School for a child with a "late" birthday?

[RadioFanatic]

Not sure if DS would be considered a late or early birthday. Anyway, it's in February, which means he won't be able to start school until 5 years, 7 months. I'm worried about this bc he is advanced for his age (he is 2 and a 1/2 today exactly) and I really wish there was a way to get him in earlier. We are doing preschool (he's in daycare now), but even that will make him older than other kids. He already can count to 20, say his A,B,C's, knows his colors, right/left, etc. so I already see signs of boredom in daycare.

Any suggestions or life experiences to share?

 

[maddiesmom0116]

Not sure if DS would be considered a late or early birthday. Anyway, it's in February, which means he won't be able to start school until 5 years, 7 months. I'm worried about this bc he is advanced for his age (he is 2 and a 1/2 today exactly) and I really wish there was a way to get him in earlier. We are doing preschool (he's in daycare now), but even that will make him older than other kids. He already can count to 20, say his A,B,C's, knows his colors, right/left, etc. so I already see signs of boredom in daycare.

Any suggestions or life experiences to share?

My DD6 didn't start Kindergarten until she was 5 years and 8 months, she has a January birthday. That is pretty middle of the pack around here, kids turning 5 after August 1st cannot start Kindergarten to the following year where I live.

I also taught my DD plenty of things prior to Kindergarten. She new her letters, numbers, basic addition and how to read a little, and had advanced phonics skills as well. The issue I had was she was far advanced for kindergarten and was bored out of her mind until about Christmas. She hated school until around then because she was bored. This was a private school and my best friends daughter was in public school and they were much farther behind then that.
I had some regrets last year because it caused a lot of problems at school. The teachers finally gave up trying to get her to pay attention to them while teaching letters and phonics and let her go read books on her own. She is already a quiet kid even with 3 years of preschool, so it didn't help her socially.

You know what is best for your little one, but I thought I would share my experience with you in case it helps.

 

[sritter78]

My daughter has an August birthday, so she misses the cut-off by 20 days. She will turn 6 on the first or second day of kindergarten. She is more than ready to go, but my only option is to pay and send her to a private school. DH and I are both teachers, so not an option.

So, if you want to look into private schools you could go that route. Check your state laws.

 

[Sadie22]

Eldest DS was always one of the oldest in his classes and excelled academically all the way through. Teachers often advise, specifically with boys more often than with girls, that it is best for them to be older rather than younger when starting kindergarten. It's not just the academics but the ability to sit still, follow directions, take turns, and so on. Nowadays when so many schoool systems are moving to full day kindergarten it's even more important that the students be mature enough to handle this. Teachers have also told me they wish parents would spend less time trying to teach academic skills at home and instead let the children play. When I assisted in the classrooms especially in kindergarten I could easily see differences in maturity levels between students. Our public school system had Talented and Gifted classes and enrichment activities and my children were involved in music, sports, and scouts so they were not bored.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

We had this problem with my son. He has a Dec. 12 birthday, and the cut off date here is Dec 1st. So he was one of the older kids in class. Some others were older because the parents had held them out for a year. It is very common now for kids to start K at 6 years old.

Anyway, my son was bored in preschool, and bored in K and 1st. I supplemented his education at home because he wanted to learn. He wasn't learning in school! He kept getting further ahead. So we ended up having him skip 2nd grade. It was the best thing we ever did. He is the youngest now, but he fits in great with the kids in his grade. He is going to 5th this fall. He is still at the top of his class for grades, and he still does extra work at home.

I don't think this would work with all kids, but my son is very mature for his age. His best friends are all older than he is.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Eldest DS was always one of the oldest in his classes and excelled academically all the way through. Teachers often advise, specifically with boys more often than with girls, that it is best for them to be older rather than younger when starting kindergarten. It's not just the academics but the ability to sit still, follow directions, take turns, and so on. Nowadays when so many schoool systems are moving to full day kindergarten it's even more important that the students be mature enough to handle this. Teachers have also told me they wish parents would spend less time trying to teach academic skills at home and instead let the children play. When I assisted in the classrooms especially in kindergarten I could easily see differences in maturity levels between students. Our public school system had Talented and Gifted classes and enrichment activities and my children were involved in music, sports, and scouts so they were not bored.

To the bolded part- I can't agree with this. A parent is a child's first and most important teacher. Why would there be anything wrong with education? There is plenty of time in the day for kids to learn academic skills and play. It isn't either one or the other. My kids play, do chores, and spend time learning. It's all about balance. There are so many things kids can learn, and there isn't time to learn it all in school. My kids are involved in sports and scouts too. How is that going to keep them from being bored in the classroom?

