School District/Gifted kids

[mefordis]

LOVE your post!

Very wise comment.

Schools on Long Island and in NJ offer some pretty amazing GT programs, but our oldest son asked out of them a few years ago and we agreed. First, they piled on additional work. Second, the kids in the program were not the type that he naturally gravitated toward. Finally, he wanted to spend more time with his music than the GT schedule allowed.

Our son continues to reach his potential, even in regular classes. We do not consider our children gifted, just gifts.

 

[Let'sGoFlyAKite]

I am really enjoying reading everyone's opinions and ideas. I am really struggling with the "Bored" controversy, though. PART of me says "Of course a kid needs to learn to entertain himself" and PART of me says "If he's not challenged enough, he needs someone to come up with something constructive to do"....The teacher herself is the one who told me she can tell he's bored. He's not acting out, but just gets his work done early and then talks her ear off or anyone who will listen. This is an enjoyable conversation, because in "Real Life" I cant talk to the other parents and friends about my kid being 'gifted' or I get the eye rolls, and the "Oh there she goes bragging about her kid again..."

 

[Debbie7452]

Do they have have Statistics? Or did she already take that? I am sure she did.

They do warn us in the middle school course book that this is a problem if your child starts with Algebra 1 in 6th grade. However we do have extensive Community Colleges here so getting duel enrollment is something that is easier to do. When I lived in DFW, I noticed the lack of CC for kids. There were none in Flower Mound which is why they had extensive AP classes. Which was good for my oldest, she took a ton of history.

You know it will be all good in the end. I bet she is smoking the ACT/SAT math section.

Thanks...we do have statistics, but she doesn't see it as "real" math like Calculus. She is taking the AP class now and next year the dual-credit version, so I guess it is sort of different (it's basically the same class).

She took the SAT this past October as a Junior. It was supposed to be a practice test for her and I told her "no pressure" let's just see how it goes. She got a 1540 (math & verbal only) out of 1600. She says she's done! I'm like...don't you want to try for a perfect score? she says no way!! She only missed one math problem. We find out her PSAT scores soon...I am so excited she might be National Merit...I was and I really want that for her.

Sorry to highjack the thread.

 

[shelly3girls]

Thanks...we do have statistics, but she doesn't see it as "real" math like Calculus. She is taking the AP class now and next year the dual-credit version, so I guess it is sort of different (it's basically the same class).

She took the SAT this past October as a Junior. It was supposed to be a practice test for her and I told her "no pressure" let's just see how it goes. She got a 1540 (math & verbal only) out of 1600. She says she's done! I'm like...don't you want to try for a perfect score? she says no way!! She only missed one math problem. We find out her PSAT scores soon...I am so excited she might be National Merit...I was and I really want that for her.

Sorry to highjack the thread.

There's a good chance she will use statistics more than calculus depending on her career path. You will be suprised how many careers apply it.

Does she have any idea where she might want to go to college? If she plans to apply to top schools like the Ivy leagues then she should try for the 800, she will be competing with many kids who have it. Of course she still needs to stand out in other ways too.

 

[olwyngdh]

This is an enjoyable conversation, because in "Real Life" I cant talk to the other parents and friends about my kid being 'gifted' or I get the eye rolls, and the "Oh there she goes bragging about her kid again..."

I try to be casual about it if it comes up in conversation, especially with my DD8's brownie troop, but I have one Mom who really resents the fact that my daughter is in the program. She has had her daughter tested 3 times now. Twice through the school, and once independently, and she doesn't have the scores to get in, and doesn't have the teacher recommendation. The girl is smart, there is no question about that, but there is a difference between smart and gifted. Gifted children just *think* differently. It isn't always about the grades as much as it is on the way they process things. The brownie troop is bothering me more and more because she fits in less and less. Thankfully, we just had another girl join the troop that is also in the program, so I am hoping the two of them can back each other up when the "you're just weird" and "that's a stupid idea" and other comments start. Worst part of it is, the leaders daughter is the worst offender on that and I am seeing what has always been an outgoing, talkative, friendly child withdrawing and not offering up ideas. I can't just pull her out of the troop either, I am one of the assistant leaders :/

