Sending child to school early

[punkin]

Something else to think about:

My DD has an end of July b-day and I sent her on time. She is by far the youngest in her class because most everyone else held their kids back if they had a summer birthday. She is 7 and there are students that turned 8 before they entered 2nd grade. She will turn 8 right before 3rd grade.

So although she is only 20 days after the cut-off, once she is in school there will be kids that will be over a year older than her and then you need to add the kids that have been held back for various reasons after they entered the school.

Just something to think about.

Definitely. My DD turned 12 last weekend. Her best friend is turning 13 today. They are both in 7th grade. There are children (mostly boys) in DD's class who will turn 14 before the year is out. People around here really believe in holding the kids back. Now tell me that a 14 yo should be in the same class as a 12 yo. Yes, DD is academically advanced (which is why I didn't hold her back despite "expert" opinions, but I am really uncomfortable that she is not hanging out with boys who are almost 2 years older than she is.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

My son has a birthday 12 days after the cut off. In our district they must be 5 by December 1st. So much later than a lot of other schools. My son turned 5 on Dec. 12. I wanted to send him early, but our school wouldn't allow it. We ended up having him skip 2nd grade. He is now in 5th grade and doing great. It was the best decision we made. He is still at the top of his class, gets all A's, and has tons of friends. It helps that he is really mature for his age.

I really think maturity is a huge factor. My son was always ahead in maturity. His best friends when he was younger were cousins and kids I babysat who were 3 years older than him. At this point my friends joke that he is 9 going on 39.

A lot of people are against this. I really don't understand the attitude. I don't think all kids equal out academically by 4th grade or so. It just isn't true. My kids classrooms have kids getting all A's and kids barely passing. These kids would all benefit from being seperated based on ability not age.

There is also a large range of maturity among classrooms. The oldest is not always the most mature. The youngest is not always them least mature. My youngest is one of the oldest in his class, and he is also very immature.

 

[Tink888]

I think most kids benefit from preschool. When it comes to kindergarten, you will find kids with all kinds of academic abilities. All of mine could read before entering school, and dd9 was reading chapter books. However, most kids tend to have similar social skills, with the youngest in the class having the hardest time. Emotional maturity, IMHO, is more important in the beginning of school than academic ability. Around 4th grade, most are on the same page academically, but the difference in social skill between the oldest in the class, and youngest in the class, especially with girls, has a large gap.

I agree with the bolded statement.

I had an August birthday and was one of the younger kids in my class. Never had a problem academically or socially.

DS15 has a July birthday and started Kindergarten right after he turned five along with two years of pre-school. Academically he was ahead of his peers but there were some issues socially. They were resolved by the time kindergarten was over. One of the biggest issues IMO was the adjustment from going from pre-school where there were lots of opportunities for play and socialization to kindergarten where the emphasis was more on academics. My son wanted to play and talk and have fun. Add that he was bored and it was a recipe for disaster. He has been fine and is probably more mature than a lot of his peers now but he is one of the youngest in his class. Will be one of the last to drive, etc.

The trend seems to be keeping them back that extra year.

It really comes down to how well you feel your daughter would do socially. Girls tend to be more mature. Has she had lots of opportunities to spend time with other kids and interact.......can she follow rules.....keep herself occupied independently?

How will you feel down the road with the age difference among her classmates?

If you are thinking of waiting and she's writing and at a point where she's ready to read now, maybe talk to the school and look into the kindergarten curriculum as well as what they offer in terms of challenging students who are ahead of their peers.

I don't regret sending my son when I did and he's never struggled academically but I'd be lying if I said the first few months of kindergarten was a walk in the park for us because it was anything but.

 

[Green Tea]

If she misses the deadline, I wouldn't send her. I am a proponent of sending the kid when they are supposed to go; whether their birthday is 20 days before the cutoff or 20 days after. Yes, it is close, but some date has to be selected. I would go with the rules.

 

[golfgal]

Definitely. My DD turned 12 last weekend. Her best friend is turning 13 today. They are both in 7th grade. There are children (mostly boys) in DD's class who will turn 14 before the year is out. People around here really believe in holding the kids back. Now tell me that a 14 yo should be in the same class as a 12 yo. Yes, DD is academically advanced (which is why I didn't hold her back despite "expert" opinions, but I am really uncomfortable that she is not hanging out with boys who are almost 2 years older than she is.

