Scared & need your thoughts -DD is getting notes

[Serena]

Karen, any updates? I know I would be terrified.

 

[Tantor]

Dh called the principal yesterday at the school and asked that more be done. She said they don't have the manpower to have someone stay in the hall. She also said that she is sending a letter home on Monday with the kids in the school to explain what happening. Hubby was pulling out all he had when he was talking to her. He said you think you would have handled it this way if it was (insert the director of the school board area's child) She didn't answer.
He also called the officer that we talked to but hasn't heard anything back.
Damo, we have the Trustee's number and will contact him but also are calling the School Board Director. Our school coucil chair is very new and cannot help in this. (I was vice chair last year and have been very active in the school)
We haven't decided what we are doing on Monday yet. I may stay in the school all day with Chloe or she may not go. She loves school so I'd hate to keep her home. We are also very serious about changing schools. I think I wrote in one of the updates that some of the parents have had issue's with the principal already. There are as many teacher that have either left the school or are still in the school that also think she's an idiot.
We wouldn't go to the media with this we just wanted her to see how serious this is.
If this ever happens agian I don't want someone to go through what we have been through.

 

[elan]

The police officer your DH called yesterday has not called back yet? That is unacceptable. The principle and the police reaction IMHO is very lackluster. To me it sounds like they are not taking this as a serious threat.

Have you talked to the any of the other parents? I would think that several parents showing up at police HQ together would help get this resolved. I would also think showing up at HQ and talking to someone in command will be the only way this will be resolved.

 

[Tantor]

I'm not sure if the girl who got the other note on her sweater (note said *die, die, die* which is a death threat) parent's have been contacted. Probably not.
By the way when we had the meeting with the police hubby was writing everything down (along with the cop of course) Neither the principal or the vice were writing anything down.

 

[elan]

I may be way off base here but they seem to be taking a "kids will be kids" attitude. While it may be a prank no one knows for sure and it should still be dealt(sp) with.

Do you know any of the parents in class - so you can start spreading the word? If all the kids in the class know about the notes and threats you would think their parents would know too. I know my kids would tell me when they got home. I wonder where their concern is.

I would contact police HQ and talk to the person in charge. (how can a complaint be taken if nothing is written down?). In our school district I would also talk to the superintendent of schools. This is the person the principle reprorts to. I do not know who your principle reports to but that's is the person I would talk to now. This has gone on long enough - its time.

 

[Tantor]

Oh believe me I have telling every parent I know. I don't care who knows at this point. And yes some of the parents in the classroom have been told by me.
The Super was in the office on our first visit just before us. Apparently she doesn't seem to think this si too serious either. Not much faitht in her. Going up the next level, the director.

 

[momof2minnies]

Karen,
I have not read all the posts but this could potentially turn into something very dangerous. You did say you were not getting help from any school authority or the police. I would take this to local TV media and see how fast people move. We are talking about the safety of our kids and they should all be ashamed of themselves. History has proven you can be too careful. Good Luck.
Linda

 

[summerrluvv]

Dh called the principal yesterday at the school and asked that more be done. She said they don't have the manpower to have someone stay in the hall. She also said that she is sending a letter home on Monday with the kids in the school to explain what happening. Hubby was pulling out all he had when he was talking to her. He said you think you would have handled it this way if it was (insert the director of the school board area's child) She didn't answer.
He also called the officer that we talked to but hasn't heard anything back.
Damo, we have the Trustee's number and will contact him but also are calling the School Board Director. Our school coucil chair is very new and cannot help in this. (I was vice chair last year and have been very active in the school)
We haven't decided what we are doing on Monday yet. I may stay in the school all day with Chloe or she may not go. She loves school so I'd hate to keep her home. We are also very serious about changing schools. I think I wrote in one of the updates that some of the parents have had issue's with the principal already. There are as many teacher that have either left the school or are still in the school that also think she's an idiot.
We wouldn't go to the media with this we just wanted her to see how serious this is.
If this ever happens agian I don't want someone to go through what we have been through.

You could very well change schools, however, since one of the notes said something about seeing her with her dad riding her bike (outside of school), you may have a stalker situation here and changing schools may alleviate the notes, but not the stalking.

 

[KAMLEM]

I'm not sure if the girl who got the other note on her sweater (note said *die, die, die* which is a death threat) parent's have been contacted. Probably not.

I just can't believe that. If something like that happened to my daughter and the school didn't notify me I would be furious. It really sounds like people aren't taking the issue as seriously now. I think I would go to the media but of course I am not in your position so I can't say what's best for you. I'm sure you will do the right thing.

 

[Keli]

You know, I would hate to make my dd change schools since she loves the one she's in but her safety is more important so I would do it. It just doesn't sound like they're working hard enough to find out whose responsible here and I would be worried that they wouldn't be able to help my dd should someone decide to make their move and try to hurt her.

 

[chasbos]

So much for the zero tolerance in Ontario schools! WHen a kid throws a snowball at another it is considered assault - now a death threat by a 4th grader - we will see how it pans out??

This whole situation is unacceptable and I pray that someone of authority opens there eyes and wakes up to the severity of this.

This is a 10 year old little girl here, she needs to know that someone other than her parents are taking this seriously.

Keep fighting for your little girl! Going through all the red tape can be tiring but remember you have a whole DIS community behind you.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Continued prayers and that this will be resolved soon. I would hate to see your daughter have to change schools because of the incompetence of the principal and school officials. After this situation is over can you file a civil suit against the school system for the way they handled it?