Sorry--other moms who understand. Just needed to get it off my chest to people who won't think I am a crazy lady who thinks her child is something special. To be honest, my DD25 was not gifted, although she was intelligent, and she was a LOT easier to parent. I wouldn't wish my little one any different than she is, but it is hard sometimes. She was babbling to me on the way to Dance tonight, and I finally figured out about half way through that she was explaining time dilation to me...problem was, it was her own theory so it took me a while to fit what she was saying into what I know about it (which isn't much). She doesn't read science fiction, she isn't really a reader, and I am pretty sure they aren't covering this stuff in third grade science, so I have no idea where she comes up with it.

 

[ElizK]

I was pretty surprised when my DD's school wanted to test her. Due to a slight learning disability, her grades weren't that great. But she is quite the outside-the-box thinker, and I'm pretty sure that's why they wanted her.

We didn't care for the pull-out program she was in the first year because she was missing class work that she was responsible for making up. The next year, though (6th grade) they created a new program that put ALL the GT kids in the same classes all day long. The teacher was fantastic, and all that creative energy worked well together.

 

[PatMcDuck]

I have grown up kids.

I struggled with this issue when one of my 4 kids was young. For example, he taught himself to read in the first month of kindergarden (I did NOT help, he was #2 of 4 kids, I was busy with his next sibling who has Downs, and his baby sister). He had some pull outs in the younger grades, which he enjoyed, and did make it into the middle school program, which is very hard to get into/ large district, they only take 44 kids out of over 1000 in each grade. This kid just approached things differently, problem solving, etc. Fascinating and challenging at times. He asked out of the program in 8th grade, and we said ok. He did not like the other kids, they were very competitive grade-wise, and it was not his thing to compete that way.

Along with his high IQ, he was/is ADD. (not ADHD, no behavior issues). They just would not or could not deal with it in the program. It became too much. We had to accept that we had to deal with the total picture, not just the one facet, high intelligence. By high school, the ADD made school more difficult, and he took only regular classes and did well. (I WISH he had agreed to medication at this time, he resisted, his decision. He is on meds now, as an adult, and it is helping him tremendously. Some people do benefit greatly from treatment).

He is 22 now, and did NOT go to college...... he refused to go. He has been working construction, and his intelligence and superior mental math skills do help him there. I wish he went to school, but he wants to work outside, some people are like that, he wants to be a paid fireman someday.

So, you never know where these super "smart" kids will end up. My other kids were smart too, the oldest has an almost photographic memory..... it is really incredible.... they are all amazing in one way or another.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

I am really enjoying reading everyone's opinions and ideas. I am really struggling with the "Bored" controversy, though. PART of me says "Of course a kid needs to learn to entertain himself" and PART of me says "If he's not challenged enough, he needs someone to come up with something constructive to do"....The teacher herself is the one who told me she can tell he's bored. He's not acting out, but just gets his work done early and then talks her ear off or anyone who will listen. This is an enjoyable conversation, because in "Real Life" I cant talk to the other parents and friends about my kid being 'gifted' or I get the eye rolls, and the "Oh there she goes bragging about her kid again..."

I also live in Missouri - grew up in SW MO.

DS is in our GATES program. He's in the 3rd grade. Our program is one day a week, begins in the 3rd grade. DS is the only 3rd grader in the program (out of 130 students). Since DS is the only 3rd grader, DS joins the 4th grade students for his GATES class where there are 5 other students. DS entered the program based on teacher recommendation, standardized test scores, Wechsler test score, and a meeting with the school's psychologist. DS had no idea what GATES even was - he thought he was just taking a fun test during the Wechsler portion.

