Screaming bothering others?

[mbb]

Originally posted by saymama
... Someone once told me that mothers of autistic children find every senerio possible. It's true because I constantly have to figure out what's gonna set them off and if so what can be done about it.

We have to make plans for EVERY contingency...and then *somehow* find spontaneity in a moment...

We used the "Baby Swap" lots on our first trip when our sons were four...packed our picture cards with "Happy!" and "Horray!" and off we went...with two VERY vocal and VERY excited boys...

Didn't have to use them once
They were so enthralled with EVERYTHING...but did get overstimulated too...we packed snacks, blankies, sunglasses, and "got outa dodge" when things got really excited...and sometimes, it was after only an hour at the Parks...

and we had a great time..
we were out there,
as a family, doin' family stuff...
just like everyone else....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and their kids had their moments too...
But it was all magical...just like your vacation will be...

 

[saymama]

thanks, that meant alot. Do both of your boys have autism as well?

 

[3DisneyNUTS]

You know I am going to get flamed for this but we live in a world where people need to be more accepting of children with disablilities. The days are gone where the kids are sent off to "homes" (institutions). Kids no matter what their ability do better when they have a loving caring parent who will take them on vacations such as Disney world and allow them to have fun. So take him on the rides and allow him to enjoy himself. It will be no different then the parent 3 seats away at the muppets show whose 2 year old gets scared or the baby in the front row that is screaming to eat Or the child in the bugs life movie who is afraid of the bugs or the 50th temper tantrum you will see for no apparent reason as you stroll down Main Street. Better yet the people who are drinking a little too much riding the pirates ride carrying on like a pirate and we have all been around the family of 20 who think the own the ride or should I say the park....

So please, people have to have compassion and if someone says something so what, they are able bodied and can ride the ride again and trust me they will get over it. I don't think the kids will care that much it will just be some crotchety parent who will say something and have no regard for spoiling your magic with a rude comment.

So look forward to your trip and I hope you and your son's have a blast. As far as a suggestion I think you should hand out earplugs for those who complain with a little card explaining what autism is LOL but seriously a good treat may keep him occupied. Ask a cast member if you can bring in his favorite snack and that may keep him orally motivated and more attentive to the show rather than screaming. Just be prepared for the sugar rush later on LOL.

 

[dclfun]

As the mother of four non-autistic kids ( and one who has had several special needs foster children), trust me...they all can scream when happy or scared and all can have a meltdown. I think anyone can understand those kinds of scenarios and relate. I was thinking of a suggestion. You mentioned that your son likes to feel secure such as in a medical stroller. Do you think if you brought a lightweight blanket to wrap around him in the shows, it might signal comfort and security to him? Would that help at all? We used to swaddle one of our boys like that when he got overstimulated and just the physical contact ( or also being wrapped in our arms on our laps) would help- then we could whisper in his ear, smile to indicate he was safe, etc. An expression of joy, no matter how loud, always makes me smile vs. getting annoyed, so I guess it depends on what other's percieve. ---Kathy

 

[saymama]

Thanks thanks thanks so much for you responses. I never thought of a snack. He loves gummy fruit snacks. And I bet he would love a blanket. NOt to swaddle, he hates that, but to hide. Just yesterday I bought a stroller sunshade. it connects to the top of the canopy and give extra blockage on the sides and much more on the top. You can almost enclose him in the stoller from what I seen on some of the pictures.

I'm feeling much better about everything now. I'm willing to bet that if he screams it won't be the first or the last time it will happen. And you are right, it's bound to happen with ALL kids. As I said before I'm gonna take it one day at a time.

thanks!!!!!!!

 

[3DisneyNUTS]

Awww saymama just have fun Before my son was born (special needs as well) I was a children's photographer (still am actually on a part time basis) anyway it seemed that I had a knack with special needs kids and I always understood what the parents were going through (as much as I could). There are tons of people that will totally understand and will probably smile when they hear your son having a good time. I think anyone rude enough to complain to you is the one who should MYOB and they are really spoiling their own magic not you and your family KWIM? I cannot wait to hear your trip report Your kids DESERVE to have fun just like any typical kid and instead of people being rude they should appreciate what they have and be thankful they were not chosen to have a SN kid. Obviously they wouldn't be able to handle it if they get annoyed so easily but JMHO

 

[Ducky4Disney]

I think the best thing you could do is take me and my DH to Disney every time you go and we will stand with you in line! I promise we won't care what he does and if anyone says something, they can take it up with us! So when do we leave?

