School field trip, bathing suit guidelines

[JanaDee]

I've never even seen anything inappropriate on girls that age at our beaches. (Shorts, on the other hand are out of control!)

As the mom to a 14 year old that wears shorts shorter than I'd like, I've found there isn't a whole lot of choices in between a 2 inch inseam and capris.

 

[mnrose]

As the mom to a 14 year old that wears shorts shorter than I'd like, I've found there isn't a whole lot of choices in between a 2 inch inseam and capris.

True. It's so hard to find shorts of the appropriate length without having them look matronly (ala Lands End). Why can't there be cute shorts with a 5 inch inseam? Sigh.

 

[Dawnlight]

As the mom to a 14 year old that wears shorts shorter than I'd like, I've found there isn't a whole lot of choices in between a 2 inch inseam and capris.

That's very true. My girls mainly wear skirt and dresses, but do wear shorts and capris in the summer and on weekends. It's so difficult to find appropriate clothing for them (9 years old, but wear 12). I end up finding things on ebay or thrift stores that are suitable, as many of the more modest options- Hanna Andersson, Lands' End- are too pricey. Even some of the regular brands that used to have modest options, Gymboree for example, have switched over to short shorts. It seems the only shorts that have more length are khaki and navy blue- school uniform colors.

This blog post hits it on the head:

http://binkiesandbriefcases.com/target-intervention-behalf-daughters/

 

[kamik86]

Nope. Dress codes aren't "new" at all. When I was in grade school (admittedly in the dark ages...LOL), girls HAD to wear a dress to school. No pants permitted. This was in Minnesota. And, included the winter time. In the winter, we wore pants under our dress until we got to school, and then we had to take the pants off. SMH. My parents wouldn't dream of questioning the dress code. They complied. Easy.

I have ZERO problems with reasonable dress codes. The only reason they are necessary is because there ARE trashy parents out there who think it's fine to have their "snowflake" where a t-shirt with swear words on them, or shorts that have their **** hanging out. Dress appropriately for school and there's no problem.

My D does have some issues with the "fingertip" rule for dresses. She is quite tall, and dresses simply aren't sized for girls who have as much leg as her. Still, she CAN find things that are appropriate, and the other dresses can be worn other places. (BTW, she always wears bootie shorts under her dress, which seems to be the custom at least in her school).

The fingertip rule is very stupid. I have relatively short arms so could get away with pretty short shorts and dresses... I was recently discussing this with a coworker and for her its even worse... Lets just "boyshort" style underwear would practically be long enough in her case.

In middle school when most kids are out of proportion even worse then as adults some kids would have to wear board shorts while others are in very skimpy clothes.

 

[JanaDee]

That's very true. My girls mainly wear skirt and dresses, but do wear shorts and capris in the summer and on weekends. It's so difficult to find appropriate clothing for them (9 years old, but wear 12). I end up finding things on ebay or thrift stores that are suitable, as many of the more modest options- Hanna Andersson, Lands' End- are too pricey. Even some of the regular brands that used to have modest options, Gymboree for example, have switched over to short shorts. It seems the only shorts that have more length are khaki and navy blue- school uniform colors.

This blog post hits it on the head:

http://binkiesandbriefcases.com/target-intervention-behalf-daughters/

I've been saying the same thing about girls clothing for the last 10 years. Clothing is one extreme or the other, nothing in the middle, which I would guess is where most girls (and their parents) fall.

 

[sam_gordon]

The fingertip rule is very stupid. I have relatively short arms so could get away with pretty short shorts and dresses... I was recently discussing this with a coworker and for her its even worse... Lets just "boyshort" style underwear would practically be long enough in her case.

In middle school when most kids are out of proportion even worse then as adults some kids would have to wear board shorts while others are in very skimpy clothes.

I like the fingertip rule better than DD's HS "flamingo" rule. They need to stand on one foot with the other leg bent at 90 degrees. The bottom of the shorts/skirt need to touch the calf.