DS enjoys the GATES class and it's the best part of his school week. We love DS's 3rd grade classroom teacher - great lady. However, she's told me several times that she has little to nothing to actually teach our son as he could be teaching the material himself. Her words, not mine. He's a great kid and doesn't know much of anything is different about him though it's clear to anyone that converses with him. DS craves science, math, reading and history. Is there anything he has trouble with in the classroom? Handwriting. It's a struggle nearly every night. He sees it as monotonous and complete drudgery.

How to keep DS challenged? Believe me, it's the other way around - we, the parents, are the ones constantly challenged. DS loves to read and we visit the public library very often. His school librarian works with him to bring in books from the high school that are on his level (books that aren't at his 3-5 grade school) -- though we've run into the problem of books on his reading level but not his maturity level. DS loves to take apart old electronics and make old items into new functional items. He loves his circuit set and is always trying to come up with new ideas that aren't in the instruction book. We have a friend that's an electrician and they've worked together on a couple projects that DS dreamed up. I could go on and on, but what we've tried to do has come naturally - not something we read to do with our "gifted" child from a book. You'll learn your child's passion and he'll guide you as to where he wants to run.

 

[Nicolepa]

OK-i'm just gonna say it. Why is it that whenever a gifted thread appears, people have to come on and let you know that your child is probably not "truly gifted", just smart. What purpose could that possibly serve except to try to shoot someone down a peg.

The fact is, it shouldn't matter if a child is "truly gifted". Kids who are above the average kid and sit around waiting for other to get the material need to be challenged. I'm a teacher and I of course have kids who struggle (I give them extra help) kids who are right on target and doing just fine with the material, and kids who are ahead of the others-of course they need to be challenged and I do that by letting them move ahead of the others, giving them more advanced stuff.

Special services should not be provided just to kids on the low end of the spectrum. As someone else said, gifted has a wide range-some kids are really smart, and some kids are exceptionally gifted. These kids need special attention to reach their full potential. Let's stop splitting hairs and trying to shoot one another down for the crime of saying their child is gifted.

I wish there were more teachers like you! When my daughter was in K I was told in November, she has basically passed K. We will not be doing any reading w/her because she is so far ahead. (And they didn't, nothing.) During journal time the teacher had her going around helping the other students w/their writing, and at the end of the day she would sometimes "let" her read the story. She was so bored.

My son, is bright overall. In K & 1st he was very behind in reading (due to hearing issues) so he was placed in a remedial reading class that met 3x a week. On the other hand he is brilliant at math. Well, until 3rd grade there is no differentiation in math everyone does the same thing. He got so tired of 1+2=3. I was told that even if they did differentiate he would be allowed to move up in math because he was behind in reading. I now homeschool him. He tests almost 2 years ahead in reading, on target for LA, and several years ahead in Math. Right now I have him 2 years ahead. He could easily go another year ahead but I don't see the need to push him.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that is it frustrating that most teachers try to get all their kids to be average. The gifted (or even just bright) are ignored while the other end of the spectrum gets tons of help thrown at them (even stuff that's not needed, speaking from experience) and the average kids just plug along.

 

[Let'sGoFlyAKite]

I also live in Missouri - grew up in SW MO.

DS is in our GATES program. He's in the 3rd grade. Our program is one day a week, begins in the 3rd grade. DS is the only 3rd grader in the program (out of 130 students). Since DS is the only 3rd grader, DS joins the 4th grade students for his GATES class where there are 5 other students. DS entered the program based on teacher recommendation, standardized test scores, Wechsler test score, and a meeting with the school's psychologist. DS had no idea what GATES even was - he thought he was just taking a fun test during the Wechsler portion.

DS enjoys the GATES class and it's the best part of his school week. We love DS's 3rd grade classroom teacher - great lady. However, she's told me several times that she has little to nothing to actually teach our son as he could be teaching the material himself. Her words, not mine. He's a great kid and doesn't know much of anything is different about him though it's clear to anyone that converses with him. DS craves science, math, reading and history. Is there anything he has trouble with in the classroom? Handwriting. It's a struggle nearly every night. He sees it as monotonous and complete drudgery.

