Sending child to school early

[We_Love_Disney]

Our school system now charges for "early admission".

There was an article in the paper last year....a family wanted to send their 4 yr old to kindergarten, and the school said

1. they had to see if there was a slot available
2. they would charge the family the amount of $ it costs the school system to provide an education per kindergartener

The family was going through a bad time financially, and had unfortunately planned to pull their dd from daycare, and put her in kindergarten. Anyway, I guess it's a sign of the times....schools are strapped and so are a lot of families.

I guess that is one way from preventing people from asking to send their child early to school

In some ways, I think some kids are sent to kindergarten so the parents don't have to pay the daycare bill anymore. Which is kind of sad. Friends of ours were told that both their summer babies would have benefited from another year at home/pre-school. They chose not to. Sadly both these children struggle to keep up. The bottom line was money.

 

[Aristomommy]

DD11 is a November birthday and started early. It came up due to a recommendation from her preschool teacher. She was academically mature as well as physically tall. I would discuss this with her preschool teacher as they see kids of all abilities I'm sure.

Right now DD is in advanced classes and doing great. She doesn't mind being the youngest (by a lot due to frequent redshirting around here) in her class and physically she does not stand out. We have talked about driving, dating etc and she is not worried about any of it. She has plenty of friends, mostly from the advanced classes and from 8th grade. For some reason she prefers older friends.

You know your child best. Consider the long term, but like I have learned, take it year by year.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I was an early child. I think I would have driven my mother nuts if she held me back one year. I was the youngest in my classes and excelled.

I also had a sister two years older than me and we were competitive. I had to read more than she did and she outdid my math work by a long shot.

The benefit is that I started college at 17 and was able to take time in college to travel and really enjoy college life and didn't feel like I was under any time constraints to finish so quickly.

I love the earlier poster who has it set that her kid will graduate high school at 17 with an AA degree. I wish I thought of that. I wonder even if that was available for me back in the 1980's? My last year of High School was boring and all I had to take were electives and one math class.

 

[Aristomommy]

That seems to be an epidemic around here. My DS11 is one of the youngest in his grade. (6) Most of the parents around here hold their kids (especially the boys) back and have them start kindergarten a year late. Why? Several of them have told me it was so their kids would have an edge in sports.

I think the sports is a big reason around here for boys too. Also with DD, she is in advanced classes at school. I was surprised to find how many of the kids in these classes were held back. So really, they are in age appropriate classes since the advance class works 1-2 years ahead of the regular grade....Some of the parents tell me their kids were bored in school up to 3rd grade so they were glad when they finally got into the advanced program. I don't get that either.

 

[Nicolepa]

The issue isn't really in elementary school. It is when they get to maybe Jr. High and definitly high school. Your daughter may feel uncomfortable that all her classmates are developing at least a year before her, the social "pressures" etc are there. The issues really aren't academic, they are mostly social.

I was going to put my daughter in school early. She tests off the charts, and could easily do the work. Even in the gifted program, which I feel is top notch, the work is way too easy for her. But after talking to specialists and professionals, I did not feel comfortable graduating her a week after her 17th birthday.

 

[Sanchez]

My son has a birthday 12 days after the cut off. In our district they must be 5 by December 1st. So much later than a lot of other schools. My son turned 5 on Dec. 12. I wanted to send him early, but our school wouldn't allow it. We ended up having him skip 2nd grade. He is now in 5th grade and doing great. It was the best decision we made. He is still at the top of his class, gets all A's, and has tons of friends. It helps that he is really mature for his age.

I really think maturity is a huge factor. My son was always ahead in maturity. His best friends when he was younger were cousins and kids I babysat who were 3 years older than him. At this point my friends joke that he is 9 going on 39.

A lot of people are against this. I really don't understand the attitude. I don't think all kids equal out academically by 4th grade or so. It just isn't true. My kids classrooms have kids getting all A's and kids barely passing. These kids would all benefit from being seperated based on ability not age.

