Screaming lap babies

[justhat]

When I flew with our baby who was 4 months old at the time, I had his infant seat in the seat next to me (didn't *buy* the seat, but it was available), and the flight attendant told me specifically that baby could sit in his seat while we were cruising, but for take-off and landing, I had to take him out and hold him.

I think he had it backwards.

I really have no idea, but my guess would be that it has something to do with the fact that your baby was technically a lap baby. Don't they give you a form to fill out about them or something? Maybe on there it states you have to hold the baby? I know I was handed a little form twice by Southwest, but when I stated my baby had a ticket they took the form back so I never really saw what was on it.

 

[stella27]

I really have no idea, but my guess would be that it has something to do with the fact that your baby was technically a lap baby. Don't they give you a form to fill out about them or something? Maybe on there it states you have to hold the baby? I know I was handed a little form twice by Southwest, but when I stated my baby had a ticket they took the form back so I never really saw what was on it.

I think the flight attendant just had his rules backwards. And he ceased to be a lap baby once he had a seat. No forms to fill out. Just had to tell the gate agent his name and age. American Airlines.

 

[kyra's mommy]

Please forgive me if someone has already said this but I got lazy after reading four pages of this post...

Anyway, you can ask to use your car seat if the flight isn't full. I'm a flight attendant and have been for 15 years so I know this is true. I do suggest trying to use it if possible for all the reasons mentioned before. Turbulence is very dangerous, and while a crash in unlikely, turbulence is quite likely. My company pays alot of oji payments to flight attendants who get really screwed up by hitting the ceiling in turbulence. So, if possible try to use your car seat.

With that said, babies cry whether they are in a car seat or not. They are babies. The most annoying babies are my own and they cry in my house, my car, restaurants, wherever, because they are babies. We all do our best and feel very acutely embarrassed by our children's crying but we are all sharing the same so people need to give one another a little grace.

That's my two cents and it's probably worth what you paid for it. lol.

 

[kyra's mommy]

Sharing the same space... that's what I meant. Too lazy to check my post too.

 

[Fintastic]

I don't see anything wrong with nursing during the flight, but I just wouldn't do it during takeoff and landing. If the adults by law have to be seated and buckled in during those times, then it stands to reason the babies should too.

 

[tinkermom23]

With that said, babies cry whether they are in a car seat or not. They are babies. The most annoying babies are my own and they cry in my house, my car, restaurants, wherever, because they are babies. We all do our best and feel very acutely embarrassed by our children's crying but we are all sharing the same so people need to give one another a little grace.

That's my two cents and it's probably worth what you paid for it. lol.

 

[stacy6552]

hello. OP here. Just weighing in on the 9 pages. Whew!

First of all, I would just like to say that I was commenting more on the change in my own perspective, than anything else. I did not say, nor mean to imply that to fly with your infant on your lap was neglectiful. However, to let your child off your lap in the window seat, climb over sister, then brother, then cross the isle unassisted during the most dangerous part of the flight is, imho, neglectful.

To the poster who said that a car seat would not help in the event of a crash, you should go find the 3 families on board Flight 232 that crashed in Souix City. They all walked off the plane after it crashed, without their children who had been lost from their grips in the crash. Only one was rescued from an overhead compartment by a stranger. Beyond that, I think turbulence has already been addressed.

Now as a comsumer I have decided its bad business. "Mr. Airline Owner, we have this passenger who is at high risk of disrupting other passengers. What should we chage them?" Should the answer to that really be, "By all means let them fly for free." To me its more inline with the "customer of size" issue.

Binky, no binky? Ummmmm, no binky once child startsd handling it like a cigerette, popping it in and out to discuss politics?

Breast fed, bottle fed? Ummmmmm, stop breast feeding before the child is old enough to ask for it and undress you?

And because its the one issue I didn't see covered......Stay at home mom or working mom? Anyone?????

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...And because its the one issue I didn't see covered......Stay at home mom or working mom? Anyone?????

Well, it is pretty clear from this thread that moms need to stay at home - and keep their babies there with them...

 

[kpm76]

I completely agree. Even if you absolutely *must* nurse your baby on takeoff and landing (though I have yet to see anyone say why that is, just that all these pediatricians and trauma surgeons are saying you have to, yet our ped and my husband don't seem to feel that is necessary, nor did my kids as they never had one issue on a flight), I still see no reason why that means you shouldn't buy the baby a seat and use the carseat. That just doesn't make any sense. Like the poster I quoted said, wouldn't you want the option of putting your baby safely in the carseat if there is turbulence or a rough landing? I know I certainly liked having that peace of mind.

The reason I "must" nurse my baby is because she's hungry....what a concept My ped recommended nursing (since I never bottle fed) on take off and landing to ease the potential pain in her ears. I know my ears pop like crazy during those times so I can only imagine what it's like for an infant. Our peds been practicing medicine for more than 20 yrs and I trust his advice.