My mother is disabled (amputee) and we get a lot of comments. When she has her prosthetic leg on and we park in a handicapped spot, we get looks. It's no fun to wear a sign saying "THIS LEG IS FAKE AND I CAN'T WALK FAR", no one should have to wear thier life on thier sleeve. Take your wonderful family on a wonderful Disney vacation and have a wonderful time. It sounds like you all ready have a lot of great detours planned if things go amuck, but I don't think that will happen. Besides, when are you ever going to see these people again? And how many of us have had our whole Disney vacations ruined because one kid screamed a couple of times on the one ride you rode with them - NONE! Be concerned about your family, that's all you have influence over, don't be concerned about others, you can't effect them anyway.

So when are you going?
D4D

 

[saymama]

thanks. We are leaving in 22 days. We are driving 12 hours and will arrive at the Poly on May 23.

i think we should take you. I'll ignore all the stares and you can be our bodyguard and do it all for us!

The best news I got is that my insurance is covering 80% of our medical stoller. So I think they are ordering it today. I was gonna have to borrow one since we probably wouldn't have gotten in time for the trip. This is gonna be the best thing we've gotten for him. He's only 4, but has surpassed all the weight limits on every stoller on the market.

And I have to share this. He's a little Disney obsessed at the moment. He's hyperlexic, so he's been reading for a while now. Well, since he can read, he's writing now. He will write all the disney stuff that he sees. He draws lines for the castle at the beginning of the movies with the rainbow around it and then write walt disney pictures under it. Yesterday he started doing Jim Henson in cursive since he's watching bear. My boys bring me such great joy and I'm so proud of them, I just had to brag for a second. When he sees Disney on everything he's gonna flip. He will be so excited.

Fil payed for the last trip and is also paying for this one as well. He said the other day that we need to find another place to vacation. Its not the money, it's the driving there and he HATES to fly. Maybe in other couple of years we will go back and we'll treat him. I mean if this is what the kids want, who am I to deny them. My older son asked to go and he doesn't talk often, so he got it. I can't wait to see what happens when the little one starts talking and asks to go. I'm sure he'll get a trip too! Our motto at home is, if you can use your words, you can have it! Try to stay out of trouble with that one!

 

[3DisneyNUTS]

Originally posted by saymama
thanks. We are leaving in 22 days. We are driving 12 hours and will arrive at the Poly on May 23.

i think we should take you. I'll ignore all the stares and you can be our bodyguard and do it all for us!

The best news I got is that my insurance is covering 80% of our medical stoller. So I think they are ordering it today. I was gonna have to borrow one since we probably wouldn't have gotten in time for the trip. This is gonna be the best thing we've gotten for him. He's only 4, but has surpassed all the weight limits on every stoller on the market.

And I have to share this. He's a little Disney obsessed at the moment. He's hyperlexic, so he's been reading for a while now. Well, since he can read, he's writing now. He will write all the disney stuff that he sees. He draws lines for the castle at the beginning of the movies with the rainbow around it and then write walt disney pictures under it. Yesterday he started doing Jim Henson in cursive since he's watching bear. My boys bring me such great joy and I'm so proud of them, I just had to brag for a second. When he sees Disney on everything he's gonna flip. He will be so excited.

Fil payed for the last trip and is also paying for this one as well. He said the other day that we need to find another place to vacation. Its not the money, it's the driving there and he HATES to fly. Maybe in other couple of years we will go back and we'll treat him. I mean if this is what the kids want, who am I to deny them. My older son asked to go and he doesn't talk often, so he got it. I can't wait to see what happens when the little one starts talking and asks to go. I'm sure he'll get a trip too! Our motto at home is, if you can use your words, you can have it! Try to stay out of trouble with that one!

OMG you must be proud!! He is reading so well and cursive! I swear I will lose it once Chris starts to talk some more (speech delay). You must be so PROUD. Hey if you want we will tag along too LOL I maily can't handle my kid so if you want we can trade for a day since he is always better with anyone other than Mommy LOL. Just ask my SIL about our Old Navy trip today UGH!

