Saving seats at church

[castleview]

That's what I was told a few times everytime I went to sit down at Christmas Eve mass. Of course, I expected a huge crowd. I just didn't expect to be told that. I didn't expect one couple with twin babies to take up as much room as they did either. But it turned out they were waiting for another couple who showed up 15 minutes into the service.

Is this normal to save seats? Several people have said that's ridiculous. I just feel terrible because here it was Christmas Eve and I was about to tell at leat four people to go **** themselves. Not very Christian, I know.

 

[poohbears5]

I know how you feel . I stood the entire mass .

 

[Marseeya]

Were you alone? If so, there's no reason on earth somebody couldn't have made room for you.

 

[castleview]

No, I wasn't alone. It was me, DH, DDs 6 and 4 and baby. There were several pews that were half full that were being saved. We didn't care if we sat in one row. There were several pews where there were two seats left and we could have sat in back of the kids. Even if my DH stood at the back with the baby that would have been fine.

I just always thought church was first come, first serve...

 

[KathyFP]

We have had this happen to us. We were at DD's godmother's church. The church is small with a very small congregation. A lot of empty pews. DH is hard of hearing, so we sat in an empty pew close to the front of the church. A lady sat in the pew behind us and complained about us sitting in her seat. I got tired of hearing it and moved.

 

[OhMari]

I work fo a Catholic church and we have had many discussions on this topic. We came to the conclusion that our Usher's had to tell people sitting in the pews that they could not save seats.

It doesn't always work, because someone will let a car load off and go park the vehicle, so people say they are saving for 1 so that does happen.

This year we attended my husbands old church because his mother still sings in the choir. I knew we had to be there 45 minutes early to get a seat. I felt bad because we are not members there and we were taking regular parishioners seats.

I wanted to go to church on Christmas Day, but all my kids wanted to go Christmas Eve Mass at 4:00-- Christmas Day Mass. Mass on Christmas Day is usually less crowded.

Maybe people that go to church every weekend should get a pardon for attending all year and not have to attend on Christmas Day.

 

[castleview]

I felt bad because we are not members there and we were taking regular parishioners seats.

Thing is: That doesn't bother me if the people are not familiar. I realize some people are coming from out of town or some people just can't make it every Sunday. I, myself, can only get there 2-3 times a month - so I can't pretend I'm super church girl.

What was strange is the people I've never seen before were the ones saving the seats.

 

[delilah]

For Midnight Mass we always go early for just this reason. We got there about 11 pm, and the carols started about 11:15. Actually, our church wasn't all that crowded, since there had been an earlier Mass at 5pm, which probably was. Now, there are some people in our parish who are particularly bold and think that a particular pew belongs to them--we just avoid sitting there. Sure enough, these people (an extended family of about 8--would fill a whole pew on their own) came in about 11:45. Predictably, somebody else was already sitting in "their" pew, who actually already had been there when we came. So, they made something of a fuss about being split up--a bit noisy for Midnight Mass. (The one woman is on parish council, but, I think if you want to sit together, you'd better come early).

 

[Disney Ella]

When I went to church with my parents when I was growing up, we sat in the same seats every Sunday. All the regular churchgoers did. However, Christmas Eve was a different story. Nobody really cared about sitting in the same seats then. I guess I can see both sides. Everyone in your party might not get there at the same time, but then people who are there on time shouldn't have to fight to get a seat.

 

[Jeafl]

We have to get to mass an hour early on Christmas Eve if we want a seat. People who got there 30-40 minutes ahead of time were still standing.

This year, several people came in an hour before, laid their coats across the entire pew and then left thinking they could just return at the last minute. Well this older man who was an usher was walking around picking up coats and saying "I guess all these people don't know we have a cloak room". Then he proceeded to take all the coats and hang them up. It was quite entertaining to see the people come back 2 minutes before mass started to find people in their "saved" pew. I saw some very un-Christian like behavior let me tell you.