"All these trauma surgeons" are not saying you have to nurse. My point was that I mentioned it to my FIL as a safety concern and he said he didn't think it was an issue. We still had a seat for DD but I always nursed quite a bit during flights. Frankly, I don't know your husband or what his specialty is so why should all of us random people on the Dis disregard the advise given by those who we love and trust? I would not expect you to change your mind based on my examples so please don't expect me to change mine based on yours.

As moms I think we all do what we think is best for our children based on experience and advise......children are not cookie cutters either. Simply because one child does not need to nurse or have a bottle does not mean that is the case for everyone.

 

[kevschickee]

The reason I "must" nurse my baby is because she's hungry....what a concept My ped recommended nursing (since I never bottle fed) on take off and landing to ease the potential pain in her ears. I know my ears pop like crazy during those times so I can only imagine what it's like for an infant. Our peds been practicing medicine for more than 20 yrs and I trust his advice.

"All these trauma surgeons" are not saying you have to nurse. My point was that I mentioned it to my FIL as a safety concern and he said he didn't think it was an issue. We still had a seat for DD but I always nursed quite a bit during flights. Frankly, I don't know your husband or what his specialty is so why should all of us random people on the Dis disregard the advise given by those who we love and trust? I would not expect you to change your mind based on my examples so please don't expect me to change mine based on yours.

As moms I think we all do what we think is best for our children based on experience and advise......children are not cookie cutters either. Simply because one child does not need to nurse or have a bottle does not mean that is the case for everyone.

Thank you!!! It was really getting to me. Just because your child or husband doesn't think its needed doesn't mean it isn't needed

 

[justhat]

The reason I "must" nurse my baby is because she's hungry....what a concept My ped recommended nursing (since I never bottle fed) on take off and landing to ease the potential pain in her ears. I know my ears pop like crazy during those times so I can only imagine what it's like for an infant. Our peds been practicing medicine for more than 20 yrs and I trust his advice.

"All these trauma surgeons" are not saying you have to nurse. My point was that I mentioned it to my FIL as a safety concern and he said he didn't think it was an issue. We still had a seat for DD but I always nursed quite a bit during flights. Frankly, I don't know your husband or what his specialty is so why should all of us random people on the Dis disregard the advise given by those who we love and trust? I would not expect you to change your mind based on my examples so please don't expect me to change mine based on yours.

As moms I think we all do what we think is best for our children based on experience and advise......children are not cookie cutters either. Simply because one child does not need to nurse or have a bottle does not mean that is the case for everyone.

Are you seriously saying you cannot nurse your child before or after takeoff? The child simply won't nurse, or what?

I am not trying to change your mind. I could care less what you do. I am posting this because someone (not sure anymore if it was you or not) said that they would never consider buying a seat for a baby cause it *has* to nurse on takeoff and landing and that simply in't true for 100% of babies, but 100% of babies would in fact be safer secured in a carseat during those times.

My husband really has nothing to do with it. He's not a pediatrician nor does he desire to be. He's an anesthesiologist, so his opinion is as valid as that of a trauma surgeon. Or anyone. My point here is that as a physician, he was never taught in medical school nor in residency that a child needs to or should nurse on a flight during takeoff rather than be secured in a carseat. I am still waiting to hear why this is a necessity. The potential of ear pressure is there, of course, but certainly not a guarantee. To say that someone should not buy a seat for a baby because they have to nurse and there is no other way around it is ridiculous.

 

[justhat]

Thank you!!! It was really getting to me. Just because your child or husband doesn't think its needed doesn't mean it isn't needed

Likewise. However, there are options. It is undoubtedly safer for the child to be secured in a carseat during takeoff, landing, and turbulence. Since you can't predict turbulence, pretty much the whole flight is a good idea. Obviously there need to be times when you take the baby out, but otherwise, it is safer there and I can't see any studies saying otherwise.

So to say a child needs to nurse is not the only option. I'd much rather go through the 'hassle' of pumping and throwing a bottle of pumped milk in my diaper bag than not have my baby secured in a seat. So my child might still 'need' my milk on the flight, even during landing, and that's fine, but I'd much rather use a bottle or pacifier than compromise my baby's safety to hold it and nurse.

 

[kpm76]

Are you seriously saying you cannot nurse your child before or after takeoff? The child simply won't nurse, or what?

I'm not sure why you care so much what other people do. As I mentioned previously, my ped (with over 20 yrs experience....and yes, that is relevant) recommended nursing during take off and landing. I have done and will continue to do it. We do have a seat for DD but when she needs or wants to nurse I do it. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me what your husband learned or didn't learn in med school or residency. The fact is he's not a ped and does not have years of experience dealing with children. If he thinks keeping your children in the car seat is best for your family, I won't argue. Do what is best for your situation and I will do what is best for mine.

