School dilemma

[kasar]

Here's one for y'all: (apologies to Pop Daddy - it'll be long)

My DDs class has had a long term sub since Feb. due to teacher's maternity leave. She's a sweet lady but she's way too nice and the kids are walking all over her. Since it's almost June, they've gotten progressively worse.

The other day I was volunteering in the class and I was amazed at how loud and disrespectful they were being. My small group couldn't get focused, they were bickering, and pushing each other, etc. I did the best I could (again, parent volunteer - not trained in behavior issues or crowd control) but they would not listen to me or do their work (well some would, others no). I finally got a little strict with them and told them to clean up their mess. One boy said, "I don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother". I calmly said, "No, I'm not but I'm an adult volunteering in your class and I'm asking you to help your friends clean this mess". We left it at that and continued on.

I wasn't sure if I should mention it to the teacher because this boy has been a handful all along and has some issues with confrontation. I just said that I thought the kids were really rowdy today and I felt bad that she has to put up with this on a daily basis. Well, that must have been her final straw because she really gave them a big speech after I left about their behavior and lack of respect. She wanted them all to write a note to me apologizing for their behavior. I didn't ask her to do this and I really wasn't that comfortable with the whole thing but I understood the point she was trying to make. Well, I got letters from everyone except, you guessed it, the boy. Now, I don't really care about the stupid letters I'm just amazed that everyone else wrote one (even the kids who were behaving) except him. Do I say something or just drop it (my preference)?

 

[SugarBear]

Don't let him get away with it. People have probably been letting him get away with stuff like that for a long time and that's why he's so bad.

 

[missypie]

Call him on it!

 

[CBRorBust]

I would drop it. Pick and choose your battles.

 

[alabamaalan]

I would not drop it if it were an assignment from the teacher. He should not be allowed to pick and choose the things that he wants to do.

 

[HollyJoy]

Personally, I"d say something. I volunteer in my daughter's first grade class, and when I'm there, I'm specifically working with the children on tasks that the teacher wants them to do. If I have one that's not listening, I'll pipe up and redirect them.. no problems. If they still can't seem to listen, then I involve the teacher. The children are expected to listen to all parent volunteers, as well as their teacher. I think you need to involve the teacher, because if you don't, the behavior is sure to continue. At least she could do something about it so that the child knows he can't act this way.

 

[thinkerbell]

I would drop it. I had one of those very challenging students and as someone else said, you have to choose your battles. The teacher probably did just that. It would probably have been a bigger scene to make him do it than not. If you say something to her, she is going to feel like she has to make him and may make life hard for her with him.

 

[Sirius]

As a teacher, I say something needs to be said to him. SugarBear is right; the child has probably gotten away with everything and that's why he is so poorly behaved.

I'm amazed the teacher didn't check to see that everyone had completed the assignment. The teacher really should take this up with the parent. This child's lack of respect will only get worse as he progresses.

 

[susy]

I am a pre-service teacher (in a master's program). Never ASK a student to clean up. When it's clean up time-it simply is. You are telling them to do it. When you ask a question, it's okay to say "no", isn't it? The classroom rules probably clearly state that students are to clean up after themselves. If students do not comply they should have the consequences for not complying stated for them-very matter-of-factly. If they refuse to comply-follow through. Is there a classroom management plan in place?Did the stuents have a consequence? Did students have a consequence for not finishing their work, like doing it for homework or during recess?

I had to break a lot of bad habits, like asking students if they "thought it was getting too loud in here?" or "What are you doing out of your seat?" I am going to recommend a book for that teacher. Please give her the title. I think it will help (at least for next year). It is my classroom management bible! You should read it also-I think the teachers will be pretty impressed with you and it has good strategies for parents as well.

"Setting Limits in the Classroom" Robert J. MacKenzie, ED.D.

Good luck!!!!

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

I agree that you should just 'mention' to the teacher that he didn't write one, but I'm willing to bet that she already knows.

 

[Sirius]

I'll recommend another book:

First Days of School: How to Be an Effective Teacher
Harry K. Wong, Rosemary Tripi Wong

 

[CBRorBust]

First Days of School: How to Be an Effective Teacher
Harry K. Wong, Rosemary Tripi Wong

This should be a MUST have!

 

[poohtown]

i would say something too - not to offend anyone but this is probably the kind of kid who in a couple years will start something with a teacher and when the teacher has him suspended, the parents will sue the school. I'm sick of kids doing whatever they want with no thought. I would never allow my kids to get away with that.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Have you considered that the teacher may have pulled that kid's letter out of the stack for being...well...not quite what she had in mind?

 

[susy]

Yes, definitely get Harry Wong's book-that's another MUST have.

 

[kasar]

It's possible that she took out the letter, but I'd be willing to bet it wasn't done. He's one of those kids that can't be "confronted" He freaks out over little things. He's disruptive and has issues that I'm sure are being addressed. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that DD is not in his class next year - just way too distracting.

Thanks for the book recomendations. I'll pass them on to her but I have the feeling that she's going back to daily subbing. The regular teacher will be back in the fall.

susy: I see your point. But I really don't want to be the teacher - I'm just a mom who comes in to help with crafts one day a week. I'm not comfortable disciplining the students, and I don't think they really want me to.

Thanks for all the opinions.