 

[scrapquitler]

I guess the broader issue that I don't understand is, why does it seem that people are so prone to question school rules these days?

I sure wasn't aware of any debate over rules when I was in public school*.

My kids went to private school, and that is a little different. Private schools generally have some clause in their admission contracts that if you don't like their rules, you are free to enroll your child elsewhere. So there was never any debate.


*Okay, I do remember in elementary school a line of angry moms outside the Principals office on a Friday morning , when the school lunch menu said they were serving hamburgers instead of the usual fish, or macaroni and cheese. It was a misprint, they WERE serving a non-meat entree, but as a non-Catholic , it was lost on me. And it was before Vatican II. I gather that would no longer be an issue, although I do know a few Catholics born decades after Vatican II that still don't eat meat on Friday.

I don't remember any debates about rules when I was in public school either.

But comparing when I was in school and now, there are a TON more rules covering every little thing now than we ever had. We didn't have multi-page long attendance policies, we didn't even HAVE a written dress code. There weren't rules about what kind of backpack you could carry and what kind of cover you had to have on your books and what kind of pencil you had to bring to school on the first day. We didn't have to sign permission slips before a movie was watched in class. There weren't rules about what kind of lunch box you should carry and what should be in it.

Parents used common sense, teachers applied common sense, problems were handled as necessary without any media attention and stupid blanket zero tolerance policies.

 

[robinb]

As the mom to a 14 year old that wears shorts shorter than I'd like, I've found there isn't a whole lot of choices in between a 2 inch inseam and capris.

Aero has their "midi" line of shorts with a 3 1/2" inseam.

 

[mnrose]

I don't remember any debates about rules when I was in public school either.

But comparing when I was in school and now, there are a TON more rules covering every little thing now than we ever had. We didn't have multi-page long attendance policies, we didn't even HAVE a written dress code. There weren't rules about what kind of backpack you could carry and what kind of cover you had to have on your books and what kind of pencil you had to bring to school on the first day. We didn't have to sign permission slips before a movie was watched in class. There weren't rules about what kind of lunch box you should carry and what should be in it.

Parents used common sense, teachers applied common sense, problems were handled as necessary without any media attention and stupid blanket zero tolerance policies.

And, all the written rules came into place because some parents probably complained that their snowflake/child wasn't being treated fairly. Or, their snowflake/child could do something because "there is no rule saying they can't." Which forced schools into the position of making rules. And, now parents complain that there are "too many rules." LOL.

 

[smiths02]

Guess what people? Once their hormones kick in girls and boys start to see each other as sexual beings even if there's not an inch of skin showing. Maybe we should be teaching our children how to deal with all of those confusing new feelings instead of trying to make them feel ashamed of those feelings or their bodies.

I agree. I don't want to shame women's bodies, but I don't think that having a dress code necessarily shames women or prevents us from teaching people to respect women.

I think that some dress code ridiculousness is based upon sexist and asinine things...distraction, keeping women covered, etc. BUT some stupid dress code rules are based on people not having common sense. For example, tank tops are allowed, then Jane comes to school in lingerie camisole with her breasts hanging out. School can't say anything to her because tank tops are allowed (but this isn't a tank top, it is a lingerie camisole). Now tank tops are no longer allowed.

There is some middle ground between anarchy and a 10-page dress code.

And you think parents would have common sense, but they don't. Also, kids change clothes after they leave the house.

 

[Dawnlight]

And, all the written rules came into place because some parents probably complained that their snowflake/child wasn't being treated fairly. Or, their snowflake/child could do something because "there is no rule saying they can't." Which forced schools into the position of making rules. And, now parents complain that there are "too many rules." LOL.

That's part of it, I'm sure, but the other side is that school administration feel it's easier to make a blanket rule to cover everyone instead of dealing with the problem student and parent.

I see this collective punishment often when it comes to my kids in the public school. One kid acts up on the bus (even though there are plenty of rules and consequences in the handbook) and instead of dealing with that one jerky kid (and perhaps jerky parent/s), the school punishes the entire bus load of kids by making them sit in assigned seats.

