School department bans 'father-daughter' and 'mother-son' dances

[topolino]

A school department in Rhode Island has banned these dances because they say they promote gender-role stereotypes and are also against state law:

CRANSTON, R.I. -- In a move that has taken some parents by surprise, the school department has announced that it is banning traditional "father-daughter" and "mother-son" activities, saying they violate state law.

Supt. Judith Lundsten said the move was triggered by a letter ifrom the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a single mom who had complained that her daughter had not been able to attend her father-daughter dance.

Lundsten said school attorneys found while federal Title IX legislation banning gender discrimination gives an exemption for "father-son" and "mother-daughter" events, Rhode Island law doesn't.
The new ban was brought to light Monday by Sean Gately, a Republican running for the state Senate, who said if elected he will work to change the state law.

So where do you come down on this issue?

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm shocked they even still have them in places- haven't had them here in many many years, even the girl scouts stopped doing father/daughter events!

 

[kaytieeldr]

I think the woman who complained is wrong. Nobody asks for a birth certificate. I'm sure there were other students who didn't attend, even if they live with or have contact with their fathers. And other girls went with other relatives - uncle, cousin, even family friend.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

In my high school, (many years ago), the father/daughter dance was open for whatever parent/daughter combo necessary to the girl student to attend (mother/daughter; grandpa/granddaughter; aunt/niece; brother/sister; whatever)

Maybe we were more politically correct back then?

 

[Sugardimples]

I went to any all girl high school in the 1960's and we did not have a father-daughter dance because girls without fathers in their lives would feel left out.

 

[topolino]

In my high school, (many years ago), the father/daughter dance was open for whatever parent/daughter combo necessary to the girl student to attend (mother/daughter; grandpa/granddaughter; aunt/niece; brother/sister; whatever)

Maybe we were more politically correct back then?

This seems to be the most logical solution, in my opinion.

 

[KristaTX]

What teenage boy would go to a father-son dance? Or what father, for that matter.

 

[topolino]

What teenage boy would go to a father-son dance? Or what father, for that matter.

I think it's time to go and edit my title!

 

[KristaTX]

I think it's time to go and edit my title!

 

[badblackpug]

A school department in Rhode Island has banned these dances because they say they promote gender-role stereotypes and are also against state law:

CRANSTON, R.I. -- In a move that has taken some parents by surprise, the school department has announced that it is banning traditional "father-daughter" and "mother-son" activities, saying they violate state law.

Supt. Judith Lundsten said the move was triggered by a letter ifrom the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a single mom who had complained that her daughter had not been able to attend her father-daughter dance.

Lundsten said school attorneys found while federal Title IX legislation banning gender discrimination gives an exemption for "father-son" and "mother-daughter" events, Rhode Island law doesn't.
The new ban was brought to light Monday by Sean Gately, a Republican running for the state Senate, who said if elected he will work to change the state law.

So where do you come down on this issue?

What this article posted didn't say was that it's more of a change in names, than actually "outlawing" the activity. I read another article that said that the activities would now be called "family" activities, rather than naming a specific parent.

I think that is fair given the make-up of modern families. There are many more kids out there being raised by single parents, grandparents, and same sex parents. I think renaming these activities is a way to include everyone without making anyone feel left out or self conscious.

 

[topolino]

What this article posted didn't say was that it's more of a change in names, than actually "outlawing" the activity. I read another article that said that the activities would now be called "family" activities, rather than naming a specific parent.

I think that is fair given the make-up of modern families. There are many more kids out there being raised by single parents, grandparents, and same sex parents. I think renaming these activities is a way to include everyone without making anyone feel left out or self conscious.

If that's the case then that makes perfect sense. If a name change will make many families feel included, then I'm all for it.

 

[msjprincess]

I'm shocked they even still have them in places- haven't had them here in many many years, even the girl scouts stopped doing father/daughter events!

Our Service Unit still has one for the younger girls but it's called a Sweetheart Dance. Most girls do come with their father but of course they can't call it a Father Daughter Dance.

 

[badblackpug]

CRANSTON, R.I. (AP) — School officials in the Rhode Island city of Cranston have ended their traditional father-daughter dances and mother-son ballgames, saying the activities are a violation of state gender discrimination law.
School Superintendent Judith Lundsten tells the Providence Journal ( bit.ly/Pv6SzE) the move came in response to a complaint from a single mother, who brought her case to the American Civil Liberties Union after her daughter wasn't allowed to attend a father-daughter dance.
Lundsten says school attorneys found while federal gender discrimination laws exempt such events, Rhode Island's law does not.
School Committee member Janice Ruggieri says she believes the school system can adjust and host "family dances" to accommodate all types of parenting situations.

 

[scrapquitler]

I think the woman who complained is wrong. Nobody asks for a birth certificate. I'm sure there were other students who didn't attend, even if they live with or have contact with their fathers. And other girls went with other relatives - uncle, cousin, even family friend.

Exactly. Our dance studio has a 'father/kids dance' in the recital. There are a number of kids who have an uncle, a grandfather, or a family friend dance with them instead of their Dad.

And I have a friend who was a single Dad for years and years...Mom lived out of state and had almost no contact with the kids. Dad used to go to the Mother/child activities at the school because the kids always said "He is Mom AND Dad to me"

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

first, life is not fair. plain and simple.

Second, you figure it out then and make it work. For grandparents day in grade school my kids were often short changed. one set of grandparents: grandpa is passed and grandma had a stroke and couldn't come. The other set for some reason always had vacation scheduled that week. I did not contact the school to get the day banned because my kids didn't have a grandparent there. The teacher said that I could come, or an aunt or uncle could come so they would have someone there. There was a year that no one was able to go. I could never dream of taking away from so many others that loved sharing that day with their grandparents.

I think it is an incredible mean and selfish thing to do, to take away from so many.

 

[Poohforyou]

My father died when I was 8 and I remember how uncomfortable it was when things like the father daughter tea rolled around each year. My heart breaks for other kids that have to go through this. Parents can celebrate with their kids all they want but I don't know why other children need to be made to feel badly about it.

 

[teacherforhi]

According to the article, the child in question was NOT allowed to attend. Is there another one that says she was told she could substitute another relative?

If she was just told no, then that's wrong.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

This is the first place we lived where the school holds them. I thought it was neat. No one was standing at the door making sure only dads came with daughters and mothers came with sons. PLUS it is a school for military kids so I know there were kids there that mom or dad were deployed

It was to have fun.

 

[disney1990]

In my high school, (many years ago), the father/daughter dance was open for whatever parent/daughter combo necessary to the girl student to attend (mother/daughter; grandpa/granddaughter; aunt/niece; brother/sister; whatever)

Maybe we were more politically correct back then?

I totally agree with this option. Everybody should be able to attend, even without a father or mother.

 

[Zooshoveller]

My kids elementary school has a Family Dance around Valentine's Day. It's a PTA fundraiser. Each year the school has a theme and the dance is also a costume party. The kids have a blast. The music is fun upbeat party music, no "slow dancing".