How to keep DS challenged? Believe me, it's the other way around - we, the parents, are the ones constantly challenged. DS loves to read and we visit the public library very often. His school librarian works with him to bring in books from the high school that are on his level (books that aren't at his 3-5 grade school) -- though we've run into the problem of books on his reading level but not his maturity level. DS loves to take apart old electronics and make old items into new functional items. He loves his circuit set and is always trying to come up with new ideas that aren't in the instruction book. We have a friend that's an electrician and they've worked together on a couple projects that DS dreamed up. I could go on and on, but what we've tried to do has come naturally - not something we read to do with our "gifted" child from a book. You'll learn your child's passion and he'll guide you as to where he wants to run.

Thanks for all the great ideas!! I totally forgot about something as simple as the library!! And I will be finding some electronics for him to mess with! Thanks.

 

[golfgal]

Thanks...we do have statistics, but she doesn't see it as "real" math like Calculus. She is taking the AP class now and next year the dual-credit version, so I guess it is sort of different (it's basically the same class).

She took the SAT this past October as a Junior. It was supposed to be a practice test for her and I told her "no pressure" let's just see how it goes. She got a 1540 (math & verbal only) out of 1600. She says she's done! I'm like...don't you want to try for a perfect score? she says no way!! She only missed one math problem. We find out her PSAT scores soon...I am so excited she might be National Merit...I was and I really want that for her.

Sorry to highjack the thread.

There's a good chance she will use statistics more than calculus depending on her career path. You will be suprised how many careers apply it.

Does she have any idea where she might want to go to college? If she plans to apply to top schools like the Ivy leagues then she should try for the 800, she will be competing with many kids who have it. Of course she still needs to stand out in other ways too.

I was just going to post the same thing. Depending on how good the stat's teacher is, she may find that Stats is HARDER then Calculus. It is also a class that will transcend most majors in college, especially if she has to do any research papers in college. I wouldn't retake Calculus (she can still take the AP test-which I would do THIS year) without taking AP Calc to try for college credit. It will look better on her transcript to have 4 DIFFERENT math classes then having Calculus and AP Calculus on there even if stats turns out to be too easy.

 

[honugirl]

I was just going to post the same thing. Depending on how good the stat's teacher is, she may find that Stats is HARDER then Calculus. It is also a class that will transcend most majors in college, especially if she has to do any research papers in college. I wouldn't retake Calculus (she can still take the AP test-which I would do THIS year) without taking AP Calc to try for college credit. It will look better on her transcript to have 4 DIFFERENT math classes then having Calculus and AP Calculus on there even if stats turns out to be too easy.

I can vouch for this. Almost every college major wants some sort of Stats class. Even for teachers. And almost everyone I know (myself included) HATES it. I don't know one person who actually liked it. Kind of like when I hear people talk about organic chemistry, nobody likes that either! Except me...

 

[Magpie]

I try to be casual about it if it comes up in conversation, especially with my DD8's brownie troop, but I have one Mom who really resents the fact that my daughter is in the program. She has had her daughter tested 3 times now. Twice through the school, and once independently, and she doesn't have the scores to get in, and doesn't have the teacher recommendation. The girl is smart, there is no question about that, but there is a difference between smart and gifted. Gifted children just *think* differently. It isn't always about the grades as much as it is on the way they process things. The brownie troop is bothering me more and more because she fits in less and less. Thankfully, we just had another girl join the troop that is also in the program, so I am hoping the two of them can back each other up when the "you're just weird" and "that's a stupid idea" and other comments start. Worst part of it is, the leaders daughter is the worst offender on that and I am seeing what has always been an outgoing, talkative, friendly child withdrawing and not offering up ideas. I can't just pull her out of the troop either, I am one of the assistant leaders :/