I would much rather the school deal with problem students and parents one-on-one instead of being punitive to everyone.

 

[kamik86]

The main problem is the schools wanting everything to be so black and white that they don't have to think about anything anymore.

This was just starting when I was in school as they started stupid "zero tolerance policies".

If your in school and another student punches you, you get suspended with the same punishment if you punch back (this was started while I was in middle school). So you either have to take being beaten up until a teacher finally gets there and stops it or you get the same punishment as the one that started the violence. It used to be that things like what instigated the fight, if it was self defense, etc were taken into account.

Heck as an adult if I get into an altercation with someone and they were to throw a punch I can fight back and not be arrested.

You have a zero tolerance policy against weapons and someone is suspended for a toy lego gun because its a gun... Doesn't matter that the text book the school issued would do more damage in a fight. This was even stupider in my high school when they started their zero tolerance against weapons. The students that used to carry a pocket knife (most people in our area do... they are useful at times) couldn't anymore becasue it may be used in a fight. The issue? Our school was FULL of much more dangerous items it was a technical school so the culinary students were in a kitchen full of blades most of the day. We had some saws and drill bits as well as soldering irons at a few hundred degrees... The automative and carpentry shops had all their tools... The business department was probably the only one without weapons in it. So why send all the pocket knives home?

 

[pryncess527]

Having questioned authority a few times myself, I agree questioning authority can be healthy....but IMHO fighting restrictions on a bathing suit just doesn't rise to the same level as disagreements over curriculum, safety, things like that. Just seems petty.

I can see how some might see it as petty, but I disagree. I have seen harm come from the way that adults sexualize children earlier than necessary, and from the way that some adults speak to impressionable young women who are struggling with body issues about their clothing choices. The particular directive given by this school may not have been flat out offensive as others I have seen, but it is so vague as to be completely unhelpful. I applaud efforts to get everyone, particularly school administrators, to give some thought about how the establishment and enforcement of dress codes impacts how growing children see themselves and their bodies. I consider it a very important issue, and not in the least bit petty.

 

[pryncess527]

My son had a brief issue in High School with a teacher of his first class after lunch. She kept sending him to the attendance office to buy a razor and shave cream because by 1 pm......and because he inherited my dense facial hair gene......he didn't look clean shaven.

I can not think of anything more petty than school forcing a teenage boy to be clean shaven. Why on earth do they care? Are beards also distracting?

 

[luvsJack]

I don't remember any debates about rules when I was in public school either.

But comparing when I was in school and now, there are a TON more rules covering every little thing now than we ever had. We didn't have multi-page long attendance policies, we didn't even HAVE a written dress code. There weren't rules about what kind of backpack you could carry and what kind of cover you had to have on your books and what kind of pencil you had to bring to school on the first day. We didn't have to sign permission slips before a movie was watched in class. There weren't rules about what kind of lunch box you should carry and what should be in it.

Parents used common sense, teachers applied common sense, problems were handled as necessary without any media attention and stupid blanket zero tolerance policies.

I think the key word in your post is "common sense".

Middle school/high school is when parents seem to lose that. They think that whatever rag their child wants to throw on should be ok.



On the "fingertip" rule. For our schools, the dress code actually states that the shorts should reach their fingertips or at the digression of the teacher/principal. A girl with long legs or whatever makes it hard to get them long enough can show her shorts to the principal and be approved for the length she has. OTOH, if a girl's fingertip length makes it possible to wear short shorts, the principal can make the opposite determination so some common sense can be used.

 

[Mkrop]

I can not think of anything more petty than school forcing a teenage boy to be clean shaven. Why on earth do they care? Are beards also distracting?

This pretty common in private/Catholic schools, it is not a big deal. DS17 shaves everyday. They have the same rule in the military I believe.

And my kids have had assigned bus seats all throughout grade school, K-8 school, it was not a big deal either. They sat by grade so they were still with their friends. Neither of my kids have/had an issue with it.