There is also a large range of maturity among classrooms. The oldest is not always the most mature. The youngest is not always them least mature. My youngest is one of the oldest in his class, and he is also very immature.

To be fair, I am not sure that 5th gade is a point where you can decide whether it was a good decision or not. In our experience (also a son skipping second grade) the real issues don't come until junior high and high school. Girls, sports and the like may affect his confidence level and ability to compete. He will drive one to two years later than his classmates and you can be sure that there are more than a few girls who will not want to date the young kid in the class.

So now we have an academically talented kid who will graduate at 16. It just makes no sense to turn him loose at college at that age where the difference in maturity levels are significant.

In my opinion most parents who rush the child are doing it for themselves - me included. It is nice to hear how intelligent and wonderful your child is and fun to tell relatives and friends that your child skipped a grade. But there is no real benefit (and the "but my child would be bored if he was in a younger class" simply does not fly) to the child and in all likelihood we are doing these kids a disservice.

OP - we regret the decision to move our child ahead. Nothing bad has happened and he is very proud of his standing in school as the youngest in his class. But overall the benefits are minimal(if there are any) and the possible detriments are significant. Right now you are thinking about kindergarten and I am simply suggesting that you consider potential long term issues.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Don't most kids start highschool at 14. Mine will start at 13 due to being skipped a grade. Now he is a boy, but that doesn't bother me at all.

My dd is 14 and in 8th grade. She will turn 15 in Sept in her Freshman Yr of HS.

 

[punkin]

That seems to be an epidemic around here. My DS11 is one of the youngest in his grade. (6) Most of the parents around here hold their kids (especially the boys) back and have them start kindergarten a year late. Why? Several of them have told me it was so their kids would have an edge in sports.

Sports and academics. Around here they start tracking the advanced classes early and the kids in the advanced classes have an edge all the way through high school. If you are two years older (and prepped) wanna bet, you'll do better on their standardized tests? I am assuming average kids here.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

I can't imagine holding kids with Spring birthdays (to satisfy the 19 yo Senior scenario). My oldest is turning 13 next week and is in 17th grade. He is one of the oldest and will graduate at 18. My second son is a July birthday and one of the youngest in his class (6th grade). He is fine. My third son has a late Sept birthday and is one of the oldest in 2nd grade. But he will still graduate at 18. Why are people holding May birthday kids?

Now, my DD has a Sept. 2nd birthday. Doesn't make the cutoff here, but we probably won't live here when she is starting to school. That being said, I do plan on starting her "late". So that she will be 18 upon graduation.

 

[Colleen27]

My girls are both summer babies, and as such will naturally be the youngest in their grades just by starting school on time. The older of the two is 9 and in 4th grade now. Academically she does very well and she's only a little behind socially (not to the point of having a hard time making friends, but she's a "young" 4th grader compared to her classmates who are watching Twilight, wearing makeup, interested in boys, etc).

My biggest concern for her is high school, though, because that's where being younger and having stricter rules really makes a kid stick out. She won't be able to do a lot of the things her friends are doing, particularly senior year when 18+ venues/events start to come into play, because she won't turn 18 until after she leaves for college. And I know DH is going to have a hard time with it as she starts dating because she is on the young end; I think we're going to have a real blow-up when she's newly-14 and wanting to go to homecoming for the first time.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

DD10 started K a year early. Her birthday is Oct 1st the cut off in Illinois is Sept 1st. DD had been in full time structured day care since she was 2. I called the private school that we were going to go to, asked them and they said to come and have her tested. We did, and she passed with flying colors so we enrolled her.
Had this been her brother, we never would have done it. DD is a pretty bright kid and very social as well. My birthday is Sept 3rd I too was one of the youngest in my class, I was the last to drive, last to date, last to everything….but it was what it was, so who cared.
Now at 46 and still hanging around with those kindergarten, high school gang….guess what, I’M THE YOUNGEST STILL and hip hip horray for me.
In summary, it all depends on the kids. Our DD yes….our DD never

 

[Aristomommy]

My girls are both summer babies, and as such will naturally be the youngest in their grades just by starting school on time. The older of the two is 9 and in 4th grade now. Academically she does very well and she's only a little behind socially (not to the point of having a hard time making friends, but she's a "young" 4th grader compared to her classmates who are watching Twilight, wearing makeup, interested in boys, etc).