Sorry--other moms who understand. Just needed to get it off my chest to people who won't think I am a crazy lady who thinks her child is something special. To be honest, my DD25 was not gifted, although she was intelligent, and she was a LOT easier to parent. I wouldn't wish my little one any different than she is, but it is hard sometimes. She was babbling to me on the way to Dance tonight, and I finally figured out about half way through that she was explaining time dilation to me...problem was, it was her own theory so it took me a while to fit what she was saying into what I know about it (which isn't much). She doesn't read science fiction, she isn't really a reader, and I am pretty sure they aren't covering this stuff in third grade science, so I have no idea where she comes up with it.

Just hang in there.

Stepping back and keeping some of her ideas to herself is not necessarily a bad thing where your daughter is concerned. It shows that she's becoming more socially aware, and conscious of how she's presenting herself. It's part of growing up, and as long as you're there supporting her, she should do just fine. My daughter did the same thing. (As did I, when I was her age!)

Yes, it made me sad to see my outgoing, bubbly child withdraw. When she was seven, she used to walk down the street, singing and dancing with sheer joy. But honestly, she frequently irritated her peers by talking about things they didn't understand or care about. They didn't want to hear her ideas. Even teachers found her enthusiasm a bit wearing after awhile. When she realized this, she stopped talking. She disappeared into her fantasy novels for a couple years. But then in Grade 8, my daughter began to emerge and look around, and she realized that somehow in the intervening time people had decided they liked her again. They thought, "Hey, that quiet, bookish girl is really nice. I wonder why we never noticed her?"

My daughter became involved with the talent show, she began to sing again in the hallways, and instead of people telling her to "shut up", they told her she "had an awesome voice!" My daughter, all wide-eyed, would come home to me saying, "People really like me!"

I'd been telling her for years that things would get better. That she needed to grow into herself, and the other kids needed to grow up. I'm pleased to see that it's working out well for her.

 

[agnes!]

Our school district has a GT program, but it doesn't amount to much really. My kids stayed busy with Math team activities and Math/Science competitions. Destination Imagination is another good activity. It really teaches teamwork and leadership skills as well as creativity.

Of course, I have to admit I have a "gifted" child. Our district allows the really advanced students to take Algebra a year early and keep advancing each year (even going to the High school for classes in 8th grade). My DD did that and everything was great until she got to Calculus this year (11th) grade. She's making a 100 average, but next year there's no other Math to take and she has to RE-take the same class. Her schedule doesn't allow for her to go take a college class somewhere. I wish we had thought ahead enough when we decided to go this route! So whatever you do for your DS, think ahead to the long term consequences! ...

We ran into something like that this year. This gets complicated but I'll try to be brief...

DD took AP English Language as a Junior. This year as a Senior the choices were either AP English Lit *OR* English 12. English 12...English 12?!?
Yeah, you read that right...DD who pulled an A in the AP English class, scored a 4 on that AP Test AND YET?...because of the absolutely STUPID state requirements she HAD to take an English class this year even though she was already supposedly at a college-level. So she could either have taken English 12 (which would probably have covered much of the same material as she already had covered as a Junior) or this AP class.

God forbid that she be allowed to take the year-long Shakespeare Seminar since it was classified as a lowly Elective .

Bitter? You BET. DD every so often out of the blue even says she wishes she would have been allowed to take the Shakespeare class...

agnes!

 

[olwyngdh]

Just hang in there.

Stepping back and keeping some of her ideas to herself is not necessarily a bad thing where your daughter is concerned. It shows that she's becoming more socially aware, and conscious of how she's presenting herself. It's part of growing up, and as long as you're there supporting her, she should do just fine. My daughter did the same thing. (As did I, when I was her age!)