 

[luvsJack]

Did some of you attend schools with no dress code? I really don't see the one's now as any different than in year's past, they just focus on different things.

When my sister was in school, she had to wear a dress/skirt and it had to touch the top of her knee cap. They did not care how long your legs were or how short you were or anything else as long as the skirt touched the top of the knee cap. And her bangs could not come below the middle of her eye brows. And they took time every day to inspect skirts and bangs. The guys hair could not go below the collar or below the top of the ear. She graduated in 1969.

When I was in school. guys couldn't wear earrings, their hair could not go below their ear (see they did loosen it up some). We couldn't wear anything with vulgar sayings or advertising alcohol or cigarettes. No holes and jeans, no hip hugger jeans, no shorts at all. I graduated in 81.

My sons graduated in 2000 and 2002. Their dress code was possibly the easiest going of them all but it was the way the kids dressed then that prompted the school to have the dress codes they have now. (and our middle school and high schools have the same dress code adopted at the same time). But they did have to be completely clean shaven. They were sent home to shave or they could use a razor the school provided. They had to wear a belt and if they didn't, one was provided or they could go home and get one.

As much as it is said on here that we should be preparing our children for the "real world", I am surprised at those that do not like dress codes. Are you not expected to dress a certain way for work?

 

[aprilgail]

I respectfully disagree. They are only regulating what is happening at the school.

My daughters school sent home a letter saying that the kids should not have peanut butter for breakfast AT HOME because of kids with a peanut allergy at school. When it is testing time they send home a letter saying to have the kids in bed by 9pm and to eat a healthy breakfast consisting of ...and a list.... the oddest part of that whole thing is the peanut thing, because we are not a peanut free school, kids have it for lunch in school!

Did some of you attend schools with no dress code? I really don't see the one's now as any different than in year's past, they just focus on different things
When I was in school. guys couldn't wear earrings, their hair could not go below their ear (see they did loosen it up some). We couldn't wear anything with vulgar sayings or advertising alcohol or cigarettes. No holes and jeans, no hip hugger jeans, no shorts at all. I graduated in 81.

As much as it is said on here that we should be preparing our children for the "real world", I am surprised at those that do not like dress codes. Are you not expected to dress a certain way for work?

I graduated in 1981 and don't recall any type of dress code- I wore ripped up jeans every day so that was certainly not banned, I remember sewing patches on the back pockets, like the Rolling Stones tongue, even a patch of a pot leaf and that was not an issue back then.

 

[Saimaeve]

I graduated in 1981 and don't recall any type of dress code- I wore ripped up jeans every day so that was certainly not banned, I remember sewing patches on the back pockets, like the Rolling Stones tongue, even a patch of a pot leaf and that was not an issue back then.

This is completely off topic, but your post reminded me of my dad. When he was a teenager, (Probably late 60's early 70's) he had this jacket with a huge pot leaf on the back. One night, my grandmother who was a nurse at the local hospital was running late for work and was cold so she grabbed the nearest jacket to the door and put it on. She had nooo idea what it was and thought it was a really pretty flower. So she wore it several times after that. One day she was called into the hospital's admin office as a few other nurses had questioned her jacket. So she found out exactly what it was.

Needless to say I'm pretty sure my father is still grounded for that.

 

[aprilgail]

This is completely off topic, but your post reminded me of my dad. When he was a teenager, (Probably late 60's early 70's) he had this jacket with a huge pot leaf on the back. One night, my grandmother who was a nurse at the local hospital was running late for work and was cold so she grabbed the nearest jacket to the door and put it on. She had nooo idea what it was and thought it was a really pretty flower. So she wore it several times after that. One day she was called into the hospital's admin office as a few other nurses had questioned her jacket. So she found out exactly what it was.

Needless to say I'm pretty sure my father is still grounded for that.

LOL- that is to funny. It was nothing in the 70's to have a roach clip hanging from your ear, hat, pants and for sure your rear view mirror!