Anyway Have fun and you guys have every right to enjoy your time there and I hope you don't think twice. Your obligation is to your family first

 

[SueM in MN]

looks like you got a lot of positive support and a lot of good suggestions.

I just wanted to mention that we were at WDW in March and noticed that there were few places that you could really call quiet. In most of the rides, the volume of the music is pretty loud and you can always hear kids ??disabled??? or ??? just excited 3 year old???
Most of the time, if the child sounded happy, people that I saw were smiling and just enjoying the total joy of someone else. If the screaming doesn't sound happy, I think that's when people have more problems with it.

One thing I thought about, since he can write, have you tried to substitute writing his feeling if he's really excited and loud? It may not work, but I have heard of some people being able to cut down screaming with substituting signing (once a child had some sign words - "Use your words").

 

[HopperFan]

We arrive on the 23rd too with a son who can't tolerate many levels of human noise. (Just in last two years after ear tumor).

We are looking to GAC to allow him to wait in quiet area. Last year in line a child screamed and there was instant panic in my son to get out of that line. At 20 it was hard to stop his exit and poor DH took the force. Maybe we should wait in line together, I would understand your son and maybe my son will get used to noises again : )

Bottom line, we all have to do what is best for our children to have an enjoyable visit, for us parents to have an enjoyable vacation and to be aware that the people around us may not understand. I am fortunate that you can tell immediately my son is disabled and I surely feel for you.

COMFORT for him is key. People gave you great suggestions. Why don't you take a sketch pad and color pencils for him to keep in busy when he is waiting. What a wonderful keepsake to have pictures he drew of things he saw. I would treasure something like that. We have adapted to our situation with headphones with his music (Disney of course) helps to drown out human noise in uncomfortable situations. Some places he just can't go in anymore. And we watch for what may upset him. Now if you say it is a happy squeal, I would much rather hear that than the screaming baby or temper tantrum. Squeals of excitement are always welcome.

I really wouldn't worry about the rides once moving, just try to avoid some of their lines that may be difficult. HM if you enter disabled entrance then you skip the stretch room. Once on the cars, the sounds come in through speakers at your ears, so everyone around you probably won't hear him. The shows, ask for handicapped seating, then you will be around compassionate people. We have even split up when only one person could sit with him.

You can't get upset with others!!! just ignore them and show that you are doing your best to make this a magical experience for all. Even with a handicapped child, I am not tolerant of rude and ill-behaved children. Now if someone says tells me they have issues, then that is a different story. It doesn't hurt to apologize to people if you think he is too loud at that moment, and explain your son is handicapped. There are things my son does that we are accepting of, but I still will apologize because it may not be "socially appropriate" in some situations. Most people will count their blessings and appreciate the life you live and all your hard work.

Have a magical trip !

 

[phillybeth]

Personaly I would not be bothered. DH on the other hand is extremely sensitive to loud high-pitched noises (and other things too, he's probably got some SI issues but that's besides the point). However, DH is very understanding of special-needs kids so you wouldn't get any dirty looks from him!
I find that things that would really tick me off at home aren't even on the radar at WDW- think it's something they put in the water?

 

[goofyandmore]

Please, please, please go and enjoy yourselves..everyone of you including your son! I have 3 children 15, 10, and my 6 year old daughter who has a brain injury from birth. She looks very cute as your son does but is very delayed.

My daughter makes loud happy sounds when she is excited at seeing Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, etc. You called your son's sounds screams but I bet they are like my daughter's in that they are loud, fluctuating happy sounds that are similar to what an older baby or toddler might do. When babies or toddler's do this, I don't look at them in any upset fashion and I wouldn't think that it would ruin my time at pirates of the caribbean. The music is loud enough and the boats are spaced enough that it will not be like yelling into someone's ear. These are happy sounds so I think people may be misunderstanding what the sounds are like.

In any event, one thing I regret is that on my last trip in March-April, I worried too much about what others would think. Toward the end of the trip, I had things better in hand and I enjoyed the beach at the poly and being at Magic Kingdom much better.

I don't worry about when my daughter makes the happy sounds, it is when she is upset and yells that I worry about so for those moments I bring lolly pops or a sensory toy to get a quick cheer up or occupy her.