My biggest concern for her is high school, though, because that's where being younger and having stricter rules really makes a kid stick out. She won't be able to do a lot of the things her friends are doing, particularly senior year when 18+ venues/events start to come into play, because she won't turn 18 until after she leaves for college. And I know DH is going to have a hard time with it as she starts dating because she is on the young end; I think we're going to have a real blow-up when she's newly-14 and wanting to go to homecoming for the first time.

Makeup in 4th grade???

As far as DD is concerned, her friends all have different rules regardless of age. Some at 13 are not allowed makeup, some already have boyfriends. DD11 (almost 12) is not into either, but likes plenty of other things her friends do. When she is ready for dating, it's ok with me she dates someone 1-2 years older. That was my preference in high school, but the boys were in college. Socially that was more difficult than two high school students dating regardless of age.

 

[Becc1]

Thanks everyone for the responses! I was leaning towards keeping her home but when everyone at school started suggesting I send her early I felt like maybe I was being selfish by wanting her home. I have a feeling that I will end up not sending her early, she is pretty mature for her age right now since her main playmates are her older brothers but it does scare me about when she gets older. I know girls can be cruel and I don't want to have any issues in the future because of sending her early.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am sorry I have not read the responses, I just thought I would pop on and share my experiences with two kids who started early. Both started kindergarten at age four in a district where the cut off was December 1st (both have birthdays Christmas week).

My daughter is now 13 and in 9th grade. She started school early after the pre-K teacher pushed us to look into it. We have moved to somewhere with later cut off dates. The next youngest person in her class is 15. The class is about half 15 year olds and half 16 year olds (and two 17 year olds). She happens to do very well with older kids (and developed a lot early and has ALWAYS been the tallest girl in her class in spite of being the youngest--she looks like one of the older ones based on her build). She has thrived starting early. Academically she is still far ahead of the curve and would be bored stiff a grade lower. Emotionally.socially she does much better with older kids than younger and always has so that works. The times she has had issues in school were when we were new here and tried to put her with age mates (that was a disaster). Nonetheless, it is nerve wracking as a mom knowing she is spending so much time with kids that much older at this age. She has a male classmate who is sorta/kinda/almost a boyfriend since May. He seems liek a nce enough kdis and she knows him from being in calss with him all day every day--but he is 16 As a parent I can't help but be a bit freaked out by that and think if she had not started school early that would be better. The age difference in highschool was truly not something I thought about when she was 4.

DS is 11 and in 6th grade. He started school early after the kindergarten teacher and principal requested it (like your DD he spent a lot of time with me volunteering at school). Socially, he is pretty much a unique kid and never fully fit in with the older kids or with his agemates. Academically, he has LDs that were diagnosed late because he compensated so well for so long. WE found that he doesn't mind being bored/unchallenged in school (he is a daydreamer and will entertain himself) but he gets very stressed about teh workload and handles it better when that is not so out of whack for his age. So, we dropped him back down to being with his agemates and he seems to be much happier now.

In the end, I really don't regret we did it and for my daughter I think it is the best thing (in spite of my reservations with her spending her days with such an older crowd) and for my son I don't think it was overly damaging (largely because he id not take it as a bad thing when we moved him down--though I think had we not moved at the time and he had seen his classmates move up and not him that may have caused a lot of issues).

 

[princessmom29]

My DD is an october birthday. I WISH I had been given the option to send her early. She really needed to be in K the year she turned 5. She was so bored in K-4, and still is now in 1st grade. She finishes a weeks worth of HW in 30 min at home.