Yes, it made me sad to see my outgoing, bubbly child withdraw. When she was seven, she used to walk down the street, singing and dancing with sheer joy. But honestly, she frequently irritated her peers by talking about things they didn't understand or care about. They didn't want to hear her ideas. Even teachers found her enthusiasm a bit wearing after awhile. When she realized this, she stopped talking. She disappeared into her fantasy novels for a couple years. But then in Grade 8, my daughter began to emerge and look around, and she realized that somehow in the intervening time people had decided they liked her again. They thought, "Hey, that quiet, bookish girl is really nice. I wonder why we never noticed her?"

My daughter became involved with the talent show, she began to sing again in the hallways, and instead of people telling her to "shut up", they told her she "had an awesome voice!" My daughter, all wide-eyed, would come home to me saying, "People really like me!"

I'd been telling her for years that things would get better. That she needed to grow into herself, and the other kids needed to grow up. I'm pleased to see that it's working out well for her.

Thank you!! It has really been worrying me. I know that a lot of the things she is interested in are different, sometimes but always more mature, than her friends, but it breaks my heart to have to hold her while she is crying about a couple of the girls in Brownies hating her. I am actually thinking about doing Julliettes next year rather than a Jr troop so she can just do the things she is interested in and not worry, but I don't want her to lose out on learning the cooperation and teamwork that she can get from scouts. The leader gets a bit irritated because my DD has more try-its than the other girls, and she thinks that we should only work on them as a troop, but DD has so many interests that the rest of the troop doesn't have, and I am not going to hold her back from exploring her interests. The last big thing was a service project that the troop is doing. When the leader asked for suggestions, DD suggested that they go to the local national park, meet with a ranger, pick up trash or what ever else was needed, and get their national park girl scout patch while they were at it. (She already has it, but thought that it would be cool if everyone did). She was told that was a stupid idea because nobody cared about that stuff. They are getting donations of pet food and taking it to a local shelter, which is a cool thing, and I don't have a problem with it, and neither does DD, but it was scheduled against her Christmas recital, so she can't participate, and was told by the leader that she would just have to make a choice if she thought Dance was more important she just wouldn't get the badge. (This after the leader was told that this was the one date that we would not be available) This from the troop that moved meeting nights because of another girls sport practice schedule. We have already moved one of her dance classes to stay with this troop, and I am really starting to get the feeling that they don't want her there. I am at a loss for what to do at this point.

Sorry, I feel like I am whining, but I really am at a loss about how to handle the situation. If she were sitting in her room reading, like I did for *years.* it wouldn't bother me so much, but she wants to be out there participating and the rejection is really hurting her. Thankfully, her classroom teacher loves having her in the class, even though she has to work hard to get her to raise her hand instead of blurting out answers, questions, observations, and things that no one other than she can see has a connection to what they are talking about. The EXTEND program is also a blessing, and she thrives on spending a day a week with other kids who *get* her. I just wish this district had a dedicated full time classroom like the neighboring districts do, but we don't.

 

[Magpie]

Thank you!! It has really been worrying me. I know that a lot of the things she is interested in are different, sometimes but always more mature, than her friends, but it breaks my heart to have to hold her while she is crying about a couple of the girls in Brownies hating her. I am actually thinking about doing Julliettes next year rather than a Jr troop so she can just do the things she is interested in and not worry, but I don't want her to lose out on learning the cooperation and teamwork that she can get from scouts. The leader gets a bit irritated because my DD has more try-its than the other girls, and she thinks that we should only work on them as a troop, but DD has so many interests that the rest of the troop doesn't have, and I am not going to hold her back from exploring her interests. The last big thing was a service project that the troop is doing. When the leader asked for suggestions, DD suggested that they go to the local national park, meet with a ranger, pick up trash or what ever else was needed, and get their national park girl scout patch while they were at it. (She already has it, but thought that it would be cool if everyone did). She was told that was a stupid idea because nobody cared about that stuff. They are getting donations of pet food and taking it to a local shelter, which is a cool thing, and I don't have a problem with it, and neither does DD, but it was scheduled against her Christmas recital, so she can't participate, and was told by the leader that she would just have to make a choice if she thought Dance was more important she just wouldn't get the badge. (This after the leader was told that this was the one date that we would not be available) This from the troop that moved meeting nights because of another girls sport practice schedule. We have already moved one of her dance classes to stay with this troop, and I am really starting to get the feeling that they don't want her there. I am at a loss for what to do at this point.