Or in high school when she will be 14 and senior boys will be 19 .

 

[punkin]

Or in high school when she will be 14 and senior boys will be 19 .

Actually, and even more frightening, she will be only 13 when she starts 9th grade. Now mind you, she fell barely within the cutoff. It's just that around here everyone seems to hold back their "younger" children, so while she is the correct age, the vast majority of the rest are not.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Or in high school when she will be 14 and senior boys will be 19 .

Don't most kids start highschool at 14. Mine will start at 13 due to being skipped a grade. Now he is a boy, but that doesn't bother me at all.

 

[golfgal]

Actually, and even more frightening, she will be only 13 when she starts 9th grade. Now mind you, she fell barely within the cutoff. It's just that around here everyone seems to hold back their "younger" children, so while she is the correct age, the vast majority of the rest are not.

We have a Sept 1st cutoff so kids going into 9th grade are all 14 or older, turning 15 in 9th grade. Our twins turned 13 in 7th grade. Look a little further down the road to college and she won't even be legal to drink until she is OUT of college.

 

[RadioNate]

If she misses the deadline, I wouldn't send her. I am a proponent of sending the kid when they are supposed to go; whether their birthday is 20 days before the cutoff or 20 days after. Yes, it is close, but some date has to be selected. I would go with the rules.

I'm with you. Someone has to be the oldest & someone has to be the youngest. If everyone wasn't jockeying for "advantages" and followed the rules all our kids would be better off IMO.

I sent my May birthday on time & I'll send my Dec birthday on time too.

My friend's ds has an early June birthday & was held out a year. He's huge & far more mature than his classmates. This makes him a huge bully, he's older, bigger & thinks that makes him the boss of all the "correct" age kids. This kid is already giving his parents hell. It was great when he was in early Elementry school. Now they are seeing problems. He'll be 19 his entire senior year, my DS will graduate just days after turning 18.

 

[golfgal]

Don't most kids start highschool at 14. Mine will start at 13 due to being skipped a grade. Now he is a boy, but that doesn't bother me at all.

Yes but most seniors turn 18 their senior year, not 19. In our old town it was VERY common to hold kids back. DS18 had some kids in his grade almost 2 years older then he did. One girl in his class had a Dec birthday and was held back (Sept 1st cut off). She got her driver's permit in 8th grade. DS18 was younger then most of the kids in the grade behind him. Our old neighbor's son is 5 months younger then DS and 2 grades behind him. He is turning 18 soon and is only a junior in high school. This girl in DS's grade turns 20 next month and just started her freshman year in college.

Honestly, with boys, the maturity issue is worse since boys tend to mature later. Give it a year or two and it might be a big deal.

 

[Redmic]

My daughter also has a September birthday. Although she will start college at 17, she has had no age related problems. She is now a junior in high school and valedictorian of her large class, successful socially, etc. Looking at it in hind sight, I am sooo glad we let her start school when she did. I actually think she would have done worse over the long haul if he had held her back, because she would have been bored. I realize each child is different, but as one who has been there I say, go for it!

 

[N&B'smom]

Actually, and even more frightening, she will be only 13 when she starts 9th grade. Now mind you, she fell barely within the cutoff. It's just that around here everyone seems to hold back their "younger" children, so while she is the correct age, the vast majority of the rest are not.

That seems to be an epidemic around here. My DS11 is one of the youngest in his grade. (6) Most of the parents around here hold their kids (especially the boys) back and have them start kindergarten a year late. Why? Several of them have told me it was so their kids would have an edge in sports.

 

[mrsxsparrow]

My birthday is 9/11, and I'm always the youngest in my classes. I'm 22 and in college now so classes are different, but in high school, I couldn't imagine being in the grade below me. As it was, I was always top of my class anyway. Our cutoff was 9/10 when I enrolled in kindergarten so I was only a day behind, but I'm very very glad my mom put me in early.