 

[mousebymarriage]

DD14 birthday is September 25th and our school cut off was October 1st. Our elementary school is pre-k through 8th grade. Pre-k is a half day program and kindergarten is full day. This is a public school but, it is small-only 240 kids in the entire school, only one pre-k and one kindergarten. When I registered DD the school secretary said that because her birthday was right before the cut off I could hold her back from pre-k because she would be starting at age 3 and everyone else was already 4. I told the secretary "no thank you", DD knew all her colors, shapes, letters, numbers, she could count to 100, how to write her name-first, middle and last (along with many other things), and she could read. DD was also a very out going child.
So DD started pre-k when she was 3 and I never regretted it. She was in Gifted and Talented classes when she was younger and advanced classes when she was older, all the while maintaining straight A's. She is currently a freshman in High School in all honors classes. Yes, she is younger than basically all of her friends but, she doesn't seem fazed by it at all.

OP my advice to you is that you should do what you feel is best for your child not what others think you should do. Only you know whether your child would be able to handle the work based on what she already knows and her desire to learn. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Aneille]

My DD is an october birthday. I WISH I had been given the option to send her early. She really needed to be in K the year she turned 5. She was so bored in K-4, and still is now in 1st grade. She finishes a weeks worth of HW in 30 min at home.

I am not trying to pick you out specifically but your post was the last post I read that had this sentiment concerning boredom.

I have a question for you and others with kids that are academically ahead of the curve in very early elementary grades say K-3rd.

Is it so bad to be ahead of the curve?

I would think having a weeks worth of homework done in 30 minutes would be empowering and would build self confidence. I would also think it would allow more time to be a kid, or spend more time doing school work that is more interesting than the routine stuff learned in school. That a child doing that well would have more time to foster other interests whether it was academic in nature or not.

I guess I don't really see it as a bad thing, unless your child is so far ahead of the curve that they could skip not just one grade but multiple grades. Or if the child lacks the maturity to be able to sit through a class that doesn't hold their interest because they already have that knowledge.

I am curious. My 2 oldest children do very well in school but are probably just slightly above average, but I am expecting my 3rd to be a "little bored" in K next year and I don't see it as such a bad thing.

 

[marcyinPA]

You're going to get many differing opinions. I'm against sending them early. It's not just a matter if the child is able to do the work it's also a matter of maturity.
They have years to go through school. Why not just do an extra year of preschool then send her when she is the appropriate age?

Preschool teacher here...and I agree! In my experience, there is no benefit to being the the youngest in the class. A year to mature, and grow, however, may have many benefits. Give her another year in preschool and don't look back!!

 

[mousebymarriage]

I am not trying to pick you out specifically but your post was the last post I read that had this sentiment concerning boredom.

I have a question for you and others with kids that are academically ahead of the curve in very early elementary grades say K-3rd.

Is it so bad to be ahead of the curve?

I would think having a weeks worth of homework done in 30 minutes would be empowering and would build self confidence. I would also think it would allow more time to be a kid, or spend more time doing school work that is more interesting than the routine stuff learned in school. That a child doing that well would have more time to foster other interests whether it was academic in nature or not.

I guess I don't really see it as a bad thing, unless your child is so far ahead of the curve that they could skip not just one grade but multiple grades. Or if the child lacks the maturity to be able to sit through a class that doesn't hold their interest because they already have that knowledge.

I am curious. My 2 oldest children do very well in school but are probably just slightly above average, but I am expecting my 3rd to be a "little bored" in K next year and I don't see it as such a bad thing.

I don't see it really being a bad thing either except that with some children when they are bored or finish their class work, tests etc. before the rest of the class, they may have a tendency to talk to their neighbors thus get in trouble for disrupting the class. When DD was in school she usually finished her work early and would then talk to her friends but, they weren't done yet. The problem was easily fixed by the teachers who would allow DD to do worksheets, crossword puzzles, word searches etc. when she was finished rather than having her just sit there staring into space while everyone else finished their work. The teachers also allowed any other students to do the same if they finished early. Obviously, this was when DD was younger, when she got older she was allowed to read or do her homework while the others finished.

As for skipping a grade our Principal doesn't allow it.

 

[Green Tea]

If you send a child when they are supposed to go then there is no regret looking back wondering.....You played by the rules.