Sorry, I feel like I am whining, but I really am at a loss about how to handle the situation. If she were sitting in her room reading, like I did for *years.* it wouldn't bother me so much, but she wants to be out there participating and the rejection is really hurting her. Thankfully, her classroom teacher loves having her in the class, even though she has to work hard to get her to raise her hand instead of blurting out answers, questions, observations, and things that no one other than she can see has a connection to what they are talking about. The EXTEND program is also a blessing, and she thrives on spending a day a week with other kids who *get* her. I just wish this district had a dedicated full time classroom like the neighboring districts do, but we don't.

I'm not a big fan of staying where you aren't wanted. Me, I'd back off the Girl Scouts and do things on our own - or else look around for another troop. Your plan to switch to Juliette's sounds good. Also, can girls join the American Scouts (aka boy scouts)? I know they can in Canada, but I think scouting is different in the US.

Your daughter has GREAT ideas (I love the national park visit!), and you don't need to do them with the troop. One thing I did when my daughter was little, was connect with the local homeschoolers. Sure, we weren't actually homeschooling (at the time), but I found they had great resources for part time enrichment and I was able to pull together groups of kids for gymnastics and trips to the national park, and museum visits. Alternatively, you could try to create an afterschool group with the other kids in the EXTEND program.

One of the things you want to watch out for is that girls this age can be vicious - and they get really good at digging the knife in when you aren't looking. Your daughter can learn cooperation and teamwork anywhere, scouts isn't the only place she can get all that. And if the atmosphere turns poisonous, she won't be learning anything useful at all.

BTW - Keeping backing her teacher up, in trying to teach your daughter to control her enthusiasm in the classroom. This becomes SO important when they get older! Here's what my mother told me, that I've passed on to my daughter...

What to do when you really want to contribute in class:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Count to three.
3. Look around, see if anyone else has their hand up. If yes, give them a chance to answer first - MOST of the time. Every now and then you can treat yourself with a first answer. My mother recommends a three-to-one ratio.
4. Put your hand up.
5. Wait.

The benefits of practicing this routine include:

1. Getting called on more often (if your hand is always in the air, the teacher begins to ignore it).
2. Not irritating your classmates. (There's a reason they mock smart children on TV - just think of Martin in the Simpsons, "Oh, teacher, pick me, pick me! I'm ever so much smarter than the rest of them!")
3. Practicing your listening skills (many gifted children REALLY need practice in this area).
4. Getting to make the most salient point, because you've had a moment to think and compose your answer. The person who sounds smartest is never the first one to speak, it's always the person with the LAST answer.

 

[allyphoe]

it breaks my heart to have to hold her while she is crying about a couple of the girls in Brownies hating her.

I just finished reading Little Girls Can Be Mean, and highly recommend it. At 8, a lot of the meanness is about the other girls, not about your DD.

