your priorities will not be the same as theirs. You're now a wife and soon to be mom.

Congrats!

Yes but later she says that one friend has a life goal of raising a family and they other one for whatever reason doesn't think she will ever have one. We may think that later 20's isn't a big deal, but she knows her friends, not us. She seems to feel that they would feel somewhat left out by this. That isn't for us to decide what her friends feel. She knows better than we do.