I am all too familiar with the attitudes of the school officials. My story is way too long to post all of the details here but the school did not do enough to protect my child from a situation they were warned over and over again was going to happen. (This happened to me when DS was in 5th grade) Silly me, I even work at a police dept, and I TRUSTED the school officials to follow my written directions and go by the court orders I gave them copies of. (Yes, this was an incident of an ex spouse picking the child up at school, but for good reason!) I am not the type of person to make unreasonable requests. I chose my battles very carefully. I had talked to the latch key director, school principal..Everyone I spoke with reassured me that no one, other than myself, would be able to leave school with my child. I knew my ex would come to the school to pick up DS regardless of the fact I had told him, in writing, not to. I trusted school officials to do their part!!! Guess what??? In spite of all my efforts the ex came to DS's school and left with him! I went to the assistant superitendant with my complaint and was told if I was going to make UNREASONABLE requests of latch key personnel I would no longer be allowed to use latch key!!! What good does it do to fill out those forms the school requires each year? Even though, my ex was found to be in contempt of the visitation order in court because of this incident, I should have followed up with a civil suit against the schools. Someone has to send the message to them that they cannot act in such an unresponsible manner when it comes to the safety of our chldren.

TC

 

[DISNEYFANRI]

I've been keeping up with this post and anted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and your daughter.

I wanted to offer 2 comments - and these come from experience:

1. Do not assume that the school will handle this properly - dont' be afraid to go against the chain of command...this is after all about your daughter not about school policy. Do what you feel is right for her.

2. Don't assume that your daughter is "handling" this - from reading your posts she seems to be a very bright well adjusted young girl - but please know that this is affecting her - I know (from experience) that you want to protect her - please keep in mind that she may need (in addition to your support and love) professional help in dealing with this and I am afraid to say that the school will probably not offer it to her.

My thoughts are with you....

 

[Vivig]

Tantor,

I am at loss of words reading this thread.

All I can do is send you lots of Pixie Dust and .

Here are a few thoughts of mine...not sure if any of them would help you but I wanted to raise a few to your attention.

- If the superintendant of the school does not help....how I see it ...is that now is an opportune time to go to one of the candidates from the political parties currently canvasing for our votes. Where is the Safe school policy?? Children are being suspended for much less than what your daughter has been living through. No child should be subject to this!

- Perhaps writing an e-mail to Barbara Coloroso. I found an e-mail address that I am sure they will assist you if you contact her for some guidance: info@kidsareworthit.com <info@kidsareworthit.com>

I have heard her speak on CFRB and have read her books. I am sure (hoping) that once she hears what your daughter, husband and you have been living through that she will assist you.

I will send you three all good thoughts and pray that this settles soon.

As you and your husband are doing .....you are your childs advocate...if you don't fight for her then no one else will. Continue what you have been doing! You sound like awesome parents!

Keep us posted..there are many of us sending you all only their good thoughts and support.

Vivian

 

[Tantor]

Dh has composed a letter that will be sent for Monday morning to our trustee (get this , he is sending it late Sunday night so it will be one of the top emai he opens Monday morning) Dh will be calling him Monday morning also. We are asking this be sent to the Director of our School board as we have no email for him.
We shall see from there what happens.

 

[damo]

Tantor, you may want to try calling the office of Gerard Kennedy, the minister of education. With the incident that happened recently at the Catholic High School in TO, he might be interested.

I would also consider telling your teacher that your child will not be returning to school until the situation is resolved. Write this in a letter that documents the whole incident and copy the principal, trustee, superintendent, director and minister. You might want to also copy the Toronto Star; they would love to get hold of this info right now. It is big anti-bullying time around here and this is a situation that shows that your powers-that-be are all talk and no action.

It is so easy for the prinicipals to pick on the little incidences in the playground and penalize the kids but as soon as the authorities actually have to do some investigating, the situation is played down.

 

[DWDreams]

I'm so sorry this is happening to your daughter and can't believe it's taking this long to to resolve within the school. I have a daughter in 5th grade and can't even begin to imagine how this must be making your family feel. I hope you'll get the answers Monday so it can be dealt with right away. I did see you aren't sure if the other girl's parents know -- if you know who the girl is and can contact her parents, I would let them know. I'd want someone to tell me if it were my daughter, particularly since it's part of a chain of events such as this. Plus, the more voices pushing for action the better, IMO.

 

[Tantor]

I've been keeping up with this post and anted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and your daughter.

I wanted to offer 2 comments - and these come from experience:

1. Do not assume that the school will handle this properly - dont' be afraid to go against the chain of command...this is after all about your daughter not about school policy. Do what you feel is right for her.

2. Don't assume that your daughter is "handling" this - from reading your posts she seems to be a very bright well adjusted young girl - but please know that this is affecting her - I know (from experience) that you want to protect her - please keep in mind that she may need (in addition to your support and love) professional help in dealing with this and I am afraid to say that the school will probably not offer it to her.



My thoughts are with you....

We have professional help with DH work. They did offer us a councillor to talk to DD.

 

[minkydog]

in the school)
We wouldn't go to the media with this we just wanted her to see how serious this is.
If this ever happens agian I don't want someone to go through what we have been through.

Why not go to the media? Nothing else is working. I think a little media heat would be just the thing to shake some folks loose. This has been going on, what, a week already? In the meantime, I hope you will strongly consider moving your child to another school. There is no trust left in the authorities at this one.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I haven't read the whole thread, but much of it. Has there been a talk with the students in the school about such actions, the seriousnes of it and the consequnces? (legal and in in school?) I think if it is a child not only should the child be expelled, but consider legal or civil actions. ( I didn't read every post so I might of missed, but I tried to get all the ones the OP made.

Tantor, hugs. I am so sorry. I can't belive this is happening. What a nightmare. Please keep us updated. We really want to know what resloves of this.