 

[southern_redhead]

I can't say I see 7 months as a problem. There will likely be quite a few 6 year olds there as well. At our school we see a range, we have them from coming in at 4 and turning 5 at the "last possible second" to already being six when they come in. Our kindergarten teachers all agree that the older the child the better, especially with boys. I wish I'd held my oldest DS out a year (he was 5 yrs, 2 months when he started) but at 11 he is 5'2 and 120 lbs so I know he would've been HUGE compared to the other kids. My DD was even younger (5 yrs 3 wks) and she did great. She is very mature, though, typical middle child LOL She is also very tall for her age so holding her out would've put her, literally, head and shoulders above her peers. I realize size isn't everything but since kids can be cruel I didn't want mine to be picked on for being bigger (funny because I was always tiny, am only 5'4 now and DH is only 6 ft......)

My youngest DS, well he'll be SEVEN in kindergarten. He is very small and immature. We have had in him a special preschool class for three years and that has really helped him but he is still where (I think) a young kindergartner would be. He could have started last year as he was already five but I held him out one more year because of his size and maturity. He will turn 7 in November. None of his buddies realize it, we don't publicize it but even if we did I'm not sure at this age they would realize how much older he is. I do worry about later, when he can drive as a freshman LOL or when his friends ask if he "failed" (though since he did preschool with so many of them and is moving to Kindergarten with them I can't see them thinking this.) Anyway, long story short, I wouldn't worry about 7 months. That should put your child right in the middle of the age ranges.

 

[halikatak]

My daughter misses the cutoff by 4 days. 4. So I've been struggling with this as well. Every parent and teacher that I've talked to said that nobody has ever regretted having them start later, but there are always some regrets with starting them sooner. I'm always told that you don't want the youngest kid in your class. When a child knows that they aren't doing as well as the others then they can develop low self esteem about it and not do well in school.

Most of the time with boys it is that they are not emotionally ready. They may be ahead with numbers, letters, etc. - at least that's what a few teacher friends have told me.

So there's that.

ETA: Obviously there are exceptions like anything else.

 

[Debbie7452]

I understand where you're coming from. I have a DD who was reading chapter books in K. I didn't force her or anything, she taught herself to read and was starting to write when she was 3. She went to public K on the regular schedule. The K teachers are used to dealing with kids of a wide range of abilities, even the super advanced ones. My daughter's teacher was very flexible and accomodating... she was given special reading time pull-outs with another child like herself. It all worked out fine!

In my DD's case she learned social skills and matured emotionally a great deal during that year. Her teacher told me she didn't think she had really "taught" her anything academically the whole year...but it was still a very useful experience in our case.

She is a junior in HS now and still at the top of her class(she just took an SAT prep class given by her HS and almost scored a perfect score). We toyed with the idea of skipping first grade (suggested by her teacher) but we decided not to. I'm glad we didn't skip ahead...she looks young for her age, even now, and it would have been painful for her!

 

[ddoconnell]

I have a unique situation in that I have a son that was one of the oldest in his class and daughter that is one of the youngest. My son has a late Sept birthday so in our state he had to wait to start kindergarten. He too worked on his academics at home and was more than ready for kindergarten ....academically. Maturity wise he was just on track. He was all boy, and just wanted to play around so the waiting a year is what was best for him.

My daughter plays catchup the 2nd half of the year every year. But it is due to her maturity. Academically her grades are always good....but she will struggle to stay organized the 1st half and then cruise the 2nd half. We asked about keeping her back when she was starting kindergarten, but she tested off the charts so no way.

I don't regret the decisions I made for either one. Long story short, you know your child best, but being the youngest in kindergarten is much different than being the youngest in high school! All of those milestones come later when you are the youngest....driving, dating, etc. My daughter won't turn 18 till 2 months after she graduates! Just something to keep in mind. Good luck with your decision!

 

[mjkacmom]

Ah, the first child... Not being snarky, I was there, too. I admit I was the parent who asked for extra work for dd14 when she was in kindy, because she was reading well. Most of the other kids were probably as well. By the time I got to my third, I actually refused extra work (she was reading hard chapter books in kindy). She wasn't bored - she liked helping out other kids, and all of the social aspect of school. All of my kids knew their letters, numbers, shapes, colors, simple addition, etc., before preschool. They all read before kindergarten.

It's been my experience that all kids catch up and are close to the same level by 3rd or 4th grade. Sure, my kids tested into the GT program, but I don't think they're gifted - bright, yes, like a lot of other kids who are lucky to have parents who value education.

Unless a child is reading Homer and doing calculus in kindergarten, they are fine where they are.

 

[DrMomof3]

My son has a February birthday and was the 4th oldest in his kindergarten class. Although he was one of the few kids in his class who could read at the beginning of the year, he was in a perfect place socially. I'm so glad he was one of the older kids! His teacher was wonderful and would have him help the other kids with reading and stuff.
My daughter is a January birthday and is just starting pre-K. She can almost read (she reads "sight words") and will definitely be reading by K. She's very tall and very mature. We asked about "putting her ahead" and were told no. Her preschool teacher said that by middle school we will be very, very glad that she has every advantage possible. We're in a very competitive school district so I can definitely see her point.
There are clearly social advantages to having the kids with same-aged children. The trend in many places to towards holding kids back. I'm happy that my kids are amongst the older ones!