However, I also had one year of preschool and one year of pre-K behind me before I actually entered kindergarten. If you dd hasn't been to school yet I think it would be a good idea to put her in some type of preschool rather than skip ahead to kindergarten. It isn't really an age or maturity thing -- I've just always been a big believer in preschool.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Yes but most seniors turn 18 their senior year, not 19. In our old town it was VERY common to hold kids back. DS18 had some kids in his grade almost 2 years older then he did. One girl in his class had a Dec birthday and was held back (Sept 1st cut off). She got her driver's permit in 8th grade. DS18 was younger then most of the kids in the grade behind him. Our old neighbor's son is 5 months younger then DS and 2 grades behind him. He is turning 18 soon and is only a junior in high school. This girl in DS's grade turns 20 next month and just started her freshman year in college.

Honestly, with boys, the maturity issue is worse since boys tend to mature later. Give it a year or two and it might be a big deal.

I see your point, but with my boy I don't think it will be a big deal. He is very mature for his age. His teacher tells me she would never guess he skipped a grade if I didn't tell her. Any adult who talks to him comments on it. Its just the way he is. He is big for his age too so that helps.

As for people holding kids back who are the right age to start I can see both sides. If the child isn't ready it might be a good idea. I think some people do it for the wrong reasons.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

My daughter never went to pre-school. I was home with her, and if you are too, then there is no need for pre-school. My girl is graduating at the top of her class, and never had a problem fitting in. You have other children, so she is learning quite a bit from them already.

Daughter is a senior in high school, and I can tell you that it is easy to see the ones that are on the younger end of the grade. The school she is in takes kids from around the area, so there are those whose birthdays are as late as December 31, rather than the cut off of September 1. Those that were born in August through December really struggle. They are not as mature, physically, emotionally, and mentally. They try to keep up with the older ones and you can just see they are a little .... lost. Some of these kids are brilliant, but, they still struggle with the rest of the issues.

Take the time to enjoy hanging out with your daughter, you are the best teacher she will ever have. These are the years that you can really bond and have great adventures with. School will still be there next year. By then she will be that much older, more ready, and be a leader, not a follower.

 

[2girlsmom]

I started kindergarten in a state with 12/6 cutoff, but moved in 2nd grade to IA where the cutoff was 9/6, as a result I was BY FAR the youngest in my grade. Academically it wasn't at all a problem, I was frequently in AP classes, and in fact when we first moved to IA and they tested me they wanted to put me in 3rd grade instead of second (I was 6 at the time!), so glad that my parents didn't let them, though. Emotionally/socially I struggled with being so much younger than my classmates all through jr high/high school, and while I was popular enough, I never felt that I fit with my classmates, and was extremely self concious into adulthood. As a result I would not recommend putting your child in school if she is younger than the deadline, not for academic reasons but for the emotional baggage that can come from being the "baby" of the class, and this is the reason that we rejected when the school wanted to have my dd10 skip a grade, yes, academically she would have been fine, as she was always advanced and still is, but I am convinced in the long run that it wouldn't have been a positive experience for her.

 

[scbelleatheart]

My DD was born in Nov. I sent her eary.Went to college at 16, graduated at 20 had her Master's at 22 and is working on her doctorate. My DS however was not ready and I even held in back in 2nd. Worked out great for sports though.

 

[undertheradar]

I have not read every post but the choice may not be yours. Depending upon your school district's policies, your child might have to be tested and exceed the tests performed by school psychologists before being accepted for early admission. That was the procedure in our Ohio school district and is also the procedure in our California district.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think it depends on the child. Our daughter was born in late December. The private preschool she was in put her into Kindergarten when she was 4 going on 5. She excelled, and was very advanced for her age (could read at 2 1/2). We decided NOT make her go through Kindergarten again in her public school district. We convinced the district to let her into 1st grade, even though the cutoff was 9/30.

She is now in 9th grade, and has no problems with being the youngest in her grade. It was a small issue earlier, but really isn't much of a problem anymore.

If I had the same choice with my son, I would not have done it. Not that he isn't smart, but at 4 he wasn't quite in the mode for full day school.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our school system now charges for "early admission".

There was an article in the paper last year....a family wanted to send their 4 yr old to kindergarten, and the school said

1. they had to see if there was a slot available
2. they would charge the family the amount of $ it costs the school system to provide an education per kindergartener

The family was going through a bad time financially, and had unfortunately planned to pull their dd from daycare, and put her in kindergarten. Anyway, I guess it's a sign of the times....schools are strapped and so are a lot of families.