For school meanness, you just have to teach strategies for dealing with it (which the book covers) and hope for the best. But for an extracurricular, I wouldn't put up with it unless your DD was insistent. And if she is insistent, taking a few weeks off might resolve things - we took my DD off the bus for 3 weeks over little girl drama, and there wasn't any more drama when she started riding again.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Thank you!! It has really been worrying me. I know that a lot of the things she is interested in are different, sometimes but always more mature, than her friends, but it breaks my heart to have to hold her while she is crying about a couple of the girls in Brownies hating her. I am actually thinking about doing Julliettes next year rather than a Jr troop so she can just do the things she is interested in and not worry, but I don't want her to lose out on learning the cooperation and teamwork that she can get from scouts. The leader gets a bit irritated because my DD has more try-its than the other girls, and she thinks that we should only work on them as a troop, but DD has so many interests that the rest of the troop doesn't have, and I am not going to hold her back from exploring her interests. The last big thing was a service project that the troop is doing. When the leader asked for suggestions, DD suggested that they go to the local national park, meet with a ranger, pick up trash or what ever else was needed, and get their national park girl scout patch while they were at it. (She already has it, but thought that it would be cool if everyone did). She was told that was a stupid idea because nobody cared about that stuff. They are getting donations of pet food and taking it to a local shelter, which is a cool thing, and I don't have a problem with it, and neither does DD, but it was scheduled against her Christmas recital, so she can't participate, and was told by the leader that she would just have to make a choice if she thought Dance was more important she just wouldn't get the badge. (This after the leader was told that this was the one date that we would not be available) This from the troop that moved meeting nights because of another girls sport practice schedule. We have already moved one of her dance classes to stay with this troop, and I am really starting to get the feeling that they don't want her there. I am at a loss for what to do at this point.

Sorry, I feel like I am whining, but I really am at a loss about how to handle the situation. If she were sitting in her room reading, like I did for *years.* it wouldn't bother me so much, but she wants to be out there participating and the rejection is really hurting her. Thankfully, her classroom teacher loves having her in the class, even though she has to work hard to get her to raise her hand instead of blurting out answers, questions, observations, and things that no one other than she can see has a connection to what they are talking about. The EXTEND program is also a blessing, and she thrives on spending a day a week with other kids who *get* her. I just wish this district had a dedicated full time classroom like the neighboring districts do, but we don't.

Have you thought about starting your own troop? Her troop should have them taking turns an picking trips at this age. As far as her earning try-its outside of the meeting that is something I have always encouraged. There is no way was as troop I cant always cater to every persons likes for each trip so we try to do a variety of things.

Also look into a surrounding town.

Being an indepenant is also an option and you would have to register as her adviser.

 

[Debbie7452]

I can vouch for this. Almost every college major wants some sort of Stats class. Even for teachers. And almost everyone I know (myself included) HATES it. I don't know one person who actually liked it. Kind of like when I hear people talk about organic chemistry, nobody likes that either! Except me...

Thanks guys, I will try to talk her into it. I do believe it would be useful. It's funny, but I liked Organic Chem too! I was a Biochem major. Math was not my thing though, she did not get those brain cells from me!...I drifted into Biochem looking to do Cancer research. I loved it until I quit working to be a SAHM. DD wants to be a science major of some sort...she is uncertain which kind. She is not looking for Ivy league, just a good merit scholarship at a state school will be fine. If no great offers come her way, she will follow in her parents footsteps and go to Texas A&M. Whoop!

What in the heck is time dilation...I thought I was kind of smart, but now I know otherwise.

Funny story about these kids being "different". When my DD was small, she made up her own foreign language. She copied out translation sheets and gave them to her friends and tried to make them learn it! They were not too enthused... I wish I could find my copy of her language, I saved it somewhere.

 

[olwyngdh]

What in the heck is time dilation...I thought I was kind of smart, but now I know otherwise.

It is the theory (that I only know from reading Science Fiction) that if you travel out in space some distance, then turn around and come back, that more time would have passed on earth and would have passed for you. DD thinks that this will play into the portal she wants to build so she doesn't have to travel places, just set the destination, carry her baggage through, and be where she wants to be. We convinced her last year that she couldn't build the portal for the 2nd grade Science Fair because she doesn't have the maths yet, so she downloaded a basic algebra program to my iPhone and started teaching herself.

Her current career goal is to work at Kennedy Space Center designing and building vehicles to send people to space so that she will be close enough and have her weekends free to dance at Disney. She wants the portal in case she gets a job somewhere else so she can still have her part time dancing job.