Amanda

 

[judypriv]

Here the cut off date is October 1st. My son's birthday is October 6th and my daughter is September 14th so according to the public school here they will be in the same class. I have tried to see about getting my son in "early" since he misses by 6 days but the only option I was given was to hold my daughter back or place her in a different kindergarten class so we're really torn. My son is also one of the advanced kids and he goes to preschool where he is already bored. His teacher says he knows everything already. I have a brother just like him who was always smart and bored and way ahead of everyone so he would get into mischief. I really believe he would do better by going sooner (we're talking 6 days!) then later.

What about my girl? Do I hold her back due to his 6 days or send them together which I have been told repeatedly is a bad idea. Everyone I spoke to believes they should be in different grades so they will not be compared. My daughter is very advanced as well and it seems a shame to hold her back when she makes the cut off by 16 days.

My only option is Catholic school where they told me they MIGHT let him past the 6 days if we have a study done on him ($ 873.00 a month for both) or the private school ($ 914.00) for both which we really can't afford.

PS - I like this banana

 

[Sparkleshine]

The way I look at it is once they start school that is their new path! I wanted to enjoy my school free child as long as possible!! No dealing with teachers/school for family vacations. Once they start school that's it - it will always be school and work for them until they retire. Enjoy one more free year!!

Signed: Mom of a 5 year 9 month old that just started kindergarten last week (that can already read and count to 100).

 

[TxRabbit]

Here in TX...

The cut off Sept 1.

My DS has a January birthday. I'm thinking he'll be smack in the middle of the pack, right? Um. Yeah. NO!

Many boys with May to Auguest birthdays were held back and started K at age 6. In DS's class, he is the oldest of the bottom third, if that makes sense. The oldest were born in May and coincidentally, the youngest was born in May too. His parents didn't hold him back. So the same class has kids that are a full year apart. Interestingly enough, they all do great. DS is headed for 4th grade this year. It's all good.

I think you're overthinking and should just go with the flow. It'll all be fine.

 

[taitai]

My sons all have late birthdays and all are amongst the oldest in their classes. I had one guy who was reading Harry Potter in pre-school. I have a brilliant husband and fortunately they got his genes. Anyway, we had this conversation as well. In the end, we were making a decision not so much for kindergarten but for high school. Being the youngest kid in the class in K isn't that big of a deal. In high school it is. So, you need to think further than the next year or two to the longer term implications of this decision.

Good luck!

 

[foltzy]

I'm really nervous about this too. DD starts Kindergarten this year at 5 yrs 6 months. At 2 she knew her colors and shapes. She started writing at the age of 3, Started reading 1 week before her 4th birthday. Does addition, subtraction and multiplication problems. She did preschool but they learned through play and she wanted to learn. We're so afraid she's going to be bored in Kindergarten. Her preschool teacher told me that the teacher she has will work with her and make sure she's not bored. We really hope that's the case.

 

[crisi]

We have two bright kids who are among the oldest in their class. I was a bright kid who was the youngest. Age and maturity in high school are far more important than being able to count to 20 at 2 1/2 and knowing your ABCs.

 

[ShellyShellfish]

Wow, here in NY the cutoff is December 1st...and both of my children have October birthdays. DS was in a 2 year old preschool program and will start the 3 year old program in September. Then it's off to Universal Pre-K for a year and Kindy after that. He will be 4 years 11 months old when it starts. So definitely one of the youngest, but we feel after preschool and UPK he will be MORE than ready. He's already pretty "with it" and seems to be at or ahead of his peers academically and especially socially.

Just to add - I too have an October birthday so I started school at age 4 years 11 months and I feel I turned out just fine. It really wasn't a big deal in HS when friends were driving a couple months before me. It's called patience, everyone will get a chance to drive/date/etc.

 

[crisi]

Just to add - I too have an October birthday so I started school at age 4 years 11 months and I feel I turned out just fine. It really wasn't a big deal in HS when friends were driving a couple months before me. It's called patience, everyone will get a chance to drive/date/etc.

I transferred schools and states between elementary and high school so went from being young to being really young. I graduated from high school at 16. So my friends were all driving two or three years before I was. Moreover, I hit puberty late, so I was a sixteen year old high school senior who looked eleven. I wouldn't take those risks with my kids, not when the downside is being a year older when they leave high school. They have plenty of time to grow up.

BTW, I was still bored in high school. The thing about bright kids is that schools have a hard time keeping up with the really bright ones - simply moving them ahead is seldom sufficient as a long term strategy. I was pulled from the regular classroom for hours every day. Yeah, that made me popular with my peers......