 

[Hermosa11]

Me: rather than asking...I begin to sit
Them: "Oh, this seat is saved"
Me: "Well, welcome me to your group, because I am sitting down"

 

[Hillbeans]

Personally, I think it's ok to save one seat if someone is parking the car, but to try and save a pew for your family who wants to arrive at 11:55 for Midnight mass is just unfair.

I think the church should just make a rule that there will be no saving of seats and it's first come, first serve - no exceptions except perhaps for someone handicapped who needs a seat and can't get there any earlier.

 

[swankybeth]

LOL Hermosa11. DH and I always end up standing on holidays because we can never manage to get there early enough. I wouldn't think that on holidays it's nice behavior to save seats, get there early or expect to stand!

 

[Talking Hands]

I know how you feel . I stood the entire mass .

I stood all but 5 minutes of an 1 1/2 hour service. Do it all all the time when only one interpreter is availabe. The interpreters actualy stand longer than the preachers or the choir.
We do save some seats until the service starts for the deaf members but they know once the service starts the seats are available to anyone. SO if the want the interpreting they better show up before we start. That is the only area that is reserved.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

We arrived 40 minutes early for the family service at our church. My mom was with us and uses a walker so we had to use the entrance at the front where the elevator is. We had to go at least 3/4 of the way to the back, passing many saved rows before we found space for the 4 of us. I was a little peeved because of my mom's limited mobility and the fact that we did arrive early enough. (We have been attending church here for 15 years and know the time frames.) There were far more saved seats thatn in the past. And we did save a seat for DH who was parking the car so that we could leave the handicapped spaces for others who needed them. No way we could get to our usual seats in the balcony.

 

[Hermosa11]

We arrived 40 minutes early for the family service at our church. My mom was with us and uses a walker so we had to use the entrance at the front where the elevator is. We had to go at least 3/4 of the way to the back, passing many saved rows before we found space for the 4 of us. I was a little peeved because of my mom's limited mobility and the fact that we did arrive early enough. (We have been attending church here for 15 years and know the time frames.) There were far more saved seats thatn in the past. And we did save a seat for DH who was parking the car so that we could leave the handicapped spaces for others who needed them. No way we could get to our usual seats in the balcony.

Just terrible..............we need to be our own advocate! We need to be more assertive!!! I have gotten just a little tougher in the past couple of years.
You just stand there........and make them provide a seat for you. Don't MAKE them have you EXPLAIN yourself.............
be tough...........be tough..............Be CONFIDENT!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

If I went to church with an elderly mother with mobility issues, I'd sit in the first available seat with no one in it. I would completely ignore the saved seat thing.

I've had people say to me "That's my seat" to which I usually reply, "I don't see your name on it", and remain seated right where I am.

I love the peole who come to Mass 5 minutes before it starts, particularly on Easter or Christmas, and expect there to be a front row seat for them and then look mad because there's not.

 

[Kath816]

I arrived 30 minutes early to get my seat at Christmas Eve Mass. My sister told us a tale from her church. She said that last Sunday the pastor told the congregation that there would be NO saving of seats for Christmas. He said that if you went to sit down and someone said that a seat was saved, that you should tell them, "Father Pat said you are not allowed to save seats." The end!! I like that Father Pat!

 

[disykat]

Front row seats are the last to go at our church - so you can come in late and waltz right up to the front! There was one spot empty at the 7:00 service on Christmas Eve - and it was in one of the front rows.

 

[minniecarousel]

We know that to attend a Christmas Eve Mass you must be in the church at least 35 minutes early to get a seat! That's the reason my Mom doesn't want to go on Christmas Eve. It's hard enough to sit/stand through 55 - 65 minutes. You go and add at least another half hour and she's so stiff and uncomfortable. She and I went to 9 am Mass and the Church was no where near full! At our Church, there is no saving of seats on Christmas Eve. If someone drops you off, just sit a little spread out and make room for your driver then.