If you would like to email me directly, please do: aigjr@aol.com

Good luck and be happy, Carolyn from NJ

 

[mommie2angels]

This is one of the many reasons we love Disney. Ya'll have been very supportive and encouraging. It's people like you that help make the Disney magic when we run into ya'll.

Like many have said enjoy the Disney magic. Let your son enjoy his trip just like he should. We have two special needs daughters. DD#1 sings (no words only sounds) when she is excited. She can get loud at times. She is in a wheelchair and has multiple disabilities. DD#2 has seizures everyday. It's not unusual for us to have to stop somewhere to help her through her seizure. With lots of them she screams very loud like she is in pain. People do stare and several have stop to see why we can't stop her from screaming. As soon as her seizure is over she stops screaming. Meanwhile there is nothing we can do. As Sue said there are very few places you can go that are quiet. We do try to get over to the side or in out of the way places when this happens.

DD#2 is also an amputee due to cancer. She doesn't have a prothesis for multiple reasons so we get lots of stares. All in all each of our trips have been filled with magical moments. We over look the other moments. The good ones always outweigh the few bad ones. Have a very magical trip!!!

 

[saymama]

Thanks, bless you and your sweet angels.

I think we are getting a stoller just like yours. Maybe the basic. Your's looks like a scout. Not sure. I can't wait to get it in.

 

[pumpkinboy]

Funny, I was looking at the other chair. Is that a pink Zippie? My DS's is "midnight purple" and we paid extra for the blue and gold accent splashes (really they are waaaay cool, and DS is very chair-proud).

Our DS is 6, non-verbal, and also vocalizes at sometimes inappropriate times (tho usually in tune, interestingly ). And I am also familiar with the stares we sometimes get from folks, tho a broad smile with eye-contact usually puts everyone at ease. When kids are looking really interested (or even a little scared) I will often introduce my DS, saying:
"Hi, this is Caleb. He is 6 and in kindergarten. How old are you?. He really likes music, computer games and cartoons where people fall down. Do you like any of those things? He can't talk like you can, but he understands and can answer questions. If he looks at you it means yes, and away means no..."
I think this really helps kids who don't know any other disabled children and are a bit scared. It makes him into a person, rather than a curiousity.

Wow, I am rambling here; and moving off topic. Sorry about that.

 

[mbb]

Originally posted by saymama
thanks, that meant alot. Do both of your boys have autism as well?

Glad it helped

And yes, they do... hyperlexic as well...and DISNEY OBSESSED too!!

"Nizdee" (Disney!!) was one of their FIRST words...

and they are 6 years old, in kindergarten and succeeding in ways we never imagined...they amaze us every day.

So, although this wasn't a "parent journey" wasn't the one we thought we would be on - we wouldn't trade it for any other...

because at the end of the day, regardless of the words/labels that are attached to a very small part of them - we just have two little boys who just need to feel loved and respected for the fabulous people they are...and are continuing to grow to be...

 

[RickinNYC]

Sure, some guests may get upset. Others may get angry. Some will complain. Even more will glare. A few will tell you to stifle him. Still more will be out and out rude and may very well yell at you for ruining their experience.

The truth is, there's no way anyone will ever know why your son is screaming. There's no way to let them know unless everyone in your party is wearing bright t-shirts with explanations emblazoned across the chest and back, while waving a flag and carrying a huge sign. There's no way to insure that everyone will know. It's that simple. You know that for certain.

Should you avoid rides? Heck no. If a guest's experience was truly ruined, they can always go again. I think it's a good idea to sit near an exit during the stage shows, movies, etc... But not go on the rides? It's kind of you to think of others, but think of your son. He's going to love them!

And hey, come with my partner and I this September/October and I'll scream in sheer joy and happiness right along with your son!

I hope you have a great trip and your son has loud and wonderful and very magical vacation.

 

[saymama]

rick, thanks, I needed that!!!!! We will have tons of fun. I'm sure. As each day passes I get more and more excited and less and less apprehensive. This will be the most magical trip ever!

 

[mommie2angels]

Rick, once again I have to tell you that you are amazing! I think you spend more time helping to make other people's trips magical than worrying about your own.