Scared & need your thoughts -DD is getting notes

[jenny2]

I've been thinking about the OP and her reaction alot today. She has stated several times she is really scared. She has contacted the school authorities and the school authorities have now contacted the police and will have them meet the OP at the school this morning. Sometimes, when you're scared, a new parent and things are out of control, you lose sight of everything around you and rely on those in autority around you to take the lead. It's a natural reaction. It's real easy for us to sit here and see the situation for what we think it is and to give direction and criticism. It a whole other thing to be the person in the situation. Perhaps she doesn't see a difference between her contacting the police or the school contacting the police? Whatever her reason- she came here for support and constructive ideas- not harshness. Say what you need to, but please, try to say it with some compassion.

I'm glad you said this - I was going to say the same thing. Take it easy on her - she's doing what she feels is right. We don't have all the details - don't fool yourselves into thinking we do. This is her DAUGHTER and I'm sure she's TERRIFIED and she's got better things to do than to keep us updated on what's going on. She came here for support - I would be horrified if this thread turned on her when she needs support.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Sometimes, when you're scared, a new parent

is she a new parent?

 

[Planogirl]

I've been thinking about the OP and her reaction alot today. She has stated several times she is really scared. She has contacted the school authorities and the school authorities have now contacted the police and will have them meet the OP at the school this morning. Sometimes, when you're scared, a new parent and things are out of control, you lose sight of everything around you and rely on those in autority around you to take the lead. It's a natural reaction. It's real easy for us to sit here and see the situation for what we think it is and to give direction and criticism. It a whole other thing to be the person in the situation. Perhaps she doesn't see a difference between her contacting the police or the school contacting the police? Whatever her reason- she came here for support and constructive ideas- not harshness. Say what you need to, but please, try to say it with some compassion.

Well said.

 

[mickeyboat]

is she a new parent?

I think we can all consider ourselves new parents - we face new situations every day for which we have had no formal training. Besides, I should hope that none of us parents has had to deal with a death threat to one of our children.

Denae

 

[ladyv]

is she a new parent?

Does it matter? What the OP needs is support, ideas and comfort - not someone to chime in and tell her she's being a bad parent.

 

[SpecialK]

As the parent of a fourth grader, I can only imagine how terrified you must be. I'm praying that this is resolved quickly.

I haven't read every post, so forgive me if this has been said before. I am a former teacher; DH is currently teaching. Please consider this: While the school system is attempting to protect your child, it also has a vested interest in protecting itself. I have witnessed more than on situation where the authorities should have been called and were not. Schools are loathe to have bad publicity.

If, at this point, you have still only spoken to the police liaison, I would strongly encourage you to bypass the school and contact a detective. The school protocol is in place to screen out the nuts who would contact the police over typical kid stuff and to protect the school from bad press. The child who is doing this needs some serious help. The chances of that happening increase if the police are involved.

Good luck to you.

 

[dis4me]

any news???

 

[HarambeGuy]

Special K Grumpy's Gal got jumped on for suggesting going straight to the cops for a death threat, and you might also. But I agree with you both.

I hate that this is happening, and appreciate the kind words others have posted but to me a death threat is an EMERGENCY! If your child was hit by a car would you take them to school and have them call the ambulance? No, you do it yourself and get the quickest reaction you can.

FWIW, it looks for all the world to me like some bonehead kids pasting together stuff from Biomen and Warcraft etc. - but when it reaches the point of death threats there should be no hesitation.

 

[luvmyfam444]

ok what time is it in Ontario? I'd like to know how many hours ahead they are from me so I can check back on here for an update....

 

[kilee]

I know things are really hectic right now. But when it settles down please give us an update. I have been thinking of your dd all day. I truly hope you get to the bottom of this today and w/ nobody getting hurt.

 

[HarambeGuy]

Does it matter? What the OP needs is support, ideas and comfort - not someone to chime in and tell her she's being a bad parent.

I don't see anyone telling her she's a bad parent. I just see someone offering advice - and really good advice at that!

I have a fifth grader and I can tell you I would certainly be calling the cops before seeking help on a message board. But that's just me...

To the OP:
I really do hope you get this resolved ASAP! You are right to be frightened, and I feel for you. Nobody deserves to go through this either as the child or the parent. We really have your child's best interest at heart when we urge you to file a complaint directly with the police department rather than letting the school manage things.

Best of luck!

HarambeGuy

 

[Laura24]

What a great show of support. I feel as though I've read 98% of a great mystery novel....and just found out it's missing the last chapter. The plot thickens...

 

[kilee]

Most of Ontario if not all is Eastern time zone.

 

[Nancy]

ok what time is it in Ontario? I'd like to know how many hours ahead they are from me so I can check back on here for an update....

I believe most if not all of Ontario is EST, if so the time is now 12:58. If I read the other posts right, she is in school right now because today is her volunteer day.

 

[Tantor]

I've been thinking about the OP and her reaction alot today. She has stated several times she is really scared. She has contacted the school authorities and the school authorities have now contacted the police and will have them meet the OP at the school this morning. Sometimes, when you're scared, a new parent and things are out of control, you lose sight of everything around you and rely on those in autority around you to take the lead. It's a natural reaction. It's real easy for us to sit here and see the situation for what we think it is and to give direction and criticism. It a whole other thing to be the person in the situation. Perhaps she doesn't see a difference between her contacting the police or the school contacting the police? Whatever her reason- she came here for support and constructive ideas- not harshness. Say what you need to, but please, try to say it with some compassion.

Thank you karebear.
People are freaking out about this. Please calm down. Believe me we are not treating this lightly.
They found another note while the class was in session on another kids( friend of DD) sweater by her desk. It has been narrowed down to someone in the classroom. The teacher is wonderful and getting VERY frustrated by all of this and wondering why she can't catch this kid.
The whole thing has been reported to the police and is in there hands. We talked with them this morning.
I am trying very hard to keep my daughter calm in all this. By running around like a chicken with my head cut off is going to make it worse.
By the way my daughter is fine with how this is being handled.
The notes were NOT in plastic bags. They had been taped to the items.
The principal and Vice are very much on this. I have had many conversations with them since the meeting with the police this morning. I have also been monitering the halls myself as the library was just down the hall.

 

[robinb]

Thanks for the update. Has the school or police considered putting a camera in the classroom to catch the kid on tape?

 

[cruisnfamily]

They found another note while the class was in session on another kids( friend of DD) sweater by her desk.

What did the newest note say? What did yesterday's notes say?

 

[mickeyboat]

Thanks for the updates. I continue to think about you.

Denae

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Atleast they have it narrowed down a little bit. How scary. Hugs to you and your family.

 

[Katy Belle]

hugs to you and your little girl

I am praying the guilty party/parties are caught quickly and that the school treats it as a SERIOUS crime.
Katy