To address the issue of pumping yet again, I cannot pump. I simply do not get enough milk from the pump and my DD never liked a bottle. The trouble is that you are making assumptions based on your experience with your children and as I previously mentioned, not all children are the same and have the same needs. Why is that such a difficult concept to grasp? Some of us can't "just give a bottle or paci" because it doesn't work for our children.

 

[justhat]

Did you ever ask the ped about alternatives? Our ped has been practicing 16 years and the others in her group well over 20 years. Like I said, they prefer the carseat on a flight whenever possible. I'm sure if they encountered a patient, like you for example, who said none of the alternatives were valid, and were flying with a baby who had not yet started solids (so somewhere between 4-6 months for most babies), then they would say to do what you have to do.

Is it the safest option? No, the carseat is. But yes, it is an option, it is not neglectful, wrong, bad, etc. If the alternatives that provide a higher level of safety are not options for you, then you have to do what you have to do. But that isn't the case for all people, hence the point of my post. To enlighten people who may just read "Don't buy your baby a seat because it absolutely must be nursed at takeoff and landing, not prior to the flight or at any other time." New parents read that and think that's the only option, which, for many people, is not true.

Of course nursing is great for a baby at any time, but like I said, there are other options for MOST people in a situation when it is safer to keep your baby restrained. So to say on a message board that this is the only alternative and therefore people shouldn't buy seats for their babies isn't the best advice. My point about med school is that if this were, in fact, the only alternative for a nursing baby on a flight, then it would be taught in medical school. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

 

[kevschickee]

Did you ever ask the ped about alternatives? Our ped has been practicing 16 years and the others in her group well over 20 years. Like I said, they prefer the carseat on a flight whenever possible. I'm sure if they encountered a patient, like you for example, who said none of the alternatives were valid, and were flying with a baby who had not yet started solids (so somewhere between 4-6 months for most babies), then they would say to do what you have to do.

Is it the safest option? No, the carseat is. But yes, it is an option, it is not neglectful, wrong, bad, etc. If the alternatives that provide a higher level of safety are not options for you, then you have to do what you have to do. But that isn't the case for all people, hence the point of my post. To enlighten people who may just read "Don't buy your baby a seat because it absolutely must be nursed at takeoff and landing, not prior to the flight or at any other time." New parents read that and think that's the only option, which, for many people, is not true.

Of course nursing is great for a baby at any time, but like I said, there are other options for MOST people in a situation when it is safer to keep your baby restrained. So to say on a message board that this is the only alternative and therefore people shouldn't buy seats for their babies isn't the best advice. My point about med school is that if this were, in fact, the only alternative for a nursing baby on a flight, then it would be taught in medical school. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

No need to get rude. The pp said she can't pump so leave it at that. My god

 

[kpm76]

Of course nursing is great for a baby at any time, but like I said, there are other options for MOST people in a situation when it is safer to keep your baby restrained. So to say on a message board that this is the only alternative and therefore people shouldn't buy seats for their babies isn't the best advice. My point about med school is that if this were, in fact, the only alternative for a nursing baby on a flight, then it would be taught in medical school. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

This is getting ridiculous and after this I will not engage you any further. I had to clarify though because I never once said that nursing is the only alternative for all situations nor did I say people should not buy seats for their babies. In fact, I stated that we do buy a seat for DD, I just happen to take her out to nurse during various stages of the flight. Similarly, I never suggested that nursing a baby during take off and landing is the only alternative. It was the only alternative for me because I didn't bottle feed and didn't do pacis. To avoid potential ear problems, I took advice from trusted family and our ped.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I just wanted to say, I like pie...

 

[justhat]

This is getting ridiculous and after this I will not engage you any further. I had to clarify though because I never once said that nursing is the only alternative for all situations nor did I say people should not buy seats for their babies. In fact, I stated that we do buy a seat for DD, I just happen to take her out to nurse during various stages of the flight. Similarly, I never suggested that nursing a baby during take off and landing is the only alternative. It was the only alternative for me because I didn't bottle feed and didn't do pacis. To avoid potential ear problems, I took advice from trusted family and our ped.

No, you didn't say that, but earlier, maybe page 4, someone did. Said they would never buy a seat for their baby because they couldn't nurse it if they did. That was what my initial comment was in response to. So I gave alternatives as a mother who nursed both kids exclusively as infants and then to nearly 2yo. I was able to buy my babies seats to keep the safe, as well as nurse them and if the need arose for sucking/milk I handled that with the alternatives mentioned. Again, not everyone can do it, you specifically have made it clear that you cannot. But most people have either a bottle (whether it be pumped milk or supplemental formula) or pacifier as an option, and reading posts saying a baby must be nursed are very misleading to new parents.

 

[kevschickee]

I just wanted to say, I like pie...

What kind of pie

 

[LWatson]

What kind of pie

MMMM Pie....Anyone have a warm apple pie w/ whipped topping and a side of icecream they want to send this way?